Keeper of the Stone (16 page)

Thinking to escape the close confines of the room and the feeling of the walls closing in on her, she decided to go re-introduce herself to the priest who married her and find out when daily mass was offered.  Maybe resorting to her former routine before the war would help her find her center.

Nathan was busy instructing his men and was annoyed at their distraction at the sight of some scene unfolding over his shoulder.  Curious at the cause, he turned to find his wife striding towards the old parish church.  He sighed at the sight of her leaving the keep without an escort and made a mental note to add her lack of care for her personal safety to the list of things he wished to discuss with her.  He motioned for one of his men to follow her and the man bowed and trailed hurriedly after his wife, who seemed oblivious to his protection.

Rhiann entered the sanctuary of the small church and tears filled her eyes at the hushed quiet of the interior.  Dwarfed by the abbey still under construction which was originally undertaken to serve the needs of her former Saxon king, she was nonetheless aware of the sacred aura emanating from the more humble altar in comparison to its exalted neighbor’s.  She stepped quietly forward, kneeling with her head bowed before she approached the front of the church.  Genuflecting beside one of the pews, she knelt on the wooden kneeler and bowed her head before her creator, her thoughts in turmoil.  She wasn’t adjusting very well to her new status in life.  She imagined God was on Nathan’s side in their dispute.  He was a man, after all.

“Daughter.”  The tears she held back until now streamed down her face as she lifted her head to the altar at the gentle call to her heart.

“I’m sorry.”  Her whispered prayer emanated more from her heart than her lips.  No sound of her heartfelt regret disturbed the reverent silence of the church.

“Daughter, you misjudge me.  Do you think I am unaware of your sufferings?  Do you believe I don’t feel your grief in my heart?”

“They’re all gone.  You took them away from me.”  She poured out her complaint, even knowing she had no right to question God.

“And you think I did this to punish you?”

Rhiann drew a deep breath and brushed aside her tears.  “No, of course not.”

“Are you not pleased with the husband I chose for you?”

The tears fell faster.  “Yes, but I do not know how to be a good wife to him and there is no one left to instruct me.”

“I am here.”

“You have more important matters to see to.”

“There is nothing more important to me than my children’s happiness.”

Rhiann fell silent wondering how that could possibly be true. She wouldn’t ask. She figured she’d done enough challenging of her lords this morning, both her husband and her God. In the silence that fell between them she could hear the sounds of children playing in the small courtyard of the church outside the windows.  Even though they were orphaned in the war, she knew they were the lucky ones.

Father Bernard had generously taken them in.  What about all those who were displaced in the war who didn’t have a Father Bernard to see to their needs?  The priest was an old man.  What if he was called away by his superiors in the church? Who would see to the children?  Who would make sure they were fed and warm and had some place to go?

“Try to have some faith in me, daughter.”

Even though His rebuke was a gentle one, she was overset by it. She felt as though every door of her old life was slamming shut on her. She couldn’t seem to find her place in this new Norman world.  She was unused to having so much unstructured time on her hands.  She knew Nathan was being considerate of her by not asking anything of her beyond catching up on her rest, but she needed to find some sound footing in this new order and knew she was unlikely to find it resting in her husband’s bed.

She was distracted from her self-pitying musings by the renewed sound of children’s laughter reaching her through the heavy doors of the church.  The joyful noise only served to emphasize her dissatisfaction with herself.  These children lost everything and yet they could still laugh with their friends and find joy in a new day. 

It was time Rhiann took a lesson from the children.  She would stop bemoaning what she could never have again and take a positive step into her new life. She was the mistress of Heaven’s Crest now.  She would have responsibilities to see to when Nathan was released from the king’s service and they returned home.  For now, she would do what she could to begin fulfilling those responsibilities.  The first of them was to speak to Father Bernard about the children’s needs and see what she could do to ease them.

The elder priest’s gentle manner was a balm to her shattered spirit.  Rhiann spent the afternoon with Father Bernard discussing the charitable needs of the children and those left homeless by the invasion.  She was overwhelmed by the list of essentials the old priest rattled off.  Normally she would have promised to help, but she no longer had access to Heaven’s Crest’s accounts and since Nathan made it perfectly clear he considered her nothing more than his property, she was hesitant to make any promises in his name.

