Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies (21 page)
Read Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies Online
Authors: Trice Hickman
Parker nodded his head again, realizing that because of
who
Victoria was married to, the neighborhood in which she lived was probably of no consequence. “Whose decision was it to move there? Yours or his?” he asked, assuming that more than likely it had been Ted's.
who
Victoria was married to, the neighborhood in which she lived was probably of no consequence. “Whose decision was it to move there? Yours or his?” he asked, assuming that more than likely it had been Ted's.
Victoria knew what he was implying and immediately became defensive. “It was a joint decision.”
Parker was quiet, simply nodding his head yet again in reply to her guarded response.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I didn't say a word.”
“You didn't have to. I know that look. Nodding your head like you know my business.”
Parker chuckled, holding up his hands in surrender. “Don't get salty with me. Obviously, there's some tension behind where you chose to live, and I suspect it's for the same reason I decided not to buy there a few years ago,” he said. “You're living on the âguess who's coming to dinner' block, am I right?”
When Victoria and Ted had first talked about where they would live and raise their children, Ted automatically chose, with good reason, to look in the very best neighborhoods. Victoria knew it was a perfectly normal thing to do, and given the amount of wealth they possessed, it was logical. But the things that Ted had never taken into consideration were the very issues she had been concerned about and had dealt with all her lifeârace and class.
As a white man of wealth and privilege, Ted never gave a second thought to where he lived, worked, or socialized. It was a natural entitlement that had been a part of his constitution; it was a way of life. He never had to worry about how his race would impact his experiences, and he'd taken for granted that his children wouldn't have to, either.
But Victoria knew differently. Even though she had grown up in the vast comfort and privilege of an upper-class environment, she was black, so she understood what it was like to be the only one. And being someone who shared her same skin, no matter the difference in the gradient hue of their complexions, she knew that Parker understood what it was like, too. “Black is black,” her fair-skinned mother always said.
Issues like this made Victoria wonder from time to time how different her life might be if Ted were black. She knew that she wouldn't have to debate the issue of race, and that although being married to a black man wouldn't mean their relationship would be perfect, in a very real and powerful way it would almost guarantee they'd share a common place of understanding.
It was one of the things she admired about Parker. He was secure in his racial identity and knew how to operate in the world based upon it; he was a strong black man. She remembered how he had always taken pride in his African heritage, even if his family wasn't as enamored of their darker roots. The Brightwoods were a color-conscious clan, just as her mother's family had been.
Parker wanted to make sure that his son was secure in who he was, and as he had shared with Victoria over lunch, he'd already taken PJ on a trip to the motherland last year. He was teaching his son about his rich ancestral culture through his extensive collection of African art, authentic masks, and history books on the continent and its people. It was something Ted had never thought to introduce Alexandria to, but then again, neither had she, and for her part,Victoria felt a particular burden of guilt.
She hadn't pushed the envelope on race and culture nearly as much as she thought she should have. Her first real introduction to the complicated waters had surfaced around Jack and Jill, and she saw how that had evolved into a game of push-pull.
Parker could see that Victoria was uncomfortable, and that her mind had wandered off to a distant place. He wanted to kick himself for breaking the seductive mood, which seemed to vanish before he could save it, and he made a mental note not to bring up any subject again that involved her husband. “I made an assumption, and if I was wrong, I apologize,” he offered.
“No need to apologize.”
They stared at each other in silence. Parker reached for Victoria's hand and caressed it, trying to recapture the heat before it was too late. He rubbed the inside of her forearm, sliding his finger across the small scar that stuck out against her smooth skin.
“It's from an IV gone terribly wrong,” Victoria explained, grimacing. “I had complications delivering Alexandria. One of the nurses in training had a little practice on my arm and ...”
“I know... .”
Victoria looked at him, studying his eyes. “How do you know?”
Parker held her hand as he reached back into the past and told her about the nightly visits he'd made to her hospital room after Alexandria's birth. He told her how he had reviewed her chart every night, and that he had asked the staff not to mention his presence. “I wanted to take care of you, but I also didn't want to cause you any troubles. I knew the situation, and all I wanted ... all I prayed for, was for you to get well.”
