Keeping London (The Flawed Heart Series Book 2) (15 page)

Once the men are laid on gurneys, the medical staff takes over, wheeling them into surgery.

The door to the base hospital shuts, and Cooper and I stand, facing it. Sweat drips from our faces, our chests heave from exhaustion, and blood from the wounded men begins to dry on our skin.

“What a fucked up day,” Cooper grunts out as he raises his arms, entwining his hands around the back of his neck.

I let out a sigh in response.

A medic comes out to ask us all a few questions, and we give our verbal report of the event. Then, we head back to our section of base to shower.

“Do you think they’ll make it?” Cooper asks.

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “I think Ramirez was already gone.” I loathe the words exiting my mouth.

“Johnson was still breathing, but he didn’t look good.” Cooper bows his head with a sigh.

“Fuckers,” I growl, thinking about the Afghan soldiers whom I’ve been helping to train. I wonder if it was someone I knew. I hope it wasn’t because I would hate myself for not being able to see the signs of his dishonesty.

“We should just leave this shithole,” Cooper states, rage lining his voice. “They obviously don’t want us here.”

“I know.” I nod, understanding his anger.

It’s hard to risk your life and to see your brothers lose their lives for a cause that’s often hard to find. I have to make myself remember the kind people I’ve met from the villages—men, women, and children—who don’t want to be any part of the Taliban and the hatred they breed.

The Afghan people in general are very simple. The people in these villages live in another time. It’s like stepping into the 1910s. Most have no electricity in their dirt-floor huts. They are hard workers, growing the plants and raising the animals that they eat. There’s an innocence about them that makes me want to help them. I have to remind myself daily that they aren’t the enemy but the victims in all of this.

I also have to remind myself that if we’re over here, fighting with the enemy, then the enemy isn’t back home, bombing innocent people. Their focus will be on us—the trained military. It’s hard to be here. It’s isolating at times, but I have to keep in mind why we’re here, especially when the
why
is so difficult to comprehend.

After getting cleaned up, Cooper and I walk silently to the chow hall. We received news that neither soldier who was shot made it. It’s definitely the worst day we’ve had since being here.

“A brilliant end to a shitastic day,” I mumble before choking down a piece of lobster.

“It’s like chewing fucking leather,” Cooper complains between bites.

“Only forty-nine weeks to go!” I say with mock excitement, waving my fork in front of me.

“Is that all?” Cooper questions with thick sarcasm.

“Whatever dining contractor is working right now needs to be fired. The food’s been shitty all week,” Smith, a Special Forces brother from our unit, offers from across the table.

He’s a cool guy, quiet for the most part. He lives with his wife in Perrysburg, Ohio.

“Yeah, it has!” Cooper agrees.

“Meat shouldn’t be slimy,” Smith mumbles, stabbing his fork into his lobster.

“Exactly! The breakfast sausage from yesterday slipped down my throat, like it was competing with the German luge team in the Winter Olympics, before I could even think about chewing the fucker.”

A grumble of laughter sounds from the table.

“Well, did it earn a medal?” I ask with a smirk.

“Obviously, you know the Germans and Russians always medal in that event.” Cooper smiles.

Cooper and I have a slight addiction to the Olympics. We watch almost every event the two weeks that it’s on.

“How’s Bethany?” I ask Smith, veering the subject away from slippery breakfast meats.

“She’s great.” His face lights up. “Did I tell you that she found out she was pregnant?”

“No,” Cooper and I answer in unison.

Cooper says, “You all were having trouble in that department, right?”

“Yeah, we’d been trying for a couple of years. Go figure it happens right before I leave.”

“That’s pretty awesome, man. Congrats,” I say. “Will you be able to get home for the birth?”

“Yeah, I’m hoping to catch it. I’m going to plan my mid tour around her due date. So, as long as she doesn’t go real early or late, it should be good.”

“That’s sweet, man. Congrats again,” Cooper says.

Mid tour is a two-week break that we get if we’re deployed for a year or more. I’ve never taken one before because I’ve never had anyone to go home to. I haven’t planned it yet or even told London about it out of fear that something would come up, mission-wise, and it wouldn’t work out. I don’t want to get her hopes up. But I’m really hoping that my schedule permits it this time around.

Back in my room after dinner, I’m thrilled when I see that London is online, and I Skype her.

“Oh my gosh!” Her beautiful face fills my laptop screen as she claps with excitement. “How are you? It’s so good to see you! Wow…you’re growing a beard. Ooh…you’re totally hot with facial hair. What are you up to? How’s Cooper? Are you staying safe? Tell me everything.”

This, right here, London’s beautiful innocence, is exactly what I needed after a day like today. After waking up to a bombing, almost getting shot on a run, watching someone die as I carried his bloody body to the hospital, and the nail in the coffin with the shitty food, this will definitely be going down as one of the worst days in my life. But looking at London’s big brown eyes that haven’t seen the cruelty in the world and her gorgeous smile that radiates naivety and love somehow makes it all better. She makes the horrible circumstances surrounding today bearable.

God, I love her.

“You asked so many questions that I forgot them all,” I kid.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so freaking excited to see you!” She grins wide. “How are you? Are you okay?” Worry clouds her cheerful demeanor.

“Yeah, I’m great,” I lie.

