Authors: Fern Michaels
Kentucky Heat (34 page)
“Close the door when you leave,” Nealy said quietly, as the nurse settled her in the high hospital bed.
The moment the door closed, Nealy leaned back into the nest of pillows the nurse had created for her. She closed her eyes and longed for the blackness she had slipped into during the past months. How could this have happened to her? How? Just when she'd finally found happiness. Hatch wouldn't want her now. Gabby would be afraid of her. Emmie and Smitty would look at her with pity in their eyes. Nick would hug her and say it didn't matter. Ruby would cry for her and Metaxas would wring his hands and call everyone in the world to come and help her. Could she handle all that? No. The horses would accept her. The workers would pretend not to stare. A superstitious lot, eventually they would say she spooked the farm. They'd talk among themselves, to other men working other farms, and she would be the topic of everyone's gossip.
Under those circumstances, life simply wasn't worth living.
She didn't hear the door open. Didn't hear the footsteps until she sensed their presence. Instinctively her arms went up to shield her face. “How . . . how did you get in here?” she demanded.
“We just walked in. No one stopped us,” Riley Coleman said. He reached up to take her hand away from her face. To his credit he didn't blink; nor did Cole Tanner.
She did cry then. “You should have left me to die. Anything would be better than this.”
“No, Nealy, no. Life is always worth living. It's how you live it that matters. Your family doesn't understand. Hatch doesn't understand. They want to come and see you. Give them a chance, Nealy.”
“That's very easy for you to say. You aren't the one who . . . who . . . looks like a Halloween monster. I guess I should thank you for all you did.” Bitterness rang in her voice.
“Thanks aren't important to us, Nealy. We came to say good-bye. When you go home, I think you'll find it looks pretty much the same. All the horses are safe. You have new barns. The farm is running well. We were glad to help. If you ever need us, call. We are family. You taught us a lesson we'll never forget. What are you going to do, Nealy? Is there anything we can do for you before we leave?”
“I was trying to figure that out when you came in. Today was the first . . . They wouldn't give me a mirror. I didn't know . . . I wasn't prepared . . .” A sob caught in her throat. “I don't want to live like this. I really don't.”
“Plastic surgery and a lot of grit and spunk on your part will go a long way, Nealy,” Cole Tanner said. “There is a very special man I know who lives in Thailand. He's said to be the best plastic surgeon in the world. In the
world
, Nealy. He specializes in reconstructive surgery and even takes on the most hopeless cases. I'm not saying your case is hopeless, I'm just saying he might be able to help you. It's possible he won't be able to. You would have to understand that going in. Do you want me to arrange a consultation for you? I'm sure he would come here. He travels all over the world. I want you to think about it. I'll leave my card on the night table. Call me any time of the day or night. By the way, the doctor's name is Sinjin Vinh. You might want to mention it to the doctors here to see what they have to say. Don't give up, Nealy. Don't ever give up. My grandmother Billie fought to the last ditch. My mother Maggie and Sawyer said you were just like her. To be like her would be the greatest compliment in the world,” Cole said.
world
, Nealy. He specializes in reconstructive surgery and even takes on the most hopeless cases. I'm not saying your case is hopeless, I'm just saying he might be able to help you. It's possible he won't be able to. You would have to understand that going in. Do you want me to arrange a consultation for you? I'm sure he would come here. He travels all over the world. I want you to think about it. I'll leave my card on the night table. Call me any time of the day or night. By the way, the doctor's name is Sinjin Vinh. You might want to mention it to the doctors here to see what they have to say. Don't give up, Nealy. Don't ever give up. My grandmother Billie fought to the last ditch. My mother Maggie and Sawyer said you were just like her. To be like her would be the greatest compliment in the world,” Cole said.
“Thanks . . . thanks for . . . helping me. Emmie told me all you did. We're even now.”
Riley spun around and walked back to the bed. “No. We'll never be even. We'll owe you until the day we die.”
Out in the hall on the way to the elevator, Riley asked, “What was all that shit you were saying back there in the room, Cole? Who is that doctor you were talking about? Jesus God, did you see her face. How can that be fixed? I'll fucking well kick your ass all the way to Japan if you were just mouthing words.”
