Kade (20 page)

******

I’m getting ready to head out to meet Ryder at Steele. I love watching Morning Alliance play and it’s been a while, so I can’t wait.

I check my reflection in the mirror. I’m dressed in brand new tight jeans and a black see-through blouse, my bra visibly showing. I’m wearing black boots, which are also new. They are stiletto and have cute buckles on them. My hair is down and wild, and I’m wearing a brown smoky eye makeup with a nude lip. I reapply my lip-gloss and then head out to my car.

Pulling into Steele, I walk in and take a seat at the bar. I order my usual drink and glance over at the stage. All the equipment is set up, so they must be on soon. I cringe when I see Kade sitting there at a table with James. I quickly look away, but a moment too late because Kade sees me and storms over. I can tell he’s pissed. His lips are pursed, his jaw clenched. He grabs onto my arm and pulls me aside, into a corner. My drink drips over the side of the glass.

“What the hell, Kade?” I ask, wiping the drops from my hand onto his shirt. That ought to teach him.

“Why are you here with him?” Kade sneers.

“With who?” I ask innocently.

“With Ryder!” he growls. How does he even know? I walked in alone and I haven’t even seen Ryder yet.

“We’re dating. And I came to watch him play like a good girlfriend,” I tell him in a ‘duh’ kind of tone.

I start to move around him, not wanting to miss Ryder coming out on stage. Before I turn around he pushes me against the wall and kisses me forcefully. The kiss is hard, punishing. I push him away, furious.

“What the hell was that?” I ask, shocked.

“
That
is me showing you how much I want you,” he says huskily.

“Move away,” I demand.

“No. I miss you, Nikki,” he admits to me.

“No, you don’t. We had fun. You have fucking Ashley. Now move!” I say, hands on my hips.

“I don’t have fucking Ashley, she and I are just friends! I haven’t been with anyone since you!” he huffs.

“You and Ashley, just friends.” I laugh, and it doesn’t sound pleasant. “Really, so why the fuck were you two in bed together? Huh?” I demand. I guess the time for answers is now.

“Look, Ashley had a hard night, she just needed a place to stay, and I comforted her. That’s all,” he says, his eyes staring right into mine.

“Right, okay. You didn’t have to fucking sleep in the same bed as her. You would
kill
any guy that slept in mine, even if it was just friends for comfort.” I pause for a moment, regaining my breath.

I let him walk me outside, so we can actually hear each other talk. I don’t say a word, just stare at him as he starts to explain all about his friend.

“Damon was my best friend. We met when we were just in Kindergarten. We got along so well, we were really close, like family. Ashley hung out with us every so often, it wasn’t until I found out that Ashley and Damon’s mother would hit her, that I allowed her to hang out with us more often. Their mother wasn’t a nice woman, she would say mean things and put them down all the time. Damon ended up enlisting in the army. When he passed away, he asked me to look after Ashley. Their father walked out on them when they were kids, and their mother abused her. It’s partly why I was so pissed you hit her. She has no one left except me, and it’s something I will always do, Nikki. What you walked in on was her seeking comfort. It was the anniversary of Damon’s death. We slept, that’s all. I see her like a little sister, Nikki. The thought of her and me never even crosses my mind.” I take in what he says, and I feel for him. Hell, I feel for Ashley, she lost her brother and her mother was a total bitch. But it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s noble of him to keep this promise, but not when it’s ruining our relationship.

His eyes are pleading with mine. “So because you guys needed comfort, you snuggled all night? Right, so should I go and ask Derek, who is just a friend, if he can snuggle with me when I’m feeling down? Instead of turning to you?”

“I fucked up,” Kade whispers, as a tear falls down his face. Fuck, that pulls at my heartstrings, but I just can’t do this with him.

“Damn right, you did. You can’t have us both, Kade. Ashley causes nothing but fucking problems for us. She wants you, and you are too fucking stupid to realize it. You always take her side over everything. One day, Kade, you will finally realize I’ve been right all along.”

Kade tries to pull me into his arms, but I shove him off.

“Well, I never thought I’d say this, Kade, but you have to choose, me or her. And while you decide, I’m going back to my
boyfriend
.” When I say the word boyfriend, Kade looks like he just lost his whole world, and I try not to let that bother me. He did this. I’m about to make my way past him when he stops me with a hand on my hip.

