Just Enough Light (12 page)

That was what Calvin Grant had done when he’d raised the specter of the lost and broken child she’d once been. He’d shown her the threads of the past were impossible to completely sever. That she was only lying to herself if she believed she could eradicate the past.

Her past.

Over the years, she’d done everything she could to cover her tracks. To bury any connections to family. To her parents. She’d moved constantly, changed identities, and then moved again. Never certain whether or not her fears were warranted. Just knowing fear had always been there, a constant companion, a sliver in the back of her mind.

She shook her head slightly but couldn’t stop the litany of what-ifs. She knew the girls were worried about her, but she couldn’t afford to think about them right now. She needed time to clear her head, time to collect her thoughts before making any decisions. Otherwise she wouldn’t be good for anyone, herself included.

It didn’t help that she’d been running a low-grade fever all day. But she’d known instinctively when she’d left the cabin that an overnight trip on one of the numerous unmarked trails and time on her own would be just the tonic she needed to ground herself and regain some perspective.

The trail she’d chosen was a familiar one that began as a gradual climb. It followed several switchbacks that ran through a beautiful section of forest on a south facing slope, surrounded by several massive, sharp peaks. Then it changed, and after leaving the lower trail behind, the terrain became rugged and more difficult, with ungroomed typical backcountry conditions in the higher elevations.

That virtually guaranteed she’d be alone, which was what she really wanted. Other than Bogart, of course, who was playfully chasing shadows and trying to catch snowflakes in his mouth.

The climb was well worth the effort. As she came up and out of the trees and approached the summit, a postcard-perfect panorama lay before her. She closed her eyes and drew the scent of pine and crisp mountain air into her blood.

With the continuing fall of light snow, it had been a day without a sunrise or sunset. Instead, the day had stayed gray since morning. At some point, night had closed in without fanfare, and it was fully dark by the time she had her camp set up.

The spot she’d chosen was protected from the elements by trees but still provided clean lines of sight in every direction. No one would be able to approach her without her seeing them or having Bogart alert. It would be safe here, she assured herself, and she could take the time she needed to think things through.

Even better, the snow finally stopped and the sky had cleared. She started a fire, fed Bogart, and ate a freeze-dried meal of some kind—she could never really tell what it was by taste because they all tended to taste the same. Now she just needed to boil some water to make coffee.

Once it was ready, she and Bogart sat on a boulder and gazed skyward. There was a beautiful, clear, star-studded sky visible as far as the eye could see, and the only sound was the occasional distant howl of a coyote. It was so beautiful. Perfect. And in spite of everything that was going on, she felt her spirit lifting and all traces of weariness vanished as a calm descended on her.

On the second morning, while hiking with her camera and contemplating her next move, she was following some mountain goats when a movement somewhere above her started a rock slide. Small at first, it quickly gained momentum.

Her first instinct was to protect Bogart. She yelled for him, then had just enough time to mourn the imminent loss of her Nikon—one of the very few personal indulgences she’d allowed herself over the years—before she turned all her energy to surviving. Every muscle inside her screamed for her to move. Half stumbling, half sliding, she grabbed Bogart and dragged him with her behind a large boulder. Holding him close, she protected him as best she could with her body and covered her head with her arms, while rocks continued to rain down around her.

She wasn’t certain how long it took, or if perhaps she’d lost consciousness at some point. But Kellen was eventually fairly confident everything had stopped moving and opened her eyes. She was overjoyed to find Bogart staring at her, his nose inches from her own. Laughing out loud, she reached and rubbed his head between her hands, reassuring him she was all right while he licked her face. Shifting to a sitting position, she grimaced as she conducted a quick assessment, but concluded she’d gotten off lucky.

She had a raging headache. That much was certain. She was also covered in an assortment of bruises, but she didn’t think anything vital was broken. There was a lump on her head, only slightly bloodied, and she decided it could be ignored once she cleaned it. The worst of the damage appeared to be a deep laceration to her right thigh where the bleeding seemed to be the heaviest, and a smaller one on her left arm. The good news was there was no pain from her wounds yet, although she knew given time it could come.

