Just Stay (13 page)

"Lots of things," he says. "Can't think of anything right now."

Seb frowns.

"Nothing?" he asks, and Evan shrugs. "There must be something you like."

Evan looks at him.

"Nothing that immediately comes to mind," he says, before moving closer. "Or maybe I could think of a few things."

Seb notices the slight drop in his voice, and he scans Evan's face with his eyes.

"Like what?" he says, and Evan moves his hand to Seb's waist, eyes fixed on his, before looking at his mouth.

"You," Evan says, making Seb's heart skip a beat, both from surprise and joy. "I really like you."

It's funny how Seb seems to de-age about five years when he hears that; suddenly, he feels like a fumbling, shy sixteen-year-old, shocked at being the object of someone's affections. But he isn't sixteen anymore, and he isn't that shy, fumbling guy anymore (well, not nearly as much, anyway), and it doesn't render him speechless for more than two seconds.

"That's good," he says, his own voice dropping slightly. "Nice to know we're on the same page."

Evan moves even closer, his hand slipping in underneath Seb's t-shirt. And just like that, whatever spark Seb managed to douse in the past few minutes just flares back to life, and Evan is sure to have noticed. At least, judging from the way his green eyes suddenly seem to light up, focused and hungry.

Seb swallows, a hint of nervousness creeping up on him. But why is he nervous? He has nothing to be nervous about. He has been in situations like this before, even if never with a guy―the basics are pretty simple and pretty much the same.

But this is Evan.
Evan
. And Evan makes him nervous.

Seb tries to breathe evenly as Evan smoothes his hand over his back, underneath his t-shirt, tries to stay calm. But then Evan kisses him, and Seb closes his eyes, surrendering. He grips Evan's button-up shirt with his fingers, as the two of them press closer together.

Seb inhales deeply, as Evan moves his lips down along his neck. He kisses his throat, his collarbone, his jaw line, tasting his skin and smoothing over those kisses with his tongue, just like before. And Seb grits his teeth, his eyes closed. Then Evan's fingers start undoing the fly of his jeans, and he tenses up.

For some reason, Seb's automatic response is to ask him to stop, but he immediately decides that the idea is stupid, and he therefore elects to ignore it. Instead, he lets out a moan, as Evan's hand slips in underneath his jeans, picking up where he left off just minutes ago. And there is no ramp-up this time; Seb is already hard, as though no time has passed at all between then and now.

Evan is taking it slow though, massaging him through his boxers, and Seb squeezes his eyes shut, his hand pressing against Evan's back, against the hard muscles that move beneath his skin and shirt. Those lips are still trailing over his neck and throat, planting one searing kiss after another, and just as Seb is too wrapped up in it all to notice anything else, Evan decides to slip his hand in underneath his boxers, as well.

Seb exhales loudly in surprise, as those fingers wrap around him, and it doesn't take more than a few seconds, before he simply digs his fingers into Evan's hair and pulls his mouth up to his own. He kisses him hungrily, earning a deep, rumbling moan from Evan, whose hand is doing a thorough job of bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

In fact, Seb realizes, as he loses himself in Evan and everything about him, that edge is right there, staring him in the face. And there is nothing stopping him, this time.

As though Evan can tell, he begins moving his hand at a faster pace, with an amount of pressure that's just right, and Seb grips his hair tightly, his breath heavy and fast.

"Seb." Evan rasps his name against his lips, slightly breathless, in between kisses. "Sebastian."

And that's it. In a sudden, blinding surge, Seb's entire body tenses up. He swears everything just stops for a moment, swears that Evan breathes his name again, as that amazing, blissful release finally comes. When he relaxes again, every muscle in his body has been reduced to jelly, and he feels his fingers loosen their grip on Evan's hair. He's breathing heavily, a slight ringing in his ears.

Evan is breathing heavily, too, and he watches Seb's face.

"Shit," Seb murmurs under his breath, closing his eyes. "
Shit.
"

"Good or bad shit?" Evan asks, and Seb frowns, even without opening his eyes.

"What do you think?" he says, and Evan chuckles, planting a kiss between his eyebrows, where the frown is.

"I think you're beautiful."

