Keegan's Lady (54 page)

Caitlin moved back as Ace's brothers lifted him to hurry him inside the house. Was she worth it? Right now, she doubted it. But from this moment on, she would try to be.

All her life, she'd yearned to be loved by someone. Not lust when it was convenient, but in the difficult times as well. She'd wished . . . Oh, God. She pressed the back of her hand over her mouth. She'd wished on stars for half her life, always yearning for the same thing—one person who would love her so much, so completely, that she could trust him with her life. Someone who would fight for her. Someone who would never lie to her. Someone who would put her happiness before his own.

A hero . . . That had been her wish. Someone who'd sweep her up and carry her away from the trap her life had been. Someone who would make her bad memories lade and give her new, magical ones. Someone who would make her feel like a princess.

Long ago, she'd grown to accept that it was a stupid, little girl's wish. An impossible wish. Heroes existed only in fairy tales. Magic was a child's fantasy. There were no princesses in real life.

And then Ace Keegan had stormed into her world. He'd given her all her wishes. Made all her dreams come true. Taught her to believe in magic again. He hadn't done it with flourish. He'd waved no sparkling wand. Just day in, and day out, doing little things, performing little bits of magic that didn't really seem like magic when they happened.

Ace Keegan, her hero . . . She'd almost turned her back on him. Almost rejected every sweet thing he'd so selflessly offered her. Love. A family. Promises to last a lifetime. Gentleness. Unfailing kindness. A sense of safety and security that was absolutely priceless. In short, a life filled with magic.

I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish...

Caitlin closed her eyes. She felt all the old bitterness break apart inside of her. It had been a very long while since she'd given thanks to God for anything. She' thanked Him now. Not for who she was, but for who He'd given her the chance to become.

Ace Keegan's lady.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

By late afternoon, Ace was sitting up in bed. Joseph had bandaged his ribs, suspecting that one might have sustained a hairline fracture. Caitlin had cleaned the cuts on her husband's face and applied poultices to his bruises. The rest would be left to Mother Nature and the healing process of time.

Holding a spoonful of broth to Ace's split lips, Caitlin found herself staring at his face, still appalled at the amount of damage Patrick had inflicted. It made her feel sick when she thought about it. She could only wonder how many times Patrick must have struck Ace, how many times Ace must have staggered from the blows, only to regain his balance and allow Patrick to hit him again.

"It was a very stupid thing you did, letting him beat you like that," she said shakily. "I realize you made me a promise, but if you'll recall, you did qualify it by stipulating you'd defend yourself if Patrick threatened your life. If he had continued hitting and kicking you like that, he might have killed you."

"He didn't. That's all that matters. My sweet little wife ran him off with a two-by-four." Placing a palm his midriff, he carefully shifted his shoulders against the pillows. "Knowing you took up for me like that makes it all worth it. I'm proud of you, Caitlin."

"Proud of me?" That he could say such a thing after the way she'd behaved made her want to hide her face in shame. "How can you possibly feel proud of me after the I treated you?"

"I just am, that's all. I've never gotten to see you when your dander's up. It's a shame I had to miss it."

One twinkling brown eye settled on hers. The other eyelid was an alarming shade of purple and nearly swollen shut. And his nose—his beautiful nose. Joseph did tried to straighten it, but it looked to Caitlin as if it were listing to one side. She could only pray that was due to the swelling.

"I'll never forgive myself if your nose mends crookedly."

"I'll just have to remember not to follow it."

"I don't know why you're joking. It isn't funny."

"You're still here, aren't you?" He leaned his head forward for more broth, trying, without much success, to tighten his sore lips over the spoon. As he swallowed, he swiped at the trickle that ran down his chin. "Patrick won the fight, but I got the girl. Who's complaining?"

"Lucky you."

He tried to smile, then winced. "That's me. One lucky fellow."

Caitlin couldn't hold the tears at bay any longer. She blinked, trying to dry her lashes. "Joseph said if he'd been you, he would've helped me pack and said good ridance. I can't say I blame him."

"Caitlin, would you stop?" He took the cup of broth from her hands and set it on the bedside table. Then he wrested away the spoon, the end of which he used to lightly thump her on the forehead. "I happen to love you. And not to discount Joseph's sage opinion, mind you, but I think I know you a little better than he does”.

"After what your father did to you, is it any wonder your faith in me got a little shaken? You're still here, sweetheart. That's what I'm concentrating on. That you stood up to Patrick to defend me, and that you're still here now, taking care of me. So far, you haven't even demanded an explanation. Do you think that's lost on me? That I don't know how hard it is for you to take me on faith?"