Victoria didn't know what to say. The memory she had thought was a dream was actually real, and now a very live Parker was standing in front of her, making her desires and fears come to life. “I remember you leaving my room one night, but I thought I had dreamed it.”
“Victoria, I didn't know how to love you the right way back then, and I apologize for that now.”
Victoria stared at him, touched by the thought of Parker's care. He leaned over and kissed her gently as she parted her lips, welcoming his mouth to hers and his hands around her waist. He whispered into her ear. “Let's go to the Mansion on Peachtree.”
Chapter Twelve
Let the Chips Fall Where They May....
A
fter Parker checked into the luxury boutique hotel, he called Victoria on her cell to let her know that he had gotten the room. “I'll be waiting for you,” he said.
fter Parker checked into the luxury boutique hotel, he called Victoria on her cell to let her know that he had gotten the room. “I'll be waiting for you,” he said.
Victoria hung up the phone and closed her eyes, still feeling the warmth of his touch and the revelation he had shared. She knew her connection to him was something that couldn't be denied.
Minutes later, she found herself standing in the elevator, riding up to the tenth floor. Her nerves were tumbling, doing flips and turns.
When she reached the room, she stood frozen in front of the door.
She thought about her life, her marriage, and the little voice inside her head that vacillated between exercising restraint and doing what she wanted. She thought about the weight of the moment and the impact it would have on her future once it ended. She thought about the very real and true desires she had pushed to the back of her heart and mind, fear not allowing her to fully acknowledge her true emotions until now. And she thought about the man on the other side of the door, whom she had loved so deeply in another lifetime.
Her logical mind told her that she was about to cross a line of demarcation that would eventually run wild and jagged. She was debating what to do when the door suddenly opened.
“Come on in,” Parker said, gently taking her hand in his as he led her into the room. “I'm glad you're here.”
“How did you know I was standing outside?”
“I could feel you,Victoria.You're in my spirit.”
“I almost turned away,” she admitted as she allowed him to guide her into the opulent suite.
Parker looked deeply into her eyes. “I know, baby. You were standing out there, wondering and hesitating. But I also know that you want to be with me; otherwise you wouldn't have come here.”
The warmth and sincerity on his face made Victoria feel light-headed. She stood near the edge of the king-size bed, looking down at the elegance of the comforter's muted tapestry and the reach of Parker's hand as he held hers.
“I'm glad you're here,” he repeated.
Victoria looked over at the bed again and shook her head. “What am I doing?” she whispered softly, almost to herself.
“I'll show you.” Parker brought her into his embrace, holding her gently, but firmly. For a moment they stood still, just looking at each other, feeling each other's heart beat, inhaling each other's breath, longing for more.
The intoxicating lust was building in both of them with each second that ticked away.
Let the chips fall where they may,
Victoria thought as Parker's lips met hers. Their hungry mouths began to kiss, while their hands searched each other's body, exploring what was both familiar and altogether new. Victoria enjoyed the softness of his lips, letting his tongue roll around the inside of her mouth. She allowed her body to sink into his as he held her tightly, his hands roaming across the bend of her back and the curve of her hips. He knew how to handle her, and it made her moan as she anticipated the pleasure she was sure would come.
Let the chips fall where they may,
Victoria thought as Parker's lips met hers. Their hungry mouths began to kiss, while their hands searched each other's body, exploring what was both familiar and altogether new. Victoria enjoyed the softness of his lips, letting his tongue roll around the inside of her mouth. She allowed her body to sink into his as he held her tightly, his hands roaming across the bend of her back and the curve of her hips. He knew how to handle her, and it made her moan as she anticipated the pleasure she was sure would come.
Slowly, they removed each other's clothes, reacquainting themselves, standing before one another, naked and exposed.
“I need to see you again,” Parker whispered. “I mean
really
see you,Victoria.”
really
see you,Victoria.”
He backed away to arm's length, making a slow and thorough inspection of the woman he'd been craving. It was a sight he had reminisced about and envisioned many times over the years and now felt honored to see.
