Keep You From Harm (20 page)

I decide to play along. “No. Do you think I should?”

He nods. “Definitely. He needs to be taken down a peg.” Then a tall blonde ambushes Chad from behind, wrapping her arms around him. “Hey, baby,” he croons to her.

She sticks her tongue in his ear. “Let’s go find a bedroom.”

With that, I’m forgotten. Chad turns and leads her away.

Lucas is growing angry as he stands guard over Jarvis with his arms crossed. “If this is going to take a while, we can talk to you here,” he says in an unnecessarily loud tone.

Jarvis straightens and releases out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. Let’s go outside.”

He turns and heads for the back of the porch. Lucas is right behind him as Jarvis pushes through a door and disappears into the darkness.

I’m afraid he’s going to try to run, but when I get outside, I see him standing calmly in the grass, watching our approach. We stop in front of him and Lucas turns to me, waiting for me to say something. I don’t hesitate. I’ve wanted to talk to him for too long. “Do you know who I am?” I ask.

His eyes travel down my body. “Should I?” he responds with a lascivious grin.

I can feel Lucas tense beside me, and I decide to get to the point. “Look, I saw you in San Diego back when I lived there with my mom. I saw you talking to Apollo one day in front of our building. I also know you work as a janitor at the nursing home where my grandmother lives. There is no way that’s all coincidence. I don’t want to get you in trouble or anything, but I would really like to know what you were doing in San Diego.”

Jarvis glances between Lucas and me. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Dude, your girlfriend isn’t playing with a full deck.”

Lucas gets in his face. “We know you were there. We just want to know why. So cut the bullshit.”

Jarvis scowls and pushes Lucas away from him with a hand to his chest. Lucas narrows his eyes at Jarvis, and the tension immediately thickens.

Before Lucas can go after him, I move between them. “Please, won’t you just tell me if someone in my family sent you to find me and my mother? I won’t say anything to anyone. I promise you. I just need to know.”

He looks me over again. “I’m not telling you shit. Your whole family is crazy. Your grandmother, your mother, and from what I see, you’re no different.”

My blood runs cold. “My mother? What do you know about my mother?”

“I’m done with your family. You need to leave me the fuck alone now.” He scowls and tries to walk around us.

Lucas steps in front of him and Jarvis’s fist connects with his jaw. I gasp as Lucas’s head snaps back. But he quickly shakes it off, and with a roar, he’s on Jarvis, slamming him down onto the grass, pounding on his face. People rush past me and begin pulling Lucas off him. As soon as a struggling Lucas is yanked up, Jarvis gets to his feet and stumbles back. He’s spitting mad as he stands and wipes the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand. Lucas seems fine, but Jarvis’s face is a bloody mess. Abruptly, Jarvis turns and begins storming away, into the next yard.

“Wait!” I yell. I need to know how he’s involved with my family, with my mother. I start to go after him, when Lucas grabs my arm. I struggle to pull away from him as I watch Jarvis disappear. “Let go of me!”

“There’s no point. He’s not going to tell us anything.”

“But he knows something. He’s involved with my family somehow.”

Lucas grabs my waist with his other hand, trying to turn me around. “Listen to me. We need to talk.”

I spin angrily but abruptly stop when I see his bottom lip and the right side of his face are beginning to swell. The fight flows out of me, and I wince at the sight of him. “He landed a pretty good punch.”

“And I returned the favor. Come on, Ray. Let’s go.”

I nod and let him lead me past the curious people still milling around and wondering what the fight was about. We go around the side of the house to get to the main road where Lucas’s truck is parked. My adrenaline is still pumping and we both move quickly. “What if he tells whoever hired him that I came looking for him?” I ask breathlessly. Cars still line the road, but it’s quieter now. I only hear a dog’s bark echoing in the distance as we reach the truck.

Lucas lays his hands on my shoulders and turns me to him. “You’re asking the wrong question. You should be asking why Jarvis was so defensive and determined to keep his mouth shut. If he was only sent there to find you or to get information about you, why would he react that way to us?”

My muscles tense as I begin to comprehend his implication. But I don’t want to let my thoughts go there. It’s too terrible to consider. I immediately begin shaking my head at him.

My denial doesn’t deter him. “Just think about it. It’s not a crazy conclusion to draw here.”

I step away, but he stays with me. I keep moving until my back hits the side of his truck. His hands move down to my arms and I stare into his sharp blue eyes. They’re dead serious and intent on mine.

“You think he killed my mother,” I whisper.

He doesn’t answer. We both know that’s what he means.

“But why?” I ask. “Why would he do it? Why would anyone in this town want her dead? She’s been gone and out of their lives for almost twenty years.”

