Kaleidoscope Summer (Samantha's Story) (60 page)

I stuck
each piece in p
l
ace
until
it lacked one
piece to complete the diagram
. I picke
d up the piece with Daniel
written on it. “Until I can deal with this p
iece
,
I can’t let go of the past?
”

She nodded
.
“When we hold the root of bitterness inside us, it never remains s
tagnant—it continues to grow.
Clinging to the past allows it to
hold us
prisoner,
prevents
us
from moving forward.”

“It
always
comes back to
forgiveness.”
The increase in my pulse rate
along with nausea in my stomach
said run, but a
surge of courage
pushed
me to work through this.
I
looked at the almost completed puzzle, and
clung to
hope
.

Dr. Ellie looked at me
.
I was about to be challenged. “Let’s talk about D
aniel
. You’ve shown concern for
how he left
Anne
. What about you?”

My thoughts
took their time morphing
into
words. “He didn’t want me.” I brus
h
ed a tear from my cheek.
“His rejection cuts the deepest
,
because he didn’t even look back. Why does he deserve my forgiveness?”
Close to sobbing, I inhaled a deep breath in a futile attempt to control my emotions.

“
When we extend
forgiveness to others
,
we are
set free. Forgiveness benefits the one giving much more than the one receiving.
” She shifted in her seat.
“
I will add one other thought.
I’m a few years older
and
it’s possible I see youth
different
ly
from my vantage point. The impetu
ousness of youth can often over
shadow the making of good decisions
”

Samantha nodded.
“
My first year of college I did some pretty stupid stuff.
Thanks to my parents
I got back on the right tr
ack, t
hey
made sure of it.
”

“The Lord’s Prayer says, ‘And forgive us our debts, as we forgive o
ur debtors.’ Forgiveness requ
ires a leap of faith—it
can require us to relinquish the bitterness our humanness
wants to
hold on
to.”

Relief surged through me, as though
God had
reached in, grabbed hold of the
b
itterness
and yanked
it
out
,
the same way I’d watched Maggi
e weed her garden—making sure to pull out the whole root
. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of His presence. “Will you pray with m
e?”
My knees felt the
roughness of the
planks
as we knelt in prayer.
I thanked God for the willingness to forgive
.
H
is love embrace
d
me
,
as He
strip
ped
away the
bondage of the past
.

Dr. Ellie
pushed
up from
the floor
. “Congratulations, we’ve
completed our final session.
I’m very proud of you.
” She handed me the final puzzle piece.
I reached over,
dab
bed
glue on it
,
and completed the puzzle.

“Bring it over here.” She jiggled open
the metal gate
on an old
pot-bellied stove
gracing
a corner of the deck.
“A way of affirming your freedom to move forward.”

I placed the completed puzzle
ins
ide
.
She handed me a lit candle and
I touched the flame to the edge of the paper.
I watched it roll
, each end toward the middle
,
and turn into blackened ash. “I le
t go of the past and gi
ve it
to God.”
I
beamed a smile at Dr. Ellie and gave her an exuberated hug
. “Thank you.”

“You did the work. I merely listened and guided you
.” She and Pre
cious stood in the opened doorway
,
and
we exchanged
wave
s before I drove away.

Goldie and I returned to the
i
nn
. I kicked off my
shoes and before I lost my resolve
,
I
sat at the
secretary desk in my room.
On
a piece of the
inn’s
statione
ry
,
I
wrote
a
letter to Daniel. The letter need
ed to be one of forgiveness
,
not castin
g of blame.
So
I
kept it
short
, p
laced it in
an envelope and added postage.
Goldie and I scampered
downstairs
where I
dropped
it
in the mailbox near the reception desk. I’d heard people talk about feelin
g a physical weight lift
. I now understood
. I felt
l
ight and free as a soft summer breeze flo
ati
ng
on
to shore
.

T
he grounds of the
i
nn
beckoned
, but I needed to get
ready for my dinner with
Logan
. We
arrived
at the curved stairway at the precise moment
Maggie
placed
her
espadrille-clad
foot onto the first step
with a garment bag draped over her arm.
“Maggie!
What a delightful surprise.”

She nodded
in my direction
,
with
her coppery
spirals boun
cing. “I was on my way up to visit
you
.”

We ascended the stairs together.
“You’re
here
to see me?” Had she talked to Dr. Ellie? No.
Dr. Ellie would never break a confidence
, no matter how close she and Maggie are
.
“What about?”

“I have something for you.” She lifted the
garment bag
.
The hallway ended at the double doors of my suite
.

“
Come
in.
”
Curiosity
released
butterflies into my mid-section.
I held
the door as Maggie entered and
making herself at home,
called
room service
.

“This is going to
look fabulous on you.”
From the shape
of
her lips
,
the emphasis was on
fabulous. She worked the hanger loose from the garment bag
,
revealing a gorgeo
us dress
.

“
I love the color.
” The silky softness of the fabric felt
sensua
l
. I
held it up under my chin
.

“Go. Go tr
y it on.” She clapped
as though
applauding herself for a job well done.

Stil
l holding it against me
,
I swirled in front of the
mirror. “Where will I ever wear it?” In answer
,
she handed me matching
sapphire
satin slippers
.
Oh, I get it. They remembered my birthday—I’ll play along
.

She waved her arm. “
Hurry
.
I want to see it on you.”

Goldie jumped up and
Maggie
answered
the door
as I went into the bedroom to change
.

Maggie gasped as I came back int
o the room. “Wow
,
it’s
more stunning
than I imagined.”

I smiled at t
he server
who
had come in to
set up our tea
.
“Ma’am
,
that is
a lovely gown—t
he exact color of your eyes.”

“Thank y
ou.”
I
twirled
a couple of times before I
padded
back
into the other room
to change
.
I put on a comfy silk
robe, returned to the sitting room and
poured the tea. “It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever worn
.
”

“
Logan
said
you
’
r
e
having dinner at his house t
onight. I thought you’d enjoy
dressing up.” She bit into a tea biscuit.
“
W
hy don’t I drive you?”
The look of satisfaction glowed in her eyes.

Right,
and I suppose
she isn’t going to join the party
. By sheer industrial-
strength will, I refrained from laughing,
not wanting to rev
eal I’d caught on to her
scheme.

“Maggie,
I
want you to be the first to know, well, other than Dr. Ellie.
I’ve made peace with
the past
for the first time
since finding out about my
adoption.”

“
Then w
hy ar
e you leaving?
”
Her eyes
filled with concern as h
er expression questi
oned
my sanity.

Without giving
voice
to my reasons—ones
I no longer believed—I
simply changed the subject.
“If I don’t h
urry I’ll be late
.”
Can’t be late to my own birthday party.
Smugness wasn’t in short supply, knowing I had figured out her
little
scheme.

“
Okay, but we will finish this conversation later. Y
ou go shower and I’ll help wi
th your hair. In the meantime
,
Goldie can play with her Aunt Maggie.”

With my back to the spray
,
I al
lowed it to soak my ha
ir. Tears mixed with the water.
I
don’t want to leave.
I love
Logan
.
Father, p
lease show me Your will.

***

Maggie
stopped
and waited for
the magnificent gates
to open
. She
pulled up near the garage
and stopped
. “
Logan
wants you to meet him on the bluff.”
She reached across the console and placed her hand on my arm. “Sam,
think with your heart. I’m praying for God to direct your steps.”

I leaned across t
he seat and gave
her a hug
, not quite sure what she was up to
. “I love you
,
Magg
ie.” I climbed out of her
red convertible
and waited as Goldie hopped down
.