Just Plain Sadie (20 page)

No matter how many times Sadie told him that the accident was an accident and that it was not his fault, he found it next to impossible to believe her. God had to be punishing him for wanting to get away from the farm and leave Johnny behind. No matter what Sadie said, he couldn't help but believe that it was true.

One thing was certain. He couldn't go to Europe now. He had to stay and run his brother's beloved farm. He had to carry on for his father. He couldn't spend a dime on anything other than his brother's treatment.

Stiff-legged, he made his way across the yard and up the porch steps. He rapped on the door twice, feeling the formality of the summons was just another part of this occasion.

Helen Ebersol opened the door. Chris had always liked Helen. He'd heard many people complain about the bishop and the bishop's wife in their district, but he had no problems with his. They were fair and kind, and right now, that was exactly what he needed.

“Is the bishop home?”

Helen nodded, then stepped back as if she had known he was coming all along.

Chris moved into the room, his eyes adjusting from the sun to the dim interior of the house.

“I'll go get him for you.”

A few moments later, the bishop stepped from the kitchen. He gave a small nod to Chris as he motioned toward the sofa behind him. “Why don't you sit down, Chris Flaud? I've been expecting you.”

Chris nodded and sat down, though he felt as if he wanted to pop right back up as soon as his legs touched the sofa. Instead, he managed to take a breath and ease himself back into the cushions.

“I wanted to say that I'm ready for baptism classes.”

The bishop raised one eyebrow in question. “I thought we had already discussed this.”

Chris nodded. “We had. But now I'm really ready.”

To the bishop's credit, he didn't make Chris explain. Chris had come here on bended knee, so to speak, needing forgiveness and redemption. The bishop was not going to make him beg for it.

“Easter comes late this year. Classes start in about five weeks.”

Chris stood and reached out to shake the bishop's hand. “I'll be there.”

* * *

“Sadie, the phone's for you.”

“Thanks.” She stepped behind the waitress station and pushed the flashing button at the bottom of the multiline phone. “Hello?”

“So you are still alive?” Ezra's voice held a note of laughter. But she could hear the buried confusion in there as well.

“It's been kind of hectic around here the last few days.” It had been six days since Johnny Flaud had taken his tumble from the top of their barn. He was still in the hospital in Tulsa and would be for a couple more weeks. When he got home, things would never be the same.

Sadie had spent nearly every minute she could over at the Flauds' trying to help out. She had cleaned the house from top to bottom, baked bread and cookies, and put as many things as she could into their propane-cooled freezer.

In general, she made sure Chris ate each day, got up and got dressed, and managed to take care of any of the farm chores. He had male help as well. Elam Riehl, Jonah Miller, and Andrew Fitch and his cousin Danny came out in the rotation, each helping as much as they could, spending the night with Chris to keep him from being alone until his parents came back from the hospital.

“So it's true?” Ezra asked.

“I don't understand.”

“I heard that a boy fell off the roof there in Wells Landing. Also heard that he was your boyfriend's brother.”

“I wouldn't call him that. We're friends, you know? I've been trying to help out there. They're not sure that Johnny will be able to walk again. He may not even be able to use his arms.”

“I don't have the words to say how sorry I am to hear that.” She could tell by the tone of his voice that Ezra was being completely sincere.

“Don't be sorry,” Sadie said. “Just pray for him. And his family.”

“You know I will.” From the other end of the line she heard Ezra clear his throat. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

Sadie's hand flew to where the little elephant necklace lay against her skin. She kept it tucked under her dress, not wanting to take it off for anything. She knew it was wrong to wear jewelry. But how could she expect Ezra to hold a compromise with her if she couldn't compromise herself?

“I'm not sure. It's just that—” She broke off, unable to find the words.

“You've been spending a lot of time over there.”

She could hear the edge of jealousy in his voice. She wanted to tell him not to be worried. But that was not a very smart thing to say. He'd told her that he loved her and she'd told him that she loved him. Of course he was going to be worried to some degree that she was spending all of her time with someone else.

“It's the right thing to do. Chris and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. I can't abandon him now when he needs me the most.”

“I understand. I just wanted to spend some time with you. I know you're off tomorrow. So . . . Never mind. Maybe next week?”

She wanted to see him so badly, face-to-face and breathing in that wonderful smell that was Ezra. But she knew she couldn't spend time with him, enjoying herself off to where no one could find her, when Chris needed her right now.

“Please,” she asked. “Next week would be great.”

“I'll see you then,” he said. And then he was gone.

* * *

Tuesday was quickly becoming his favorite day. Chris stood up from the table and smiled as Sadie let herself into the house that morning. He was already up and dressed, and he had done the farm chores for the day. There wasn't a whole bunch to do right now. But in another month it would be time to hit the field.

Sadie's eyes widened with surprise, and she smiled in return. “It's good to see you out and about.”

“I thought it was time.” Past time, he was sure. But he had to have time to grieve, to come to terms. His brother might not have died in the accident, but all of Chris's dreams had. He needed time to adjust, to think, to replant, to get his mind ready for what he had to do and accept it.

“
Mamm
called,” he continued.

She faltered as she stepped across the living room. “Johnny?”

Chris shook his head. “He's fine. They think they'll release him in a couple of weeks. But he'll have to spend a lot of time in Pryor. For physical therapy and things like that. But
Mamm
and
Dat
are coming home today.”

“That's wonderful news.”

It was. And it was one more step toward the end of the tragedy and the normalcy that they all needed to regain in their lives. Everything would settle to a new normal, and of that he hoped everyone could be accepting.

