Key To My Heart (Love Conquers All) (4 page)

She had kept her secret from them for years. And it really hadn’t been all that difficult. After giving birth, Ava had taken the National Council Licensure Examination to become a registered nurse. Her main goal had been to get a job at a large teaching hospital in Center City Philadelphia where she could immerse herself in taking care of the sick. And that was exactly what she had done after receiving notification that she had successfully passed state boards.

During Ava’s first week on the job, she met Starr Avery. Starr had been a nurse in the hospice unit for two years and was assigned to precept Ava into the role of being a staff nurse. After spending several weeks together, the young women became fast friends. A year later, Summer Jackson was hired as a staff nurse. Ava and Starr immediately reached out to the shy, twenty-one-year-old, offering their friendship. Now the three were the best of friends.

Putting all of her energy into her new job and fostering a friendship with Starr and then Summer, Ava had pushed her heartache to a very dark corner in the back of her mind, only letting it surface when alone. And those occasions were very few.

Her life was occupied with being young and having a good time. Never giving her past life much thought, she and her best friends lived the lives of fancy-free, foot-loose, and high-spirited young women. When they weren’t hopping on a train to New York for a weekend getaway shopping spree, booking a last minute discount trip to some tropical island, or ditching a pack of strays that came sniffing after them when they ventured out to a club, they were lounging in pajamas chatting, watching old movies, and sipping on Arbor Mist until the wee hours of the morning. With all of this going on, Ava hardly had time to dwell on the past. Her busy life numbed the pain.

Yeah, it had all been so easy back then. But everything had changed when her friends began having children. Each time she witnessed them holding their babies, her heart twisted into a thousand knots, bringing back a rush of agonizing memories. No mother should be denied the basic right to hold a baby she’d loved and nurtured in her body for nine months.

So immersed in her thoughts, Ava never saw the man walking toward her SUV. When he knocked on the window, she nearly shattered the windshield with the piercing scream that erupted from her lips.

Sucking her teeth, she rolled down the window. Somebody was about to get a good cussing out. “What the—” Her words came to an abrupt halt as she saw who was leaning down and peering at her through the window.

“Kevin! Don’t scare me like that no more!” Ava yelled.

Kevin grinned. “Sorry. Just wondering why you’re sitting out here. Starr and Summer are waiting for you.”

“Stop grinning at me,” Ava snapped as she grabbed her purse and then swung the door open, causing Kevin to quickly step back lest she knock him to the ground. “I was getting myself together before I went in. Is that all right with you?”

Kevin tilted his head to the side as he stared at Ava. All traces of his grin vanished. “You OK, Av?” he asked. Over the years Kevin had become accustomed to Ava’s feisty and openly opinionated views, but she was never outright nasty. “Look, if you need to do something or go somewhere else, I can stay home.”

Taking a deep breath, Ava felt awful for snapping at Kevin. It wasn’t his fault she was having a major life crisis. Kevin was one of the good guys. Although she was a little skeptical things would work out with him and Starr after they were married in a drunken stupor while in Vegas, she soon learned he was madly in love with her best friend. And now that they had three little ones—triplets—his love for Starr and his children was beyond breathtaking. Yeah, he was one of the good ones.

She wanted him to go get his much deserved break. Every Tuesday evening she and Summer came over to help Starr with the babies so Kevin could have his “me” time. On Thursday evenings, Nick, Summer’s husband, and his father, Henry, did the same for Starr.

Ava wrapped her arms around her waist, embarrassed by her outburst. “No, you don’t have to stay home. I’m sorry, Kev, I…I’ve had a really emotional day.” Standing on tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. “We cool, brother?”

Without hesitation, Kevin pulled Ava into a brotherly embrace. “We cool, sis.”

eee

Holding Sydney’s warm, sleeping body close to her chest, Ava inhaled the baby’s freshly shampooed hair. The silky dark curls tickled Ava’s nose as she continued to inhale the sweet scent deep into her lungs. When the little body began to stir, Ava gently rocked in the rocking chair until the stirring quieted.

