Read Keep You From Harm Online
Authors: Debra Doxer
“Morons,” Lucas mutters.
“Dangerous ones,” I add. “Grady’s in my art class. He drew a lewd picture the other day. I think he freaked the teacher out.”
“Did he freak you out, too?” He arches a brow at me.
“Yes,” I reply. “The thought of Grady having sex and possibly procreating does freak me out.”
Lucas laughs, and it’s a deep rumbling sound that vibrates through me. Smiling, I let my eyes travel over the contours of his face, following the defined line of his jaw, darkened by stubble, as it disappears into the shiny waves of his overgrown hair. Then I follow the curve of his shoulder down to where it widens into his bicep and then tapers into a forearm corded with muscle. When my gaze settles on the strong hand that grips the steering wheel, I think of that hand on my skin, of his long fingers touching me. Just then, he glances at me and my eyes flick up to his. Despite the darkness, I recognize the look I see on his face because I’m sure it mirrors my own.
Desire
.
When Lucas turns back toward the road, his eyes widen. “Fuck!” he yells and hits the brakes, throwing his arm out in front of me to hold me against the seat. Startled, I peer out the windshield and see Grady’s Mustang sitting across the middle of the road. The front of the car is folded in on itself like an accordion.
Lucas maneuvers the truck over to the side, and I see the guy who stuck his head out the window stumble around the car and drop to his knees. His face is covered with blood. “Call an ambulance,” Lucas orders as he jumps out and rushes over to the Mustang.
With a shaky hand, I dial 911 and give them our location, explaining what happened. Then I get out, too, and approach the car. Lucas is on the other side, trying to pry open the driver’s side door.
“I smell gasoline. Get back!” Lucas yells to me.
Feeling my body fill with adrenaline, I run the final few yards to the car. When I reach the guy on the ground, a burst of bright energy flows through me, but I continue past him. Peering through the window, I see Grady slumped over the wheel.
“I said get the hell away!” Lucas reaches in through the open driver’s side window, trying to get a grip on Grady. The door itself is bent, and I figure he can’t get it open. I watch as he gives up and runs around to the other side where I’m standing. The passenger door swings open easily, and Lucas begins to pull Grady out that way. I move beside him and reach in to dislodge Grady’s heavy boot, which is wedged beneath the steering wheel. “There’s someone in the back, too,” I tell Lucas. He grunts under Grady’s heavy weight, finally pulling him free and laying him on the pavement.
When I push the front seat forward and reach in toward the person in the back, he moans and begins to sit up. I startle when Lucas’s arm winds around my waist and hauls me backward, wordlessly setting me aside as he leans in to grab the last person. I move back to the first guy still in the road. I put a hand beneath each of his arms and start trying to pull him away from the car. The smell of gasoline is strong, and I can hear liquid dripping onto the ground from beneath the Mustang.
I pull with more urgency, and the moment my fingers graze his bare skin, there’s nothing I can do to stop the pull his injuries have on me. As we’re moving, my fingers remain on the skin of his arms and his bleeding head is lolling across my stomach. I know I’m healing his wounds; the head gash, some broken ribs and internal bleeding. I feel lightheaded and energized as I lay him down gently and release him. He’s already sitting up, looking around, seemingly confused.
I turn and notice Lucas struggling to pull Grady away from the car. The third person is moving on his own, looking stunned. When I reach Lucas to help him with Grady, I freeze. Grady is badly hurt. Blood is leaking from his ear. The front of his forehead appears dented in. He’s fighting for his life. I know I can’t touch him. I can’t risk healing someone who isn’t meant to recover. Just as I back away, I hear the sirens approaching. I’m fighting my natural instinct, and it’s turning on me with a vengeance. I move further and further away, all the way back to Lucas’s truck. I lean against the front grill, watching through a haze of misery, as Lucas talks to the paramedics who have just arrived. My skin breaks out in a cold sweat, and I sink down onto my knees. The guy I healed is stomping around now, yelling at the paramedic who is trying to look at him. I hear more sirens and watch as a fire truck arrives. The night is lit with strobing red lights and dense with static-laced voices streaming over radios.
The front of the Mustang emits a loud crack just before it bursts into flames. I hear more hollering and watch as Lucas suddenly appears frantic, his eyes darting around the scene. When his panicked gaze lands on me, his relief is clear. He rushes over, brushing past the firefighters and their heavy gear. I watch as they spray white mist at the car.