“I wasn't just mouthing words. I'm not going to wait for Nealy to call me. I'm going to call Sinjin myself. Well, that's not true. I'm going to call Sumi to call him. She's the one who introduced me to him and became good friends with his wife Maline. Sumi does volunteer work at the hospital three days a week. That's how we met him. Do I know if he can help her? No, I don't know that. It's worth a try, isn't it?”
“Anything is worth a try if she's willing to go along with it. I'm thinking in terms of years, Cole. Skin grafts. Surgeries. Healing time. We're looking at years. If what you say is true, let's get this show on the road.”
“And just where do you think you're going?” a belligerent nurse asked. “Did you just come out of Ms. Clay's room?”
“Who? Us? Who is Ms. Clay? We're lost,” Cole said, stepping into the elevator.
Nealy spent the rest of the afternoon agonizing. While she had spoken to her children and Hatch on the phone these past months, she had held firm to the no-visitor rule. Now it was time for a visit. She clenched her teeth at the thought. She knew there was no way to predict their reaction other than to say they would be horrified. Hatch. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how he would look or what he would say. In the end, it wouldn't matter. What mattered was what she had to say and how she said it.
She closed her eyes and hoped that Hunt would enter her dreams and tell her what to do. It didn't happen because she couldn't fall asleep. When the burn specialist and a well-known plastic surgeon checked on her a few hours later she was staring at the card Cole Tanner had left for her.
They talked around her the way all consulting doctors do as they poked and probed and stared at her scars through thick magnifying glasses hooked around their heads. How blank and stoic their faces were.
Nealy waited until they finished making their notes on her chart before she asked, “Do either of you know a Dr. Sinjin Vinh?”
“No,” the burn specialist said quietly.
“I don't know him personally, but I've heard of him,” the plastic surgeon said. “The best in the field. Why do you ask, Nealy?”
“Do you think he could help me?”
“I don't know, Nealy. I've heard he is so much in demand he only picks and chooses the worst cases. The hopeless ones, I'm told. I don't consider you hopeless. I'm told he is scheduled years in advance. If there is a way to schedule a consultation, I'd be all for it.”
Nealy handed the doctor Cole's card. “Send all my medical records to him along with all those pictures you've taken of me to my . . . my nephew. He'll know what to do. When will I be able to travel, and when can I go home?”
“Nealy,” the doctor said gently, “we told you that you could go home two weeks ago. You refused. You said you weren't ready, and since you donated so handsomely to this burn unit, we had no other recourse but to let you stay.” The chuckle in his voice did not go unnoticed by Nealy.
“How long before I'm able to travel? In an airplane? Or on a ship?”
The two doctors looked at one another. The plastic surgeon spoke. “At least another month. I'd recommend a ship as opposed to an airplane flight.”
“Thank you. I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm having visitors this evening. I'll go home tomorrow.”
“In that case I'll get started on your paperwork. I assume you want your records sent by overnight mail,” the burn specialist said.
“That would be helpful. Thank you.”
The two doctors walked down the hallway. “She's too brittle. Too in control. She sees a ray of hope, and that's what she's holding on to. I'd feel a lot better if she had shrieked and wigged out when she looked in the mirror.” The plastic surgeon nodded in agreement.
“I wish she had okayed the counseling we wanted to put in place. She's a very strong, stubborn woman. What amazes me the most is she never cried, she never complained. Not once. What's even more amazing is that she held firm to her no-visitor rule. I try not to get involved, but it's damn near impossible with a case like this,” the burn specialist said. “I better get started on her paperwork. I'm assuming you're going to want to add your input. The last pickup for overnight mail is seven o'clock. You better hit the computer.”
The plastic surgeon nodded as he headed for the doctors' lounge for a cup of coffee. “I'll have it to you by seven.”
“Good.”