"On faith? I wouldn't even listen to your side of the story. I was just going to leave!"

"That's my fault, not yours. I should have had the guts to tell you the truth before you heard it from someone else."

"Are you saying everything Patrick told me— everything in that letter—that it's all true?"

He regarded her for a long, tension-laden moment. "If I say yes, am I going to lose you? I think I could become a very accomplished liar, if that's the case, because the plain truth is, I don't know if I can—" He broke off and sighed. "I guess it's silly to say I won't be able to live through it if you leave me. But that's how I feel. My life won't be worth a damn without you."

That was all Caitlin really needed to hear. The sudden knot of fear that had formed inside of her loosened, melted. She managed a tremulous smile. "If you truly love me, Ace, none of the rest really matters. What hurt me the most was thinking you'd been toying with me. That nothing between us had meant anything to you. That maybe you'd been"—her throat went tight— "amusing yourself with me."

His one good eye narrowed. "Caitlin O'Shannessy Keegan, you are the sweetest, most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me, and don't you ever forget it. Amusing myself? Jesus H. Christ."

"Well. . . ? That's how it sounded in John Parrish's letter. He told Eden he thought—well, that he was afraid you might be using me to get revenge against my father."

"Revenge against your father? After sleeping in the same bed with you for a month and never being able to so much as touch you?" He chuckled and grabbed for his ribs. "Oh . . . God! Don't make me laugh."

Caitlin waited until his mirth subsided. "Would you mind sharing the joke?"

Still holding one arm clamped over his midriff, he said, "It's nothing, sweetheart. Just a man thing. I'm not laughing at you. Honestly. It's just—well, if anyone got revenge, it was probably your father."

Realization started to dawn, and Caitlin felt heat rising up her neck. "I see."

"I doubt it," he said with another low laugh. "Just trust me when I say you were worth waiting for." He took a deep but careful breath. "Definitely worth waiting for."

His swollen mouth tipped into a crooked smile. "Come here," he said in a low, husky voice. "You're looking a little bruised around the edges. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He set the spoon aside and reached to grab her hand. "Come on. Over here."

"But what about your ribs?"

"To hell with my ribs." He gave a hard jerk, pulling her toward him. "I need to feel you close to me."

Caitlin allowed herself to be drawn onto her knees, whereupon she twisted at the waist to sit beside him with her back to the pillows. He curled an arm around her shoulders.

"There. That's better." He glanced down at her. "Now I have a good hold on you, just in case you decide to take off."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You're liable to be tempted after I've told you everything."

Caitlin swallowed. "Then don't tell me. There's nothing I need to hear, except that you love me. I know you have your reasons for wanting revenge against the men who killed your stepfather. I won't let that come between us. No matter what you choose to do, I won't let it ruin things for us."

His arm tightened around her. "Thank you for that. It means more to me than I can say."

She leaned her head against his shoulder so she could see his face. "I know how it feels to hate someone because he's hurt you. To feel almost sick with the need to get back at him. When you sought out Cruise Dublin and beat him up, you did it for me—because you understood I'd never be able to feel it was completely finished until he had paid for what he did. If you want your own revenge, I won't try to stand in your way. Those men killed your stepfather, and the way I see it they have whatever they get coming to them."

He ran his hand lightly up and down her arm, his touch making her feel warm and wonderfully safe. "I'm glad you feel that way. Maybe it'll make it easier for you to understand everything I've done."

Caitlin could tell by the tightness in his voice that he truly was still afraid he might lose her. "I already understand." When she didn't feel any of the tension ease from his body, she quickly added, "I'll even go a step farther than that and help you get even."

He cast her a startled look. "You'll what?"

"I said I'll help you. Just tell me what I can do. I can't beat anyone up for you, but I can do other things. If you're bent on going through with this, then I'll stand behind you every inch of the way."

After a long moment, he relaxed against the pillows head back, eyes closed. "Caitlin O'Shannessy Keegan! you are a treasure. I don't deserve you. You know it?"

"I think it's the other way around."

Another long silence fell. At last he said, "I have so much to tell you, and I'm not sure where to start."

"At the beginning," she said softly.

He dragged in a shaky breath. "The very beginning was clear back in St. Louis, when Pa ran into two men., who had some prime range land to sell for a thousand dollars. It was a steep price, but the land sounded like a paradise, and he was willing to pay it. The next thing we all knew, we were heading west."