Keep It Sexy (KIS Series Book 3) (16 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Christian

I sat at the kitchen table as my mom prepared a late breakfast. She never let me cook for her, and after so many years of asking, I stopped. It made her mad that I asked. She said when she wasn’t able to feed herself I could start feeding her, but until then she was going to cook. Ladling some red salsa over my sunny-side up eggs, she quickly flipped the tortilla from the griddle and set it on my plate. It smelled heavenly. It always did.

She set the plate in front of me, then refilled my cup of coffee. I tore a piece from the warm tortilla and stabbed the yoke bubble, causing it to spill over the crispy cooked egg whites. I chewed my food as she gossiped about the women at her job. How the new girl was rumored to be sleeping around with her boss. I felt compression around my throat.

“So what if she’s sleeping around with her boss? Maybe they really like each other. As long as they’re consenting adults, Ma, I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”

“
Ay, por favor
, Christian, no lady would ever sleep with her boss. That’s so,
como se dice
…trashy.” I lowered my gaze to look at my food, suddenly nervous. I knew Billie and I had just started officially dating, but I wasn’t one to lie to my mother. And technically we weren’t sleeping together. I mean, we were but we weren’t
sleeping
together.

“I just started dating one of my employees,” I said, still looking at my plate. I heard her shift in her seat.

“
Una novia?
”

I cleared my throat, then took a drink from my coffee. Over my mug, I could see her judging eyes. “Yeah, she’s my girlfriend,” I replied.

“For how long?”

“Just three days.”

“Oh.” She rose to grab the rest of the tortillas from the stove.

“Maybe you can meet her someday,” I said, turning in my chair to look at her.

“Maybe.”

I changed the subject to something she would prefer to talk about. After thirty more minutes, I cleaned the dirty dishes after much reluctance and kissed her goodbye, promising to call her tomorrow. I was in a hurry to get to Billie; I suddenly missed her, and the way she felt against me. I was in such a hurry that I would have missed the envelope on the floor if I hadn’t dropped my keys. It had been placed on top of the
welcome home
floor mat, and I stepped on it accidentally, leaving my shoe print on it.

I picked it up along with my keys. I glanced around one more time before heading down the stairs and outside to my car. Quickly, I checked my phone to see if Billie had called or texted before opening the envelope. Inside were several pictures of my mom walking to work, to the store, and some photos of her outside the building talking to her neighbors. My gut felt like it was ready to crawl out of my mouth.

As I flipped through, I stopped when the pictures changed from my mom to some of Billie—a naked, young looking Billie. They were blurry like they had been older and blown up to fit a larger sized photo. One was of Billie underneath Connor. Another one showed her riding him. Her hair was longer, and I knew it was her even with it being blurry because of the tattoo on her left rib and the lines of scripture on her arm.

The last one was Connor taking her from behind on a bed. I chucked the photos in the direction of the passenger seat, heated. I’d never been this pissed off before. My jaw tightened and I felt the cords on my neck pulse. I was going to kill this motherfucker. Before calling Billie, I called Marquis.

“What’s good, man?” He answered after two rings.

“I need to hire some of your guys,” I said, looking around trying to compose myself. “I need a couple to watch over my mom. Around the clock.”

He let out a long whistle. “That’s going to cost you a pretty penny.”

“I’m good for it.”

“Yeah, man, I know you are. Anything you want to let me in on? Got yourself into some trouble with the McAllister family, I hear.”

My jaw clenched tighter. “I can handle it. Just need protection for my mom.”

“Be careful who you get in bed with,
Travieso
.”

I fucking hated that name.

“Like I said, I can handle myself.”

Marquis grunted. “Don’t I know it, man? I’ll get two of my best guys over there right away.”

“I appreciate it,” I said before hanging up. I’d hear from him soon enough with how much I was going to owe him. The familiar feeling started to settle inside my stomach. I was feeling caged in, like I felt before, when I was involved in all this bullshit. It was like the more I tried to run away from this life, the more it tightened its grip on me.