Her eyes took in the wretched looking crowd gathering for the midday meal. She saw a young mother nursing her infant, dressed in little better than rags.  She inquired as to her story of Father Bernard and he shook his head, confiding quietly.

“Her name is Willa. She is the widow of a Saxon soldier who died before his son was birthed.  Their cottage was destroyed in the invasion.  She has no place to go.  Like all of those gathered here in God’s house.  They are here because they have no place else to go.” 

Rhiann nodded, thinking how ill-used she felt by her change in fortunes at the Norman invasion.  Yet here she stood dressed in a fine gown and warm cloak with a wonderfully patient, gentle lover, a live husband, and still mistress of her former home.  She stood and removed her cloak and pressed it into Father Bernard’s reluctant hands.  “Please Father. I have little else to offer, but will you give this to Willa?”

The priest accepted her offering, blessing her for her generosity.  Rhiann wasn’t sure how to respond other than to thank him as graciously as she could.  She felt even guiltier about the earlier scene she instigated with her husband and promised herself she would apologize for her shrewish behavior at the earliest opportunity. 

In the meantime, she was determined not to try Nathan’s temper further by being late for dinner at the king’s table. After assisting Father with his youngest charges, she exited the small church.  She was surprised at the chill air after the relative warmth of the church and rubbed her arms against the cold, even while at the same time refusing the cloak Nathan’s soldier tried to wrap around her soldiers, not wanting to deprive the man of its warmth.

She caught sight of her husband striding towards her and cringed at the sight of the dark expression on his face, concluding he was still angry with her from earlier. Bowing her head as a good submissive wife would, she halted in the middle of the courtyard and waited for him to approach. She felt the warmth of his massive cloak wrap around her though his hands were gentle as he tucked the ends close around her and then pulled her towards him. His tenderness was in direct contrast to the harshness of his voice as he berated her.

“Where is your cloak, wife? Are you determined to end your life by freezing yourself to death now I’ve taken possession of your sacred dagger?”

Rhiann remained quiet, staring down at the ground between them.  She was uncertain if Nathan was expecting her to answer him or not, so she concluded the safer bet was for her to remain silent.

“Well wife?  Where is your cloak?  You were wearing it when you left the keep.”

Abruptly realizing her mistake Rhiann’s face flushed with fear and embarrassment at her husband’s angry tone.  “I’m sorry, Nathan. I forgot it was your property.  I gave it to one of the woman at the church.  She lost everything in the war and had no cloak of her own to keep her warm.  I cannot ask for it back.  I don’t know how I’m to repay you.”

Nathan’s head started aching with the effort of trying to make sense of his wife’s tearful confession.  He finally abandoned the effort and simply asked for an explanation. “What are you talking about?”

“I gave away your cloak.”

He could barely make out his wife’s whispered admission, but he was no less confused by the explanation she offered. “‘You’re wearing my cloak.”  He thought he sounded foolish pointing out the obvious, but he discovered over the course of his very brief marriage nothing was obvious where his wife was concerned.

“Yes, but I gave away the one I was wearing.  It belonged to you.  Don’t you remember?”

A glimmer of understanding was beginning to seep through the wall of confusion his wife erected around herself.  He sighed his frustration.  “Rhiann, if you are going to keep track of every ridiculous thing I say in the heat of anger to throw back in my face at a saner moment, you’re going to need an excellent memory.”

Her shocked expression brought a grudging smile to his face. “Ridiculous?  But Nathan you said…”

He held up his hand not wanting to be reminded of the unpleasant scene between them earlier.  “Forgive me, wife.  It was not my intent to insult your sacred family traditions.”

“You’re apologizing to me?” Rhiann whispered appalled.  “But I should be apologizing to you.  I challenged you before your king.”

“Yes, you did.”

Rhiann was puzzled by his calm demeanor as she reminded Nathan of her transgressions. “There were other witnesses as well.”