Lucas crouches down in front of me. “Are you okay?” he yells over the noise around us. His face is shiny with perspiration, and his grey shirt is spotted with blood.
I nod and watch as his eyes travel over me and widen. When I look down, I realize that I’m soaked in blood. “I’m fine,” I tell him.
He lowers himself to the ground and pulls me into a tight embrace. From over Lucas’s shoulder, I see them wheeling Grady away on a gurney. Once he disappears inside the ambulance, my body begins to settle down. My senses clarify again as the haze clears, and I lean into Lucas, feeling his arms tighten around me.
“Why didn’t you stay away from the car like I asked?” he says beside my ear.
I pull back and stare into his eyes. “That’s a seriously stupid question.”
He nearly smiles as he cups my cheek in his hand. Then he slowly lifts me to my feet. “They told me the police have some questions for us,” he says.
We both turn when the paramedic who was arguing with Grady’s friend walks by. “He’s fine. I don’t know where all the blood came from,” he tells the other paramedic.
The same friend then approaches us. “Grady is so dead,” he says, shaking his head. “His parents are gonna shit a brick when they see his car.”
“Un-fucking-believable,” Lucas mutters, taking my hand and pulling me away from him.
Over the next half hour, we stay at the scene and answer questions for the police. Despite the denials of drinking we hear from both of Grady’s passengers, Lucas and I tell the officers the truth. We’re exhausted when they inform us that we can go.
“Our first date didn’t exactly go the way I planned,” Lucas frowns as we’re approaching Kyle’s house. “I guess I lied when I said you wouldn’t go hungry on my watch.”
“That’s okay. I kind of lost my appetite.”
When Lucas parks, Kyle storms through the front door, and he marches toward the truck. “I said ten o’clock, Raielle. Do you know what time it is?”
Lucas jumps out and walks around to meet Kyle. At the same time, I open the door and lower myself down. Kyle’s eyes widen with shock when he sees us. “What on earth happened?”
“We came across a car accident on the way to dinner. We stopped to help,” Lucas explains as Kyle stares at my bloody shirt. I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin if I don’t get these clothes off me soon.
“Are you both all right?” Kyle asks, his gaze jumping between us.
“We’re not hurt,” I reply. “Just really wiped out.”
“Come inside,” Kyle puts his arm around me. “Goodnight, Lucas,” he says dismissively.
Lucas seems torn, like he doesn’t want to leave me. I’m about to protest Kyle’s treatment of him, but Lucas shakes his head, stopping me. Then he tells me goodnight before getting back into his truck.
“You could have been nicer to Lucas,” I say as we’re walking inside. “What happened wasn’t his fault.”
“We’ll talk about him later. Let’s get you changed, and then you can tell me what went on tonight.”
I stand under the shower watching the red water pool at my feet before it finally runs clear again and disappears down the drain. I think of our kitchen table and the last time I saw so much blood. It wasn’t a hard decision not to heal Grady tonight. I have no emotional ties to him. But what if I’d returned home that day just a little earlier, while my mother was still breathing, while there was still time to do something? After all she’d told me about not changing fate and not playing God, I would have disregarded it all to save her. Let the consequences be damned. I never understood why the need to heal would still be so strong when I couldn’t use it. If a person was meant to die, why did every part of me still want to heal them so badly?
When I emerge from the shower, Kyle and Chloe are waiting in the kitchen with a cup of tea. I’m beyond exhausted, and the last thing I feel like doing is reliving the evening by talking to them about it. I toss my balled up bloody clothes into the trash before sitting down with them. I don’t touch the tea, and I give them the briefest account possible. Finally, Kyle reads my mood and tells me to just go to bed, adding that I don’t have to go to school tomorrow if I’m not up to it.
When I retrieve my phone from my bag to charge it, I see there’s a text from Lucas waiting for me.
U okay?
I text back.
Yes. U?
Good. Grady’s an idiot but I hope he’s ok.
Me 2.
Get some sleep, beautiful. Goodnight.
I stare at his text for a long time before I respond.
Goodnight.
“H
ow
are you feeling this morning?” Kyle asks.
I’m surprised to see him still at home when I come upstairs. Down the hallway, I can hear Chloe getting Penelope ready for school. “I’m fine.” I see my lunch bag ready on the counter.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” He sits down at the kitchen table and waits for me to join him.
I have a bad feeling that this is either about Lucas or my job again. “You’re seeing Lucas Diesel?” he asks with a frown.
I’m disheartened to have guessed correctly although his obvious disapproval is surprising. “I guess,” I answer, not being intentionally vague, just not yet knowing what Lucas and I are doing exactly.
