Just Roll With It: a Just Us novel (39 page)

My first step in making progress was realizing I was not okay with being stuck where I was at. I gave myself permission to get better.

I also finished the semester on the Dean's list. I finished. I'm all done. We walk for the graduation ceremony next Saturday. I say we because Roman and I planned our classes in a way to let us graduate together. He's been taking this "doing everything together" thing very seriously.

"So, that's why you call me Bug, huh? Why didn't you just tell me. I might've remembered."

"Babe, you don't remember now, you wouldn't have remembered."

"So. Maybe I wouldn't have thought your nickname for me was so weird."

"Did you think it was weird anyway?"

"No, but what if—"

"I should've told you, all right. It's not a big deal, though. You only really met me once. You never saw me afterward, and I didn't exactly have the balls to get your attention back then."

"You didn't have the balls now."

"Do so!"

"Naw, boy, naw. I totally asked you out first."

"To coffee, at break, with other people. Not the same."

"Well, I made the first move. You might not have ever talked to me if I hadn't."

"I feel like we've had his fight before, and I totally would have."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Having to look at you in class everyday was consuming every aspect of my life, it was only a matter of time before I would've cracked."

"Like an egg," I state, as I bop him on the nose with a finger.

"You're such a dork. The weird stuff that swirls around up inside that head of yours."

His comment jogs a memory of mine, and I smile to myself.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just something my grandpa said."

He cups my chin with one hand and gently turns my face so we are eye to eye.

"Your grandpa's words are certainly not nothing," he says, guttural and serious.

"You're right, it was something. It was actually the very last words he ever spoke to me."

"Wow. You never told me what that was," he says, his voice thick, before squaring his jaw and taking a breath, preparing himself for what's sure to be a heavyhearted sentiment.

"He looked at me and said—" I pause for suspense "—‘Rigbee, men are dipshits’."

Roman's eyes widen, but he remains silent, not knowing what kind of reaction he's supposed to have, and not knowing where I'm going with this.

"Then he told me your head was in your ass." I giggle softly at the memory. "But, your heart was in the right spot at least."

"You’re kidding? No shit?" He sounds surprised and thoughtful. Appearing almost proud when the corners of his mouth slightly turn up. He shakes his head softly, shrugs, and grunts out a, "Huh."

"Not kidding. Those really were his last words to me," I tell him.

"He was right."

"Yes. He was." 

Today is graduation day. Today is the day. I have to admit I'm more goddamn nervous than I thought I'd be. I look ridiculous in this robe. It's got to go. As soon as we get to Rigbee's parents’ for the after party, I'm ripping it off. It's hot as shit too. My hands are so sweaty and I keep wiping them on the material, making me look about as anxious as I am.

When I notice the various flags meant to mark separate seating sections, I realize we won't be together for the ceremony. We're in different degree schools.

I put my hands back in my pockets and sigh in grief. Or relief. Everything is fine, I concede, because now we can focus on the whole graduating thing then.

Rigbee's section is called up to get their diplomas first. This is the part I was waiting for. Watching her walk up with a big smile on her face, knowing how proud she feels right at this very moment. I couldn't give a crap about this part. I didn't feel the insistent need to show everyone I'm done with school now.

I didn't walk in our high school ceremony because I was out of state for paintball, so my parents were excited when I told them how I planned on participating this time. They were, without fail, shocked. They didn't think I would, and I wouldn't have, but given the situation with Rigbee and all, it just worked out. So I'll give them this. Let them be the proud parents and fawn all over me. Just for today.

This part, though, this part is the gold. She walks back toward her seat, but pauses to look at me first. She puckers her lips and gives me an air kiss and then winks at me before she sits back down. Sharing her moment makes having to wear this god-awful cap and gown worth it.

They call my subject, and everyone in the row stands up, myself included. I take my hands out of my pockets and I walk. I walk for my parents, I walk for Bug, and I have to admit, a small part walks for me too.

When I hear Rigbee shout and whistle for me, I can't help but give everyone the smile they want. Then, of course, both my parents and her mom join in the clapping. This isn't so bad, I suppose.

I catch Rigbee on her way up to her old bedroom. She's going up to change her clothes. I'm about ready to tear this gown off, so I use it as an excuse to go up with her. When we walk into the room, she closes the door behind us. My hands shake, and I fumble with the slick fabric when I yank the robe to get it off.

She is much more graceful when she does it, smoothly slipping out like she would some silk piece of lingerie. I go still, standing there with my hand in my pocket, and watch. When she's done, she glances my way. When I don't do anything but stare, she simply smiles and starts to walk past me out the door. I reach my hand out and grab her arm to stop her. Pulling her back toward me, my eyes never leave hers once.

She's not confused in the slightest by this. She thinks I'm trying to take the moment to steal a kiss or cop a feel, so she waits for me expectantly. Still without taking my eyes from hers, I kneel down to my knee.

Her smile slips as her expression transforms into an incredulous excitement. The shock of it all only lasts a moment before her whole face lights up and an even bigger smile appears. I finally pull out the box I've been carrying in my pocket throughout the entire graduation ceremony, and I open it.

It's her grandma's wedding ring set, the one her grandpa proposed with. I asked her mom about it a while ago. She grabbed Joe and they went and got it out and plopped it in my hand right then, no questions asked.

I tried to give it back, at first, because I was only just beginning to think about it and not quite ready. But she pushed it at me and threatened my life, then she told me I needed the time to get it sized anyway. So, I did. Now with her grandpa gone, I really hope it'll mean as much as I think it will.

"Rigbee, will you marry me?"

She doesn't say yes. She doesn't say anything, but she's crying and smiling and then she jumps up on me. Her arms fold around my neck with her legs around my waist, I hug her hips tight to keep her there. I sigh in relief and rest my chin on her shoulder. There's no way this reaction means no.

A sudden noise in the hall strangles the silence and we're brought back to reality right before the door gets thrown open.
Damn, I knew I should've locked the door.
Rigbee's mom pops her head in.

"What's going on in herrr … oh, I see. Well, I'll just let you two get back to it then." She tip-toes backward, pulling the door shut as she goes.

Nosey woman knew I was going to ask today, everyone did. But, a moment like this just wouldn't feel the same without her nosey ass barging in on us. I still won't stop smiling. Rigbee doesn't let go of her hold on me, either, she only squeezes tighter. I lightly set her down so I can look at her. I take her all in, raking my gaze over her in amazement, if only to admire the fact that she's mine. I'm the lucky bastard that gets to keep her.

"Bug, I will love you forever. Can't stop."

"Won't stop," she whispers, before she plants her lips on mine. 

We decided on the month of June to have the wedding. When I say we, I mean me. Because, let's be real, Roman didn't give a shit what month we got married in as long as he was the man I was saying
I do
to. If it were up to him, he would've whisked me away to Vegas or somewhere the same night. I would have been fine with anything, but, a mushy girly part of me did want the whole wedding thing. The dress and party, the whole sha- bang.

We lit a candle for Grandpa Joe during the reception. It wasn't the same without him, but having a flame burn in his honor was special. Each time I caught a glimpse of it throughout the night, I was reminded of how happy this would have made him.

Our honeymoon took place in California. We rented a car and drove Pacific Coast Highway all the way down the coast until we couldn't go any further. Until we couldn't go any further without seeing signs for border control, anyway.

When the sign came to view, we looked at each other and laughed. No way were we willingly going through that again. Instead, we turned around and caught the coast from the other side. We drove by the ocean for three weeks.