***

When I arrived at Del Sol, Billie was waiting outside for me. Before leaving my mother’s apartment, I had picked up the photos and stuffed them inside the glove compartment. Immediately, from Billie’s expression, I could tell she hadn’t had a very good meeting with Don. I didn’t open the door for her like I always did which gave
my
feelings away. When I saw her face morph from frustration to disappointment, I felt like a chump for taking my bloodlust for Connor out on her. She hopped in, offering me a tight smile.

“Can you at least give me a little time until I find another job?”

“Huh?” I turned in my seat to look at her.

“You’re breaking up with me, right? I have to say, you are a first, at least you didn’t cheat on—”

I leaned over, gripping the back of her neck, coaxing her mouth to part so I could slide my tongue inside. When she did, it was like a sense of peace washed over me.

“You’re breaking my heart here, kid. You shouldn’t kiss a girl like that when you’re about to break up with her,” she said against my lips, her voice coming out in a breathy whisper.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” I murmured, kissing her again. “I’m sorry I didn’t open the door. That was a shitty move, but I’m pissed.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Let me take you back home so I can explain it to you.” She nodded, her stare flickering between my eyes and lips. Placing my free hand on her neck, I gently tightened my hand, bringing her back to my lips, reassuring her and maybe even myself that she was worth all this trouble. And fuck me was she ever. I didn’t have a chance to pull away from the parking lot because soon Billie was straddling me and gripping the back of my neck for a deep sensual kiss. My dick was already hard and her sitting on it wasn’t helping matters. I groaned when she wiggled her ass. I gripped her hips to stop her.

“Babe,” I warned, but it came out in a groan when her lips moved down my neck and nipped at my skin.

“I want you, Christian, right here. Please, I need you.” She cupped my face with her small hands. I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

“Are you sure?” I knew she was; I just needed a verbal confirmation. She released my face and went directly to my zipper where she began to pull it down.

“Fuck,” I hissed. “Let me move to the back of the restaurant, at least.” She continued to unbutton my pants while sucking and kissing my neck and jawline. Quickly, I put the car in reverse, pulling out of the parking space. I placed Big Bertha in drive and drove to the back alley of the restaurant. I slammed it back in park, turning off the engine. I took back control, gripping her face. I kissed her, eating up her sighs and whimpers. Breaking the kiss for only a moment, I took off her shirt I threw it behind us as she grabbed the hem of my shirt, almost ripping it off. Her hands fanned out over my pecs, then slowly moved down my stomach. I felt my muscles tighten with her touch.

“Billie, I want this, believe me I do…But…” I had to really concentrate to remember how to speak because she had me in her hands and she was pulling me out of my jeans. “This just seems wrong, taking you in an alley in my car.” Billie giggled quietly as she continued to stroke me.
Holy fuck.

“Nothing with us is right
or
wrong, Christian. It’s a perfect combination of both.”

There was a blend of elation and confusion that blossomed in my chest. I was confused by how right it felt for her to say those things. It was wrong for me to pursue this with her. My mother was being threatened and even though I knew staying with Billie would cause more problems in my life, deep down I knew I could protect her and my mom.

I gripped her face and kissed her, desperate to feel her lips against mine. She hummed with pleasure as our tongues connected. My pulse picked up and all I could think was how fast I could get inside of her. Billie broke our kiss and hopped to the passenger seat. She unbuttoned her jeans, then shimmied out of them. I pulled on the empty pant legs to help her out. She giggled when I started pulling off the socks, toe by toe.

“Panties too, babe,” I said, balling up the socks in my hand. She sucked in a sharp breath as she slipped her thumbs on each side of the elastic band of her pale blue panties. She moved slowly, so slowly it was becoming painful. As my hunger for her became insatiable, I threw my hands over hers and ripped the skimpy piece of cloth from her thighs. Billie’s chest rose and fell frantically. The look in her eyes was the same fever I was feeling. She licked her lips and that was my undoing. Grasping her small waist, I pulled her back on my lap as she tugged my pants and boxers down. Enough that it wasn’t uncomfortable. She kissed me, moving her soft hands up and down my shaft.

“Condom,” she said breathlessly. I groaned when she took my tongue inside her mouth and sucked.