Chapter 10

Imperfect

There are so many cliché ways of describing love. Being
in love
. Seb has always found them to be just that―cliché. He has always kind of wondered why there seems to be only a limited variation when it comes to describing it in literature, in music, why it seems to be the same everywhere, in every era. Now he understands why; the feeling itself is universal and overwhelming, and nearly impossible to describe.

If he had seen his present self only a month or so ago, he would have been annoyed, to say the least. Because lately, Seb is constantly finding himself lost in thought, smiling to himself for no reason. Even in the middle of a lecture, eating lunch, standing in line somewhere, falling asleep... He suddenly always seems to have a reason to smile. And it doesn't take more than the slightest reminder of Evan for that to happen.

There was no need to tell Jake about what happened, about just how Seb's and Evan's relationship changed; he seemed to be fully aware of just what he interrupted that time, when he knocked on Evan's door. And the first time he actually saw Seb and Evan together after that, he was just the slightest bit awkward. But it passed quickly. Sophie was there too, and even though there wasn't exactly an announcement, it was pretty obvious that the dynamic between Evan and Seb had changed, and how. Seb remembers Sophie turning to Jake and nudging him pointedly, with a dimpled smile.

"Sophie is convinced that she called it from the start," Jake explained tiredly.

"I did!" Sophie exclaimed, still smiling, turning to Seb. "I'm just glad you finally did something about it."

Seb just shrugged, a bit uncomfortable at being the direct focus of someone's attention like that. But then Evan looked at Seb and squeezed his hand, and every ounce of discomfort completely vanished.

It has been almost two weeks since they became a couple; the word still sounds weird to Seb, as he's still trying to wrap his head around the concept of Evan being his boyfriend. Even though they haven't exactly gone official about it, it feels natural, comfortable, almost like they have always been together, and as the two of them hang out at Jake's place one day, it doesn't even feel weird.

Evan and Seb are sitting on the couch, watching a movie that held Sophie's and Jake's attention for about twenty minutes, before they started packing again. They are moving in together, seeing as how Jake's dorm room is no bigger than Seb's, and Sophie already practically lives there, anyway. So they're packing for their planned move to an apartment not too far away, just on the edge of campus, and watching a movie was meant to distract them from that for a while. It seems to be doing nothing whatsoever, though, and Seb glances up at them.

"You're missing the best part," he says, and Jake gave him a look.

"Dude," he says, "I'm not missing anything, trust me. Evan's made me watch it about a thousand times, already."

"Because it's a classic," Evan says defensively, stuffing popcorn in his mouth.

"There's nothing classic about
The Crow
, Evan," Jake says, earning an outraged look from his brother.

"Isn't there, though?" Seb says sagely, raising his eyebrows, and Evan cocks his head at him, eyes on Jake, as though saying
see?
Jake shakes his head.

"You gotta to stop backing him up on these things," he says, pointing at Seb.

"I shall stop nothing," Seb says, taking a handful of popcorn, using the hand that isn't currently locked together with Evan's. "Especially not when it comes to movies and truth."

Evan smiles proudly, giving Jake a smug look. And Jake just shakes his head again, while Sophie stands there, just smiling at the whole thing.

Seb munches on some popcorn, watching Eric Draven kick some ass on the TV, while Jake and Sophie keep packing. Evan is sitting in the corner of the couch, one leg up on the cushions and the other over the edge, and Seb is half-lying in the V of his legs, leaning with his back against Evan's chest. Their right hands are resting on Seb's stomach, fingers entwined, popcorn bowl precariously placed on the edge of the tiny coffee table, not too far away.

"Oh, I had almost forgotten about this," Sophie suddenly says, and Seb glances over at her. She's going through one of Jake's dresser drawers―
her
drawer, Seb guesses―and she has found a scarf, which she holds up in front of her. "Not sure if I should keep it or not."

"Well," Jake says diplomatically, but with a certain edge to his voice that sounds very relationship-y. "If you actually forgot that you had it, maybe you won't miss it."

"I said
almost
," Sophie points out, and Jake gives her a look which Seb has very aptly come to call his
bitchface
. "And it's really cute."