Suddenly, the months of cracking and chipping at the tough exterior she so proudly wore as a badge of honor gave way. After the first tear fell, it was useless to try to keep the others from following. Holding this precious little cherub so close to her heart was literally eating her up inside.

Did she even deserve to have her child? What mother would give her child away? What mother would choose someone else’s future and happiness over her child’s?

Snuggling the slumbering nine-month-old babe closer, Ava began to softly chant, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Quietly entering the nursery, Starr nearly dropped the plate of food she held when she saw Ava. An hour or so ago, she and Summer had put Shayla and Kalvin to bed. Sydney had been extremely restless. Teething wasn’t being as kind to her as it was being to her brother and sister. Ava had volunteered to stay with Sydney until she had drifted off to sleep while Starr and Summer went downstairs to have dinner.

Concerned that Sydney was still fussy, Starr decided to take her off of Ava’s hands so Ava could eat dinner. The last thing she expected to see when she came into the nursery was Ava holding her daughter and literally crying her eyes out.

Setting the plate down on the dresser, Starr walked over to Ava and kneeled in front of her. “Hey, Av, sweetie, what’s going on?” she softly whispered, getting her friend’s attention.

Too mentally fatigued to be embarrassed she had been caught crying, Ava let out a moan equivalent to that of a small wounded animal. The pain was so deep, lacerating the depth of her soul, that at that moment she couldn’t coherently form words if her life depended on it.

Starr didn’t know what to do as she kneeled there helplessly gazing at Ava. She had never seen her friend, her sister so broken. Reaching up, Starr made the mistake of attempting to take the slumbering baby from Ava’s arms.

“No! Don’t take her! Please don’t take her!” Ava shrieked in a blood curdling scream, drawing the infant closer.

The outburst startled Starr something terrible. Losing her balance, she fell back on her butt, hitting the floor hard. It was a wonder Sydney or the other babies hadn’t woken up fussy all over again. But to Starr’s amazement, her babies slept through it all.

Quickly regaining her composure, Starr was back to her kneeling position. “OK, OK, sweetie. You can hold Sydney a little longer. Just calm down.” Starr tried to calm Ava as she soothingly rubbed her thigh.

Taking two steps at a time, Summer ran into the nursery. “What’s going on?” she panted, short of breath, her brown eyes shooting from Ava and Sydney to Starr.

Starr hunched her shoulders. Just as she was about to tell Summer to call Kevin, Ava opened her mouth. “Seven years ago I had a baby.” Softly kissing the curls on top of Sydney’s head, her red, swollen eyes met those of her friends. “A little baby girl. I don’t even know her name.” Ava’s voice trembled and tears continued to flow as she finally shared her secret.

When she had finished purging, the other women were crying too. They’d always looked up to Ava as the strong one, the tough one. But here she was hurting in a way only a mother would understand.

Starr and Summer shared a look. Why had their friend, their sister carried this burden all alone during all the years she’d known them?

“Ava, honey, why didn’t you tell us?” Summer gently probed. Something like this should have never been kept a secret from them. Didn’t she know they loved her? That they would have been there for her? That they would have done anything for her?

Standing, Ava carried Sydney over to the crib. Gently kissing her forehead, she laid down the sleeping baby. Turning to face her friends, she admitted, “I didn’t think you would understand.” What she really wanted to tell them was that she was terrified they would think badly of her, especially since they were now mothers.

The weary lines of worry on Ava’s face squeezed at Starr’s heart. “Oh, Av, you were younger then and afraid to go to your parents. At the time you felt like you had no other choice. It’s not our place to judge you. You know we would have been there for you then, just like we’re going to be there now.”

“Believe me, I know how hard it was for you and why you couldn’t tell your folks. When I told my parents I was pregnant with NJ, they let me have it. I’ll never forget the look my father gave me or how my mother yelled at me like I was thirteen-years-old,” Summer said, trying to console her friend.

