Key To My Heart (Love Conquers All) (11 page)

“Has Grandmother ever hit you?” Ava asked quietly as she stared at Zoe.

“Huh?” was Zoe’s response as she looked up from combing the doll’s hair. Her eyes had become the size of saucers. She shouldn’t have told Mommy that Grandmother was mean to her.

“It’s all right, baby. You can tell me the truth,” Ava coaxed, pulling Zoe into a hug.

Nodding, Zoe admitted, “She used to spank me.” When Ava let out a deep, frustrated breath, the child was quick to add, “But Daddy told her never to hit me again.”

Oh, hell to the NO!
Fury flooded through Ava so fast and furious that her head began to throb. This was the second time Zoe had voiced being afraid of Langston’s mother. And now to find out the old witch had been hitting on her baby? Guilt wrapped around Ava, nearly squeezing the air out of her. It was her fault, all her fault that her baby had been tortured by that evil woman.

Pulling the small child into her lap, Ava hugged her tightly, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I’m so sorry, my Zoe.”

All she could remember as she held her child was how awful Mrs. Warrington had treated her when she and Langston were together. And now that woman was treating her baby the same way. Back then she really hadn’t said or done anything to defend herself. She was so in love with Langston that she’d done everything in her power to avoid a confrontation with the woman. Well, this was a new day. Ava didn’t have a problem with confrontation, especially when it involved her child. First person she’d be confronting was Langston when they met tomorrow afternoon.

Although Zoe was confused as to why her mommy was sorry, she snuggled into the embrace and enjoyed the warmth.

Langston looked up when he heard the knock on the door. Glancing at his watch, he saw that he wasn’t due to meet Ava in the lobby for another fifteen minutes. Crossing the room, he looked through the peephole and saw Ava. He quickly opened the door.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She looked so good. He’d been up just about the entire night thinking about her. Since she’d come charging into his office weeks ago, he’d been distracted by the very thought of her.

“Ava.” The sound of her name was like a warm breeze floating across his full, sensual lips.

Ava’s intention had been to storm into his hotel room, ready to rumble. However, when he opened the door, her brain got stuck on stupid. Langston was wearing the same shade of blue shirt he wore that day on Howard’s campus when she’d asked him for help. The nice fitting, well-worn jeans he was sporting added to his allure. When he murmured her name, looking deep into her eyes, she got tingly all over. How was she going to tell him off when just seeing him was doing crazy things to her, things she hadn’t felt in years?

“I know I’m early and was supposed to meet you downstairs in the lobby, but I needed to talk to you now.”

“All right, come on in.” Stepping aside, he allowed Ava to pass. She smelled like heaven. He couldn’t help checking out how her hips and bottom filled out her jeans to perfection. “Have a seat,” he offered, pointing to the loveseat in the sitting area of the room. “How’s Zoe doing?”

“She’s good. My parents wanted to spend the day with her.”

Langston nodded. He was glad Zoe had taken so well to Ava’s family. When he talked with her earlier this morning, she was very excited about meeting her new grandparents and uncle. Suggesting she come to Philly to spend the weekend had been for the best. Although he loved his daughter fiercely, he was wise enough to realize she needed the love and nurturing of a mother and doting grandparents.

An easy smile formed over his lips. “I’m glad.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ava agreed.

Uneasy silence filtered throughout the space. Neither knew what to say as they both realized they were alone, in a room, with a bed. This hadn’t been an issue during their past life together. Then they would have been in the bed making slow, sensual, satisfying love all day and all night, only stopping to take care of their personal needs and to eat to replenish their strength.

Langston remembered the first time he’d made love to Ava. He had treated her differently from all the other girls. She wasn’t some willing body he was using to quench his carnal needs. He loved her, and she loved him, so that made their coming together special.

Ava had made him wait six agonizing months before she gave in to Langston. She had been so nervous, being a virgin and all. She had promised her mother and herself that she would wait until marriage. With Langston that promise was so very hard to hold on to. He was the sweetest guy she’d known. And not once had he forced, pressured or coaxed her into anything. When she decided to make love it was because she loved him and thought they would eventually marry.