Without breaking our connection, I moved us forward so I could reach over to the glove compartment were I kept extra condoms. My knuckles skimmed the manila envelope, and I jerked my hand away like it had bit me.

“What’s wrong?” Billie asked, trying to get the answer by looking into my eyes, but I dodged her concerned expression.

“Fuck,” I said, running my hands down my face.

“You don’t want this.” Her voice was smaller than I’ve ever heard. I felt a punch to my gut when she covered her chest with her arms. Billie tried to move away, but I stopped her.

“No, babe, I want this. Like I’ve never wanted anything in my life.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

Letting out a heavy sigh, I leaned over again to grab the envelope. I gave it to her without explanation, then stared out the window while she looked through the pictures. Two pigeons landed on the side of the dumpster that was a few feet away from us. They took turns picking at a closed Styrofoam container in search of some food. An unpleasant feeling rose in my stomach, although Billie’s words sounded truer than anything I’ve ever heard.

Taking her here, as our first time, wasn’t something I would look back on and be proud of. I wanted her to tell our future kids that the first time with the love of your life should be special. I wanted this to be right. My breath hitched. I was instantly scared by the thought. I looked at her horrified face as she flipped through the pictures, and I realized I was falling for her.

I knew with sudden clarity what this thing between us was. I was
in
love with her. Real love, the kind of love that only happens once in a lifetime. The kind of love that would make me kill for her. The kind you hold onto so tightly it could be mistaken for suffocation. Her bottom lip quivered, and I knew I was going to kill Connor.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Billie

I sat on Christian’s bed with my legs pulled up to my chest and his favorite Ninja Turtles fleece blanket over me. That alone made me feel a little better. I could hear him in the kitchen opening a can of soda and ice clashing against a glass cup.

Why would Connor do this? I had given up my virginity to him because I thought I loved him and I could trust him. I should have been smarter than that. I was taught to read people and see right through their bullshit, but even then he had deceived me. I was seventeen when it finally happened.

It was another house party, like we were used to having all our lives. Don was in the backyard with an adult crowd of a variety of criminals, while the younger ones stayed inside the house. It was the middle of June. There was hardly any breeze, and we were all slick with sweat even with the fans blasting on high. I was on Connor’s lap drinking a beer while Lincoln made out with a blonde beside us.

Donnie was playing a video game with two of the Martinez boys, everyone else was a blur, either dancing or standing around laughing and drinking. The air was thick with weed and cigarette smoke while the music blared through our old three-foot high speakers. The door was left wide open, inviting anyone in the neighborhood to attend. I knew for a fact Jade was not allowed to come, even if B.J. was currently in our backyard shooting the shit with my father, or most likely getting head from some groupie. Jade was forbidden to be there. Adelitas Way, “Dirty Little Thing” started to play. I felt Connor’s lips smile against the side of my neck.

“You finally gonna wear me out tonight?” he whispered while he nipped my earlobe.

We’d been together on and off since I could remember. All my life I had thought of him as another brother, but then he hit puberty and I saw him as the man he was, especially when he didn’t wear a shirt.

“Or do you like torturing me?” he asked, gripping the back of my neck a little too hard, making me gasp. Jerking away from his hold, I looked at him, and Connor smiled almost apologetically—almost. “Don’t make me look like a fool in front of everyone, Billie. I’m tired of waiting.”

He grabbed my beer and drank the rest of it. I knew he was tipsy because sober Connor would never speak to me this way. We’d been having this conversation for a while. Every time we fooled around, he wanted to take things further, but when I put a stop to it, he’d make me feel guilty. And I was getting tired of having my boyfriend make me feel like crap for not sleeping with him.

I turned a little in Connor’s lap to take the blunt Donnie was passing to Mateo. Drawing it to my lips, I sucked in a big hit, letting it simmer until my lungs couldn’t hold it anymore before releasing the remaining smoke. Didn’t even choke. Connor and Donnie smiled at me, proud. I took Connor’s hand and pulled him off the couch, then walked to the basement where all three boys shared a room. Behind us, cheering and whistling broke out, then I heard Donnie’s voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the future King and Queen of Harden!”