Ava remembered. Poor Summer was a mess. Nick had just dumped her without so much as an explanation, then she found out she was pregnant, and the icing on the cake was that her parents acted as if she had committed a crime.
But she kept her baby anyway,
Ava thought.

Starr and Summer shared another look when they saw that their words were not getting though to their friend. Even though they tried to comfort Ava, the wounds were too deep. They realized no words would soothe the gaping hole in Ava’s heart. All they could do for now was be a shoulder for her to lean her weary soul on.

“Come on, group hug,” Summer said, holding both her arms wide open. After the friends hugged and cried for what seemed like forever, they broke the embrace.

Stepping back, Summer put her hands on slender hips as she looked up at her friend. “So, when are we going to Georgetown?”

“Yeah, when we going?” Starr parroted.

Ava laughed for the first time in weeks. She should have known her girls would have her back. Always. No matter what.

“Uh-uh, don’t even try it. I am not, will not get myself in no mess with Nick and Kevin,” she said, shaking her head. “Nope, not having it.”

“Chicken,” Starr mumbled.

“Mmm-hmm, yup. Chicken, that’s me,” Ava said, nodding.

Whatever,
Summer thought as she threw Starr a look, then rolled her eyes at Ava.

Reading Summer’s expression, Starr sucked her teeth,
yeah, whatever.
Ava was always up in their business, ready to throw down. Now that they were ready to roll up on those Warringtons in Georgetown, she had to go pull the husband card on them.

Ava went over to the dresser, got her plate, and sat back down in the rocking chair. Her stomach was growling. For weeks she hadn’t had an appetite. Unloading on her girls finally restored it. “Mmm, Starr, this meatloaf is good.” Swallowing, Ava spooned a fork full of the mash potatoes and gravy into her mouth. “Wow, so are the mashed potatoes. Is this gravy homemade?”

Starr put her hands on her hips. No Ava wasn’t sitting up in her babies’ nursery wolfing down food like she wasn’t just about to have a nervous breakdown. And to boot, she was up to something and didn’t want them in on it. OK, fine.

“You know what, Ava, you ain’t right,” Starr hissed. If this was the good old days when she and Summer weren’t married, the three of them would be in somebody’s car eating up 95 south to go do some serious damage.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Looking around Summer and Starr who were now standing in front of her, Ava scanned the dresser where the plate was. “You didn’t bring me anything to drink?”

Both of the women’s mouths flew open in irritated awe. “No that heifer didn’t!” Summer shrieked.

“Yes that heifer did!” Starr fired back.

“OK, if y’all are finished calling me a heifer, could somebody go get me something to drink? Starr, although the meatloaf is good, you were a little heavy on the salt. I’m thirsty.” As Ava talked she shooed her friends away like they were a couple of pesky flies.

Starr’s head jerked back as if she’d been slapped, and Summer’s hand flew over her mouth to keep from cracking up with laughter. Summer knew Ava had made Starr hot up under the collar when Starr put her hands on her hips.

“Ava, don’t make me pimp slap you for talking trash up in my house about my cooking.”

Ava almost choked on her laughter as she swallowed a piece of the tender meat. That gave Summer the go ahead to let loose her own laughter, which caused Starr to fall in laughing right along with her girls.

“Come on, Summer, let’s go downstairs to get Queen Ava a drink.”

After they left the room Ava continued to enjoy her meal. She had a plan all right, but she wasn’t bringing them in on it. If she ended up on the wrong side of the law, no way was she dragging her sisters with her. This was her fight to handle.

eee

“What’s up with Ava?” Kevin asked his wife as she curled up next to him on the sofa in the den where he was watching a TiVo’d episode of
The Unit.
He was still a little concerned by Ava’s behavior earlier that day. Not only had she been extremely edgy, but it was evident that she had been crying.

“Why you ask, baby?” Starr purred as she nestled closer.

“She nearly took off my head earlier when I saw her outside. She apologized, but it looked like something was really bothering her.”