Just Like Heaven (30 page)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Where did Nina
go?” Nick asked
Roland
, feeling fright surge through him, something he hadn’t expected because he hadn’t
yet
felt
nervo
us while in this dream…No! H
e wouldn’t continue to pretend that this was a dream. He
was
in heaven. There was no other explanation
for it. In his dreams, he had stood beside Harold, who only smiled, but this time, they had actually communicated. And how else could he explain meeting his parents?

After all, if he were only dreaming, he would have already pulled himself out of it, since reuniting with his family had no bearing in reality. And while dreams often stretched the bounds of fact-based existence, he would have dragged himself out of this possibility, because upon waking, he would
have
fall
en
into
desp
air
and need
ed
some time to acclimate to the truth.

But this time, he had no intention of leaving his family. He’
d never felt such emp
athy
, understanding,
and love in his
last incarnation on earth
, which also explained why this must be heaven. He’d never felt anything close to those emotions on
e
arth
, and he had no intention of going back.

Roland
faced him. “It was time
for Nina
to leave us.”

“Leave?” Nick asked, incredulous. “Why would she leave? Everything’s perfect here. Who would
ever
want to leave this place?”

“
Heaven is perfect, but we are not. And that is why we leave. We have to prove to God and to ourselves that we’ve done everything possible to deserve our place here.”

Unconcerned with Roland’s cryptic tone, Nick said, “When will she be back?”

“I don’t know.”

“How could you not know? This is heaven. You have to know, right?” He turned to
Mei Lee
. “Right?”

“I’m afraid not,” she said. “She’s making her choice as we speak.”

“Her choice?” He shook his head. “What choice? What are you talking about?”

“About whether or not she wants to return to
e
arth
.”

“Well, you’re her guide. You have t
o know if she’ll come back
.”

“Th
at’s
a decision where I have no say
and no foreknowledge
.”

He felt part of his existence being torn away from this
moment in time. “What’s wrong with you two?”

Mei Lee
flinched.
“I
t see
ms Nina
has
made her decision.”

Roland said, “And now it’s your turn.”

“I
can’t go yet. I just started to believe. I don’t want to go anywhere.” As
part
of his soul began to separate from
the theater, he looked at his brother. “Wait! Harold,
don’t leave
me
.”

“Don’t
worry, Nick. I
’ll be waiting here for you
.
”

In a last ditch effort to remain tethered to them, Nick said to Roland, “Don’t let me go.”

Roland grinned. “Ask yourself: did you accomplish what you set out to do?” His expression took on a sympat
hetic tint.
“
Trust yourself, Nicholas
. You’re a better man than you give yourself credit for.”

A moment later, Nick
faded away and reappeared
on the cliff that he’d visited some time ago with Nina. He peered over the edge, but this time, he didn’t want to get too close to the edge, and he didn’t know why.
This time, unlike when he’d visited with Nina, the sun peaked out from behind clouds, deliv
ering a pinkish hue to the sky
.

Sensing a presence
somewhere in the vicinity
, Nick
spun around to face who
ever
shared this space with him.

A man with thick, long brown hair that rested on his shoulders stood behind him. He had a full but well-manicured beard.
Wearing a white shirt under an even whiter
robe, he approached Nick with a gentle smile. “Hello
, Nick. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“No,” Nick said, shocked. “It can’t be.”

The man
lifted a hand toward the precipice, and when his palm cleared the end of his sleeve, a spot of crimson colored the middle of his wrist. “It’s a lovely view, isn’t it?”

“You’re…him.”

The man looked to the side, nodding at the insinuation. “I guess I’ve been called worse.”

“You’re…Jesus?”

He smiled.

Nick just stared at him. A thousand thoughts swirled through his head, but he couldn’t snag even one of them.
He continued to stare, dumbstruck.

“
I get that a lot.”

Nick, shocked to find that Jesus had a sense of humor, broke out laughing. It removed the temporary loss of sensation and inability to take hold of a single thought. “Seeing you isn’t a bad omen, is it?” Just as in grade school, the mind-numbing sensation of getting
sent to the principal
’
s
office came over him…if he magnified that feeling by infinity
–
because other th
an God, no one
could main
tain such a magnificent stat
ure as
Jesus.

“
That’s a cryptic question. And I
always thought of myself as a nice guy.”

The grin
remained on Nick’s face. “
I just m
eant that…I always figured
you’d be more intimidating in person.”

“Why is that?”