“They should be home pretty soon,” Chris said. “Will you stay until they get here?”

She nodded, that smile he loved so much working its way across her face. Today was going to be a big day. Bigger than she or his parents knew. But that was a surprise for later. For now he was sure Sadie would have something she wanted to do, darn Johnny's socks or sew buttons back on his father's shirt. She had worked nonstop in the days since the accident, trying to get everything in the house in order for his parents to come back home. He loved her all the more for it.

“I love you, you know.” It was something that was always understood between them. And he felt now was the best time to say them again.

She stopped unloading the grocery sack she'd brought in with her. She had grapes and oranges and all sorts of fresh vegetables that no one could get this time of year unless they bought them at a grocery store.

“Oh, Chris,” she said with a small shake of her head. His heart stuttered a beat and went back into its normal rhythm. “I love you too.”

* * *

Four hours later he heard the car door slam outside and knew that his parents had come home. He turned to find Sadie watching him. He nodded. Everything was going to be okay. He had come to terms with the changes the accident brought in his life. They weren't anything compared to the changes that Johnny would suffer. So Chris would accept those changes with happiness and grace.

Still, his mouth turned to ash as he watched Sadie cross to the front door and open it.

She stepped out onto the porch and waved. “Welcome home!” she called, continuing her greeting.

He could hear the muffled voices of his parents and the Mennonite driver who had brought them home from Tulsa. But he couldn't make out any of the words they were actually saying.

It was probably not important anyway. More than likely the words were those of greeting and how are you doing, what are you doing here, thank you for staying, and all the other niceties that people said when they found themselves in a situation such as they had found themselves in today.

His mother stepped into the house first, turning around to give Sadie a big hug before she rushed to Chris's side.

He hadn't talked to her since the accident. In fact, he hadn't talked to anyone in his family. He had so badly wanted to talk to Johnny, but they told him that the painkillers he was taking made him loopy and hard to understand. Somehow they convinced him that he didn't want to talk to his brother when he was like that and it was better to wait until Johnny had a clear head. As much as Chris hated it, he had to agree. He had apologies to make, and something that important needed to be said with clarity, not on a whim.

His mother took his hand and squeezed his fingers in her strong grip. “He's going to be fine, Chris.”

Chris swallowed back the lump in his throat and managed to reply, “I'm so glad,
Mamm
.” But he almost choked at the uncharacteristic tears that had risen into his father's eyes.

“Can you come in here and sit down, please?” Chris asked. “I have something I need to talk to you about.” He wasn't looking directly at Sadie, but he did notice that her eyes widened and she shook her head. She had no idea what was coming next.

His parents settled down around the table. Chris turned to Sadie. “Can you get them some coffee, please, or something to drink?”

His mother gave a nervous laugh. “I feel like a guest in my own home.”

Sadie still hadn't moved. “Please,” Chris asked again.

“Chris,” Sadie started with a shake of her head, but he cut her off.

“I'll be right back,” he said, turning on his heel before she could protest and heading for the stairs. He knew that she wouldn't follow him up there. And for that he was grateful. He had things to do, and he didn't need her behind him interrupting the entire time.

He pulled his bed away from the wall and eased the mattress off to the side so he could reach the slit he had made there. He reached into the envelope-sized hole and pulled out the zippered bank bag where his money was stored. Then he pushed his bed back into place and started down the stairs once again.

His parents were right where he left them. Sadie too. No one had moved at all in the time since he had been gone.

“I'm not sure how to say this,” he started. In his dreams he had told them a hundred times he was going to Europe. He told them he was off to see the world, they didn't need him on the farm, and he was headed for a grand adventure. And a hundred different times they reacted a hundred different ways. Never before had he played out the scenario that was about to happen. “I've been saving some money for a while. Just a dollar or two here and there. And since this happened . . .” Chris stopped to swallow the lump in his throat.
Lord, give me strength to get through this.
“But now the family needs this money for something more important than anything I had planned for it.” He took another step forward and laid the bank bag on the table in front of his
dat
. His father sat back in his chair away from it as if it had been tainted with some type of poison that couldn't be contained.

“It's okay,” Chris said. “It's money. Johnny needs it more than I do.”

His mother looked from his
dat
to the bank bag and then back to his father's face.
Dat
didn't move an inch. He stared at the bag like he wasn't sure if it could be trusted or not.

“Oh, Merlin.” His mother took the bag and unzipped it. She looked inside, and her eyes grew wide. “Chris, where did you get all this money?”

In that moment Chris was glad that he hadn't managed to buy the plane ticket to Europe yet, so that money was still amongst the thousands he had stashed. “I've been saving it for a while.”

“What were you going to do with it, son?” His father kept staring at the table. Even though the money bag wasn't there any longer, his gaze did not move from that spot.

Chris should've known that he couldn't give them such a grand sum without explaining how he came to have it. Or what he intended to use it for. “I was going to take a trip,” he said.

His mother continued to thumb through the bills, all neatly stacked in order. “You were going far.”

“I was coming back.” Behind him, Sadie stifled a sob. He couldn't look at her, knowing that if he saw tears in those hazel eyes, he would surely fall apart himself. “I was.”

“And now?” his father asked.

“Johnny needs it.”

His father pushed back from the table and stalked out the front door, slamming it behind him. He left his coat hanging on the peg inside the door and his hat right above it.

For a moment Chris thought his mother might rush after him. She half stood from her chair, then sat back down. Sadie came around and eased down in the chair opposite his mother. They sat there like stoic bookends, staring at nothing in particular.