Just One Night (8 page)

What possible reason could he have to clear out before morning? There was only one she could think of—regret.

She sucked in a breath and tried to talk herself down. Maybe he’d gone to get them breakfast and wanted to be back before she woke.

As much as she wanted to believe that, the butterflies in her stomach refused to cease their flapping. She threw on her ruined shirt and wrapped it around herself like a robe before opening the door. “Hey, Martha, sweetpea. You wanna go outside?”

Martha didn’t respond with even her usual halfhearted imitation of enthusiasm, which meant Tomas had taken her out before he’d left. The dog had probably just wanted to get back into bed with her.

At least someone did.

She turned on the hall light and peered into the living room to make sure. Empty. She went into the kitchen and saw a folded note sitting on the black granite countertop. Her stomach clenched as she grabbed it. She held it in her hands for a long moment, pressing it between her fingers as if she could absorb the contents by touch. She clicked on the pendant light that hung over the kitchen table and sat. Her hands trembled as she opened the sheet.

Took Martha for a walk and it was perfect weather for a cruise. Decided to head down to the beach house for the day. May or may not be back tonight so don’t wait up.

Tomas

It might as well have been addressed “Dear John,” because it was as clear a kiss-off as any she’d ever seen. The note fluttered to the floor from her limp hand. Martha snuffled it curiously then shuffled off.

She shouldn’t have been surprised. It may have been the most amazing experience of her life, but for all she knew, that was just another Saturday night for Tomas.

Her throat constricted, and she tried to quell the brewing nausea. She would not cry. She’d sworn from the start that one night would be enough if that was all he had to give. That didn’t mean she could go on living side by side with the man she’d loved since the day he’d rolled up on his dirt bike and double-dog dared her to get on the back.

She stood on legs still shaky from their night together and went to pack her things.

Chapter Eight

Tomas sat at Crabby Bill’s, staring down at the worn paper menu while he nursed a beer. It was his second time there that day. He’d stopped in for lunch and scarfed down a mound of clam fritters. They were his favorite, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember tasting them. Even the beer tasted like piss. It should have been refreshing after he’d spent the better part of the day at the beach cottage, opening it for the season. The hard, sweaty work of climbing up and down ladders, changing storm windows for screens and cleaning gutters should have exhausted him. Apparently that exhaustion didn’t spread to his brain. His thoughts whipped like the ocean winds, constant and violent, heralding an upcoming storm.

He took another gulp of his beer. Mike hated beer. She said it was one of those things people must be pretending to enjoy, like sushi or golf.

Mike.

Damn it, he should have said
no
. They could have gotten past it. Hell, they had gotten past it before. She’d been embarrassed for a few weeks, but they’d muddled through. Now, there was just no way. He’d been with her, and he would never be the same. The fragile self-discipline he’d managed to cling to all these years was now thoroughly shattered. All he wanted was a chance to show her that he could love her right. He’d never even really tried. Maybe—

He shoved the thought away impatiently. She’d gotten what she wanted. Taken a walk on the wild side. Gone slumming. If he truly loved her—and damn him, he did—he needed to walk away with his dignity intact and let her find a guy who was a little more refined and a lot less fucked up than him. One who wouldn’t cause more strife between her and her parents. As successful as he was, he just wasn’t the type she could bring home to the Kincaid house and never had been. Even in high school, he’d had to pick her up a block from her house so they wouldn’t know who she was spending time with. The worst part was, he couldn’t really blame them.

“Hi there, handsome. Why the frown?”

He turned to see a petite blonde with gravity-defying double Ds sliding into the chair next to him. She had an open, friendly face, and he found himself answering honestly.

“Woman trouble.”

She clucked her tongue in sympathy. “Sorry about that. We suck sometimes. Want to talk about it?”

He didn’t, not really, so he settled for a generalization. “I made a critical error by falling for someone out of my league.”

She let out a squeak of laughter then eyed him up and down. “As if. I don’t mean to be forward, but that would have to be some woman.”

