Kaitlyn O'Connor (26 page)

Disgust twisted in Daeman
‟
s gut when he discovered that the Hirachis
‟
new search of the ship was a desperate hunt for courting gifts—disgust and anger aimed at himself. It had felt too much like a betrayal of Kael, though, to pursue the hunger he felt for Lau-ren when he had had the chance and now he regretted that he had allowed that sense of guilt to sway him. Now he saw that it would not have been the betrayal he had thought—not in their eyes.

Truthfully, their customs baffled him. When he had realized that they were knowingly and willingly sharing their lover, he had thought that they were far stranger than he had before. It was one thing to suspect your lover had another, and something else entirely to
know
it and still count them as friends.

He supposed he could see it in a way. Actually, when he had emerged from his fascination in her enough to actually notice, it had been painfully clear that the circumstances prevented anything else unless they were all willing to stand back and watch only three with lovers or they spent the majority of their time trying to beat the competition senseless. And it was certainly far better to have a drink at the trough than only to thirst for a drink. It was the fact that it was not practicality that inspired them that thoroughly baffled him. Clearly, it was their way, for he had never seen more than passing resentment between Lau-ren
‟
s lovers when they had been struggling to establish which of them she held in highest regard.
That
seemed the only competition that they were willing to pursue, each of them trying to prove they were more worthy of her regard rather than trying to eliminate competition altogether.

He would have understood it better, he thought, if he could not see that they did not see her merely as a handy receptacle for their lust, if they had had no interest in her beyond having a woman to fuck. That he could understand completely. He had been in that position himself many times, but that was not an affair of the heart. It was an affair of the dick, and an interest in nothing more than slaking his needs.

They all thought of her as their woman, though, in the way a man only felt about a mate—except that they did not call her mate or even seem intent upon forming a mate bond.

Wryly, he admitted that it was not altogether his loyalty to Kael for saving him that had held him back. She was afraid of him. He was damned if he could figure out why. He did not see that he was any uglier than the others. The women on
his
world had not seemed to think he was ugly, at any rate.

But there was no ignoring the wide eyed, frozen look of fear that entered her eyes when she discovered that he was close by or that he was watching her.

If he had not been certain that she would scream and run if he tried to woo her, he thought he would have tried—and the hell with the guilt. He would have been willing to live with the burden if he could have coaxed her into his bed.

He would have been willing to ignore the fact that she had the babe of one of the Hirachi in her belly, even though that realization alone had angered him so much when he had first realized 115

it that he had wanted to challenge her Hirachi lovers and beat them unconscious. What the stupid bastards had been thinking to breed on her when they must know it would only make her more vulnerable was beyond him!
He
would certainly not have risked her life to breed upon her!

He thought about the gift that he had found and hidden with some notion that he might try to woo her with it, and then had discarded the idea as unlikely and treacherous to Kael besides.

He did not see why he could not give it to her, he thought in sudden anger. Mayhap she would still not allow him to court her, but he would not know unless he tried and, at the very least, it would make her happy.

Abandoning the Hirachi to their search, he strode purposefully back to the lift and up to the level where he had hidden the thing that he had found for Lau-ren, trying to decide if there was any chance that he might separate her from the other women so that he could give it to her and mayhap coax her into talking to him at least. If it was his appearance that frightened her, he reasoned, then she was not going to grow accustomed to it if he could not find the balls to try to draw her out.

He thought it must be his appearance and not him in particular. He had certainly not done anything to frighten her.

He frowned at the thought, feeling uneasiness flicker through him.

He had not been able to resist going to her cell to stare at her and he had hungered for her.

He had a very bad feeling that she would
‟
ve noticed that—if she had noticed him at all—but he had not said anything to frighten her. He had not tried to grab her. He had not taken liberties he should not have whenever he had seen the opportunity.

Shaking his unaccustomed doubts, he retrieved the gift that he
‟
d found to try to pique Lau-ren
‟
s interest and went in search of her. He was not surprised to find her in the control room with the other two women, but he was vastly disappointed. She was not as shy and nervous when they were with her, but he thought it less likely that she would give him any encouragement.

Dismissing his pique over it, he carried the strange container to her. “Found dis, Lau-ren.

Tought it de ting you want.”

Loren stared in disbelief at the suitcase for a moment before it sank in that it really was her missing suitcase. Uttering a shriek of excitement, she bounded out of her chair and raced to Daeman to look at it more closely. “My suitcase! You found my suitcase!” She
‟
d flung herself against him to hug him impulsively before she even thought about it. Self-consciousness sank in almost the instant she felt the pressure of the embrace, felt his arms close around her instinctively.

Embarrassed, she pulled away, throwing an uncomfortable glance at his face. “Sorry!” She grinned down at the bag. “I
‟
m just so excited!”

Karen and Shara had surged forward, she discovered, looking as excited as she was. “Open it!” Karen exclaimed, clapping her hands in impatience. “Let us see! Let us see!”

Laughing at their enthusiasm, Loren dropped to her knees and opened the bag. Karen gasped ecstatically. “
Clothes,
” she said reverently. “Real clothes!”

