Just to See You Smile (15 page)

“I'll call you later.”

“Joel, you don't have to be so attentive—”

“But I do.” The words flew out, as if they'd bypassed his mind. And they kept coming. “I don't have a choice in the matter. I can't remember what else it is I'm supposed to be doing.”

She closed her eyes and whispered, “Why?”

“I think you know why.”

“Adrenaline.”

If she hadn't opened those magnetic eyes of hers at that precise moment, he might have been able to agree with her and escape what he hadn't meant to start. “I don't think so.”

“Britte.” With that one syllable, Joel's voice conveyed anxiety, hope, and tenderness.

I never should have drunk that tap water! And to think I drank even more in the nurse's room!
Phone to her ear, she snuggled back against the pillows and pulled the down comforter up around her shoulders. It was Friday, and she was at the farm still, in her old bedroom. “Good morning.”

Silence hung between them. It was the first time they had ever spoken over the telephone. Britte suddenly thought what an awkward mode of communication it was and wondered why it was she had called him. She wanted to see his eyes. Was Wednesday night and yesterday all a dream? Were his eyes distant, his mind moving on to other tasks at hand?

He cleared his throat. “Given the fact that it's nine o'clock, I take it you're not coming in, Miss O?”

“I should have called sooner, but I just woke up.”

“Getting lazy, are we?”

“I don't know what it is. I went to sleep at noon yesterday!”

“It's called recovery. How are you?”

She hesitated. He had called twice last night, her mother said. But this was a school morning. “Joel, you're busy. I was only checking in—”

“I'm not too busy.” There were muffled noises indicating that he was walking. A door clicked shut. “Talk.”

She smiled at his “General's” tone. It meant he was serious. “Before I opened my eyes, I thought it was a bad
dream. Then I opened them and realized I wasn't at home. Then I replayed it all again.”

“Any new thoughts?”

“No. I just want it to go away.”

“It takes time. You'll have to be patient, a virtue I don't imagine you're very comfortable exercising.”

“That's a rather impertinent assumption!”

He chuckled. “One of my specialties. Seriously, I know you well enough to realize that not being able to work is probably more difficult to endure than the injuries. Speaking of which, how are they?”

“Well, I don't hurt as much. The swelling's down, but the purple has spread, so now I have a black eye. I need to come to practice at noon today.”

“No, you're not allowed back here yet.”

“But Anne and Tanner are both working. They can't do it, and with the tournament next week—”

“We've got it covered.”

“Did you move it to later? I promised the team they could have Friday night off.”

“We didn't move it.”

“You didn't cancel it!”

“You're sounding
much
better, Miss O.”

“This is my team we're discussing! I can't entrust them to just anyone.”

“How about to me?”

“You! Joel, you don't have the time to coach a practice.”

“It's on my calendar. I'm serious. So, what do you say? Trust me to do an okay job?”

“Of course I trust you to do that, but I can't ask you—”

“You didn't. Britte, I want to do this.” He paused. “For you. If you'll let me.”

Suddenly, conversing by telephone didn't feel all that awkward. It felt downright intimate. “Okay, I'll let you. On one condition. Don't call them girls. They're ladies.”

“Got it, Miss O. Anything else?”

“Nothing I can think of at the moment. You know, your ‘way-cool' points will skyrocket with this one.”

“Whew! Am I glad to hear that! It's one of my top priorities.” Again, he paused. “How about my ‘way-cool' points with you?”

She thought a moment. “I must say, General, you've almost dug yourself out of the negative side.”

The delightful, rare sound of his unguarded laughter sang in her ear.

Britte climbed into her Jeep, hit the automatic door lock, and sat, parked inside her garage with its door down, its overhead light on. She hadn't come out to warm up the car before it was time to leave. No way was she opening the big door and turning on the engine until the very moment she was ready to back out and drive away.

She hesitated, shivering. Or shaking in terror? “Lord, I'm having a tough time here. I'm afraid of my own shadow.”

It was Sunday, late afternoon, Christmas Eve, and she was determined to make her first venture out alone. That morning her frightful face and aching body convinced her to go back to sleep instead of to church, but at least she had spent last night in her house, alone. Yesterday there had not been a practice, and so she stayed all day at the farm. Her parents accompanied her home after dinner. Dad had double-checked all the door and window locks. Somehow she had convinced Brady
to let her go it alone. The lumpy mattress in her spare bedroom probably influenced his decision.

Joel hadn't called after his Friday practice. Just as well. It saved her from having to convince him, too. Maybe he hadn't called because he understood she needed to face it alone and the sooner the better. Or maybe he hadn't called because Christmas break had officially started. He was probably leaving town. She didn't know the first thing about his family. At his age, he very likely had
children
somewhere. And an ex…

Her shoulders sagged. She hadn't thought of that.

But had she heard that he was divorced? No…only that he was single. Which didn't explain a whole lot when it came to divorce, separation, widowhood, unmarried fathers…

Of course, before…before the attack, his marital status or family background or Christmas plans hadn't mattered to her one way or the other.

“Oh, Lord!”

Goodness, enough with the despair.

“Jesus, thank You that I wasn't hurt more seriously. Please be with whoever did this. Let them know in some way that You love them. Thank You for knowing everything about me.” She closed her eyes. “Thank You for Joel. I don't know what I'm feeling, I just know I'm calling him by his first name so I must feel something! I give it all to You.” She was silent for a moment, struggling to truly let the fear go, to let the unnamed feelings go, and to let that familiar, supernatural peace find its way in again.