That night, I had given up my virginity to a man that made me feel like I owed it to him. I should have known getting high and drunk before having sex for the first time was a huge red flag. No one’s first time should require you to get numb before it; you should want to feel everything.

“Billie?” Christian’s sweet voice snapped me back to the present.

Looking up at his handsome face, I started to cry. I was embarrassed and felt so degraded by those pictures. The first tear hadn’t dropped down my cheek before I was in his arms. He scooped me up and held me against his chest while he sat on the bed. I gripped his shirt, trying to climb inside of him so I could feel surrounded by his protection and kindness.

He stroked my hair and held me tight and whispered,
it’ll be okay. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I was so wrapped up in my feelings that I completely forgot the pictures of his mom. Instantly, my tears dried up. Pushing back on his chest, I sat up to look at him, terrified.

“There were also pictures of your mother.”

Christian bowed his head and nodded. “Yeah, I got that covered.”

“How?” I asked, louder than I should have. “You don’t know what kind of pull he has, Christian.”

His eyes softened as he tried to reach for me, but I backed away and stood.

“Billie.” He sighed. “I have it handled. Don’t worry about it.”

“He’s dangerous, Chris. You don’t know what he’s capable of.
I
don’t know what he’s capable of, and I’ve known him all my life.”

Christian’s stare was no longer soft, but agitated.

“Do you think I’m a fluffy teddy who can’t protect himself and the people he cares about?” He started off calm, but then raised his voice, and as soon as he did he quieted, looked down to the floor before he inhaled a deep breath. “Don’t underestimate me or what
I
could do, Billie. Just because I don’t live in the hood doesn’t mean it doesn’t follow me around.” He stood and walked out the room.

“Where are you going?” I yelled.

“Out. Problem?” he yelled back before slamming the front door closed.

What the hell just happened? How was I the enemy in this?

***

“So, I may or may not have been keeping things from you,” I said while accepting the Diet Coke Jade was offering me. After Christian stormed out, I had taken the bus back to Jade’s house. She knew by the look on my face I needed to talk, but didn’t ask until we were inside the house and sitting on the kitchen table.

“No, you think?” Her sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. I tried to wipe the guilty look off my face with a smile but failed. I couldn’t take her glare so I concentrated on the pull-tab of the can.

“Should I start with the most recent?” She didn’t respond. I knew she was just staring at me without looking up at her. “Christian and I are officially a couple.”

“Oh, I thought you were going to tell me something I didn’t know?”

I didn’t even bother asking her how she knew. We were pretty obvious. The only person at the bar who didn’t know was probably Ava, and that was because she was wrapped up in her own little world.

“Those flowers,” I said, pointing at the garbage can. They were inside, dried up. “They were from Connor. He sent them to me the day of the barbeque. He wrote a card that said, ‘Adding a little of me to your welcome home party.’ I didn’t tell him we were having a get-together, Jade. He must have had someone follow me to work and eavesdrop on our conversations. And I know when he did shit like this before, you were always so concerned, and I never really wanted to admit how creepy it was. It all hit me that day. Then this morning, after our argument…”

I pointed between us. “I met up with Don, and he was acting all weird and more secretive than normal. When he said goodbye, it was like he was saying goodbye forever. So, I called John and he told me there’s an inner war between LCD and Don. One of them is trying to take over and they’re taking Don’s contacts and making money on their own. B.J. said he fears for Don’s life. He thinks one of them is going to try to kill him or have him killed.” I finished with a breathless huff. I could hear my pulse inside my ears.

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would they bite the hand that’s fed them all these years?”

With my elbows propped on the table, I buried my face in my hands. “John said Connor was sent here years ago to pick up a payment. Don made a mistake with Connor’s dad and owed him big. That’s when Don offered a merger between the Cassidy family and us.”

“How?”

“Through marriage.” I glanced up just in time to see Jade’s eyes widen and the gears in her head begin to turn.

“You mean, a marriage between you and Connor?”

I nodded. “Don was to take Connor under his wing and teach him everything and after my eighteenth birthday, Connor and I were supposed to get married. But then I left for college and their plan didn’t work out like they wanted. I think that was the reason why Don never pushed me to come back after I went off to U.W. I think as the years progressed he saw the real Connor and didn’t want me with him.”

