Just Like Heaven (15 page)

Nick scanned the area and found a spot he’d like to join. Once again, he took Nina’s hand and led her to another section of the dance floor.

“Tango? Really? I’m so out of my element.”

“And I’m not,” he said with a certainty that surprised him.
“It’s actually an offshoot of Argentine Tango called
T
ango Nuevo.
He led her to the dance floor as music filled the speakers above them. Pressing chest to ches
t, Nick danced to the emotion in
the music, transmitting this feeling to Nina through his dance steps. 

“O
kay
,” Nina said. “
You’re a good dancer, supportive, and somewhat funny.
”

“Whoa, only somewhat funny? That’s harsh. I’
m not a riot by
any stretch, but I’d settle for just plain old
funny. Agreed?”

“You can’t con
vince me that
you
’re
funny. You’re either funny or you’re not.”

“So being ‘somewhat funny’ was a lie?”

“No. I don’t lie.”

“Neither do I. So
how do I know I could trust you?”

“I haven’t dropped you yet. That should count for something.”

Nick continued leading her in a counterclockwise
manner
around the outside of the dance floor. He stopped with Nina crou
ching with her right leg nestled
against his inner thigh and her left leg slanted out. Her closeness and the heat he felt inside him, not to mention the erotic image of her knee practically nudging against his private parts, made Nick issue a soft moan. He scooped her up into his arms and stepped out of the dance floor.

“I don’t k
now what the future holds,” he
said. “I can’t promise you anything. But
being with you is different. It’s special.
I hope you
believe that.”

She looked up at him with an unreadable expression.

“
If you’re not going to apply,
” he said with a teasing smirk,
“
I should keep my options open.” He turned away from her and examined the dance floor. “Hmmm. Looking for someone attractive.” He swung back to Nina. “You’re a hard act to follow. But it’s only fair that other candidates get an opportunity to apply.” Then he continued
scanning the floor for other women
until his eyes locked on a
n attractive
redhead
that he wasn’t especially
attracted to. “She might do.”

That’s when Nick saw someone that he never expected to see again: his brother, Harold.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Although Nina loved the easy banter she shared with Nick, she felt somewhat let down by his reluctance to carry on a serious conversation. Bu
t
what did she expect on the dance floor? It’s not exactly the place for deep i
ntrospection. Besides, her need
to determine his level of interest stemmed from past rejection, and she didn’t want to
give herself to someone who
had no
interest in
a serious commitment.

Despite that,
Nick’s reluctance to sustain a
sincere
discussion
m
ade her that much more eager
to know him better.
That level of playfulness tinged with unexpected earnestness won her over. She didn’t know what he’d say next, making her hang on every word. And as much as
she
enjoyed getting to know him this way, she hated herself for getting so wrapped up in him.

She had followed this exact pattern throughout her life: (1) meet a handsome, quick-witted man with a kind heart
, an unbreakable moral compass,
and a
strong purpose in life
;
(2) disregard what he might need from a relationship, while only thinking of her own needs
;
(3) fall in love
; (4) upon learning that his
needs
were different than what she could
give him, change aspects of her personality
she loved in order to prove that they belong
ed
together
;
(5) turn
herself
int
o a stranger, whereupon said boyfriend loses respect
for her
and dumps her.

And this time, Nina vowed not follow this same path. She considered herself a lucky catch, and she refused to give away parts of herself, only to
lose
her self-
respect
due to
her insecurities, namely that of not finding
The One
.

And
although
Nina hadn’t felt the need to start sacrificing herself in order to prove her worthiness, it would come to this if sh
e didn’t end this cycle by determin
ing what
Nick
needed from a relationship. Only then would she be able to upset this imbalance.

Still, u
ntil the moment Nick had
broken away from her, Nina
felt like she’d finally
met someone who understood her and
wanted the same lifelong bond
that
she’d ached for.
But after meeting
Nick
at
the diner
and feeling
drawn to him, she felt part of her soul shifting towards him. No, that didn’t quite explain her predicament because a shift seemed to indicate that she made the conscious decision to like him.

While she was tempte
d to explain away her interest as simple
physical attraction,
Nina wouldn’t trivialize the chemistry she felt with him. It was as ordina
ry as breathing. And
rather than continue to analyze why she felt so strongly about him, which seemed like a wise choice since she had followed her heart and fallen for men who didn’t want her, this time, she decided to just trust her soul. And she knew the difference.