“The whole crucifixion-thing for
one. I mean taking on all of man’s sins for yourself?
And forgiving t
hose who tortured you? You’re stronger
than any mere human.”

“Yet I was flesh and blood
when I made that choice
.”

“How? How could you endure such pain?”

“As evidence.”

“Evidence of what? That you could take a beating?”

“Of God’s love for all.”

“I don’t understand.”

Jesus nodded. “I understand.”

Confused,
he took it to mean that Jesus unde
rstood why Nick was so confused.
So why wouldn’t he explain further? Then Nick realized that perhaps Je
sus couldn’t explain it for him; he intended
for
Nick
to figure
out
the
answe
r on his own. That took his thought pattern in a different direction. “Why am I here?”

“Because I summoned you.”

“For what? I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? I haven’t hurt anyone. I
tried to st
e
al
something when I was a kid, but…”

“Yo
u felt remorse for that act. The
Lord has forgiven you.”

Tha
t non-judgmental statement
made Nick almost lurch forward as though a great weigh
t had fallen from his shoulders, not because attempting to steal had been a burden, but because God had pardoned him. “I’ve treated others…poorly.
”

“But you feel remorse for those actions. However, one person
d
idn’t deserve such
abuse
.”

Nick went through his memory, starting at his earliest memory and moving forward, trying to identi
fy someone he may have wronged without regretting his actions.
He’d been tough on his father, and he’d wanted to apologize for neglecting him for all those years, but his dad had vanished before Nick had the chance to say a word to him.
“
Other than my father,
I don’t know who
else I’ve wronged. But I’ll trust that you know best
.”

“You don’t know?” Jesus asked. Surprise registered on his face.

Based on Jesus’ expression, Nick
felt stupid for
failing
to recognize what must have
be
en an obvious oversight
. “No.”

“You’ve hurt yourself. Since your family passed away, you’ve blamed yourself and you’ve limited your chances to give and receive love.
Before forgiving others, you must first forgive yourself.
”

Nick stared at Jesus, feeling unworthy of his time and his sympathetic words.

“Your family members chose their path – just as you now have an opportunity to choose yours.”

That statement seemed ominous. “What do you mean?” Nick asked, giving him a sideways glance.

“Whether or not you’d like to return to
e
arth
. To continue perfecting your soul.”

“But I can’t go back there. There’s too much hate. Too much anger. Too much pain.”

Jesus nodded. “That’s why we refer to it as hell.”

“What? That can’t be possible.
E
arth
isn’t hell. It can’t be.”

“Why not? You’ve just said that it’s full of hate and anger and pain.”

“But good things happen, too. People
laugh. They
get married. They have children.”

“Yes
, love
exists on
e
arth
.
It
’
s further proof that
e
arth
is…
hell.”

“
But it’s supposed to be under…” He felt foolish for saying that hell existed below the earth’s surface.

“It’s underneath heaven. And since that is our home, those who visit earth generally have no recollection of heaven and only remember that hell is beneath them.”

Nick gave that explanation some consideration.

Jesus approached Nick and curled an arm around his shoulders, walking him toward the edge of the cliff. “If hell were a place of flames and constant torture, how would anyone know that it’s hell? The conditions would never change. It is only when there is
love within the darkness that people wi
ll have clarity between
those
two opposites.
It allows each person to choose
their path: following the Lord…or siding with the devil.”

“So the devil exists?”

“Of course.”

“Does he have horns and a tail?” Hearing those words exit his mouth made Nick realize that he sounded like a seven-year old boy.

“No. And the devil is not one
individual.”

“I don’t get it. He’s more than one person?”

“He’s inside you, Nick
. Just as God is. They’re both inside you. Each person has the ability to determine right from wrong: to help an elderly lady across the street or to steal money from an unsuspecting victim. Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not saying that there is a devil inside each person. Not at all. I’m only stating that the decisions our souls make determine which
direction we take…do we select
God’s path or…”

“
What’s to stop someone on earth from doing bad things
?”

“
Doing so
makes
it that
much more difficult to feel God’s
love
and to communicate with Him
.
And those are the two things all of us work to
wards. Doing
so gives us the chance to understand His grand design.
It is something we all yearn for.
”

“But if we keep going back and forth from heaven to
e
arth
, it strips away the power of doing the r
ight thing on
e
arth
at any given time
. It allows people to act cruel and vicious because they know they
can
return.”

“Once again, it’s not that simple. On
e
arth
, you have no virtually no knowledge of heaven. You know of God and angels and—”