Kane, Samantha - Brothers In Arms 4 (34 page)

choices. Ian had once again fled an earl’s presence with great relief.

That had been two years ago. Ian had defied the earl’s displeasure at his association with Derek in the intervening years, essentially choosing Derek over his family. Now he was married to the woman whom his family had chosen for him. He hadn’t done it as a means to get back in the earl’s good graces. Had it been viewed that way? If so, was Ian willing to let the misunderstanding lie in order for Sophie to be further insulated from hurt by his family’s influence? Yes, yes he was. He’d made that decision when he answered the earl’s summons.

“Ian, my dear boy, how good it is to see you again. You’ve stayed away far too

long.” His uncle stood up behind his desk and held out his hand. He was a tall man, bordering on gangly, but still quite distinguished with his blond hair turning a shimmering gray, his blue eyes dark and intelligent in an angular face.

Feeling like a hypocrite, Ian shook his hand. He compounded his sin with a

pleasant greeting. “My lord, it is good to be back. I’m sorry if you’ve misconstrued my absence. I’ve been terribly busy reestablishing a life here after the war.” He smiled benignly and felt a stab of unease when he saw the shrewd look his uncle gave him.

“Yes, so I’ve heard,” was all the earl said in response. He let go of Ian’s hand.

“Drink?” He indicated an intimate grouping of chairs near the sideboard and Ian followed him over. Ian remembered this now too, how self-contained his uncle always seemed. He was a man who kept his own counsel well, rarely letting anyone close enough to know what he was really thinking. Two years ago that had intimidated him.

Now he was merely impressed with his self-possession. The intervening years had taught Ian that what his uncle did or did not think had only as much influence on Ian as Ian allowed it to. With that in mind, he took the offered seat.

They didn’t speak again until his uncle had poured drinks for them both and sat down opposite Ian. The seating arrangement was less adversarial than Ian thought it ought to be—almost companionable, really.

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“Did you bring your new wife with you?” The earl’s question was asked casually, but Ian sensed so much more behind the words. He chose his own just as carefully.

“I came alone this time.” He kept his face in its neutrally pleasant mask. If things were going to go badly, he intended for his uncle to fire the first volley.

“That’s a shame. I am eager to meet her, as is the countess.” A polite remark that required no response. Ian offered none but a smile. The earl sighed expansively, and Ian raised his brows in surprise at this show of emotion. “This is the girl your father picked?”

“Yes,” Ian confirmed. He said no more, once again masking his suspicion behind a smile.

The earl put his drink down on the table beside him. “Ian, we’ll get nowhere if you refuse to answer my questions.”

“Where are we going?” Ian asked, his voice a little harder, his smile a little sharper.

“I am merely trying to find out what you’ve been up to these last two years. The news of your marriage was a complete surprise to the entire family. None of us were there to represent your family, Ian. That showed a lack of respect for your bride that, at least on our part, was completely unintentional.”

Ian tilted his head and looked at his uncle. “Meaning?”

The older man leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers, pressing the two index fingers against his lips for a moment as he studied Ian. After a moment he lowered his hands to the chair arms. “Meaning,” he drawled in reproof, “that we support this marriage and would have liked the opportunity to affirm it.”

Ah, thought Ian, this was about saving face then. “I’m sure no one took much notice of it, and a word here and there on your part now will suffice.”

“Will that be sufficient for your wife, or is that immaterial?” The earl’s tone had gotten decidedly cooler.

Ian was again taken aback at the display of emotion. “Sophie could not care less.

Family is not that important to her, as hers is bloody awful. We are more than enough family for her.” Ian inwardly winced at his use of the word “we”. He had hoped to get this interview over without mentioning Derek’s name. The earl must have seen some tiny flinch on his part and his eyes sharpened like a hawk’s.

“We?” The tone was cool, but only mildly so.

“Yes, we.” Ian would give him no more than was necessary. The earl sighed again.

“Whose idea was this marriage?”

The question took Ian by surprise. “My father’s,” he replied immediately, knowing that was not the answer his uncle wanted.

“Did you want to marry her?” The earl was tenacious, Ian would give him that.