Possessiveness seized Loren for a handful of moments. She struggled with it, wrestled it down. It
was
hers, but the only reason she had it was because the bastards that had betrayed both of them had let her pack to allow her the illusion that she had a choice. As much as she wanted to grab everything and growl and refuse to share, none of them would have survived as long as they had if they hadn
‟
t willingly shared the little they had. “It
‟
s almost like Christmas,” she said 116

happily. “It
‟
s been so long I hardly even remember what I packed.”

She glanced from her treasure trove to Daeman. It warmed her to see that he was grinning as happily as they were, warmed her to know that he
‟
d been looking for it. Tamping her uneasiness as she had her possessiveness, she got up and moved to him. “Thank you so much! I can
‟
t tell you how thrilled I am to see it.”

He chuckled huskily. “No need. See.”

She felt her face heat, but she smiled at him. “That obvious, huh?”

He lifted a hand and lightly traced her smile. “Like dis,” he said gruffly.

Loren swallowed with an effort. Try though she might to dismiss it, she felt his attraction to her and an echo of it within herself. “I
‟
m so happy I could kiss you!”

His eyes gleamed. “Could. I let you.”

Loren chuckled and went up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Alarm flickered through her when she felt his arms close around her tightly, jerking her closer, felt his fingers tangle in her hair to entrap her even as he turned his head to thwart her attempt at a tame kiss on his cheek.

There was so much hunger in the feel of his mouth as it covered hers that she was torn for several moments between alarm and intrigue. There was no denying the pleasurable heat that scorched her as her senses captured his essence, though.

Her heart was thundering in her chest frantically when he lifted his head and met her gaze.

For several moments, he held her and then, almost reluctantly, he let her go. Loren licked her lips, tasting him on them, struggling with the heat he
‟
d brought to life and complete confusion at feeling it.

“Panties and bras!” Karen shrieked excitedly.

Relieved at the distraction, Loren glanced down at her and chuckled with embarrassment.

“Stop waving them around!”

Karen grinned. “It doesn
‟
t bother Daeman, does it?” she asked, meeting his gaze.

He lifted his brows at the articles she was waving at him. “What dis?”

Karen sent Loren a wicked look and held the bra and panties up to herself.

Daeman studied them for a moment and looked at Loren. “Like better dis way,” he said, gesturing to the ragged toga. “No cober pretty tings.”

Loren felt her face turn redder. “Well! Maybe
I
prefer to have my „pretty things
‟
covered up?” She returned her attention to Shara and Karen. “OK! I get first dibs! It
‟
s my suitcase.”

Karen looked up at her hopefully. “You
‟
re going to share?”

“Of course I am—I just want to grab my favorites.”

Karen watched Loren sort the contents into three piles with a mixture of excitement and envy every time something went into someone else
‟
s pile. She spied something in the bottom, however, that broke her efforts to resist grabbing and snatched it up. “Birth control pills,” she gasped in awe.

Loren looked at the package wryly. “Great! I could
‟
ve used those a while back,” she muttered.

Karen met her gaze. “You aren
‟
t happy?”

Loren swallowed with an effort. “It
‟
s hard to be happy about it when they clearly aren
‟
t,”

she said unevenly. Her chin wobbled. “They don
‟
t like me anymore. If I
‟
d had the birth control 117

then, they still would.”

Discomfort wafted through Daeman and anger along with it both because her feelings toward the Hirachi were obvious and because the stupid bastards had made her feel as if she and the baby were unwanted. He wrestled for several moments between the urge to try to sooth her hurt and a reluctance to weaken his own chances with her by doing so. Finally, her need for reassurance trumped his selfishness, however. “Dem dumbasses tear ship apart. Look for courting gifts. Want baby. Worry „bout Lau-ren.”

Lau-ren sniffed, looking at him so hopefully that he felt his heart sink, realized that he
‟
d lied to himself. He wanted far more than a chance to get her in his bed. He wanted
her…
and he did not have a hope in hell of having her, never had. She loved the Hirachi.

“Really?” she asked doubtfully.

He forced a smile he didn
‟
t feel. “Truth, Lau-ren. No cry. Dem dumbasses figure dis out.

You see.”

She smiled at him a little tremulously. “They aren
‟
t dumbasses.”

He sent her a skeptical look. “Are. Lau-ren mine, I no miss chance to touch and kiss for stupid ting.”

Loren discovered that Karen was staring at her wide eyed when Daeman left. “He
‟
s sweet on you!”

Loren felt her face redden. “No, he isn
‟
t! He
‟
s just…sweet.”

Karen grinned at her. “Maybe, but I got the definite impression he was letting you know he wouldn
‟
t let grass grow under his feet if the others were too stupid to appreciate you.”

Loren cleared her throat. “Don
‟
t make something romantic out of it,” she said irritably. “The poor man
‟
s just horny. He
‟
d light out like a flash if there was an unattached female around here.”

“Well, I
‟
m not going to argue about the first part. I haven
‟
t seen a boner like that in a while!”

“Me neider,” Shara said unhappily.

“Karen!” Loren gasped, horrified. “Did he really?”

Karen laughed heartily. “You
are
interested! I knew it!”

Loren swallowed convulsively. “I
‟
m horny, damn it!” She shrugged. “And he
‟
s a really good kisser.”