Kimber (23 page)

 “And
that’s it, just like that we’re bound? I don’t get a say or a choice?” 

“Is
that hostility I sense?” His right brow twitches and a smirk plays on the
corner of his mouth.

I’m
over playing his deluded little game.

“Yes,
it is! I can’t believe you can face me after what you did. I can’t believe how
so far gone you are from the person I remember. And you know what, you were
right, it is all your fault. You’ve became this egotistical, emotionally dead, douche
bag.” Emotion spews the honesty right out of me. I can’t stand to look across
this table at him for one more second with that stupid, who me, look on his
face. “I’m done!”

I
push away from the table and storm off to the bedroom. I zip up the duffle bag
and grab my cell from my purse. I’ll call Amber to come get me and Lena will
just have to understand.

“Kimber.”
He calls from behind me. The amusement in his tone has vanished.

I
turn around and unknowingly enter his embrace. The touch of him stimulates every
part of me. I’m annoyed by how easily the anger I could have suffocated him with
is demolished just by his touch. My body betrays me, giving way to my secret
desires. His arms fit naturally around me. I relax against him as he pulls me
closer against his chest. He smells of sandalwood and rain.

 “I’m
lost. Driven by paranoia. I guard myself against you. Still you’re embedded in
my skin. I can’t swallow without recalling the curve of your lips. I’m
wholeheartedly sorry for lying to you. I don’t want it to be this way but if
torturing and denying myself means you live another day, how can I not?”   

I
nuzzle my cheek against his chest. Inside my heart aches to reach his. To feel
a familiar beat within its self.

“Admit
it.” I whisper past the tightness in my throat. I wrap my arms around his
waist, linking him to me.

He
lets out a defeated sigh. “I love you. I haven’t stopped. I know I never will,
aroha.”

“Again.”
I bring my hand up to his face. He leans into it.

“I
love you.” He says with absolute conviction. His green eyes peer into me, past
my heart and into my soul.

His
hands take me by the hip bringing us closer. Instinctually my hands press
against his chest, spreading across and testing the lean muscle beneath them. His
jaw tightens as he looks from my eyes to my mouth. Sweet satisfaction crashes
against me as he brings his lips down against mine. He kisses me urgently. His
tongue begs for entrance and glides over mine when I give it.

Reaching
my hands around his neck, I anchor him to me. When I nibble his lower lip he
moans pushing me back against the wall pinning his hips against me. Gathering
both my hands in one of his, he holds them above my head. His other hand runs
deliciously free over me. My head swims. Every second with him, like this, erases
each day without him one by one. When he lets my hands loose I take claim of
his mouth.

Suddenly
something feels different. His kiss isn’t the same. He pulls his mouth from
mine jolting me back to reality. He steps back, rubbing his fingers against his
lips. I contemplate attacking him. The pulsating energy vibrating though me
needs him. I step closer, ready for another taste of paradise.

“Wait.”
He holds his hand out countering my step with one backwards.

Slapping
me across the face would be less painful. His heavy sigh warns me.
Get out
while you can
, the last sane piece of me orders. But I can’t. I feel
chained to the floor. 

“Leo.”
I wish he’d meet my eyes. I wish he didn’t look so confused and regretful.

“The
Grigori are unpredictable. It’s more than just my submission. And now you have
my blood.” He rambles. “Without contacting them there’s no way of knowing if
Luke was what we’re looking for.”

“Leo.”
I step closer. He looks at me with blue eyes but his real attention is focused
inward. “Despite what you think, I get it. But I say let the Grigori do what
they will because every minute with you is better than without you. I want you.
If you can’t give me that then I need closure.” 

“It
can’t be that simple. We can’t be something everyone knows.” He takes me back
into his arms.

I
close my eyes feeling as though he’s heard nothing I’ve said. I breathe a slow
breath waiting for him to kill my soul or restart my heart.

 “I
swear I will protect you. That you will never be alone and that nothing will ever
stand in my way of loving you. In private, when we’re alone, you’ll have
everything I am.” He tips my face up to his. “It has to be a compromise.”

I
shake my head. “That’s absurd. That’s not a relationship. I’d rather live in
fear than have to keep track of when you’re
pretending
to treat me like
crap.” I pull away.

“I
want to be with you but trust me when it comes to the Grigori. They’ll expect
us together in some capacity. Half bloods, mutts around the world would do
anything for their acceptance. We can’t depict an interest they’ll look for.”

“So
our relationship has to be a covert operation?”

“It’s
the best I can do to accommodate your safety and have you the way I want to.”

This
isn’t what I wanted. I can’t lie to my friends and portray hating the person I
love most. I’m just not built that way. But that’s where the line is drawn
between Leo and I. I’d take on the Grigori for just a chance at making them
understand. I don’t have to be the enemy.

 “I
can’t.”

I
turn away pulling my arm free as he reaches for it. I don’t know where to go
but I can’t stay here.

I
pull open the front door just as Lena is walking up.

“Look
who I found!” She points to Amber behind her then notices my emotional
disarray. “What’s happened?”

I
run my fingers through my hair and try to pull myself together. I don’t have
the energy to explain something Lena can figure out on her own. It’s Amber I
worry about tipping off. Today’s barbeque isn’t about me or our nations
birthday. It’s about the people closest to me. It’s about getting back to the
basics.

“I’ve
been worried about you.” I smile past Lena to Amber. “Hey it stopped raining!”

I
stand to the side as they enter the living room. The sound of charcoal hitting
the grill tells me Leo snuck out the back.

            By two thirty,
Robin and Joel arrived followed by Tiffany and Tommy. Everyone brings more than
one dish of their favorite potluck must haves.