He took in the beauty that his eyes had not seen in years, and now he felt as if he was gazing upon her for the very first time. He moved her hair behind her shoulders, gliding his hands across the smooth contours of her collarbone and over the delicate rise of her full, soft breasts. He could see that their perky perfection had diminished slightly, no doubt a combined result of breast-feeding and age. He smiled, letting his fingertips trace the dark outline of her erect nipples as he tweaked them gently, making them stand at attention. He allowed his hands to travel down to her slender waist as he knelt on his knees before her. Slowly, he slid his index finger across the smiley-face-shaped scar that rested below her lower abdomen.
“Yet another memento from my delivery,” Victoria said. “It's my forever reminder of motherhood.” Her waist was still small and trim, but the cesarean cut had left her with an ever so tiny tummy bulge, which one could see only if one was in the position that Parker was enjoying.
Parker nodded and smiled, admiring the full sensuality of what her body had always been, and the new allure of what it had now become. He kissed her stomach, then circled his tongue inside her navel. Victoria let out a small gasp, her legs starting to tremble. He revisited her scar, gently kissing his way from one side of it to the other, letting her know that he appreciated the special brand of beauty that only motherhood could bring to a woman. “You're breathtaking,” he whispered, looking up at her as he licked the wetness that had begun to drip down the inside of her thigh.
Victoria tilted her head back and closed her eyes, holding his head against her dampened skin. She trailed her fingers over the slickness of his freshly shaven scalp, allowing herself to give in to the moment they were about to share.
Parker stood to his feet and led Victoria to the bed, guiding her down to the center of the soft mattress. He lowered himself in front of her, looking into her eyes. She lay back, relaxed, and allowed him to spread her legs, like an involuntary reaction. She took a deep breath, opening herself up to him. They never lost eye contact as Parker began his journey at the meeting of her thighs.
Her body tingled when his mouth covered her moist middle, lapping up her wetness in gentle, hungry gulps. He parted her lips with his fingers, granting him greater access to suck her quivering folds before sinking his tongue deep inside of her. Her initial moments of second-guessing faded away as he removed her doubts with each swipe of his gentle tongue. She could only whimper as he kissed and plied and nibbled away at her sensitive flesh, creating tiny bursts of bright light that made her want to scream out loud as she bucked against his mouth.
Parker licked his lips, savoring the taste of her on his tongue before making his way back up to her hardened nipples. He lightly squeezed one while gently sucking the other, enjoying the feel of a different part of her flesh inside his mouth. Slowly, he parted her thighs with his knee and slipped inside her. This thick fullness made her gasp, satisfying what she had been craving.
“Victoria?” Parker whispered.
She couldn't hear him, because she was lost, caught up in the heat of his passion.
“Victoria ... baby, can you hear me?”
Victoria blinked her eyes several times, until things came into focus.
“Victoria, baby, come inside,” Parker said in a rushed whisper. “This hotel is discreet, but standing out here, in front of my room, isn't a good idea.”
She was still planted in the same spot where she had been frozen for the last ten minutes. The soft caresses and gentle kisses had happened only in her mind. This was déjà vu, reminiscent of the night six years ago when he'd made love to her in a dream. Only this time she was standing in the hallway of an exclusive boutique hotel, instead of in the privacy and comfort of her bedroom.
“Victoria, are you all right?” Parker asked.
“This is a mistake. I shouldn't be here.”
“Let's talk about this inside,” he urged, reaching for her hand.
Victoria moved away. “I can't do this.”
Parker was afraid of this. He had begun to worry when nearly ten minutes went by and she had not shown up. He'd gone to the door and looked out of the peephole, surprised to see her standing there with a blank stare on her face. Now he knew what had caused that look. But he wasn't about to take no for an answer, and he damn sure wasn't going to let this second chance slip away from him.
In a quick move that took Victoria by surprise, Parker grabbed hold of her hand and ushered her into the room.
“Parker, I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have followed you here. And I shouldn't be in this room. I'm sorry, but I have to go.”
“This isn't a matter of shouldn't. We're living in the here and now, and that's why you came here. Victoria, I know you want to be with me.”
“What I want and what I end up doing are two completely different things.”
Parker shook his head, about to say something, but Victoria stopped him. “We rekindled some old feelings that were never put to rest. But we're different people now, with different lives, and new responsibilities.”
