Kay Springsteen (2 page)

Her father hunkered down in front of her.
“
I see. And then what did you do, since you
’
ve just told me you still haven
’
t tasted asparagus?
”

“
I threw the dish at Jerome.
”
She nearly choked on the words. As soon as the green spears smothered in cream had landed on the butler
’
s black coat and then rolled slowly to the floor, she
’
d regretted her impulse.
“
I
’
m sorry, Papa. It wouldn
’
t have happened if you were here.
”

“
You think not, eh?
”
A smile played at the corners of his mouth.

“
Oh, no, Papa.
”
Annabella touched his cheek, enjoying the scratch of fresh whiskers beneath her fingers.
“
You never make me eat things I don
’
t like, and you don
’
t mind if I run down the staircase, and you tell me stories and take me for walks…
”

Her father straightened and sent a long gaze in the direction of the house. Just as she thought he might have turned to stone, he clapped a hand on her shoulder.
“
Let us take a walk now, darling girl.
”
He handed her one of the candy sticks and tucked the rest back in his vest. As he buttoned his coat, he nodded toward the pasture.

Annabella licked the end of the candy stick as they walked.
“
Lemon!
”
She slipped her hand into her father
’
s. His touch was firm and warm, and he gave her a little squeeze. All was right in her world
once more
.

“
Papa, do you have to go away again very soon?
”
She angled her head to see his face.

“
Not for a little while.
”
He
stopped at the cobblestone wall.
“
Maybe not for quite a long while this time.
”
Smiling, he gave the wall a pat.
“
Sit up here for a bit.
”
Then he set his hands about her waist and swung her onto the wall.

A lark trilled in the distance.
“
Hear that?
”
He sighed
.
“
Ah, it
’
s good to be home.
”

“
It sounds happy, Papa.
”
Annabella kicked her feet against the stones.

Her father tilted his head to the side.
“
Why, yes it does.
”
He stepped closer and settled his loving gaze on her face.
“
And you, Annabella… are you as happy as that meadow lark?
”

“
Oh, yes—
”

He raised one bushy eyebrow and held her in steady regard.
“
The truth now, Annabella. You know telling the truth is most important.
”

“
I am now, Papa.
”
She rolled her bottom lip against her teeth and stared at the bit of candy in her hand.
“
Now that you
’
ve come home.
”
A strand of hair blew
across
her face, and she wrinkled her nose against the tickle.

Her father lifted the strand on the end of one finger and tenderly tucked it behind her ear.
“
Has it been that hard on you, my dear? Me being away so often?
”

Tears pricked at her eyelids. Distressed
by
her dilemma, Annabella plucked at the ivory muslin of her dress. She mustn
’
t lie. But the truth might hurt Papa
’
s feelings.

“
It
’
s well to speak your heart, child,
”
he murmured.

“
I like Miss Lucy,
”
whispered Annabella.
“
I like making my letters and learning how to stitch like Grandmother used to.
”

“
And your mother? Do you have lovely times with your mother?

Some of Annabella
’
s happiness faded.
“
Sometimes… when Aunt Charity and Aunt Harmony visit, Mama smiles a bit. And Aunt Charity plays the pianoforte and Mama and Aunt Harmony take turns dancing with me.
”

A frown settled over her father
’
s face and he squeezed his eyes closed for a breath and then opened them.
“
You know your mother loves you, don
’
t you?
”

Annabella blinked in confusion.
“
Yes, Papa. She tells me so when she sees me to bed at night.
”

“
She sees you to bed?
”
His voice seemed to swell with pleased surprise.

Taking another lick of candy stick, Annabella nodded, delighted that her answer
appeared
to have made Papa happy.
“
Every night. And sometimes she tells me stories about a lonely princess who
’
s kept locked in a castle.
”

Her father
’
s head snapped up. His face turned the color of ashes and his jaw hung slack. But he drew in a sharp breath and then released it in a long, heavy sigh. He stared into the meadow without speaking. The lark ceased her singing and flew off. Annabella traced the lace on the end of her fan as she tried to sit still and wait patiently. Papa had never
looked
so sad before. Was it because Mama told her stories?