In her room, Nealy picked up the phone and called the house. “Smitty, it's Nealy. If you all want to come to the hospital tonight, come along. I'll be coming home tomorrow. Will you tell the housekeeper to get my room ready. Smitty . . . I have to . . . tell you something. First things first. Don't let Emmie bring Gabby to the hospital. I don't want her to get frightened, and she will if she sees the way I look. It's bad, Smitty. Really bad. Today was the first . . . they . . . they . . . what they did was . . . they gave me a mirror. I wanted to die right there. All I could think about was how I could kill myself. I'm going to be scarred for the rest of my life. They talk a lot about skin grafts, plastic surgeries. Years of operations, Smitty. Years. I don't think I can do that. My worst nightmare now is letting Hatch see me. I was wondering if you would . . .”
“No, Nealy. I am not going to say a word to that man. You aren't going to recognize him. I think he's lost fifty pounds. He's drawn and haggard. He doesn't eat or sleep. He lives for those five-minute phone calls you make to him. I know what you're thinking, and I know what you plan on doing. I know you better than you know yourself. He loves you. It isn't going to make a difference. It didn't make a difference with Metaxas and Ruby. What makes you think it will be any different with Hatch?”
“It's my face, Smitty. My face is pulled to the side, my eye droops. My jaw is slack. I look crooked. The scar tissue is welted and ugly. I have bald patches on my head where my hair hasn't grown back in. What I'm trying to tell you is, I'm past ugly. Now do you understand? I don't care about the rest of the scars down my arms and side. I can always cover them up. It's my face for God's sake.” Nealy sobbed. “It's my face, Smitty.”
“Hang up, Nealy. I'm coming to the hospital right now. Don't even think about telling me no. I told you to hang up, Nealy.”
“Okay, Smitty. I'll hang up now.”
Nealy replaced the phone on the night table. All she had to do was wait for Smitty. Smitty was so much like Ruby. They both always said the right thing at the right time. The only problem was this time there were no right words, no perfect timing. She could feel her insides start to shrivel. Don't think about Hatch. Hatch is lost to you. Forever lost the way Hunt is lost to you. Think about Rhy and Pyne. Think about Riley and Cole and all the others who came to rebuild the farm. Did she thank them? She couldn't remember. She had so many people to thank for taking care of her horses and rebuilding her barns. The first thing she was going to do when she got home was to call each and every person to thank them personally.
She stared out the window. The day was almost over, the last of the afternoon sunshine fading to shadows. Her thoughts turned back to Hatch. How noble and gallant would he be? Would he be able to hide his revulsion? Probably. He was, after all, a lawyer, and lawyers were experts at not showing emotion. She closed her eyes and thought about Hunt and their life together.
Nealy's eyes snapped open when she heard loud voices in the hall, one of which was Smitty's. “I'm telling you, Miss Nurse, she asked me to come here. Go ahead, ask her yourself. I'll just wait out here while you're doing that,” Smitty bristled.
“Yes, I did ask her to come. It's all right to let her in,” Nealy said when the nurse poked her head in the doorway.
To her credit, Smitty didn't flinch. Her eyes did fill, though. A moment later she wrapped Nealy in her arms. “My God, girl, how much do you weigh? Seventy-five pounds would be my guess.”
“Smitty . . .”
“Yeah, Nealy.”
“Your best guess. What will Hatch do?”
“He'll probably want to blubber like I do, but he won't. He'll wish it was him instead of you. He loves you, Nealy. You need to give him a chance. How do you want to do this? I'm not going to be coming back this evening because I will have to watch Gabby. Do you want Hatch to come alone and be first or do you want him to come last? Emmie, Metaxas, and Ruby can come together. I say let Hatch come last after they leave. You two will need some private time, and since you're in a private room, he can stay as long as you want him to stay.”
“Okay, last. Take a good look, Smitty, and tell me what you think.”
“It's pretty bad, Nealy. I understand how you feel. We don't love people because of the way they look. Well, maybe some people do, but not our kind of people. I'm sure surgery can take away some of the scarring. They have this medical makeup for burn and scar patients that is supposed to be pretty good. You have good doctors. They'll do what's best for you. Whatever is left over you'll have to suck up. It's called life, Nealy. You play the cards you're dealt.”
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