“Thanks. And she is. But I mean more in the uptown-girl sense. Her parents…” He trailed off and took another sip of warming, flat beer.

“If she cares about that kind of stuff, then she’s not as special as you think she is. It’s her loss.” She shrugged. “My name’s Bethany.” She stuck out a hand, and he shook it.

“Tomas.”

“Well, Tomas, are you going to sit here and sulk, or do you want to go have some fun?”

He met her frank gaze and something inside him shifted, the sadness hardening into bitterness. Maybe she was right. Maybe Mike wasn’t all that special. He’d all but told her he was crazy about her the night he’d driven her home from the club, and still she’d only wanted him for a fling. And this girl was pretty, nice, seemed to have a good sense of humor. He’d be a fool to pass her by.

“You know what? I think I do. I’m starved, and I already ate here once today. You want to get out of here, get a bite to eat, maybe come back and see my cottage?”

“Totally.” She bobbed her golden head up and down enthusiastically.

“We can go to Skippers. You like seafood?”

“Love it!”

So did Mike. It was her favorite. She always got the lobster, and he’d crack it for her while she watched with shining eyes. Then she’d spend about an hour sucking the meat out of the little claws, her full lips all buttery.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. What the hell was he doing? Bethany was perfect, but she wasn’t Mike, and leading her on was wrong. He might be a real shit sometimes, but the girl seemed nice, and it wasn’t fair to spend time with her if he couldn’t give her even half his attention. “Listen, I’m sorry, but I just got a really bad headache. Can I take a rain check?”

Her smile dimmed to partly cloudy, but she nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

His feet were already in motion as he called over his shoulder, “Thanks.”

He was halfway to the door before he realized with a guilty wince that there would be no rain check. He hadn’t even bothered to ask for her number.

It had taken her all day, but she was finally done. Micah blew her nose into the soggy wad of tissues with a loud
honk
. No point in trying to be dainty. She was destined to be a lonely old cat lady anyway, so she might as well just be herself. The cats wouldn’t care.

She looked one last time around the living room that had been her nest for the past few months. Sucking in a shuddering breath, she squared her shoulders and turned away. She laid her key on the table then opened the door and came face-to-face with Tomas.

“What’s going on?” he asked, confusion wrinkling his brow.

The fear in his eyes was her undoing, and the delicate thread tethering her to this side of utter despair snapped. She dropped her bags and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door and engaging the lock a mere second before dissolving into wrenching sobs.

“Mike?”

His voice followed her, and a moment later he called again with his mouth pressed to the crack of the door.

“Mike, come on. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m leaving. And I’m crying because I’m going to miss Martha.”

“Leaving to go where?”

“I’m going to stay with Renee for a while until I can get a place.”

“Renee only has one bedroom. Plus she has a snake, and you’re terrified of snakes.”

She wiped the tears away, but they were quickly replaced by fresh ones. “I’ll sleep on the pullout. As for the snake, I guess now is as good a time as any to learn to face my fears.” She shuddered in revulsion at the thought. Totally not going to happen, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Why, Mike? I don’t get it. You got exactly what you wanted. You had your one night. Why are you leaving?”

His words shocked her into silence, so much so that even her tears dried. Was he that much of a buffoon? She unlocked the door and swung it open, ready to tear into him, but froze. Her heart clenched at his appearance. He was soaking wet, his clothes a rumpled mess. The concern and confusion etched on his face was genuine.

She reached out a trembling hand and stroked his cheek. “I can’t be here. It was bad enough before…but now, knowing what I do, it would be impossible.”

He jerked back from her, his expression at first stricken, then like ice. “You didn’t seem to be complaining last night. In fact, you seemed to like it. But you’re right, you should go. I wouldn’t want to sully the princess any more than I already have.” He turned and stalked down the hallway.

Now it was her turn to be confused as she followed on his heels. “What are you talking about?”

“Forget it.” He was rifling through his overnight bag and didn’t look up. “I’m going out. It would be better if you were gone when I get back.”