“But then why would he convince you to come back sometimes?”

“I don’t know, to read me? To see if I wanted to stay? Eventually we would get into an argument and I would remember why I left to begin with.”

“He was bringing you in to remind you of why you left, and at the same time putting up appearances in front of Connor.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Manipulative prick, isn’t he?” she said. I grunted. “And this just happened today?”

“Yeah, but I’m not done yet.” I went on to explain about the pictures and the argument Christian and I had gotten into. Toward the end of my explanation, Pete had come home from an interview and sat down next to Jade. When I was finished, he blew out a long whistle.

“How you two never managed to meet each other before this is beyond me,” Pete said.

“What do you mean?”

Pete scoffed before he continued. “When Christian says he can handle Connor, he isn’t just blowing smoke up your ass, Bil, he’s telling the truth. And in all honesty, if Connor knew who Christian was, he wouldn’t be threatening his mom either…or his girl.” Both Jade and I exchanged a glance.

“What are you talking about?” we asked, almost at the same time.

“Christian also went by another name,” he said. “
Travieso
.”

I gaped. My boss, now my boyfriend, was the notorious Travieso, Aurora’s biggest drug lord’s golden boy. I sure knew how to pick ’em.

***

Pete took Jade and I to work. I still hadn’t heard a word from Christian. No text, no call, no email—nothing. And I wasn’t going to be the first to text. Even though Pete had explained to me why Christian had gotten so upset, how was I supposed to know any of that? Pete said it didn’t matter. I had questioned Christian’s manhood and his ability to protect what was his—whatever that meant.

When Pete pulled up to the back parking lot of the bar, Christian’s SUV was there and I let out a breath of relief I didn’t know I was holding in. Inside the bar, I spotted him right away as he joked around with Jaime. He looked up and his smile instantly vanished at the sight of me. My chest began to hurt. I couldn’t help the look on my face and I know he saw it because his face fell.

I tried to move into the employee locker room, but he stepped in front of me. My stare was trained on his red Vans. I smiled, remembering the day he pointed out we always seemed to wear the same shoes. God, it felt like an eternity ago. So much had happened since then.

“Will you come outside with me?” he asked, lifting up my chin. Clearing my throat, I answered.

“Yeah.”

Christian took my hand, pulling me back into the parking lot. Once the heavy red door closed behind us, he took me in his arms. My legs dangled off the ground, and I wrapped them around his waist and squeezed him tighter. Christian chuckled into the crook of my neck.

“Damn spider monkey,” he said.

I giggled while tears ran down my cheeks. It was then I realized I had fallen in love with him. And that scared me more than being afraid of Connor. Now, there was leverage. Now, I had something to lose if anything ever happened to us.

“Hey,” he said, pulling back. “Why’d you get all stiff all of a sudden?”

Shaking my head, I pushed off of him, planting my feet on the ground.

“It’s nothing. No, I lie…why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“Who you are.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

Christian did the same, and sometimes I thought it was cute and sometimes, like right now, it angered me because he was going to stand his ground and I would stand mine and neither of us would bend. I was stubborn but he was worse, and I wasn’t sure how this was going to work between us if neither of us was willing to bow for the other.

“So, I should disclose my past when you don’t even bother to tell me yours?”

“I’ve told you…” I stopped because I really hadn’t told him much of anything. “Stuff.”

Christian looked down then back up again, like he’d remembered something.

“Billie, I don’t think…this is going to work out. I left all that shit behind for a reason. I don’t want it. And it feels like you’re not ready to let it go yet. I’ll handle Connor when he gets back, and you can still work here. But between you and me, we should keep things professional from now on.”

I could feel the tears behind my eyes, threatening to spill over.
Oh, please don’t cry, please don’t cry
, I kept telling myself, but in the end the reaction was too much for me to hold. And that angered me even more. Why was I trying to hold in my emotions for his sake?

“Baby, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, but this has gotten too out of—” He reached out to touch my face, but I smacked it away. I could tell he was fighting a smirk.
Asshole
.