Just the Man She Needs (25 page)

Lord, how he loved her!

Felicia didn’t want Ashton to move from her. She wanted him to stay where he was, buried deep inside of her. But she knew that neither of them would rest, and a day of laborious work faced them.

“I don’t want to put my weight on you, but what I need is to relax in your arms. You’re one sweet woman.”

“You won’t be too heavy. I love holding you like this.”

“If you encourage me, I’ll probably wear your out,” he said, and she could feel him hardening within her. He gripped her hips and her shoulder and drove her to climax, and when relief came, he dragged from her everything, including that little treasure of herself that she had always retained, even with him. Her limbs had turned to rubber, and her willpower was nonexistent.

Exhausted from her emotions, tears trickled down her cheeks. No more. She wanted no more teases of what it could be like to live with him always.

“You’re crying?” he asked, his voice trembling with obvious concern.

“Yes, but I’m not sad, or I think I’m not. I’m just…shook up. It’s as if I don’t have anything left of myself.”

“You’re not alone in that feeling, sweetheart.”

“Have you thought about what will happen when we leave here?” She knew the question would drive a wedge, however small, between them, but the thought haunted her and she had to ask, even at the expense of cooling his ardor.

“Is it worrying you?” he asked her.

She answered truthfully. “I don’t know how I’ll feel not seeing you every day or eating my breakfast and dinner with you. I think I got used to you.”

“Is that good or bad?”

She didn’t feel like emptying her mind for his benefit, much as she loved him. Her soul was her own, or it had been. “It just is,” she answered, knowing that that wouldn’t satisfy him.

“Are you suggesting that we live together? I thought you said shacking up—as you phrased it—was out of the question.”

“It is. I don’t believe in make-believe marriage, or in trial marriage which is foolish ‘because total commitment isn’t here.’”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.”

She didn’t want to talk about their future, she realized, because she didn’t know what she’d say if he proposed marriage. She loved him, and she knew she would love Teddy, but was she ready to be a mother? She wanted children in the worst way, but shouldn’t she stay home with them? She knew she wasn’t ready to be a housewife. Each time, Ashton had been careful to protect her from pregnancy. Had he done that for her or for him?

“What’s the problem? What is it? You seem so…so concerned.”

She tried to smile. “You’re messing up my mind.”

He ignored the comment, as if he knew it was a sham. “Will you go home with me to Rose Hill to meet my family?” he asked her, staring down in her face and reading her every unvoiced emotion. What on earth made him ask her that?

“If you want me to,” she heard herself reply. “I don’t think I can go within the next ten days, because I’ll have some catching up to do.”

He held her closer, almost possessively. “I want you to meet my folks, and I can fly us there and back one Sunday if that’s all the time you have to spare.”

Don’t screw up, girl. This man is talking business. You know you’d lose it if he walked out, so let him know how you feel. This is it.

“I hope we can at least spend the night there,” she said, and she could feel his body relax in her arms.

“Let’s plan to go weekend after next. I have a board meeting next Friday, so next weekend is out, and I suppose that, after ten days away from home and work, you’ll need that time for a variety of things. I’m hoping that Cade and Damon will be home that weekend.”

“Should I be nervous about meeting Cade? When I talked with him I got the impression that he can be formidable.”

He inclined his head slightly to the right and appeared thoughtful. “Cade’s a real pussy cat, unless you’re stupid enough to yank his tail. Then you’re on your own. But why should you worry about
him?
I’m your man.”

“He’s important or you wouldn’t want me to meet him. Who’s bigger? You or Cade? I noticed that Damon is about half an inch shorter that you.”

“Cade and I are about the same height, but he’s around five pounds heavier. What Cade thinks is important to me, because he’s my brother and I love him, but his opinions aren’t gospel to me by a long shot. My family is warm and loving, Felicia.” He separated them and lay on his left side. “Since my parents died, my brothers and granddad have been my family. Granddad will love you, because he adores pretty women.”

She couldn’t help laughing at that. “Still?”

“Absolutely. But he also likes women who are intelligent and accomplished. He was deeply fond of my mother because he didn’t have a daughter, and when my dad married her, Granddad accepted her as his child.” He rolled over on his back and locked his hands behind his head. “I miss my parents’ warmth and the loving environment they created for us. I want that for myself.”

The words seemed to fall lightly from his lips, but she wasn’t fooled; he’d just told her something that was of singular importance to him. “You’re blessed, Ashton. My father remarried the day his divorce from my mother became final. His philandering behavior did not encourage me to have confidence in men. Miles isn’t like him, thank God. He’s always been my cornerstone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. It’s too bad that the first man you became involved with proved to be just like your father.”

