King of Campus (47 page)

I can’t help but chuckle.  My mom was my biggest champion.  My loudest cheerleader.  I suppose that’s why the loss of her was so devastating.  It was like a light instantly being snuffed out within me.  And then there was only darkness.  “Thanks for saying that.”

“It’s the truth.  She was always so proud of everything you did, everything you accomplished.  Of the young woman you were growing into.”

It’s funny, because my dreams of dancing with a ballet company are actually coming true and I’m finally having this amazingly candid conversation with my dad and for the first time since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I finally feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me.  Like I can finally breathe again…

And yet something is still missing.

Or rather someone
..
.

Without Roan in my life, my dreams can’t fully be realized because without him to share them with, they don’t feel as monumental as they should.

“Dad,” I push out the words hastily before I can overthink them, “can I borrow your car?  There’s something I need to take care of.”

That’s the moment I realize that I’m doing exactly what would make my mom proud… I’m following my heart.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Sources confirm that Roan’s ex-girlfriend has left Barnett.  Does this mean we’ll finally get our favorite player back?  The one who has all the girls on campus happily dropping their panties with one sexy smile aimed in their direction?  Here’s hoping so…  KingOfCampus.com

Roan

Today, like the last week and a half of my life, has definitely sucked some major ass.  Thank god it’s almost over.  My gym bag is slung over my shoulder because I just can’t sit around that goddamn apartment for one more moment.

Thoughts of Ivy are pounding through my brain like a vicious headache.

Well that and the fucking mistake I made in letting her go in the first place.  But what else could I really do?  Hold her back from making a go of her dreams?

Nah...  No matter how much I love her, I couldn’t do that.

Plowing an agitated hand through my hair, I click the key fob to unlock the doors of my SUV.  I swear I had to stop myself about ten different times from jumping into my truck and taking off to see her.

Of course I want her to follow her dreams, but why couldn’t we do it together?

Maybe we could somehow beat the odds and make this relationship work.

But every time those thoughts would start to gain just a little bit of traction, reality would once again come crashing down upon my head.  Because letting her go, letting her pursue her dreams in Cincinnati without having to worry about me is the right thing to do.

God, but I just want her.

I’ve never wanted anyone more.  I never realized just how much it could hurt to love someone.  But it does.  Because it forces you to put that person ahead of your own selfish wants and needs and in the end, do what’s best for them.  Even if that means letting her go so she can achieve everything she was meant to.

Love sucks, man.

It sucks the big one.

So I’m heading to the gym and I’m really hoping that after a couple of hours working myself over, I’ll be exhausted enough to fall straight into bed and not think about how damn much I’m going to miss her.

How much I already miss her.

Fuck!

She’s all I can think about, all I see, all I hear…

“Roan!”

I have to actually shake my head because her voice won’t stop filling it.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the next semester feeling like this.  There are memories lurking around every single corner of campus.

“Roan, stop!  Wait!”

Even though I know it can’t possibly be Ivy yelling my name from the opposite end of the parking lot, I can’t help but whip towards it.  As my eyes collide with hers, my mouth falls open in surprise.

“
Ivy
?”  Even as I say her name, my eyes are eating her up.  Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes wide.  She looks breathless.  “What are you doing here?”

Not saying another word, she continues jogging towards me.  It takes her just a moment to finally close the distance separating us. When she’s just about three or four feet from where I’m still standing, her feet slow to a stop.  Her eyes suddenly flicker with uncertainty as they lock on mine.

It takes everything I have inside not to reach out and grab hold of her.  Not to crush her long lean body against mine.  I have to actually jam my hands in the pockets of my athletic shorts so I don’t do just that.  Because all I want is for her to fill the emptiness within me.

But if I actually do that, if I touch her for even a moment, I know damn well I won’t be able to let her go again.  It all but killed me to let her walk away earlier today.  I’m not strong enough to go through that kind of heartache again.

Not nearly strong enough.

“Ivy?”

Sucking in a deep breath, her eyes search mine before she finally whispers, “I couldn’t just leave.”

Her words have my heart suddenly thudding painfully against my chest.  “What do you mean?”  Hope slowly begins to trickle into my heart.

Biting down on her lip she looks unsure before blurting, “I couldn’t leave without telling you just how much I love you.  I’ve never felt that way before… about anyone.  And I can’t just let it go.”  She inhales a big breath before forcing it out slowly, sounding more sure of herself.  “I don’t want to let it go.”  Her voice continues to grow stronger.  More resolute.  “I don’t want to let
you
go.”

As much as I long to hear those words from her, they only make everything within me ache.  It’s like throwing salt into an open wound.  I can’t allow her to lose sight of her goals.  “You have to go to Cincinnati, baby. You have to follow your dreams.  I,” god this is so fucking painful, “I won’t stand in the way of that.”

Hesitantly she takes three small steps towards me.  Raising her trembling fingers to my cheek, she cups the side of my face in the palm of her hand.  I can’t help but close my eyes as she cradles it.  My breath comes out sounding ragged and broken.  Her touch, even as small as it is, kills me.

“You’re part of that dream now.  Without you, the rest doesn’t mean anything.”  She sounds so sure of herself, of what she wants.  “We can make this work, I know we can.”

My eyes open before searing hers.  “It won’t be easy,” I warn softly, “I don’t know where I’m going to end up next year.”  But what she’s saying- I want it too.  I want
her
.  I want to make this happen between us because the alternative is to be miserable without her.