Ava and Langston spoke simultaneously, breaking the awkward silence, and causing them both to laugh. “You go first,” Langston offered, taking a seat at the desk. With thoughts of them making love running through his mind, there was no way he would be able to sit next to her and not touch her.

Threading her fingers through her shoulder length curls, Ava didn’t know where to start. Having just had tender memories of Langston was messing with her head. Blowing out a breath, she decided to go ahead and just jump in head first. “Zoe told me your mother is mean to her and she’s hit her before.”

An expletive erupted from Langston’s lips. Did Ava think he willingly allowed his mother to treat Zoe so harshly? He still had a difficult time being in his mother’s presence because of how she treated his child.

“Ava, I wish I could deny it. All I can tell you is that it won’t happen again.”

Damn straight.
“And how do you know?” Ava challenged.

Langston rubbed his hand over his closely cropped hair. “Because I don’t let her anywhere near Zoe. I’ve even had her removed as a contact person at Zoe’s school. I’ve also given them your name and number. I hope that was OK.”

“Yes, that fine,” Ava said, her voice drifting off. What was wrong with that woman? Why in the world had she been so hateful to her and now to her daughter? “You know, Langston, your mother has always hated me for no reason. And now she’s treating Zoe the same way. It used to hurt my feelings so badly. I can only imagine how an innocent seven-year-old child feels.” Ava looked up to meet Langston’s gaze. “Why?”

He didn’t have to ask Ava to clarify her simple question. He fully understood what she was asking. Standing, he rolled his shoulders as he prepared himself to tell Ava about his parents’ sordid past.

Tears of anger, hurt, and frustration threatened to blind Ava as she listened to Langston. His mother was a sick woman. How could anyone be so diabolical? The crazy thing about all of this mess was that Ava was the only girl who ever truly loved her son. Not because he was a Warrington, but because he was special to her. That alone should have made the loony woman happy. Instead she carried a grudge against Ava because of another woman and
her
husband’s betrayal, simply because she
looked
like the woman. And now because she was no longer around to vent her anger, Zoe had become her replacement. The guilt that claimed Ava the night before threatened to grip a chokehold on her again.

Ava’s voice trembled when she spoke in a soft whisper. “This is my fault. I should have left you alone the first time your mother said something out of the way to me.”

A lone tear slid down her cheek. What was she saying? If she had done so, Zoe would never have been born. Yet it killed her to know that because of her, her child had been treated so badly by someone who should have loved her. After all, Zoe was Langston’s child too.

Without thinking, Langston went to Ava. She didn’t resist when he pulled her into his arms. “Don’t say that,” he pleaded. “None of this is your fault. If anything, it’s my fault. I didn’t want to believe my own mother could be so cruel. Baby, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I should have been a man and stood up to her.”

This wasn’t the first time self-loathing pricked at his being. As of late, it tormented him whenever he thought about Ava and how she should have been right there alongside him, raising their daughter. Not only had he robbed Ava, but he’d robbed Zoe as well. And for what? To please parents who had done nothing but deceive him.

He had given up the woman he loved, had never stopped loving. Now he wanted her back. And he was willing to do whatever it would take. Zoe deserved to have both of her parents.

Allowing herself to be comforted, Ava melted into Langston’s warm embrace. How could she continue to hold hatred in her heart toward this man, the father of her child? Did she understand the role he played in their breakup? No. However, she did agree with him when he admitted he should have been a man, stood up and fought to keep their family together. Would she be able to easily trust him again? Hardly. Nevertheless, for the sake of their child, she would try to let go of any ill feelings she held toward him.

Zoe and Langston had a special bond. Ava had witnessed it that morning in Georgetown when the child came skipping into the kitchen. Langston was a wonderful father. He absolutely loved and adored Zoe. And Zoe loved and adored her daddy in return. It would be so wrong of her to taint their loving habitat with bitterness and malice.