“Right,” she said, “except that he also lied about his marital status. Tell you what, I’ll bake your granddad a cake and bring it with me to Rose Hill,” she said without thinking, for she wanted to change the subject as quickly as possible. “Or maybe he’d rather have some cookies.”

“If you take him a caramel cake, he’ll be your slave forever. I can find a recipe if you want one.”

“Thanks, but I can almost make one with my eyes closed.”

“He’s going to be a happy man,” Ashton said, then leaned over and kissed her. “I know it’s cramped, and you said you didn’t want to get into the habit of sleeping with me, but I want to sleep with you in my arms.” He fell over on his back and pulled her on top of him. When she spread her legs, he eased into her, and she put her head on his chest and went to sleep. Minutes after she awoke the next morning, she exploded into orgasm.

Two weeks later, at home and fully recovered, Ashton dressed himself and Teddy in light gray suits, gray shirts and yellow ties. He’d have preferred to travel in a pair of jeans, but Felicia was their guest, and he figured the best way to teach his son was by showing him. He parked the rented car in front of the apartment building in which Felicia lived, tipped the doorman to watch it and, a few minutes later, rang Felicia’s doorbell.

She opened the door, and Teddy shrieked, “Miss Felicia, I didn’t know I was coming to your house.”

Ashton gazed in astonishment as she knelt and Teddy dashed into her arms. “Miss Felicia, I told Daddy I wanted you to come stay with us, but he said you couldn’t.”

He wanted to say, “Don’t hold him so tightly,” but Teddy obviously enjoyed her embrace and hugged her just as tightly.

“I’m not jealous, dammit,” he said to himself, “but they could at least acknowledge the fact that I’m here.” She attempted to stand, holding Teddy as she did so, but the child was too heavy, and he leaned down and raised her to her feet. He didn’t know why he did it, but he enclosed both of them in his embrace and kissed Felicia’s lips. Teddy looked from one to the other, turned and duplicated his father’s act.

“I love Miss Felicia, Daddy. Can she go with us to see Granddad?”

“She can, and she will,” he said, easing Teddy from her arms. “You’re too heavy for her to hold, son.”

“I like it, Daddy.”

“Who wouldn’t?” he said under his breath. “I certainly do.”

I
n the backseat of the limousine en route to La Guardia Airport, Teddy sat between Felicia and his father, but Ashton couldn’t help noticing that the child leaned toward Felicia.
Damned if I’m not going to have to sit by myself on the plane. I can see Teddy raising a ruckus if he can’t sit with Felicia.

“What is it about you that’s so attractive to Underwood men?” he asked her, half serious and half teasing. “My son is enamored with you.”

Her smile held that enigmatic quality that made the
Mona Lisa
famous. “We were attracted to each other from the get-go,” she said. “I think we simply fell in love with each other.”

He turned and gazed down at her. “Who do you mean? You and him or you and me?”

She laid her head to one side and let her gaze peruse him. “Him and me. I thought you came into our relationship kicking and screaming.” Her face had the look of one totally innocent of what she was, or was about to be, accused. She patted his hand, soothingly, as a mother would a child. “But you got your act together, didn’t you?”

“You pick a fine time to get fresh with me,” he said. She had a way of yanking his chain at times when he couldn’t give her her comeuppance, like now with Teddy sitting between them. “If you don’t want it spread around,” he said to her, “don’t let
him
hear it.”

“Gosh, I guess that takes some getting used to.”

“It definitely does. Even speaking in code doesn’t help. This is what I call the rubber sponge age when kids absorb everything. It’s also a great time to teach them.”

“Daddy, is Miss Felicia going to stay with us at Granddad’s house?”

“Yes, she is.”

“Gee. Can I stay with her? You can stay with Granddad or Uncle Cade.”

“We will accept whatever arrangements Granddad makes.”

The limousine arrived at La Guardia Airport, and the driver got out and opened the door for Felicia and Teddy. “If your plans change or your plane is late, sir, just give me a call. I’ll be here when you arrive.”

“Thanks, Bob. See you Sunday,” Ashton said. For the last seven years, he’d been what anyone would consider very wealthy, but he had yet to take for granted the numerous conveniences available to him, and he didn’t want a woman whose principal sport was lolling in luxury. He wanted a woman who…He nearly lost his breath. He wanted Felicia, and he wanted her for the rest of his life. He looked back, thinking that Teddy dragged behind, and shook his head in amazement when he saw that the boy walked hand in hand with Felicia.

He thought about that as he drove the rented car from Frederick Municipal Airport to Rose Hill. The quiet in the backseat gave him license to let his mind roam, and roam it did. After watching Felicia do a man’s job for ten days, he’d come to terms with her popularity and the fame-seekers who trailed her, because he now knew that it wasn’t a part of her, that she neither needed nor sought it. She said she wanted children, and he believed her, but to be sure that she meant it, he would ask her each time if she wanted him to use protection. From the rearview mirror, he saw that Teddy was asleep in her lap with his head on her breast, and on her sleeping face was the most serene expression he’d ever seen on a woman. He parked in front of his family home, turned and feasted his eyes on the sight of his child asleep in the arms of the woman he loved.

