Keep Me Posted (28 page)

T
he boys both fell asleep on the train, and we carried them the three blocks to the house, depositing them into their beds in the room beside mine. In the quiet hallway, I whispered, “Let’s talk,” and Leo followed me into my room, where we found ourselves truly alone together for the first time in many weeks.

I needed to officially win him back on my own, and had prepared a speech in my head on the train. But the charge between us was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time, so instead of presenting my case for reconciliation, I did something that terrified me.

“Sit down,” I said, then turned the bedside lamp on and the overhead light off.

Leo sat on the bed, and neither of us spoke. I stood before him and started unbuttoning my dress from the top down. Thankfully, I had worn decent underwear and a matching bra—from the Gap, maybe, but lacy and black, and doing the trick, it seemed. When I slid out of the armholes and let the dress fall to the ground, Leo was looking at me in a way I remembered from when we were
dating. My stomach, with its frown of a belly button and slack white flesh, was like a third person in the room: He’d seen flashes of it, but not head-on like this since before the twins were born (and it was an entirely different body part).
This is it,
I coached myself:
No more hiding. No more apathy. No more lazy, indifferent sex.
I undid my bra and—as gracefully as possible—stepped out of my underwear. I said nothing, but stood there as not quite the girl he married but, hopefully, the woman he still loved.

“Cass,” he said, holding out his hand as if to answer my doubts.

My uncharacteristically bold seduction combined with the unfamiliar bed plus the fact that we hadn’t been together in several weeks all added up to a fantastically foreign yet familiar series of touches and sounds and sensations.

Afterward, Leo nuzzled my neck and said, “So that’s what they call makeup sex.”

I blinked back tears and kissed him again before laying my head on his chest. “So we’re made-up? You forgive me?”

“Yes. Thanks for coming to get me.”

I just smiled and hugged him tight.

Sunnyvale, New York

December 12

Dear Sid,

Surprise! My fingers are crossed that this will make it to you. I’ve taken the extra precaution of mailing it express. I hope your Singapore visit is going well. Things here are great—so much news to share! The crew looks to be making progress on Creekside Homebirth. They finished the roof yesterday—just in time, it appears, because this morning it snowed.

I booked two speaking engagements for January, a “letter writers alliance” and a bloggers conference. I’m completely intimidated. I need you to help me with what I’m going to say.

Kenny stopped by today to say that his parents are going to make it for Christmas Eve, and Monica and TJ and the kids are definitely coming, so it looks like we will have quite a crew. I went to the big Target today (bliss!)
and got new bedding for the two back rooms for Mom and Dad and Joe and Margie. Leo and I have the perfect tree in mind—we can cut it down when you get home.

Leo is over the moon because his buddies from Murray’s came out to taste his young goat cheese and they told him if he can make enough, they will sell it in the shop. Needless to say, he’s out goat shopping right now! The boys will be so excited.

You’ll be proud of me: I’ve only sent Leo four texts this week. Four! I have so much to tell him when he gets home every day, I practically knock the boys out of my way to reach him first.

Do you realize that Christmas Eve is the anniversary of our little letter-writing experiment? (Actually, “little” is the wrong word. “Metamorphic,” “gargantuan,” “transformative” would all be more fitting.) The deal was a year, and I know we’ve taken a few months off (justifiably, considering we see each other every day), but I wanted to honor our pact and close out the year with this.

Thank you, Sid, for making this happen. What a fulfilling journey it has been, and what a delight to get to know you again. Living with you has brought more harmony, balance, and happiness into my life than I ever imagined. Your support has made me a better mom. And yet . . . it’s hard to think about the joy this year has brought without also acknowledging the havoc I wreaked on my life, your life, Leo’s life, and perhaps a few others. But I daresay we’ve all come out of it in one piece! Having my most private self become totally public turned out to be horrifying, yes, but ultimately liberating. I have no idea where I’d be today if it weren’t for the tumult of the past year, but I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now, with goats in my barn, a birthing suite in my yard, a cheese cave in my basement, and a house full of people I love and cherish.

