Just Make Him Beautiful (26 page)

I
used to
wonder what he
was
doing when he d
id
n’t come home until
three
,
four
,
sometimes
five
o’clock in the morning
,
but I kn
e
w he
was
working and I d
id
n’t wanna nag him. I’
d
seen so many women nag their boyfriends or husbands to the point
where
the man just up and le
ft
them
,
and
then
they s
a
t there wonder
ing
why.

Bitches, leave your man alone. Even at
eighteen
, I kn
e
w that all your man want
ed
wa
s for you to cook, clean
,
and fuck his brains out
.
D
uh?
And as long as you d
id
that, it’s nothing that that man won’t do for you in return.

So
,
even though I wonder
ed
from time to time
whether
he
wa
s cheating, I
wasn’t
worried because I kn
e
w as soon as our test results c
a
me back, it
was
gonna take Jesus Christ himself to keep me off of his
fine
ass. I
had planned to
fuck him so good, he w
as
n’t
gonna
remember his own name, let alone the names of those other bitches he might
’ve
be
en
fuckin
’
wit.

Mr. Jamison talk
ed
about his little brother from time to time
,
and they argue
d
a lot
,
but I
was
yet to meet him. Every time I walk
ed
through the door, he always sa
id
,
“You
just missed him.
”

Now
,
honey, I ain’t no dummy. Either, he th
ought
I might be more interested in his brother
,
or he ha
d
n’t told
him
about our relationship. It ha
d
to be one or the other.  I d
id
n’t push the issue because I know that every man who goes through this type of
lifestyle
faces a journey
,
and everyone’s
journey
is not
at
the same
pace
.
But
,
as they say, anyone worth having is worth waiting for
.

So
,
c
hile, I ha
d
no reason to complain because
,
other than making a home for me and Mr. Jamison, I spen
t
my days shopping
, talking to my little sister on the phone, jamming and lip
-
s
ynch
ing to my Patti Labelle CDs,
and hanging out with my girl Robin when
ever
she
took
time out from her studies.

W
hen I told her I had actually moved in with Mr. Jamison
,
she almost gagged.
But she ha
d
been very supportive, unlike my mom. That’s why I
was
in the process of getting ready to go over
to
my mom’s house
s
o we can talk. I ha
d
n’t seen her since I’
d
been staying with Mr. Jamison
,
and she d
id
n’t understand why I moved out. Well, I
was
gonna tell her why today.

*

I pulled up at my mom
’
s house and parked out on the street. I didn’t see my
stepfather
’s car in the driveway
,
and even though I could have parked
there
, I didn’t wanna be blocked in if
he
came home. My mom did tell me that he would be at work all day because his full
-
time employee had a doctor’s appointment and he had to cover his shift
,
but I didn’t wanna take
any
chances.

“Hey
,
M
om
!”
I yelled as I walked through the front door.  “W
here are you?”

“I’m in the kitchen
!
” she yelled back.

I entered the kitchen
,
and as usual, my mom was cooking all kinds of food.

“Hey
,
M
om
.
W
hat’s going on?” I
gave
her a hug.

“I’m cooking dinner and fixing some food for our neighbor, Ms. Brown from next door. She lost her mother yesterday. You do remember her
,
don’t you?” she asked with a bit of sarcasm.

“Yeah
,
M
om, I do remember her. I ha
ve
n’t been gone that long
.
D
ang!” I sampl
ed
some of her delicious food.

“Get your dirty hands out of my pans.” Mom
hit
me on my butt. “If you’re hungry, have a seat and I’ll fix you a plate.”

“Yes
,
ma’am
.
Y
ou know I love your cooking anyway,” I stated, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “So
,
how did Ms. Brown’s mother die?”

“Oh
,
baby, she was up there in age
.
I guess her heart couldn’t take any
more
,
” Mom stated sadly as she began fixing me a plate.

“Oh wow
!
G
ive Ms. Brown my condolences.”

While waiting for my plate, I looked around the kitchen and noticed that nothing had changed. The red flowery tablecloth, the matching red pillows that cushioned the table chairs, the white
-
and
-
red salt
-
and
pepper
-
shakers that sat on the kitchen table, all
remained
the same.

I couldn’t erase the thought of seeing my stepfather and Junior here in this kitchen having sex. I wasn’t sure how my mom w
ould
react to what I was going to tell her
,
but I wanted her to know the truth.

“Here
,
s
weetie
.
L
ook like you hadn’t been eating
,”
Momma stated as she placed a big plate of food in front of me.  “Y
ou need some meat on them bones
.
”

“Thanks
,
M
om
.
”

My mom sat across from me drinking her cups of coffee as I stuffed myself. We talked a little bit more about
our
neighbor
’
s los
s.
T
hen she began telling me about the family, and how Keisha was spending more time down the street with a
girl
friend of hers. Personally, I was happy to hear that because Keisha was now a teenager
,
and I didn’t want her to be abused or hurt in any way. So less time spent here in this house, the better.

“Seems like when you moved out, that’s when Keisha decided to spend more time down at her friend’s house. What’s going on
,
sweetie? Why did you leave?”
M
y mom asked, her voice crack
ing
.

“Momma, I want you to know that this is very hard for me. After Mother was placed in an institution, you’re the only one that opened your home for me and Keisha
,
and I will always love you for that.”
I leaned across the table and held
her
hand in mine and took a deep breath
.
“Remember when I got out of the hospital a month or so ago?”

“Yeah,
of course.
”

“This one day I was in the house alone
,
or so I thought. I was hungry
,
and so I came downstairs to get something to eat
.
 
B
efore I came down the stairs, I heard voices out here in the kitchen.”

“Voices
?
W
hat voices?
Did someone break in here?” 

“Naw
,
Ma, it was
D
ad and another guy
.
”
I lower
ed
my head and look
ed
down at the kitchen floor.

“And was it one of your dad’s friends?”

“Well, I guess you can say that.”

“Look
,
sweetie, whatever you have to say, why don’t you just come right on out and say it?” Mom
held
a serious expression on her face.

Just as I was about to tell my mom what had happened, I looked up
,
and out of nowhere my stepdad appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Okay
,
M
om, I have to go. I’ll give you a call later,” I said, jumping up from the table.

Mom grabbed me by the arm.
“What in the world is wrong with you? Now
,
you sit your little tail back down in this chair and tell me what you were about to say
.
”

“Yeah
,
Cameron, tell me and your mom what’s going on wit
h
you?” My stepdad took a seat at the kitchen table and star
ed
at me as though he wanted to hurt me.

And I remember
ed
that look all too well. It was the same look he had when I
’d
caught him that night with Junior and he threatened me. Suddenly, there was a ring at the front door
.
I
t almost scared the shit out of me.

“Oh Lawd
.
W
ho could that be?
 
Sweetie, let me get the door
,
and I’ll be right back, ok
ay.
” My mom got up and answered the door
.

N
o sooner had she left the kitchen, my stepfather shot up from his chair and grabbed me by shirt
.  He
penned me up against the wall, saying, “I know you hadn’t forgotten what I told you
.
You wanna have a big mouth
?
G
o right ahead and tell your momma and see what happens.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” I replied fearfully.

“Yo
u
punk
-
ass bitch, just make sure you don’t!” he stated, anger in his eyes.

At that moment, I heard
M
omma closing the front door
.
M
y stepfather must have heard it too
because he
release
d
his grip
on
me.

“Lawd, if it’s not one thing
,
it’s another,” Mom stated, as she came back into the kitchen.

“Well
,
M
om, I gotta go. I’ll call you later, ok
ay.
”

“Sweetie, you were about to tell me something. Now
,
what is it?”