She takes another step towards me until our bodies are almost flush.  Until I can all but feel the heat of her beautiful body against mine.  “I don’t care.  I just know that I need you in my life.  And I want to be part of yours.  I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Dropping my gym bag, my arms snake around her before hauling her even closer.  My lips hover over hers for just a moment before I whisper, “Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?  Because I won’t let you go ever again.  I can’t.”

Her lips slide up into a big bright happy smile.  “Good.  Because I don’t plan on ever letting you go either.”

As soon as those words leave her lips, my mouth crashes down on hers and, goddamn, nothing has ever felt so good.  So right.

One and a half weeks…

I’ve gone without the taste of her for one and a half weeks and they’ve been the worst of my life.  Ivy’s the only girl who ever took the time to see me for the guy I am beneath all the surface bullshit.   From the first moment I saw her, I knew there was something different about her.  Something that called to me and had me continually coming back for more.  I honestly can’t imagine my life without her in it.

Thank god, I don’t have to.

Being without her when she heads to Cincinnati is going to suck major ass.  But I have confidence that we’ll get through this.  We’ll find a way to mesh our two worlds and make it work.  Because the alternative is to say goodbye and move on with our lives separately.

And I just can’t do that.

She’s the only girl I’ve ever wanted to be with.  Ever loved.  Loved enough to let her go when I thought that’s what was best for her.

“I have a couple of hours before I need to head back to my dad’s.”  Her eyelids lower and something deep within me stirs at the sexy look she’s casting my way.  Already I know that a couple of hours won’t be nearly enough to feed the need I have for her, but if that’s all I’m going to get, I’ll happily take it.

She squeals as I suddenly lift her into my arms before carrying her up to my apartment.  I don’t bother letting her go until we’re locked inside my bedroom.

Hell… I’m never going to let her go again.

Epilogue

Was there anyone who doubted even for a moment that Roan King, Barnett’s very own King of Campus, wouldn’t turn pro this year?  Nope… didn’t think so.  The man is a total god…  Barnett won’t be the same without him…  Farewell, RK, we’ll still have Sunday afternoons during football season…  KingOfCampus.com

June

My feet ache as I ride the elevator up to the twentieth floor.  But I’m used to it now.  The rehearsal schedule for the CBC is just as demanding as I imagined it would be.  Every single muscle in my body has been completely worked over and the thought of soaking in a nice hot bath sounds like absolute bliss right about now.

I was hoping to make it home earlier tonight, so I could cook a nice dinner but practice ran longer than expected.  We’re in the middle of learning new choreography, so this entire week has been grueling.  I’ve been with the Cincinnati Ballet for more than six months now.  Rehearsals are long.  Expectations are a mile high.  And perfection is the standard. If you can’t hack it, you can exit stage left.

That being said, I love every single gloriously punishing moment of it.  Leaving school and moving to Cincinnati was the right decision to make.  Sure, it took a month or so for me to get acclimated, but each and every day I’m here, I get to live my dream.  Not many people can say that.  So I know just how lucky I am to be doing it.

Pulling out my key, I turn the lock before pushing open the door.  As soon as I’m standing inside the entryway, I throw my keys into the bowl Lexie gave me as a going away gift when I packed up all my stuff back in November.  She figured I would probably need it a lot more than she did.

It’s just another reason why Lexie Abbott is, and always will be, my best friend.  That girl knows me like no other.

Dropping my bag to the gray marble floor, I softly pad into our spacious apartment.  “Hello?”

Turning away from the oven, a huge smile lights up Roan’s handsome face as our eyes collide.  “Hey, babe.” He throws the pot holders down onto the black granite countertop before quickly eating up the distance between us.  “Missed you today.”

He doesn’t say another word before taking me into his muscular arms and holding me close.  For just a moment, I inhale a nice big breath of him.  It feels so damn good to be home again.  Because that’s exactly the way our apartment feels- like home
.

And together, we made it happen.  I’m just so thankful Roan and I were able to make our relationship work.  The winter and spring were difficult with me in Cincinnati and Roan finishing up at Barnett but we called, texted, FaceTimed, and visited as often as our schedules would permit.

You name it, we did it.

And I’m not even going to talk about all the sexy phones calls that took place late at night… since we couldn’t see one another very often, you better believe there were a whole lot of those going on.

As soon as I left for Cincinnati, Roan spoke with his agent about making a push for the Cincinnati Bengals.  Although anyone could draft him, that was the focus.  Luckily for us, Roan went in the first round.

Drumroll please… to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Once Roan knew he was coming here, we started hunting for an apartment and were lucky enough to find this one after only a few weeks of looking.  It has two spacious bedrooms and a huge gourmet kitchen and living room.  But it was the massive wall of floor to ceiling windows that look out over the city that sold us on the place.  And with Roan’s signing bonus, we were able to afford it.  I moved in first and then, after finishing up in May, Roan followed.

We’ve been together in Cincinnati for over a month now.

Even though we’ve been a couple for more than nine months, we haven’t lived in the same city for most of it.  I’m not going to lie, I was a little worried that once he got here and we were actually living together twenty-four seven, our relationship wouldn’t be as good as we thought it was.  Maybe we wouldn’t get along as well as we used to.  Or our feelings might have changed with all the distance…

But that hasn’t been the case at all.

In fact, it’s been the complete opposite.

I couldn’t love Roan more.  I absolutely adore living here with him.