“You can’t mean that. I love you, Nikki, but I also can’t give up Ashley. I promised her brother I would always be there for her. Always. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t keep that promise?” he says, his eyes full of emotion.

“Then I guess you made your choice.” I have tears in my eyes, but I’m determined not to let them fall.

“I’ll see you around, Kade,” I say softly, raking my gaze over him one last time before I walk off.

I take a few steps away, my breath hitching when I hear him call out, “Please, Nikki, don’t do this!”

I ignore him and make my way back to my seat. Ryder is already into his first song and I didn’t even notice. Fuck. He beams at me when he sees me watching and I give him a little wave.

Then I down my drink in two gulps.

Chapter Forty Four

KADE

Nikki is dating another man. Ryder. My fists clench to deal with the pain in my gut. The thought of another man with her... It kills me. The way this whole situation played out was my fault. I know that. But I had no idea that she would try to move on. The fact that she has turned her back on us hurts like crazy, and I can’t believe that I pushed her to this point.

I feel like screaming. I have no idea how everything got so out of control. How things got so damn fucked up. I close my eyes and exhale deeply. There is one thing I know for sure.

Nikki is mine, and I
will
get her back. There's no way she feels for Ryder what she does for me. I love her, and her dating Ryder is killing me.

NIKKI

I’m in the middle of some hardcore retail therapy when I literally bump into Ashley. Fuck! This week just keeps getting worse.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Kade’s trash,” she sneers gleefully at me.

I clench my fist, taking a deep, calming breath.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Kade’s little
friend,”
I sneer back at her, dragging out the friend part.

“We’re not just friends anymore. He has finally seen the light,” she says happily.

My stomach drops. I knew this would happen. God, it hurts.

“Whatever,” I mumble, starting to walk away from her before I end up punching her in the face.

“Wanna know a secret?” she says loudly. “Kade and I never slept together that night. I played up being upset about my brother, so I could spend the night in his bed.”

That’s it, I can’t do this. I start to walk away once more when she grabs my arm, and before I know it, I’ve reared up and punched her in the face. I hear a crunching sound and her hands fly to her face. “You fucking broke my nose,” she screams out. At least that’s what I think she said because it came out all muddled.

“I’m gonna enjoy fucking Kade tonight!” she adds. The woman doesn’t learn, does she? I turn around, planning on teaching her another lesson when I’m suddenly being lifted up by a pair or strong hands.

Kade.

He pulls me into him, but when I glance up at him, he’s staring at Ashley, an undefinable emotion in his eyes.

“I heard everything you said, Ashley,” he says in a strong, steady tone.

“Kade! I…”

“You’ve been like this to Nikki the whole time? I’ve never seen you be like this with anyone, and I’ve never known you to lie before. What the fuck, Ashley?” Kade interrupts.

She looks slightly ashamed for a moment. “I love you Kade, I always have. When you stopped fucking around, I thought that was my chance, but then I found out you were doing it for
her,
and I lost it. I need you, Kade.
Please
,” she whispers out the please. I kind of feel bad for her.

She really does love him.

“So this whole time, Nikki was right?” He’s shocked, and looks hurt by Ashley’s betrayal.

“Yes,” she mumbles. Oh wow, she’s telling the truth for once in her life. Kade lets go of me and walks over to Ashley.

“I never want to see you again, Ashley. I was your friend. I looked out for you. I promised your brother I’d always make sure you were ok. But this is a promise I’m going to have to break. I love Nikki. I want to marry her.” He takes a deep breath.

My heart skips a beat.

He walks away from Ashley, turning his back on her.

“Please, Nikki, come home with me. Let’s talk, work everything out,” he says in a solemn tone.

“No, Kade, I’m glad you finally know I was telling the truth, but you didn’t trust me, or believe me. You always chose her. I can’t be with you, I’m sorry. I wish you happiness, Kade. I love you, and I always will, but it’s just not enough anymore.”

I start crying as I walk away. I look back and see Ashley and Kade arguing. Kade loses it and punches a wall. I have to do this, I have to get over Kade once and for all.

Chapter Forty Five

KADE

I overheard everything Ashley said. Fuck. Nikki and James were right. I don’t even know this person Ashley has become. I walk over to Nikki, my eyes pleading with hers.

“Please, Nikki, come home with me. Let’s talk, work everything out,” I beg.