“What was the result of her death?” he asks.

I blink my eyes and feel the tears trailing down my cheeks. “It brought me here,” I reply reluctantly. Even as the words leave my lips, I’m screaming inside that it’s just not possible. “Kyle couldn’t do that. He couldn’t kill our mother. Just to bring me here? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Lucas’s hand reaches up, and he swipes at my cheek with his thumb. “Maybe it wasn’t Kyle. Maybe it was your grandmother. Maybe she had a moment of clarity and set this in motion.”

“No. She didn’t even know I existed.”

“What about Alec?”

I immediately rule him out, too. “What would his reason be? He went this long without getting his divorce, and I can’t think of any other reason he’d want her gone or want me here.”

Visions of walking into our kitchen and finding my mother, her head surrounded by her own blood are all I can see as we argue about her killer. It’s the same scene I’ve revisited many times both awake and asleep, except now, my body starts to tremble as I see Jarvis there, too, his arms raised, ready to land a killing blow.

“I didn’t know you were the one who found her,” Lucas says, his voice thick with emotion, and I realize I must have said at least some of that out loud as he pulls me to him.

“I tried to bring her back.” I reach up and clutch his shirt in my hands, needing to hold on to something. “After everything she warned me about, I still put my hand on her and tried. But her skin was already cold. I was too late.”

His fingers run up and down my back in a slow, soothing pattern. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

I lean into him. I thought I was okay, but I had no idea how much I needed this comforting. I stay this way, close to him, and I let myself feel my grief, knowing that I’m in a safe place. My whole life, I’ve never felt as safe as I do when I’m with him. It’s okay to let myself fall apart a little, because if I have Lucas, I’ll be able to put myself together again when I’m ready. His warmth seeps into me, and I begin to relax in his arms. I’m not sure how long he holds me this way before my soft crying finally quiets. But he doesn’t release me. He continues to keep me close as my grief starts to change into something else. I become all too aware of his hard muscles pressing against my chest and stomach. His lips are beside my ear, and I know I only have to turn my head a fraction to receive the kiss I’m now craving. But I can’t use him that way. I can’t let my emotions unravel me and mislead him when I know I’m not ready to jump into something with him again. I regretfully pull back and try to think reasonably about what happened here tonight.

“Rob Jarvis may be her killer, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t go to the police with just my suspicion, can I?” I ask, releasing his shirt and looking up at him.

He shakes his head, agreeing with me. “I don’t think I want you going back to Kyle’s house,” he says.

“What choice do I have? Where else would I go?”

He has no answer. He doesn’t offer his house, and we both know why.

“Kyle won’t hurt me,” I reason. “Somehow, I just know that. I feel like we’re missing something here. To find out what that is, I need to go back and act like everything is normal.”

He lets out a frustrated breath and runs his hands through his hair. “There’s a problem with your plan if Jarvis tells them we’ve just confronted him, and they start to worry about what he might have told us.”

“He said he was done with my family. I don’t think he’ll go running to them now.”

Lucas eyes me, seeming torn. “Look, if you go back, I need a way to make sure you’re okay.” He thinks for a moment. “We’ll leave our phones on. We’ll keep a call connected all night and if anything happens, I’ll hear it.”

I appreciate the gesture, but it seems a little extreme. “Leave our phones on all night?”

He nods. “I have to know you’re okay, Ray.”

Then, unexpectedly, he moves forward, pinning me against the truck. I inhale sharply as his body presses into mine. He leans his forehead against me. I can feel his warm breath on my face. I freeze when his lips whisper across my cheek. He stays this way, crowding me, surrounding me. Every place his body touches mine feels like it’s on fire. My heart begins a punishing rhythm. It seems like forever, waiting for his next move, wondering if he’ll kiss me, needing him to. Finally, he does, hesitantly at first as though he’s waiting to see if I’ll stop him. When I don’t, the sudden pressure of his lips against mine feels so perfect that I moan softly. He hears it, and now he has all the encouragement he needs. He deepens the kiss, instilling it with all his pent up want and desire as his tongue caresses mine. I’m still braced against the truck, my back digging into its hard surface. But I hardly feel it. I only feel how much Lucas wants me, and underneath it, I also feel a dull pain, his pain. I reach my arms up to wind them around his neck. I gather my energy, letting it build, before sending it out to him. I can feel the moment it reaches him. He stills, and I know the swelling in his face is already diminishing.