Loving someone with all your heart, in Nina’s opinion, had more to do with ho
w you felt about someone: it amounted to
fitting yourself into anothe
r person’s life
.
Lov
in
g someone with your soul showed
how you both felt about each other. That type of bond didn’t need consideration. It didn’t need explaining.
It existed without thought
s
or words. It existed on
e
arth
and in heaven. It existed regardless of time or space. It was forever.

That Nick selected
one of her favorite love songs r
einforced this notion. Even after he grasped her hand,
which allowed
her
to exp
erience the music playing in his
soul,
because at that moment they both wanted a spiritual connection,
he didn’
t
question that he’d chosen the songs by Beyonce and Rihanna, even though Nina had selected those songs for both of them, whereas Nick had
selected
songs by Justin Timberlake and the
Black Eyed Peas. In each case, the music
flowed from one
of
the
m to the
other and manifested above them as though they had connected cable
s from a surround sound
system to their bodies.

Although Nina couldn’t recall when she’d first experienced this magical sensation, she recognized how it worked without understanding how God had created this effect. But as with
His ability to distort time, not to mention
how the Lord manipulated this compact building into an enormous danc
e hall, she didn’t question
the physics behind these incredible achievements.

And then,
without warning or explanation,
Nick
destroyed
a wonderful moment
.
The perfect moment, really: one that symbolized everything she’d ever expected from romance – passion, attra
ction, affect
ion, kindness.

Seeing Nick push his way past members in the crowd, Nina caught sight of a
couple from the Elizabethan era who stopped dancing in order to wave at h
er, a gesture that would
have
surely
been frowned upon in their time period. Nina didn’t recognize them
by sight, but inside she felt
c
onnected
to them,
as though all three of them
had once shared warm conversations and f
ondness for each other. She smiled at them then
continued after Nick, unsure what had driven him to leave her embrace with such great urgency.

Up ahead, Nick stopped on the outskirts of those
doing the Waltz. He glanced around
like a worried owner who’d given his puppy a little too much freedom, only to discover that his dog had run away from home.

“What’s wrong?” Nina asked, pulling up beside him.

“He was right here. He even smiled at me.”

“Who?”

“My brother, Harold.”

Nina didn’t know what to say. She wanted to
tell
Nick
that he
might
see those that had passed away during his most recent incarnation on earth, as well as many others that might seem familiar, although he might have lost
the ability to identify
them by name. In one way or another, however, he might recognize them by the essence of their spirit. But i
f she mentioned this, he would dispute her claims by o
nce again stat
ing that he controlled this dream world
and everyone in it
.
Therefore, it only made sense that he’d know mos
t of the people in a world he’d created, so she remained silent on the subject.

“
But he never vanished like that,
”
he said.

“You’ve seen your brother before?”

Nick turned to face her. “In my dreams. He’d always be with me and a couple friends. We’d be standing in a circle, holding beers, and chatting. And Harold always stood across from me with this…pleasant
smile on his face. But he wouldn’t say a word. And I always got the impression that my friends didn’t even know he was there.”

Nina knew exactly what he spoke about.
She didn’t recall when, but
at some point in her spirit’s long journey, a man named Aurelius, felt tremendous pain and grief that Nina had passed away. A
lthough
at this moment, she couldn’t remember if Aurelius had been a lover or spouse or trusted confidante, she only knew that he
ha
d endured prolonged torment after
her passing.

And upon
a request by
Aurelius’
spirit guide,
Nina had joined her friend’s guide and
embrac
ed
him, allowing
Nina the chance to enter Aurelius’ dream.
But in truth, she had entered a nightmare. Aurelius sat at a rickety table that held two items: to his left – a near empty bottle of vodka; to his right – a pistol. Just as he picked up the gun and placed it to his temple, Nina
appeared
opposite him with an empathetic look and love in her soul
.

Noticing her, he let out a cry of sorrow, and the gun slipped from his grasp.
He talked about how guilty he felt that she had died, about his failure to prevent her death, about how he couldn’t see past this mistake and forgive himself. Throughout it all, Nina listened and nodded wit
h understanding and compassion. A
nd
just before he
exited that dream for another,
without saying one word,
she smiled at him to let him know that
she felt at peace
,
that she didn’t blame him for her death,
and
that she wanted him to live a long happy life.

Even now, Nina didn’t know what part Aurelius had playe
d in her death or how she’d passed away
, but she remained with his guide a little longer to discover that Aurelius had gained strength from he
r visit and that, with
time and
deep introspection
, he’d come to forgive himself and move on with his life.

So Nina was convinced that each time Harold entered Nick’s dreams, he did so to alleviat
e his brother’s pain and to express
t
hat he was happy
.
But she couldn’t tell Nick all of this because he wouldn’t believe her. It made her feel useless.