Feeling faintly light-headed, but not certain whether it was the result of the blow she took to her head, blood loss, or simply a reaction to what had happened, Kellen began to make her way back to her camp. She was uncomfortably aware she was leaving a blood trail that would be far too easy to follow by both four- and two-legged predators and knew she’d have to move quickly. Get the bleeding under control, tear down her camp, and head back to the security of her cabin on the outskirts of Haven.

Once in her makeshift camp, she dug into her pack and pulled out a first-aid kit containing gauze, peroxide, and superglue, plus a needle and some suture thread. Laying everything out within easy reach, she removed her ruined clothes and examined the damage.

The cut on her arm would be fine with the superglue, she decided and set about cleaning and disinfecting the wound. Once it was clean, she opened the tube of glue and applied it as best she could to her arm, closing the cut. She then blew on it until it dried sufficiently.

Her leg was another matter, and she delayed as long as possible while she studied what turned out to be a pair of parallel tears, knowing it was going to hurt like crazy. The bleeding had slowed in one cut, but the second was deeper. There was no question both would require stitching. She was also beginning to shake as reaction set in, and she knew she had to act fast.

After cleaning the cuts and threading the needle, she found the first piercing into her leg stung ridiculously. Kellen sucked in a breath, concentrated on ignoring the burning pain, and focused on making two neat rows of tiny stitches. She kept it together until she snipped the last stitch, then allowed her body to go limp as her world narrowed to a single point of pain.

*

As another night approached, Dana finished interviewing a nurse practitioner with Annie, checked on the progress of the construction in the medical center, and then headed to Kellen’s cabin, much as she had done for the last two days. Not that she expected Kellen to have come back unnoticed. She just wanted to be there when the wanderer finally returned.

She encountered the girls just as they were leaving the cabin. That they were equally concerned about Kellen was self-evident. Ren looked at her hopefully until Dana shook her head, indicating she hadn’t heard anything new. “I’m sorry. I wish I knew something, but I don’t.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Cody replied.

“I hope so.”

The girls wished her a good night then disappeared into the darkness, leaving Dana to let herself in. The silence of the cabin welcomed her and surrounded her with Kellen. With her belongings and her style, her carvings, and even her scent.

For the first few minutes, she busied herself rebuilding the fire the girls had started. She ate the sandwich she’d brought while standing up in the kitchen, then made some coffee and poured herself a hefty mug. After tidying the kitchen, she stretched out on the sofa, closed her eyes, and began what had become a nightly vigil. Waiting for Kellen to return.

She must have fallen asleep. There could be no other explanation because when she next opened her eyes Bogart was only inches away, looking at her curiously. When he licked her hand in greeting, Dana sat up, scratched his head, and looked around until she spotted Bogart’s travel companion.

She stopped breathing. Had to force herself to begin again.

Kellen had shed her top and was wearing only a navy sports bra, bloodied and filthy jeans, and bruises. She was leaning over the stainless-steel sink in the kitchen and was sticking her arm under running water.

For a moment, Dana stared at her pale face and bloodshot eyes. She looked to be in pain and emotionally wrung out. But what worried her even more was Kellen had a great deal of blood on her—likely her own—and Dana had no idea how badly she was hurt.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Kellen said without looking up. She sounded so tired. Using her elbow, she shut off the faucet and raised her dripping forearm while she inspected the cut. “It should have stayed closed, but the damned glue didn’t dry properly. Probably got too cold out on the mountain. Still, it looks clean enough, don’t you think? More like a bad cat scratch than anything else, though it stings a little.”

Stings a little?
Nonplussed, Dana looked at the blood and water running from Kellen’s cut and bruised arm. She stared a moment longer at the bruises covering her back, then looked down at her ripped and bloodied jeans. It made her wonder what horror lay beneath the jagged tears.

“Your arm could use stitching,” she said, “but that’s a guess. I’d also like to take a look at your leg.”

“My leg’s fine, but my arm—” She scowled at the cut. “I just wish the glue had held. The location of the cut made it impossible for me to stitch it myself.”

“Stitch it yourself?” Dana searched her eyes. “Is that what you did with your leg?”