“No, Kade, I’m glad you finally know I was telling the truth, but you didn’t trust me, or believe me. You always chose her. I can’t be with you, I’m sorry. I wish you happiness, Kade. I love you, and I always will, but it’s just not enough anymore,” she tells me, and I swallow hard. This can’t be it. I need her. I love her. I watch as she walks away. Even when Damon died I never cried. I just lost the best thing to ever happen to me.

Fuck.

I walk back over to Ashley.

“I can’t believe this shit, Ashley! You must fucking hate me to do this to me. To make me lose her, fuck! I love her, Ashley! I fucking love her, I wanted to marry her, have children with her. I never thought you could be like this,” I hiss at her.

“No, Kade, she doesn’t love you. I love you! You'll always have me,” she says, almost begging.

I lose it. I punch the wall, my hand hurting like hell, but I could care less. I welcome the pain.

“Swear to god, Ashley, if I ever see you again, you will regret it.”

And with that I turn and walk away.

ASHLEY

The first time I met Kade was when I was just a little girl. He was best friends with my big brother Damon, and was always a part of my life. I used to try and tag along with them, but they would never let me. Still, they were always nice to me, making sure I was okay and no one was being mean to me in school. If I ever needed anything, both Damon and Kade would always have my back.

Come high school, I was a freshman, and Kade was a senior. He was the hottest guy in school. All the girls would talk about Kade and both of his brothers. The girls wanted to sleep with them and the boys wanted to be them. About half of those girls got their chance.

Kade was my brother’s friend, never anything more than that. Occasionally we’d all hang out. Any guy I went on dates with, Kade and Damon would threaten them, warn them that they better treat me right. As I got older, they would sometimes let me tag along with them, and although I think it was a drag for Damon, he never complained.

I couldn’t help but fall for Kade. He helped protect me from my mother. Every time she would beat me, he would let me stay with him for a bit. His family treated me like one of their own. Kade and I got closer once my brother enlisted and I thought that one day he would realize we were meant to be together. He made me feel safe and protected. After waiting and waiting, I was still stuck in the friend zone. He always fucked around with anything that had a vagina, except me. As the years passed, I started getting angry.

Bitter.

No matter how much I tried to get his attention, he just couldn’t see me. My self-esteem started taking a hit every time I would see him with some other girl, making me wonder what exactly was wrong with me. When Damon died, Kade and I got closer. He was always there for me, always. I grew to love him so much, and I hoped that one day I would be the only girl on his radar. That didn’t happen. After my mother died I went and did something drastic. I got new boobs, mine were a lousy A cup. Now I’m a nice full C cup. Add some liposuction as well as an extensive workout routine, and I felt like a whole new woman. I thought that maybe, with my new look, Kade would finally notice me.

He didn’t.

He didn’t look at me any different.

I don’t know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep over Kade. Once Layla came into the picture, my claws came out. Kade would talk so highly about her that I got jealous. It was always Layla this, or Layla that. He loved her like a sister, I could tell. It wasn’t just me anymore. I had been with both James and Chase, hoping to make Kade jealous, but it didn’t work. There was one night I tried to talk to him about us, but he brushed it off, saying he was so happy to have me in his life.

I was his best friend.

The real problems began when I heard about Nikki. The other women meant nothing to Kade. I knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it. Nikki was different. Suddenly Kade was actually considering getting a steady girlfriend and settling down. I turned into a different person then. Nikki was my breaking point. My hopes and dreams with Kade - Nikki was ruining them. I began to act like a total bitch. Catty, bitter, and jealous. Damon would be ashamed of the kind of person I became because he had raised me better.

I had loved Kade for so long, with all that I was, it just hurt so badly. I have never lied to Kade before, he knew me as an honest person. So whenever he would ask me about Nikki, I would say that it wasn’t true, that it was her lying because she was jealous of our friendship. That she wanted to be the only girl in his life, and she wanted me out. I tried so hard to break them up, but somehow they kept getting back together.

The night we were in bed together, I really was upset. It was the anniversary of Damon’s death, and I was sobbing my heart out. I always take this time of year hard, my brother was everything to me. I know that Kade does too, it wasn’t only me that needed comfort that night. When Nikki walked in and saw us, I couldn’t help but think how wonderful that worked out.

Now that Kade finally knows the truth about everything, I’m scared. I just lost not only the love of my life, but my best friend. Maybe one day we can fix our friendship. Nikki is actually perfect for Kade, I just didn’t want to see it. I want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me.

If only I saw that sooner.