“You guess?” he asks.
“Last night was our first time out.”
“It was a pretty eventful night for your first date,” he comments. “Raielle, I’m not your parent. I know that. I know that you’ve had very little parenting and probably very few rules to follow most of the time.” He leans forward, clearing his throat, and resting his elbows on the table. “I’ve been playing this guardian thing by ear since you got here. But as far as boys go, I think we need to have some guidelines.”
He watches for my reaction. Since I have no idea what he’s about to say, I don’t react at all. I just wait and watch while he tries not to let his discomfort show.
“Are you...?” he begins and then stops. “Do you need…?” He stops again.
Behind me, I hear Chloe release an exaggerated breath. I swivel in my chair, startled. I hadn’t heard her come in. “What he’s trying to say is, if you’re sleeping with Lucas or with any other boy, we hope you’re being safe about it.”
I turn back to see Kyle wincing slightly. But he also appears to be relieved that it’s been said, and he didn’t have to say it. I may be lacking in experience, but I learned about sex early on, probably far earlier than most girls. My mother was never shy or discreet about it. That’s also how I learned that when sex was about something other than love, it could leave you feeling pretty empty. “I’m not having sex,” I state clearly for both of them. “There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Okay. Good,” Kyle says abruptly, ready to bolt. He kisses Chloe, Penelope, and then me quickly on the cheek, completely surprising me, before leaving for work.
Once he’s gone, Chloe aims a skeptical look at me. “If you’re sleeping with Lucas, let me get you on birth control. No offense, but you really don’t need to get pregnant right now.”
I stand, not surprised, but somehow disappointed in her. “I can’t get pregnant if I’m not having sex.” I decide not to take the lunch she’s made me, and I walk outside to meet Myles.
“Everyone is talking about how you and Lucas were heroes last night,” Myles says when I join him on the sidewalk.
“I didn’t do anything. It was Lucas.”
He shakes his head at me. “I talked to him this morning. He said you were right in it with him.”
“Is that how you found out about it? From Lucas?” I’m surprised that he would call people first thing this morning to tell them.
He shakes his head. “April told me last night.”
“How did she find out?”
“Her younger brother is friends with Chris Andover. I heard he was in the car, too.”
I assume he was one of the passengers. It’s unbelievable how quickly news travels here.
Gwen is on me the minute we arrive at school. “I just heard. Why didn’t you call me?” Soon, the students, who have only stared at me since I began here, approach me for the first time and ask me for details. Even the person I think must be Chris Andover strolls right up to me like we’re best friends. “Can you believe it? I got tagged for underage drinking,” he says, laughing. “Grady’s in serious shit,” he adds, sounding shockingly unconcerned about his friend.
“I know,” April chimes in. “I heard he’s in a coma or something. Lara told me his room is right down the hall from Derek Hoffman’s. He’s that junior that was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. Just last week they were both in school and now they’re on the same floor at the hospital. Makes you appreciate what you have, doesn’t it?” she asks Myles, placing her arm around his waist.
He nods wordlessly.
I realize that this Derek must be the person who brushed against me in the stairwell.
“I heard the car was on fire when Lucas was pulling Grady out? Is that true? He’s so brave,” a girl I don’t know asks me, gripping my arm as she’s talking.
I shake my head and try to step away from her, but I bump into someone else on my other side. Too many people are touching me and trying to talk to me, it’s overwhelming and uncomfortable, and I need some space. I turn and squeeze through the people crowding in behind me. “Hey,” someone yells at me. With my head down, I keep walking toward the school entrance. I’m nearly to the door when a wall of muscle steps in front of me, and two hands land on my shoulders. “What’s the rush?” Lucas asks.
I breathe out, relieved it’s him. “We’re famous this morning.”
He nods curtly. “Looks that way.”
“I can’t believe how quickly everyone found out.”
“That’s Fort Upton for you,” he says, ushering me through the door with a hand on my lower back.
“Weirdoes,” Gwen says as she follows in behind us. “They don’t say a word to you until today. Now that they want all the dirt, they act like they’re your best friends.”
“It will settle down soon enough, and they’ll find something else to talk about,” Lucas says. Then he turns back to me. “You okay today?”
“I’m fine. You?”
His eyes hold mine as he takes a step toward me. “I’m good.” Then he reaches out and brushes my cheek with the back of his hand.
Gwen clears her throat. “So, um, yeah. I’ll see you guys later.”