For Langston, holding Ava felt so right. He never wanted to let her go. It was as if the last eight years had all been a bad dream. Langston wished that was the case, but it wasn’t. It hadn’t been a dream. This was very real. And now it was time for the two adults in the equation to work out a solution which centered on their child’s wellbeing. However, before this could be done, he realized he had to ask Ava’s forgiveness.

Rubbing his large hands in a soothing motion up and down Ava’s back, Langston let out a deep sigh before he spoke, his tone barely above a whisper. “Ava, do you think you could ever forgive me for what I put you through? For not telling you about Zoe?”

Untangling herself from the warm embrace, Ava immediately felt the rushing chill. She so desperately wanted to go back to her place of comfort. In Langston’s arms the world was at peace. But she needed to break the contact. She needed to look him in the face when she spoke.

She’d struggled with this concept of forgiveness. When the nightmares began to torment her on a frequent basis, she had sought spiritual guidance. Pastor Richardson, during their many sessions, encouraged Ava to forgive herself and those responsible for causing her harm. Intellectually she understood forgiveness was the first step to her healing, but the past had a stronghold on her so fierce it claimed her very soul.

“How, Langston? How can I forgive you when I can’t forgive myself? I hurt so many people.”

Langston kept his eyes trained on Ava as she stood and wrapped her arms around her waist. Moving over to the window, she kept her back to him. She thought she could look him in the face, but she couldn’t. When she looked at him all she could see was the old Langston. The one who had been her everything before he betrayed her.

“After graduation I told my parents over and over again that I couldn’t come home because I was too busy working and studying for my boards. My parents were devastated when they found out I had lied to them about why I couldn’t come home. When they learned the real reason was because I was pregnant and had given their first grandchild up for adoption, they nearly died.” Ava swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to cut off her air supply. Wiping a tear away, she continued. “My father worked hard to give me and my brother everything. And what did I do? I went off to college and ended up pregnant.”

She sensed when Langston came to stand near her. Before he could reach her she turned around. Putting up her hand, she stopped him. “Please, don’t. I’m not finished.”

Langston nodded in understanding as he took his seat. She needed space to reveal her feelings.

Turning back to the window, she continued where she’d left off. “I even lied to my best friends, Summer and Starr. I had so much shame and guilt that I didn’t tell them about Zoe for fear they wouldn’t understand. I denied my child to two women who are my sisters, who would do anything in the world for me if I asked them. They didn’t say anything when I finally told them, but I saw the hurt in their eyes. I know they were wondering how I could keep something like this from them.”

Ava left her place at the window and took a seat next to Langston. This time, she did look him in the eye. “And Zoe, my baby.” Ava didn’t bother to wipe the tear away as it fell. “I feel like she’s been hurt the most by this. I should have been there for her. I should have been the one to give her the first bath, to help her take her first step, to go get her in the middle of the night when she was scared. And God knows I should have been there to protect her from your mother’s wrath.”

Ava let out a deep breath. Softly she admitted, “But I wasn’t.” Searching Langston’s dark gaze, she tearfully questioned in a trembling whisper, “How do I forgive myself for that? How do I forgive you?”

With the pad of his thumb, Langston reached out, wiping away the falling tears. “Baby, you start forgiving yourself by knowing you never stopped loving Zoe and that you’re here for her now.”

When Langston opened his arms to her, without hesitation Ava melted back into his warm, strong embrace.

Rolling over, Ava felt a warm presence next to her. Slowly opening one eye, she peeped at the form. A lazy, drowsy smile touched her lips. She hadn’t noticed when Zoe climbed into bed with her. Usually she was a light sleeper and would have felt the dip of the mattress as the child entered the bed, but that wasn’t the case tonight. Exhaustion had claimed her as soon as she finished helping Zoe bathe and put her to bed. Once her head hit the pillow, she was out. Saying she’d had an emotionally draining day with Langston was an understatement.