“Baby, we may have different lives, but we're the same two people who loved each other then and still love each other now. You can't deny that.”
“I have a husband.”
“Who you never should have married in the first damn place.”
A moment of silence fell between them before Victoria spoke again. “Regardless of what you think about my marriage, the bottom line is that I have a husband who's going to be calling me before I go to bed, probably telling me how difficult it's been for him to be back home knowing that he'll never be able to see his mother again.”
Parker lowered his head and let out a sigh. “I'm sorry about that.” Although Ted was far from one of his favorite people, Parker felt compassion for the man at the thought of him losing his mother, and for that reason he let it go. He watched Victoria as she turned on her heels. “I reserved this room for the entire weekend.You can come back tomorrow.”
She turned around and looked at him. “I'm not coming back. Didn't you hear what I just said?” Victoria asked, staring at him with concern. She knew from past experience how persistent Parker could be, and she didn't want him causing trouble, although she'd already set the stage in that area by what she had allowed to happen. “Parker, I'm already having serious regrets about what we've done.... We can't do this again. I know we're going to run into each other from time to time at events for our kids, so we need to cool it and let this little impulse fade.”
“Impulse?”
Parker placed his arms around Victoria's waist, drawing her in close as he rubbed his pelvis against hers.When she didn't move away or resist, he knew he had her. “You don't mean that,” he said, letting his warm breath coat her neck as he gave her a soft kiss. “I can look into your eyes and tell that you don't believe what you're saying.”
Parker placed his arms around Victoria's waist, drawing her in close as he rubbed his pelvis against hers.When she didn't move away or resist, he knew he had her. “You don't mean that,” he said, letting his warm breath coat her neck as he gave her a soft kiss. “I can look into your eyes and tell that you don't believe what you're saying.”
He found her mouth, parted her lips with his tongue, and held her tightly as he delivered a long, sensual kiss that made her melt. He lifted the front of her dress, slipped his hand down the front of her thong, and inserted two fingers as he massaged her moistness, making her tremble with each stroke of his magic touch. “Let me make love to you, baby.”
“Mmmm,” Victoria moaned. She wanted to resist the thunder raging between her legs, but Parker's skilled fingers were too powerful. His hands were gifted.
He thrust and pumped his fingers inside her as he ravished her mouth and neck with his lips and tongue. He enjoyed the way she ground herself against his fingers as he continued to pleasure her. “I know exactly how you like it, baby. I'm going to make love to you,” he whispered, withdrawing his fingers, bringing them to his mouth so he could taste her.
Parker walked over to the bed, leading Victoria by the hand.
She felt weak, swimming in the way Parker had always known how to excite her. But in the midst of his heat she knew she had to be stronger than the desire below her waist. She wanted him, but she also wanted to be true to Ted, and the very thought of her husband forced her feet to stop before they reached the bed. “Parker, I can't do this,” she said. “I've got to go. This is
such
a mistake!”
such
a mistake!”
“You're killing me slowly. You know that, right?”
“I'm sorry, but I just can't. I've already gone too far.”
“There's no such thing as too far when it comes to you and me.”
Victoria knew that if she stayed a moment longer, she would end up where he wanted her, panting between the sheets. She quickly backed away, walked toward the door, and then stopped. “I'm leaving, and please don't try to call me or get in touch with me ... please. Let's just let this pass.”
“Don't go,” he said.
“I have to.”
Parker paused and took a deep breath. “All right.” He smiled, stepping back. “I'll just wait for you to call me.”
Victoria eyed him with a mixture of contempt and lust. She knew he wasn't trying to be cocky; this was just who he was. He stood before her, looking gorgeous, confident, and dangerous. All she could do was force her feet to move as she walked out the door.
Twenty minutes later Victoria pulled her car into her garage. She walked through her big, empty house, wishing her mind would free her from what she had just done. She'd been fantasizing and secretly wanting Parker for the last six years, and now that she'd had a brief taste of him, she felt a new world of worries flood her soul. “Damn, that old saying is true,” she whispered aloud as she headed upstairs. “When you look for trouble, you find it.”
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