“Planning to sit here the rest of the day?”

Ashton jerked his head around at the sound of Cade’s voice, got out of the car and embraced his younger brother. “You’re looking great, man,” he said. “I’d better wake them up.”

Cade’s eyelid dropped in a signifying wink. “Yeah. That picture back there is enough to make a man think. I gather Teddy’s in love with her.”

“Looks like it.” He walked around to the side of the car on which Felicia sat with Teddy in her arms. “I can’t imagine Teddy sleeping during midday,” he told Felicia. “Neither Eartha nor I can get him to take a nap. He’ll just lie in bed and play with his toys or the computer. You’ve got magic, woman.” He held Teddy in one arm, and put his other one around her.

“Cade, this is Felicia Parker.”

“So I gather. I’m happy to meet you at last, Felicia. Welcome to our family home.” He kissed her cheek, turned and looked at Ashton, his face covered with a rougish smile. “Man, is Granddad going to love this woman!”

“And I’m delighted to meet you, Cade. Why is your grandfather going to love me?”

Cade’s grin broadened. “Well, he likes good-looking women, and he especially likes brainy and accomplished women. You’re the perfect package.”

“Thanks.”

“I sure hope you’re right,” Ashton said. “By the way, how’s Leslie getting on?” He looked around and didn’t see Teddy. “Wh—”

“He ran inside,” Felicia said. “I felt as if I’d been deserted.”

“Not to worry,” Cade said. “Teddy knows where to get ice cream.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Ashton said to Cade. “I assume she’s still here.”

Cade ran the backs of his fingers over his hair. It was a strange trait, and no one in the family could understand why he did it. “Oh, yes,” he said. “She’s very much here.” He fell into step beside Felicia, and they walked up the walkway to the house. “You’ll meet her this evening, Felicia.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” she said. “Uh…I have a feeling that Leslie is important to you. Is she?”

“I think so, but I haven’t sorted it all out yet. Maybe you and I can talk about this another time.”

“Yes, of course. If you’d like,” she said, and Ashton knew then that his brother had been waiting for an opportunity to talk with Felicia about Leslie. He wondered what the problem could be, but he didn’t intend to bring up the subject. If Cade wanted his advice, he only had to ask.

Holding Teddy’s hand, Jake opened the door as his two grandsons and Felicia walked up the steps of his modern, five-bedroom home. He often said he’d get lost in the house if he hadn’t worn a path from the master bedroom, where he slept, to the kitchen, dining room and front door.

He stood tall and erect with his right hand on his hip. “Well. It’s high time I met you, Felicia,” he said, opened his arms to her, and she walked into them and hugged him. “I’d begun to wonder if my elder grandson had any sense at all,” he said with his arm still around her. His grin, so like Ashton’s, eclipsed his face. “You’re as beautiful as you are smart, and from what Teddy tells me, you have a way with little boys.”

“I’m happy to meet you, too, sir,” she said. “I hear you’ve got a sweet tooth, so I made you something.”

Jake hugged her. “If my grandson doesn’t get his act together, I’ll throttle him.” He opened the box. “Felicia, I’d turn somersaults for this.” His joy at receiving the cake spread over his face in a brilliant smile. With a grin still shining on his face, he embraced Ashton. “Thank you for bringing Felicia to me. How are you, son?”

He didn’t know why, but he felt the way he did all those years ago when his professors examined him for his M.B.A. degree. “I’m well. There’re one or two things outstanding, but they ought to straighten out in a week or so.”

“Barber-Smith?”

“That’s the fly in the ointment, but I’m doing my best to stave them off.”

“Good. Let me know if I can help you further.” Cade and Teddy left Jake and Ashton and took Felicia with them. “She’s more than I hoped for, son. She isn’t merely beautiful and brainy, she’s a warm, sweet and feminine woman. Take care with this relationship.”

“I’m trying to, Granddad. My only reservation now is that fame-seekers follow her hoping for mention in her column, and even that’s becoming less important in view of her other assets. But, gosh, it’s impossible to have a peaceful dinner with her in a reasonably good New York restaurant. I got fed up with it.”

“If she doesn’t encourage it, you can’t blame her,” Jake said. “And you don’t have to eat in Twenty-One. Find some good restaurants in Westchester or Queens. Is that all? Do you love each other?”

“Oh, yes. That, we do.”

Jake patted Ashton’s shoulders. “Then don’t waste time. Teddy’s crazy about her, and in matters such as this, children are not easily fooled. You have my blessings.”