“Ray,” he breathes his nickname for me, and he kisses me again, but this time it’s harsher, more demanding. The weight of his body, molded to mine, is making me crazy. An aching need grows deep within me. His hand moves down my side, and he grasps the back of my thigh, pulling my leg up, and hitching it around him. When he presses his hips against my mine, I fist my hands in his hair and gasp at the pleasure that moves through me. His warm fingers are beneath my sweater now, sliding against my exposed skin, and suddenly it just isn’t enough. I want his hands on me everywhere. My whole body is aching for him.

“Get a room!” someone yells. Then I hear peals of laughter pass by.

We both hear it, but it takes a moment to sink in. We’re standing in the middle of the street, and Lucas nearly has my sweater pushed up to my shoulders, but I shamelessly continue kissing him. Finally, he has the presence of mind to slow us down. He eases away from me, gently lowering my leg and smoothing my sweater back into place. My breathing is heavy in my ears, and I can see his chest rising and falling as he brings himself under control. My eyes slowly focus on him. Calm and cool Lucas looks as shattered as I feel.

His hand reaches up to explore his now perfectly healed cheek and lip. “Thanks,” he says with a disbelieving smile, like he’s still getting used to what I can do.

“My pleasure,” I grin back, surprised that I can manage a grin after everything that happened tonight.

“Mine, too. That was some kiss,” he says slyly, running his fingers over his lips. But then his eyes regain their focus, and they sharpen on me. He takes a breath before he says, “Look, I need to know we’re on the same page here. I don’t want to see you in school tomorrow and be back to square one. I’m not fighting this anymore. Are you?”

His voice holds a challenge, like he’s daring me to deny what’s between us. But I can’t imagine fighting it now either, not after what just happened. Doing so would be dishonest because he’s already won my trust again. It’s only my fear holding me back now. But I don’t want to give into fear anymore. “No.” I shake my head, still feeling overheated.

“Good,” he nods, looking relieved.

Then I remember the way he walked up to me in school and threw a possessive arm around me the day after our driving lesson. I recall the unwanted attention it brought me, and then the sympathy I got from Gwen when it ended so quickly. I would really rather not deal with either of those reactions again.

“But in all honesty Lucas, I don’t want the drama that public displays of affection will bring us. I’m not really into that anyway. So, maybe we could just play it kind of cool when we’re in school,” I suggest.

Lucas does not look pleased with my request. But then he smirks at me. “It might also put a crimp on your lesbian lifestyle. You want to explain that one?”

I sigh, still feeling badly for lying. “I wanted Chad to stop asking me out, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So, I told him I was a lesbian.”

He tries not to laugh, but some chuckles slip out. “And he believed you?”

I nod, unable to prevent my own embarrassed smile.

“About Sophie,” he begins, running a hand down his rough cheek as his good cheer evaporates. “She thinks I’m taking her to the prom.”

“I know.”

He seems surprised at first, but then he just nods. He’s probably assuming I heard it through the busy school grapevine. “I’m going to tell her that I can’t go with her. I want to go with you if you’ll let me take you.”

This is what I thought I wanted, to go to the prom with Lucas. But accepting this way doesn’t feel right. I spent most of my life with a woman who was incapable of following through on anything. In an effort to be nothing like her, I’m pathologically determined to honor my commitments. I need to know Lucas is someone who believes in doing that, too. Besides, this afternoon I overheard Sophie talking to a group of girls about how she’s been looking forward to her senior prom since her first day as a freshman. As much as I would enjoy dressing up and spending a romantic evening with Lucas, the prom itself holds no real significance for me. If I hadn’t moved here, I’m sure Lucas and Sophie would be going to the prom together. I’m also pretty sure Hailey started the Chad rumor, not her. If Lucas cancelled on her now, it would be a real slime ball move, and I don’t want to be the reason behind it.

I brace myself for his reaction. “You told her you would go. I think you should take her as planned.”

He doesn’t disappoint me with his incredulous expression. “You want me to go with Sophie?”

“No, of course not. But it’s not right to back out.”

He blows out a frustrated breath. “I always wanted to go with you. I was going to ask you, but I was still trying to get you to forgive me. Then Sophie told me you were going with Chad, and I was pissed about it. That’s when I said I’d go with her. It was never some romantic proposition.”

“I was never going with Chad.”

His face fills with regret. “I know that now. Both Myles and Gwen told me.”

I hold firm. “But still, you said you’d take Sophie. So, you should.”

He shakes his head and laughs in disbelief. “Jesus, Ray. Are you seriously this selfless or are you still punishing me?”

I cross my arms and direct my eyes down to the sidewalk. I’m surprised by how much that hurt. It suddenly feels like he doesn’t know me at all. “I’m not punishing you, Lucas.”