Kellen nodded and shrugged.

“Okay. Why don’t I go get my medical bag? When I come back, we can decide what’s best for your arm. After that, I’ll still want to take a look at your leg as well as any other damage you may have incurred.”

She looked at Kellen’s face, a complex mixture of frustration, embarrassment, and unhappiness. Watched the lines around her mouth tighten and saw her look away before she looked back at her with shadowed eyes. “No need.”

“Kellen—”

“No need for you to go get your medical bag, Doc. There’s a fully stocked first-aid kit on the shelf in the front closet. It’s in a tackle box. Not to say we’re accident prone, but between the girls and me, it pays to keep one handy.”

Dana smiled. “Damn, Kellen. I think I just might like you.”

Kellen grinned. “You mean you’re not sure?”

“Fishing for a compliment?” Not waiting for a response, Dana walked to the closet and opened the door. Her eyes were immediately drawn to a black backpack. This would be the backpack Annie had talked about. The one Kellen kept packed just in case she needed to run. The temptation to bring it down and ask about it was nearly overwhelming. But now was not the time. Ignoring it for the time being, she spotted the tackle box and reached for it.

“Dana?”

She turned and looked at Kellen, still standing by the sink. “Yes?”

“Thank you.” She hesitated, trailing off as if searching for better words. “I’m not sure why you’re here, but for some reason, it helps. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome. We can talk about why I’m here later. First things first.” Dana brought the first-aid kit to the kitchen and set it on the table. “Can you get out of those jeans on your own or do I need to cut them?”

Kellen looked down at her bloodstained jeans and grimaced. She struggled out of them and a minute later stood swaying in her sports bra and boy shorts. Poised between movement and total collapse. “Not quite how I imagined getting out of my clothes with you,” she murmured.

“You imagined getting naked with me?” Dana teased as she picked up Kellen’s arm and examined the cut.

She took an audible breath. “Sorry. A couple of days in backcountry with no one around except Bogart, and I forget how to talk around people.”

“No worries.” Dana grabbed an alcohol wipe and cleaned the damage Kellen had done to her arm. The bleeding was minimal and on closer examination the cut didn’t look too bad. Her skin was warm, soft. “Does that mean you didn’t imagine getting naked with me?”

“No—I mean, yes. Yes, I’ve imagined it, but never would I have imagined having this conversation with you. Or anyone. And just so you know, you have no reason to fear the imaginings of my inner teenager.” She choked out a laugh. “So can we please forget it?”

“Forget you want to get naked with me?” Dana finished wrapping Kellen’s arm, all too aware of the simmering arousal she felt having a barely dressed Kellen this near.

And why not? Kellen was intelligent, passionate in her beliefs, and beautiful. A combination in a woman that was deadly to Dana’s self-control. With effort, she turned her attention to Kellen’s leg. “Sweet Jesus.”

A deep crimson flushed Kellen’s face. “I’m aware I’m a scarred mess—”

There are critical moments when the right or wrong word can irrevocably change the course of a relationship, Dana thought. This was definitely one of those moments.

“Kellen, darling, at the moment I’m not looking at any scars you might have. And were this any other more personal situation where I found myself with you inches away and nearly naked, I might be inclined to tell you just how damned beautiful I think you are,” she said as she forced herself to return her focus to a set of parallel lines. Twin rows of tiny black stitches on a well-muscled thigh. “But right now I’m a doctor examining your leg. You stitched this yourself?”

Kellen swallowed visibly. “Yes. Why? Is there a problem?”

“Problem? No, I wouldn’t say it’s a problem. It’s just that I’ve seen emergency department doctors unable to do as good a job. Where the hell did you get your medical training?”

“The street.”

The girls hugged Kellen until her ribs ached when she stopped by their cabin and woke them up just before sunrise. But she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

She made them an early breakfast and talked with them about what she’d seen and done until the sun peeked over the mountains and broke through the tall pines, leaving the sky streaked with pink. And then, ignoring the pull of stitches on her leg and the ache in her head, she took them with her and put them to work, helping her with the finishing touches in the medical center.