At seven o’clock, Ken, who cooked and kept house for Jake and Cade, announced that dinner would be ready in half an hour. Felicia hadn’t thought that suburbanites dressed for dinner, so she’d brought a red silk jumpsuit to wear at the evening meal and was glad she did. Leslie Fields, the riding instructor who seemed to have captured Cade’s heart, arrived in a green one, albeit of a different fabric and style. She liked Leslie at once, for it was obvious that the woman didn’t waste time competing with other women either for attention or for the favors of men.

She created an opportunity to speak with Leslie, pretending that her zipper seemed caught. “This is a wonderful environment,” Felicia said to Leslie. “It seems a century from New York with its noise and stress.”

“Yes,” Leslie agreed. “In a way, I’ll be sorry when the summer ends and I have to go back to the university. Sometimes, I’ve a good mind to stay here. Until I took this job, I’d never heard a mockingbird sing, never seen a firefly, had a squirrel eat from my hand, or felt water running over my feet in a brook.”

“Does Cade have anything to do with this nostalgia?”

“Of course, he does,” Leslie said, showing a disdain for coyness. “He’s a wonderful man, and we tiptoe around each other as if we’re avoiding land mines, but both of us know the day will come when we’ll get together, and believe me, it will be a powerful explosion.”

“What’s holding the two of you back?” Felicia asked her.

“I think it’s because we’re a lot alike. Both of us need to be certain, because we know that once we start it, it will never go away.”

“Would you be upset with me if I told Cade this?”

“Good Lord, no, I wouldn’t. I’d be happy if you did. I need to know whether I’m misplacing my feelings for him, and I—I need him.” She looked at her unpainted, but well-buffed fingernails. “You and Ashton are in love.” It was statement, not a question.

“Yes. We are, and that’s why Ashton brought me to meet Cade and his granddad. I’ve met Damon.”

“Let’s go back in there. Maybe you and I will see a lot more of each other. I sincerely hope so,” Leslie said.

Felicia stopped. “Do you have any more reservations about your relationship with Cade? I mean, is there more that you need but aren’t getting?”

“A lot,” Leslie said, “but I can’t send that message by you, if you get what I mean.”

“I do, and I’m sure that, given the opportunity, you’ll take care of that. Sometime, you have to shake them up. If you have to wait too long,
make
the opportunity. Come on.”

“Do you have any little boys for me to play with, Miss Leslie?” Teddy said as soon as they sat down at the table. “Miss Felicia doesn’t have any.”

“No, I don’t, darling. I wish I did.”

“Maybe my daddy can get some for you. Can you, Daddy?”

“I know he’s clever,” Cade said, “but I’d rather he wasn’t
that
clever.”

“Do you want to go to the zoo with me again sometime, Teddy?” Felicia asked the boy, hoping to distract his attention. She wasn’t accustomed to Cade’s candidness, but the other adults at the table showed no surprise. Both Ashton and Leslie smiled their thanks for her intervention.

“Oh, yes,” Teddy said, “and can we take Miss Eartha?” She assured him that they could.

After supper, Cade went over to Felicia, spoke softly and then said out loud, “Brother, you don’t mind if I take a short stroll with your girl, do you? I haven’t had a chance to talk with her.”

They walked out to the garden, and it didn’t surprise her when he stopped at a place where they would be in full view of the other adults. “Do you love my brother?” he asked without preliminaries.

Taken aback, but understanding that the man was forthright and plainspoken, she answered truthfully. “Yes. I love him.”

“I ask because I can see that he loves you, and deeply, too. I won’t ask what your intentions are, because you may not have told Ashton, but you’re the woman for him. He knows it, too, because he’s never brought another one to this house.”

“Somehow, I suspected that,” she said.

“What about Teddy? He’s a part of the deal, you know.”

“I know. If he weren’t, I’d have a hard time respecting Ashton. Teddy comes first with him, and that’s as it should be. He’s such a precious child.”

“Then you’re satisfied with Ashton, even though you’d have to share him with Teddy?”

“Cade, I love Teddy and he loves me. I will love him no matter what happens between Ashton and me.”

“Ashton is a lucky man. I’m happy for him.”

“You could be just as lucky.”

Cade’s eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean?”

“Leslie cares for you, and she’s perplexed that you don’t make a move, although you want her. Do you fear loving someone? Don’t be afraid, Cade. I never knew who I was until Ashton held me in his arms. I walked alone, lived alone, and then I saw
him.
When he held me, his touch was so intense, so electrifying like…like the sight of the sound of thunder and…and the sight of lightning streaking through the sky. It’s an unbelievable feeling to hold and be held by the one you love. I bloomed like a flower opening to the morning. Don’t let it pass you by, Cade.”