“I wanted to marry.” Ian could honestly answer that question. He had wanted to

marry very much. That he was able to marry Sophie was a gift he greatly appreciated.

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“Good, that’s good,” his uncle said encouragingly. “We had begun to wonder what we were going to do with that betrothed of yours, since it seemed you would never marry her. Her father had inquired of me about a possible breach of contract.”

“What?” Ian didn’t bother to hide his incredulity. “That bastard cares for naught but his money. I hope you told him what he could do with his breach of contract.”

“Actually I inquired of him whether or not he had asked you about the marriage.

Before I received a reply I got news of your marriage. I assumed he had indeed inquired of you, and the promised suit drove you to the altar.”

“No.” Ian was emphatic. “I was not forced to marry Sophie. I wanted to marry her, and I am glad I did. I will never regret this marriage.”

The earl cocked a brow. “Never is a long time.”

“I’m in love with her.” The words surprised Ian as well as his uncle. He realized with startling clarity that he meant it. For a while now he’d been evading the truth, using words like adore and fond, but the fact was he loved her. He loved her humor and her strength, her vulnerability and her compassion. He loved her freckles and her willingness to trust him. He loved her as much as he loved Derek. The thought made him blink. How the hell had he gotten so damn lucky, to have two such amazing people in his life to love? “I’m in love with her,” he said again, not even trying to hide his stunned delight at the wondrous revelation.

His uncle smiled wryly. “I can see that.” He paused and gazed at his drink as he swirled the amber liquid. “Love doesn’t solve everything, Ian.” He looked up at him in consternation. “Well. For once clever ambiguities fail me. What about your Mr.

Knightly? Will he be a problem?”

“Derek? Why would he be a problem? Granted, he and Sophie quarreled a bit at

first, but I think they’re becoming fond of one another.” Ian was still too shocked by his recent epiphany to think about what he was saying.

“Do you mean to say that he is still with you?” The earl’s tone was incredulous. As if realizing he’d overstepped his bounds, he coughed delicately into his hand. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my affair, Ian.”

Ian sobered at his uncle’s words. “Why? You certainly made it your affair two years ago.”

After taking another drink, his uncle put his glass down. “Marriage changes

everything, my boy. Once you are married, what happens in your bed is no one’s

business but you and your wife. Society turns a blind eye to any…irregularities as long as you and your wife present a united front.”

When he said no more it was Ian’s turn to look at him incredulously. “And that’s it?

Because I’m respectably married now, you’re willing to look the other way and let me fuck Derek, is that what you’re saying?” Ian was getting angry, for his own sake, but also for Derek’s. In his anger he forgot his determination to reconcile with his family.

His uncle refused to answer Ian’s anger in kind. Instead he looked predictably

inscrutable and picked up his drink again. “I was in love once.” The earl’s confession 171

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surprised Ian almost as much as his earlier declaration. “She was inappropriate, of course, for the future Earl of Wilchester.” He looked at Ian sardonically. “My father’s words, not mine. I went along because I imagined that I would be able to marry the countess and still keep my love as a mistress.” He stood suddenly and went to the nearest window to stare out at the twilight. “Unbeknownst to me, my father made an arrangement with hers. She was summarily married off to a barrister from Wales and spirited away. She now has five children. We write often.” He took a drink. “If I had been able to have both of them…” He left the thought incomplete.

“Why are you telling me this?” Ian asked quietly when it was apparent the earl was done sharing his past.

The earl turned to look at him, his face smooth, emotionless. “Because I see myself in you.”

Ian thought he couldn’t be shocked any more than he already had been, but he was.

He shook his head. “How?”

The wry half smile that passed for amusement crooked his uncle’s lips again. “I’ve learned quite a bit from you the last two years, you know.”

“Uncle, at this point I know nothing. I am stunned by this conversation.”