After another sigh, he straightened
and turned to her.
“
Annabella, you know nothing will change how your mother and I both love you.
”

Unable to help herself, she giggled.
“
Yes, Papa. And I love you and Mama.
”
Confusion crowded into her mind.
“
Only sometimes… sometimes you go away and Mama doesn
’
t miss you like I do. Sometimes she
’
s happier.
”
She lowered her voice to a whisper, although no one else was around to hear.
“
And I don
’
t know if she loves you as much as I do.
”

Papa reached out and stroked her hair, his touch familiar and comforting.
“
Right. You
’
re a smart girl. I sometimes forget just how observant you can be.
”
He stepped to the wall and settled himself next to her.
“
I love your mother very much, and in her way
,
she loves me. But years ago, I made a dreadful mistake.
”

Annabella twisted so she could watch Papa
’
s face.
“
What kind of mistake?
”

Sadness clouded his eyes and his mouth turned down.
“
That doesn
’
t matter just now. But it was a terrible mistake and it had appalling consequences.
”
He shook his head.
“
And then in attempting to rectify the wrong I
’
d committed, I compounded that error by leaving your mother alone when she needed me most.
”

Annabella frowned. Why did adults speak in such riddles all the time?
“
I don
’
t understand, Papa.
”

“
Yes, I know you don
’
t, and I pray you never will, darling girl.
”
He laid his arm across her shoulders.
“
You
’
re correct that your mother doesn
’
t feel the same affection for me that I feel for her. But I
’
d thought she was at peace with the decisions we
’
d made. I know she loves you, and I know she doesn
’
t regret your birth in the slightest. And I want you to know that nothing in this world or the next can steal you from my heart. Nothing.
”

Tears welled, brought on by confusion and sorrow because Papa was obviously distressed about something.
“
But you go away so often.
”

“
Yes…
”
He nodded.
“
I do. I
’
ve been gone too much, especially of late, and I
’
ve missed time I would have chosen to spend with you. I suppose it has been my manner of hiding from the error of my ways. And…
”
He sighed heavily.
“
I
’
ve been attempting to right a grave wrong. Annabella, my girl, love is the greatest gift in the world, but it must be freely given and received. If you love someone, you will go anywhere with them, do anything for them. One must know when to fight for love when it goes off course, and sometimes—
”
He drew her closer against him.
“
Sometimes it
’
s best to let go. Your mother had no choice but to marry me, you see. I didn
’
t give her one, her father didn
’
t give her one. And… I suppose you could say fate stole her choice as well.
”
He stroked Annabella
’
s hair again.
“
I love your mother enough to let her go. But as she has no place she
can
go to… I
’
m the one who
’
s been doing the leaving.
”

Annabella blinked slowly, mulling over Papa
’
s words. Part of her had recognized some time ago that her mother kept out of his way whenever her father came home. And it had seemed to her that he
’
d slowly started traveling more frequently, staying away longer with each trip. The past few times he
’
d left had been unexpected. Her parents had argued wickedly before his last trip, and in the morning, he
’
d said goodbye and departed with no explanation of where he was going.

“
Papa, when will you have to leave again?
”

“
I won
’
t be leaving any more, Annabella.
”
He set her away from him and gazed into her eyes.
“
You see, loving someone also means you must know when to stay. I love you, and I miss you so much when I
’
m gone. And I think — that is, I get the idea you miss me just a bit.
”

She flung her arms around his neck and squeezed.
“
Thank you, Papa!
”

He folded her against his chest.
“
One day, Lady Annabella, you will find you have choices of the heart. When that day comes, I pray you will choose love over what others might perceive to be the right course.
”

Her sadness already evaporating, Annabella giggled.
“
Mama says I must behave as a proper lady would so a proper nobleman will appreciate me.
”

“
Annabella, my heart… if it
’
s a nobleman you want, I have no doubt a nobleman you shall marry.
”
He kissed the top of her head.
“
But whomever you marry, please marry a man you love, someone to whom you would willingly give your whole heart.
”
He laughed softly.
“
You may not understand that now. But one day… One day you will.
”

He stood.
“
Come now. We must go and see what Cook is planning for dinner.
”

Annabella hopped to the ground and tucked her hand into his.
“
I hope it
’
s creamed turnips.
”

Papa shuddered.
“
I have no idea how you can eat those things with such relish.
”