She puts on the scarf, a sheer, pastel pink, and looks in the mirror.

"I used to wear it a lot with this dress, actually," she says, putting her hands on her hips. Her dress is a different pastel shade, and it ends just above her knees. "Although..."

She scrunches up her face in thought, before turning around.

"What do you think?" she asks. "With or without?"

She twirls experimentally, and Jake and Seb both shrug uninterestingly. Seb has never been much for stuff like that, anyway, and he senses that Jake isn't, either. Evan glances up at her briefly, though, before flicking his eyes back to the TV.

"Looks better without," he says, mouth full of popcorn, making everyone, including Seb, just stop and stare at him. It takes Evan several seconds to realize why.

"Oh god," he says, sounding appalled. "I can't believe I just said that."

Jake smiles, in a way that's equal parts smug and amused.

"Evan, giving fashion advice," he says. "How gay of you."

"I'm not gay," Evan automatically responds, though not the least bit defensive, and Seb raises his eyebrows at him.

"Really, Evan?" he says, sounding incredibly doubtful as he pointedly looks down at their entwined fingers and the way Seb is practically lying in Evan's lap. Then he looks up at Evan again, cocking his eyebrows. "
Really?
"

Sure, the closest definition of Evan's sexuality would probably be bisexual, just like with Seb, but that's besides the point, right now. Seb just needs to tease.

He sounds almost serious for a moment, but he smiles when Evan glares at him, the slightest flush on his cheeks.

"You're the exception," Evan mumbles, as though a bit awkward about Jake being there to hear him say something like that. But he still plants a soft kiss on Seb's lips, and Jake chuckles.

"Aww," he teases. "That's adorable."

"Shut your hole, Jake," Evan says, shooting him a look. But he says it softly enough for Jake to simply shake it off and keep that smug, amused smile on his face, and the way Evan is slightly blushing all of a sudden does make his words much less intimidating.

"Jake," Sophie scolds with a smile, slapping her boyfriend's upper arm with her hand. "Be nice to your brother."

Jake just gives her a look that says
what did I do?
, and Sophie shakes her head, turning to the mirror. She angles herself to get a good look, before taking off the scarf around her neck. She tilts her head.

"He's right, though," she says. "It does look better without."

"No, it doesn't," Evan says, a bit frantically, as Jake turns to him with a big smile on his face, the kind he has reserved for teasing his big brother. "I'm not right. Stop it."

But Jake just laughs quietly, and Seb can't help but smile. Then Evan nudges him.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" he says, accusing, but Seb just raises his eyebrows at him.

"I am," he says. "She just happens to be right. And you're really fun to mess with."

He says it matter-of-factly, and Evan glares at him, making Jake laugh harder.

"I hate you," Evan mutters, and Seb smiles.

"I know," he says, lifting up Evan's hand to kiss it, still keeping their hands locked together. And that's all it takes for those green eyes to soften, and to make Seb feel completely at ease.

"So," Evan says, turning to his brother. "You guys need a hand with moving your stuff?"

Jake gets a weird look on his face, but covers it up quickly.

"No, we're good," he says, and Evan frowns.

"Really?" he says. "'Cause you can use my baby if you want."

Seb rolls his eyes, but smiles simultaneously; Evan's irrational affection for his car is both ridiculous and adorable.

"No, really," Jake assures him. "We've got it covered."

Evan looks at him suspiciously.

"How?" he says, and Jake glances at Sophie. They both look a bit uncomfortable, but Jake is worse.

"Well," he says after a few moments, turning back to Evan. He seems reluctant to tell him. "I talked to dad, and... he offered to help."

Seb can feel Evan tense up, can feel every muscle in his body suddenly go rigid. Even his grip on Seb's hand tightens a bit.

"What?" he says, and Jake looks even more uncomfortable.

"Look," he says. "I know it doesn't make a difference. But he wanted to help, so... I figured we'd let him."

Evan doesn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Dad's coming here?" he finally says, sounding oddly tense. Jake half-shrugs in confirmation.

"Yeah," he says. Seb can't really tell if he's more uncomfortable about their father coming, or Evan's reaction to it. "This weekend."