It didn't happen. She was still shaking.

“But it's a fact. I know You are here with me, taking it one step at a time.” She opened her eyes and punched the garage door opener. “Amen.”

She drove through the late afternoon dusk. It was a cold, cloudy Christmas Eve. Normally, she would be at her parents,
but this year was different. Ryan was at his girlfriend's. Brady was at some relative of Gina's with her parents. Megan was at her in-laws'. And, wonderful as the two days had been letting her mom fuss over her, enough was enough. The Olafssons would all be together tomorrow on Christmas Day. When Anne called last night and invited her to their home for Christmas Eve with the promise that Alec would take her home, Britte gratefully accepted.

She covered the few blocks quickly and parked on the long driveway near the garage. As she unloaded her vegetable casserole from the backseat, a car pulled in behind hers, its lights blinding her eyes. The Suttons' two large dogs tore across the front yard, barking.

Britte's heart rammed against her chest as if it would burst out.

The car door opened and a man climbed out. “Britte.” He approached.

“Ahh!” she yelled. The cry escaped in that split second that passed before she recognized him. “Joel! Don't do that! Oh!” Her tone was a squeal, beyond her control. Her heart didn't slow.

“I'm sorry! Holy cow, that was thoughtless. Here, let me take that.” He took the dish and held on to her arm.

“Whoa!” she exhaled loudly, and then she laughed. There was a touch of hysteria to it. “I guess I used up all my nerve just getting here.”

“I imagine you did.”

“You calling me chicken?”

“I wouldn't do that. Maybe a yellow-bellied, lily-livered coward.”

She laughed again. “That about sums it up. Samson, Madison,” she yelled at the dogs, “be quiet!” It felt good to shout. Her heartbeat was returning to normal.

“Come on, let's get inside.” He steered her across the lawn, the quiet dogs at their heels. “I didn't know you were coming.”

“I didn't know
you
were coming.”

Britte was torn between chewing out Anne for this setup and being glad that she had accepted her invitation.

They climbed the front porch steps, and Joel rang the doorbell.

Anne opened the door. “Joel!”

Alec peered over his wife's shoulder. “Britte!”

Joel turned to her and smiled. “Apparently they didn't know either.”

“Alec, how
could
you?” Anne went quickly along the upstairs hallway ahead of him and into their bedroom.

Carrying their guests' coats, Alec bit back a flippant retort asking her the same question. Anne was not on top of her game today. She swiveled on him now, hands on hips, mouth pursed, eyes glaring. He knew the signals. She desperately needed a hug. He laid the coats on the bed. “I didn't think you'd mind if I invited Joel. I'm sorry I forgot to mention it.” They hadn't exactly seen much of each other during the week.

“I don't mind, but Britte will! And after what she's just been through— Good heavens! She'll think I'm playing Cupid!”

He laughed. “You're joking! Just tell her the truth. You didn't know he was coming.”

“That doesn't change the fact that they're both here now! She'll be so uncomfortable. Did you know she called him the
‘General' to his face? Did you know she
reprimanded
him the other day?”

Alec couldn't help but grin. Joel's rendition hadn't included the “General” remark. “That's our Britte. She's been outspoken since she was a kid. Remember that she used to tell us how to raise Drew? What was she, 15?”

Anne only frowned at him.

“You're so cute when you're mad.”

“Don't change the subject.” Very un-Anne-like, her voice went up a notch. “What are you going to do about this?”

In reply, he dropped his right hand to the ground, bent his knees slightly, and grimaced at her.

“I'm serious!”

With a growl, he lunged and softly tackled her, grabbing her round the waist and lifting her off her feet and onto the bed.

“Let me up!” She pushed at his shoulder.

“Not until you smile. It's Christmas Eve, woman!”

“It's your fault.”

“I apologize. I'll take care of it. I won't let Joel near Britte.” He kissed her cheek, his lips brushing her face as he murmured, “You've been taking such good care of us, sweetheart.” He kissed the tiny scar at the corner of her mouth. “Throw in a full-time job, and you don't miss a beat. What can I do for you?” He kissed her until at last she slid her arms around his neck. And then he kissed her until he wished they didn't have company downstairs.

He came up for air and saw that her eyes were smoky gray. Their lovemaking had chased the blackness away. “I love you, Annie. Tell me what to do. I want you to enjoy the holidays.”

She looked him in the eye. “Clean the kitchen tonight. Totally. Without my help.”

Uh-oh.
That was a tough one. He detested cleaning the kitchen. There were so many details!

“I'm just tired, Alec. Beyond tired. And you haven't exactly been Mr. Mom this week.”

He winced. It was true. He had been at home instead of the office, but still Anne had found it necessary to stay up most nights until long past midnight, preparing for the holiday. She had worked at the store yesterday, Saturday. That schedule had kept her up until 3:00 A.M. in order to have time to go to church and be ready for tonight's guests. “I know. I'm food-prep and gift-wrap challenged. But I know how to clean up.”

“Until every dish and bit of food is put away and the countertops are washed? No sticky spots on the floor?” A single tear slid down her cheek. “If that doesn't happen, mister, tomorrow will be unbearable.”

He hugged her tightly. “Oh, sweetheart, why didn't you tell me?”