I know that London wants to have a one hundred percent honesty thing going on while I’m here. But that’s actually a horrible idea. The obvious reason is that I can’t tell her much of what happens here anyway, especially if it’s mission-related. Plus, I don’t see the value in telling her all the horrible stuff when there is nothing she can do to make it better, which, in turn, would upset her.

“Are you sure?” Her face tilts, as if she’s studying me on her computer screen, her eyes squinting in question.

“Yeah.” I force my smile to go wider. “Honestly, babe…I’m just a little tired, is all.”

She nods. “I can see that. You look tired. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be heading to bed here shortly. No worries. Tell me, how are you?”

“Great. I’m heading to the airport in an hour. Georgia and I are flying into Kentucky to spend Christmas with our parents.”

That’s right. It’s Christmas Eve.
I forgot, yet the second I woke up this morning, I remembered that it was steak and lobster day.

“That’s great. How long will you be there?”

“I’ll be back in Michigan on the twenty-ninth, so not that long. I wanted to return in time to do something with Paige for New Year’s. Actually, we’re thinking about flying somewhere. Probably somewhere in Cali, so Georgia can join us. This is her first New Year’s being twenty-one, so she can get into a real club. Anyway, I’m bringing my laptop to my parents’, of course, so we’ll be able to chat. We need to plan a time to Skype tomorrow. It is Christmas and all. Do you know your schedule?”

I think about my agenda for the next day. I’ll be free after dinner, so that’s about seven in the evening, which would be ten thirty in the morning for London. “I’m free anytime after ten thirty in the morning, your time.”

“All right. We’ll probably just be finishing opening presents then. So, how’s noon, my time? Will you still be up?”

“Yeah, that works.”

“Great. That will be in between presents and our early Christmas dinner. Everyone kind of does their own thing then, so I can head to my bedroom and give you my complete attention.” London smiles wide.

“Do you have your own bedroom there?”

“Of course. Why do you ask?” London tilts her head to the side, an adorable smile lighting up her face.

“Well, I was talking to Cooper today—”

London cuts me off before I finish my thought, “Interesting because I was talking to Maggie yesterday.” She puckers her lips together.

“Oh, yeah?” I chuckle. “And?”

“She was telling me about a certain Skype activity that she and Cooper do that we have not yet tried.”

“Huh. You know, that’s kind of a coincidence because Cooper was telling me about a Skype activity as well.”

“So, you want to do it tomorrow?” She quirks up an eyebrow and bites her bottom lip.

“It would be a great Christmas present,” I say playfully. “Will that be weird? In your parents’ house?”

“No, believe me, it will be fine. First, my room is on the opposite side of the house of the main living area where everyone will be. Plus, I have a lock. No one will know. It’s a huge house. Seriously, it will be totally great. No worries.” She claps her hands together before yelling, “Oh my God…I’m so excited!”

“You’re so beautiful,” I say with a laugh.

“You know, I’d rather actually be with you on our first Christmas. But, since we can’t, Skype sex is the next best thing. Have you ever done it before?”

“No.” I shake my head.

“Me neither. Another first for us.”

“That, it is.”

“So, what have you been up to? Any exciting plans for Christmas?”

Her deep brown eyes fringed in long black lashes threaten to steal my breath from over six thousand miles away.

I can’t get over how much I love her. I never knew this love, these feelings, were possible. It’s both terrifying and amazing at the same time.

Love…

It’s so strange, surreal, and completely undeniable.

I blink hard, breaking the fog of adoration that had me momentarily paralyzed. “Um, not much. It’s a typical day here. I’m sure the dining hall will serve something ‘special’”—I use air quotes around the last word because
special
is subjective—“for dinner, probably roast beef or something. A change in the food menu is about as much celebration as we get here on base.”

“Are there any bars or anything around, so you can go out and celebrate?”

I shake my head. “No. Actually, there are two general orders on base that must be followed. Number one is, no sex in the AOR, which means Area of Responsibility. So, that’s like the entire base. Number two is, no alcohol. I don’t think the guys in charge think it’s a good idea to have drunk dudes walking around with firearms, you know?”

London nods in understanding. “Oh, yeah. Two very good rules. Not that either applies to you.” She winks.

Man, I wish she weren’t about to leave for the airport because a bout of Skype sex sounds incredible right about now. Seeing her face makes me miss her even more.

“Exactly. You’re not here, and I don’t drink anyway.” I take a moment just to gaze into the screen to take her in. “You know, I’ll probably just go to the gym, hang with Cooper, watch a movie with some of the guys, maybe play some cards, but none of that compares to what I’ll be doing at eight thirty in the evening.” I stare intently.

She squeals excitedly. “Oh, I love you.”

She leans in and presses her lips in front of her laptop’s camera, so all I can see on my end are her plump lips taking up my screen.

“Muah!” she says before blowing me a virtual kiss. “I’ve gotta go, babe, so I don’t miss my flight. I still have to finish packing before I leave.” Disappoint sounds in her voice.

“That’s okay. I’m just so happy that I was able to catch you online. Plus, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Right!”

“All right. Bye, baby. Have a safe flight.”

“I will. You stay safe. I will see you tomorrow.”

She blows another kiss toward the camera before she clicks out of Skype, and I’m left staring at a blank screen.

Well, it was a shitastic day, but at least it ended on a good note. I let the vision of London fill my head as I lie back on my pillow.

Maybe tonight, for once, I can dream of her, of happiness. Though something tells me that’s not going to happen.