I give Gwen an embarrassed wave, but Lucas doesn’t seem to notice her departure. “I want a do-over,” he says.
“A do-over?”
He nods. “For our date. This Friday night. You in?”
He’s standing so close, I feel lightheaded. “I’m in,” I reply, glad my voice sounds normal despite the giddy schoolgirl screeches of joy going on inside my head.
I
’m
starving once I get home. Not taking the lunch Chloe made for me out of spite was a stupid move. I stayed away from the cafeteria because I didn’t want to talk about the accident anymore. People continued to approach me all day. I did my best to ignore them and pretty soon they were eyeing me with disdain and avoiding me again just the way I like it. Lucas handled it better. He obviously wasn’t enjoying the attention but he at least provided curt answers and wasn’t overtly rude. I can’t say the same for me.
At dinner that night, Kyle makes Penelope’s day. “We’re going to Papa’s house on Friday for his birthday,” he announces.
“Yeah!” she claps. “Can I help him blow out his candles?”
“Of course,” Chloe smiles.
Penelope erupts in cheers again.
Kyle looks at me as his fork pauses in the air. “You’re invited, too, Raielle. My father really enjoyed seeing you the other night. He’d like it if you could be there.”
I swallow my lasagna. “Um, thanks, but I’ve already got plans.”
“With Lucas?” Chloe asks.
I nod.
“Bring him along,” she suggests.
I glance at Kyle for his reaction. He nods his approval.
“Come to Papa’s birthday party with us, Raielle,” Penelope says. “Pleeeeease,” she adds.
“They’re having it early for Penelope. There should be time for you two to do something on your own afterward,” Chloe suggests.
“I’ll ask him,” I finally reply. “And…thanks for inviting us.”
I call Lucas when I get back downstairs to my bedroom. “I can’t believe it,” he says when he answers. “Ms. Raielle Blackwood is calling me on the phone.”
I laugh at him. We’ve never actually spoken on the phone before. For some reason, having his voice directly in my ear feels more intimate than it should.
“This is the first time you’ve initiated a conversation with me,” he says matter-of-factly.
“It is?” I pretend not to realize this even though I know it’s true. Just calling him took a little internal pep talk.
“True story. I’m hoping it’s going to be a trend.”
I chuckle before taking a deep disappointing breath. “About Friday night,” I begin. “Kyle and Chloe want me to go with them to a birthday party for Kyle’s dad.”
After a few seconds of silence, he finally replies. “Okay,” he says in a flat voice.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to extend their invitation to him figuring he’d never want to go, but the subtle hurt tone of his voice changes my mind. “But I don’t want to cancel our plans. I’m just throwing a wrench into things. They said I could invite you, but I completely understand if you don’t want to go.”
“Do you want me to go to the birthday party with you, Raielle?” He sounds unsure.
I close my eyes and shake my head at no one. Now I’ve made him think that I don’t want him to go. I really am terrible at this. “Yes,” I reply. Then I hear him laughing quietly. “What?” I ask confused.
“That was really hard for you to admit, wasn’t it?”
“No,” I say, frowning at the phone. “I’m happy I can amuse you, Lucas.” He’s so annoying. Now I’m wondering if he was really upset at all. “I have to go and finish my homework now.”
“Don’t let me keep you. But feel free to call back if you start missing me,” he says, his tone teasing.
“Yeah. You should wait by the phone.”
He laughs, low and deep. “Goodnight, beautiful.”
I sigh. “Goodnight, Lucas.”
After another hour of studying, I turn off the light, lie down on my bed, and stare up at the shadows on the ceiling, my mind too occupied to slow down for sleep. I feel the nervous flutter of butterflies lingering from my conversation with Lucas. He called me beautiful tonight in that thick rich tone his voice gets when all the intensity he carries around with him is focused directly on me. I’m still having a hard time believing what’s happening between us. Back home, I easily avoided forming relationships with the people around me. They came and went. When they went, it was no big deal. But here, it’s different. I’m not sure what it is about his place, but I don’t want to push Lucas away like I normally would. I don’t want the way he makes me feel to disappear. I know it’s risky to be with him, but for once, I want to stop being cautious and start living my life. I don’t want to walk away from the people here in Fort Upton. If I had to leave tomorrow, I would miss them. That fact should be scaring the hell out of me. But it doesn’t. It feels like a tiny seed of happiness growing inside me. I could ignore it or I could do something really terrifying—I could nurture it. Maybe, I could even watch it flourish.