Soak up that warm weather and then hurry home, my dear. I miss you. Kisses to Lu and Riv!

Love you so much.

—Cassie

Readers Guide

Keep Me Posted

Lisa Beazley

Questions for Discussion

1. Is Cassie a good mother? A good wife? A good sister? Does she seem to prioritize any of these roles over the others? Which is the most important to her? What
should
be the most important relationship? Is it possible to ace all of them, or do some have to suffer so that others can thrive?

2. How do you think Cassie’s obsession with Facebook affects the way she sees herself, her family, and her own life? Do you think people are honest about themselves on social media? Can you tell when they aren’t? How does seeing an endless stream of curated information about other people’s lives influence how we see our own?

3. What do you make of Cassie and Leo’s constant text messaging? Cassie seems to think they would be more intimate without it. What’s a healthy amount of electronic communication in a relationship?

4. Cassie lets her relationship with Sid slip away, despite needing her. Is social media to blame? Why do we allow ourselves to drift away from the people we love while keeping up with acquaintances on social media? Is there someone close to you whose social media tendencies are the opposite of your own? How do these differences impact your relationship?

5. Cassie mentions Sid’s beauty several times even though she admits she is being superficial. Do you think Cassie is superficial? What about Sid? How does being beautiful affect someone’s personality? Do you think Cassie is jealous of Sid? Why or why not?

6. Cassie seems to idealize Sid in other ways, too. Is this her being a little sister, or do you think Sid deserves Cassie’s adoration? We only get Sid’s views on Cassie through her letters. How do you think she would describe Cassie if she narrated the book?

7. What if Cassie and Sid had kept in touch the usual ways, via e-mail, phone, and texting? Would they have been more or less guarded? In what ways might their relationship have been different?

8. Cassie finds herself wishing for a “simpler time” upon hearing her grandfather read the letters he exchanged with her grandmother. Does Cassie get her wish? Do you think old-fashioned letters were simpler or more
complex than modern communication? How so?

9. What is it about Cassie and Jenna’s relationship that prevents them from being friends? Do you trust Cassie’s assessment of Jenna, or do you think she’s been unfair to her? Do you recognize relationships you’ve had with other women in them? If so, were you a Cassie or a Jenna?

10. Cassie doesn’t do much with Jake physically, but is she any less guilty than if she’d had a full-blown affair? Why or why not? Are there degrees of infidelity?

11. Cassie has a turning point just before the blog goes viral. Do you think she would have ended up in the same place emotionally if the blog
hadn’t
gone public? Or did she need to survive that ordeal in order to fully save her marriage and herself?

12. Where would Cassie, Sid, Leo, Kenny, Adrian, and River be now if the blog had never gone viral?

13. What advice would you have given Cassie if she had come to you for help when she discovered that the blog had gone public? Who did she need to tell, and what did she need to tell them? Do you think flying to Singapore was necessary? Or would her efforts have been better spent on Leo? Who was most damaged by Cassie’s actions?

14. Were you surprised by Leo’s reaction? Do you agree with his decision not to read the letters? What would you have done? If he had read the letters, would he still have forgiven Cassie? Do you think she deserves his forgiveness?

15. What about Sid’s reaction? If you were in her position, how might you have handled it? Given her problems with Adrian, what do you make of her ability to be supportive of Cassie’s attempt to put her marriage back together?

16. Do you think Cassie and Leo will be happy now? Do you foresee any trouble with their living situation at the end of the book? Where do you see Cassie, Sid, Leo, River and Kenny in five years? Could you move in with a sibling and his or her family?

17. Which sister do you most identify with? Who would you rather have as your sister?

Looking for more?
Visit Penguin.com for more about this author and a complete list of their books.
Discover your next great read!