His comment caused his uncle to bark with laughter. “Oh yes, Ian. You didn’t back down, you see. I played the autocrat to perfection and you threw it in my face. In all our faces. Then you marched off to London with your wholly inappropriate lover and

proceeded to carve out a life separate from this family. You’ve become a wealthy man of property. In every way you have shown that you don’t need us.” He walked over and put a hand on Ian’s shoulder. “And with each success I cheered you on, Ian, in my heart. How I wished I could march out and live my life on my terms.” He squeezed Ian’s shoulder. “Until one day I realized I could.” Ian turned to look at him unsure of what he meant. “I cannot be what was, Ian. I can only be what I am, right now.”

Ian gave his uncle a genuine smile. “You are lucky, Uncle. I had to go to war to learn that lesson.”

The earl walked back over and sat down again. “We all worried about you greatly when you were there, Ian.” He let his true feelings show, and Ian was moved by the sincere words.

“I know, Uncle Victor. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that when I came back…well, my return was hardly reassuring, was it?” He shook his head at his own foolishness. No matter what had transpired, he’d known they had worried about him, that they were truly grateful for his safe return. He’d not appreciated it at the time.

“It was concern for you and your future that drove me the last time we spoke.”

“I know that now.” Ian tried to find the words to convey what that concern meant to him and couldn’t. He felt the empty hole that had been left behind when his family turned their backs on him filling up again, and it was a sweet relief. He could admit some of the fault had been his. He’d been defensive and hurt and still bleeding inside 172

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from the wounds of war that no one else could see. “Thank you,” he finally said.

“Thank you for that concern.”

His uncle sighed and Ian could see that a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders as well. “The countess wishes to have a ball in celebration of your marriage.

Will that suit you?”

Ian was taken aback. “A ball. I…yes, that would be fine. I’m sure Sophie would love it.”

The earl smiled unreservedly and the expression made him look ten years younger.

“Good, good. Shall we say in three weeks then, in London?” His uncle stood up and walked over to his desk and began flipping through the papers there.

“Yes, that will work out well.” Ian stood and faced his uncle. “Derek will attend with us.” He wanted to make absolutely sure his uncle understood what their

relationship was, he, Derek and Sophie.

His uncle stopped and looked at Ian, inscrutable again. “Of course. I’m sure he can be discreet if he actually tries.”

Ian couldn’t stop his laughter. “He has been known to, on occasion. I’ll see that this is one of them.” He walked over to the desk. “Please do not invite Sir Middleton. He and Sophie are estranged, and we plan on keeping it that way until he dies a miserable death.”

His uncle made a note on a piece of paper. “Hmm, that way is it? Just make sure you don’t hasten his demise in any way.” He looked up at Ian from his notes. “It would seem your bride is in need of family then, Ian. It’s a good thing you have some to spare.”

Ian grinned. “We are all in need of family, Uncle, whether we admit it or not. I’ll be only happy to share my overabundance with Sophie.” And Derek, he thought to

himself, overcome with the understanding that he would be welcomed as well.

“Then I shall see you at dinner, Ian, and you can let your relatives welcome you back to the fold. Oh, Cousin Elspeth is here. For God’s sake don’t mention Derek. I don’t want you to give her an apoplexy.”

Ian just laughed and showed himself out of the room.

* * * * *

Derek awoke with a jerk, sitting straight up in bed, the echo of his cry reverberating around the empty bedchamber. He could feel the sweat on his forehead, his hair a damp mess on his head. A cold trail of sweat trickled down his spine as he heard footsteps running down the hall. He raised a shaking hand and rubbed it across his eyes, trying to erase the picture still lingering in his mind from the dream. He heard his bedroom door open, a quick click as the handle turned and a rush of air when the door was swung inward rapidly. She didn’t even knock, he thought with a small grin that was as shaky as his hand.

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“Derek?” Her voice was slightly breathless, emphasizing that certain huskiness that she always spoke with. With his eyes closed, it was a sultry voice, a voice that spoke of sex and forbidden pleasures and made him think she’d taste like rich chocolate. He felt his cock go hard, the lust slamming into him, shocking but not unexpected. After one of his dreams, Ian always soothed him with sex. His body was reacting on instinct. He quickly opened his eyes to dispel his rising desire, to show his body and his brain that it was Sophie not Ian—not a lover. There would be no sex tonight.