“Yes.”  Nathan decided against letting her off the hook too easily.  Her sins had been serious enough to warrant his displeasure. 

“I thought you were going to strike me.”  She confessed tearfully.

“The thought did cross my mind.”

Rhiann took a hasty step backward. 

Seeing her fear was real, Nathan made no attempt to stop her retreat.  “The fear I see in your eyes is an insult to me, Rhiann.  Do you not remember my promise to you?”

Her hands were shaking.  Rhiann wasn’t sure if it was from the cold air or the cold tone of her husband’s voice.  “Which one?”

For a moment Nathan thought his wife was mocking him, then noted her anxiety and concluded her concern was real.  “I promised I would never hurt you.”

She nodded; assuring him she remembered his promise.  “But you broke your promise to me, Nathan.  Don’t you remember?”  Then added quickly at his dark expression.  “The other night…”

When his wife’s voice trailed off and a hot blush heated her face, Nathan realized she was referring to their wedding night. He lifted her chin with his hand so she would be forced to meet his glance.  “I explained why I had to hurt you the other night.  Did you expect me to live as a monk in my own home forever?”

Her blush grew fiercer and she quickly dropped her eyes back to the ground between them.  “But you were angry with me.”

“On our wedding night?  I assure you Rhiann the last thing I was feeling that night was anger.”

“No, not then.” If her face got any redder, Nathan might not be able to restrain the urge to laugh, and no doubt once again bruise his wife’s foolishly delicate feelings.  “Not that night.  Earlier when I challenged you before your king.”

“Our king.”  When she merely shrugged away his automatic correction, he added, “And you believe I would abandon my honor in a fit of temper?”

“You confuse me, Nathan,” she whispered finally.

“It pleases me we are both suffering from the same condition.”

She raised her head at the amusement she heard in his voice, her eyes wide, her expression confused.  “You’re not angry with me anymore?”

“Apparently not,” he conceded with a sigh.  He removed her grandmother’s dagger from his belt and held it out to her hilt first.  She made no move to accept it, just stood their regarding it and then him with a puzzled expression on her face.  Sighing he reached down for her hand, held it out in front of her, then placed the dagger in it.  She raised wide eyes to his face. 

Next he reached into the pouch at his belt, removed the unusual stone and its thin silver chain, and then placed it around her neck.  His lips curved at how the lifeless stone took on new life as soon as it was returned to its proper place.  He shook his head at the fanciful thought and raised his eyes to his wife’s incredulous expression.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was a hushed whisper.

“I’m returning your property to you, wife.”

“My property?  But you said…”

“I know what I said, Rhiann, but I also recall neither asking for nor demanding you hand over your grandmother’s dagger and the stone around your neck.”

“I don’t understand, Nathan.”

He forgot how young she was.  She appeared intent on giving every word out of his mouth its literal interpretation.  He grinned down at her puzzled expression, took the dagger from her hand, slipped it into the leather strap on her arm, then took her hand and began leading her back to the keep.

Rhiann hurried to keep up with her husband, doing her best not to stain his fine cloak with the mud and dust from the ground.  “Nathan, but what about my cloak?  How am I to repay you for it?  I don’t have any funds.  Everything is yours now.”

He lifted his eyes to heaven seeking the blessing of a little added patience he was certain before he met his wife he possessed in abundance, then stopped and turned towards his confused wife, lifting her face to his.  “Rhiann, nothing has changed for you, at least from a financial perspective.  Did you have access to your father’s funds?”

She nodded and confided, “He was most generous with us.”

Curious, Nathan asked, “And what did you do with these funds?”

“We saw to the needs of the villagers.  Father said it was our responsibility to see to their needs and ease their burdens when we could.”

He brushed his thumb across his wife’s soft lips, resisting the urge to kiss her.  “So you thought to ease the burdens of the refugees under Father Bernard’s care?”

She nodded.  Her voice grew a little breathless at his nearness.  “Willa didn’t have a cloak.  Her husband died in the war.  He didn’t even live long enough to see his infant son birthed.  She lost everything and now she has an infant son to care for.”