She let out a gasp of pain as his words hit the mark. Leaving was breaking her heart. Listening to him say he wanted her out was excruciating. She pressed on. “Tell me what you meant about sullying the princess. I want to hear it.”

“Just what I said. I get it. You’re not the first one to regret a one-night stand. I have to admit though, my ego’s a little bruised. I thought I did you right. Now you throw it in my face like you can’t be around me. Did I gross you out? Too raw for you in the light of day, princess?”

Bewildered, she shook her head. “It was the best night of my life.”

“You just said knowing what you know now, you can’t live with me. Like I disgusted you.” His voice was killing her. It was raw and broken, like every word was being forced from his lips against his will. He’d stopped pulling clothes from his bag and was watching her with inscrutable, dark eyes.

She steadied herself, knowing no matter what, he needed to hear the truth. There was no going back from here anyway. “Not like you disgusted me. Like I will never be able to get it out of my head. I will never be able to watch you go out with other women and come home smelling like sex and strange perfume.” Her voice broke but she continued. “I will never be able to walk by your bedroom without remembering us there together.” She took a step forward and laid her hand on his chest. “If I stay here, I will never stop wanting it to happen again and again. I love you, Tomas. And every day I stay here pretending I don’t—” Her throat burned as she choked back a sob and turned away. She scooped up two of her bags and prayed she made it out the door before the storm broke free and she really lost it. “I’ll come back another day for the rest.”

“Don’t go.”

His big, warm hand closed on her shoulder, and she resisted the urge to lean back into him.

“It’s really for the best. And maybe in a few months we can try to hang out and be friends again.” Her voice rang false, even to her own ears, but she was desperate to escape.

“I don’t ever want to be friends with you again, Mike.”

The heart she’d thought had taken all it could bear broke a little more. She nodded.

“I want to be your man. That’s what I want. Shit, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be your man.”

Her breath froze in her chest. He turned her to face him, then plucked the bags from her hands, setting them on the floor.

“I have loved you from the first minute I saw you. More than the newest issue of
Playboy
, more than Bobby Dix’s Camaro. When I saw you, I wanted nothing in the world more than to see how you looked on the back of my dirt bike, that copper hair flying with that smile lighting your face. God, I was fucking crazy about you. And it never went away, Mike. I feel the same way now. All I want is to see you smile.”

Joy warred with confusion as a dozen questions rushed to her lips. “But why did you turn me away? In high school. Why wouldn’t you sleep with me? I wanted my first time to be with you.”

“You asked me for one night. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be with you knowing it would only be that one time. And I couldn’t stand it that I wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend, but I was good enough to sleep with.”

Her hands began to shake as his words sank in. Had they wasted all this time? “Only because it didn’t even occur to me that you would consider anything more. You were busy with every girl in school. I wanted to be with you so much I was willing to take any little bit I could get. God, how could you think you weren’t good enough for me? There is no one better than you, Tomas. No one.”

“Your parents—”

“Fuck my parents.” She emphasized her words with a punch to his chest. “They’re stuffy, elitist windbags. I love them, I do, but they’ve got to get with the program or stay out of my life. I want to be an artist.” She slid her arms around his waist and tipped her head so she could look at his face. “And I want you as my man.”

He pulled her to him, so tight she could hardly breathe. “Say it again,” he whispered.

“I want you as my man.”

“Damn it, Mike, I’ve been waiting to hear those words for so long, it feels like a dream.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead then to the tip of her nose, before drawing back to look at her. “So you’re going to stay and live here with me?”

She leaned back and gave him a watery smile. “If you’ll have me.”

“Damn straight.”

“God,” she whispered. “When I think of all the time we wasted…the times I hurt you and didn’t even realize. It kills me.” Her throat grew tight, and she blinked away the threatening tears.

“Shh, stop, babe. We can’t think that way. This was meant to happen now. It wouldn’t have worked before. I had to feel like I was worthy of you, or I would’ve found a way to fuck it up.” He dragged her close, into the warmth and safety of his arms. “And if I had to trade the last thirteen years to make sure I’d have you for the next fifty? Hell, I’d make that trade every time.”