            As everyone
settles in I realize, through general conversation, that the last time my
friends were all together was on my birthday last month. It saddens me to think
that this aspect of my life has also changed. Had we reached an official part
of adulthood where friends only see each other on holidays or birthdays? Are my
friends so involved with real life that sporadically meeting up is passé?

I
wipe my brow and realize I’m sweating. What was I thinking, wearing pants in
July? I run inside and find a white v-neck sundress inside the duffle bag. Even
though my wound is almost healed I know there’s still a risk of infection. I
redress it with new gauze and tape. I forgo footwear. Feeling immensely cooler,
I start to head out back.

The
doorbell rings.

I
stop and contemplate who it could be. I walk towards the door. I wonder if I’ll
ever be able to look at a door and not think Luke’s behind it. I swallow the
thought and pull it open.

“Mike?”

The
sight of Mike D. is unexpected. Since I haven’t seen or heard anything about
him I figured he went back to Arizona. He doesn’t look much different since the
last time I saw him at Tommy’s party where I smashed my head open and bled all
over. Nothing about him stands out as extraordinary, except his emerald green eyes.
He’s always just appeared normal. It’s odd though, ‘cause it’s almost like,
that’s all your supposed to see.

“Aye,
Ducky!” He leans in gently to hug me.

“Ducky?
Are you British now?” I laugh.

“I’ve
been around, Ducky.” He smiles and I have a feeling the name isn’t going
anywhere. “So what’s on tonight’s roster, blood by firework?” He smirks.

“Ha!
You’re too funny!” I smile back.

Behind
me I hear the back door open and close. I don’t need to look to know it’s Leo.
It’s almost like I can feel him there. I wonder if this is what he meant by us
being bound.
Ah hell!

“Gidday
mate.” Mike mocks.

“It’s
‘bout time you got here and stop pissin’ around?” Leo says greeting Mike with a
handshake that turns into a brotherly hug.

“Ok,
well, you guys are good on your own so…” I turn to walk away but Leo takes hold
of my hand. I pull it free.

“Actually,
there’s something I think you should know.” He hesitates, sliding his hands
inside his pockets. “Mike is a Nephilim.” He says like it’s some big
revelation.

“Who
isn’t?” I huff sardonically. I’m sick of hearing about Nephilims. It might be a
part of who I am but it doesn’t define me.

“Nice.”
Mike laughs. “First you tell the Grigori to piss off and now you’ve got ‘em
running for the other side.

“Other
side, like the bad guys?” Looking from Leo to Mike, I fold my arms over my
chest.

“Leo
always skips the good parts.” Mike shakes his head, smirks and pats Leo’s
shoulder. It’s a, man I feel sorry for you, type of pat. I roll my eyes.

“Your
family isn’t something I worry about let alone want to chat about.” Leo
derides.

“We’ll
then, let’s keep it short.” Mike turns from Leo to me. He puts his arm around
my neck, leading us slowly into the kitchen where he leans up against the
counter. “All you need to know about the Neph race is three things. One, the
Grigori are a bunch of old Pure dicks who sit nestled away letting their underlings,
no offense,” he looks past me to Leo, “protect humanity, while they take all
the credit. Two, not all Nephs are good, and the ones that aren’t rage a feud
against the Grigori and anyone associated with them. They have a point though,
we’re the superior race. And three, we’re excellent lovers.” He winks at me
before noticing Leo’s less than amused stare. “Chillax, I’m helpin’ you out.”

 “So
obviously, in some way, you’re the bad guy but how does it work? How are you
two such good friends if you fight for different sides?”

 “My
father was a sucker for a good girl in a tight dress.”

“
Ew
.
That’s your mom you’re talking about.”

They
both laugh at me. “The point is, after my conception they couldn’t hide. They
made a choice, paid their dues and got out early. You can think of me as
Switzerland.”

It’s
obvious this subject isn’t one Mike cares to elaborate on. I can’t imagine what
kind of dues his parents had to pay or how you opt out of something that
embodies who you are. But I wonder what keeps him on the neutral, or as he put
it, the Switzerland side of things? I file the question away but another comes
to mind.

“Why
is it that you appear so, normal?” Behind me Leo stifles another laugh. I shake
my head. That hadn’t come out right. “I just mean, I can’t get past this
exterior part of you. Does that makes sense?”

“I’m
surprised you sensed it. You’re perceptive, Ducky.” He smiles approvingly.
“It’s like camouflage. It creates the illusion that I am no different. If I
were good natured, like Angel boy,” he gestures to Leo, “you wouldn’t notice
anything. Since I’ve got a bit of monster in me, I’m designed to be appealing.
Helps subdue your natural reaction to stay away from me.”

 
Never
become prey
, I mentally note as we join the group outside.   Leo controls
the grill while the guys stand around him talking guy stuff. The girls have
formed a half circle with their chairs. I take the seat between Lena and Amber.

I
look at Lena and smile, remembering last night. Together we’ve survived a
tragedy. It’s nice to know that when she says she understands, it’s because she
does. I’m truly lucky to have her. Lena smiles back and nods as though she
understands our bond is solidified.

             The girls
go back and forth, catching me up on each of their lives. Tiffany talks about
an upcoming fitting we will all need to attend for our bridesmaid dresses.
Robin excitedly informs us that she and her brother Joel are two days away from
moving out of their parent’s house. They signed a one-year lease for an
apartment in Gainesville. They start their freshman semester at the University
of Florida in September.

            It saddens
me to know I’ll be seeing even less of Robin. We’ve known each other since our
sophomore year in high school. I consider her a close friend. For some reason
we just never reached that point in our friendship that truly bonded us like I
had with Amber and Tiffany. Nonetheless, I still care for her.

“Ok,
so you’re getting hitched and you’re going off to school.” I look at each of my
friends then turn to Amber. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”