Authors: Barbara Bretton
But Hayley needed him more.
Finn saw her make her getaway.
“Go to hell,” she said when he caught up with her on the staircase.
“We need to talk.”
“Go talk to my mother. I don't want to hear anything you have to say.”
She had the right to her feelings. He couldn't pretend to understand what was going on inside her right now. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wasn't going to leave her side.
She was crying full out when they finally hit the parking garage. Neither one acknowledged the fact that huge tears were running unchecked down her cheeks. By the time they found her borrowed minivan her tears had turned into sobs.
“I'll drive,” he said, reaching for her keys.
“Like hell you will.”
“You're in no shape to drive.”
“Reach for the keys again, Rafferty, and I swear it'll be the last thing you do!”
This wasn't the time to back off.
“You're angry and you're hurt, and I wish I had told you about Tommy before it exploded in your face, but I didn't. I screwed this up, Hayley, and I'm sorry. You can be as mad as hell at me, but there's no way I'm letting you drive that car.”
“You can't stop me,” she said through her sobs.
“Yeah,” he said, “I can.”
He took a step forward.
She held her ground for a long moment, then threw the keys at him. They bounced off his chest and clattered to the ground.
She climbed into the passenger seat and curled up into a ball of misery.
He drove them out of the garage and toward the A.C. Expressway.
“Do you want to go home?” he asked as they waited at a traffic light.
She shook her head no.
They rode a few miles in silence punctuated by the occasional sob.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
She gave him a
you must be kidding
look.
“We could go dancing.”
Her eyes widened and he saw the faintest hint of a smile.
“Bowling?”
The sobbing eased into crying. “Not funny.”
“A little funny,” he said. “In a twisted kind of way.”
“I lied before.” Her crying slowed. “I could eat my way through Hershey, Pennsylvania.”
He exited the highway so quickly the tires squealed.
“Where are we going?”
“To get you some chocolate.”
“I was only kidding about Hershey,” she said, wiping her eyes on her crisp white sleeve. “You could pull into a ShopRite. A pound or two of M&M's would do the trick.”
“I can do better than that. How does a hot fudge sundae sound?”
“Better than Valium,” she said, “but I can't go in like this. My nose looks like something Bozo the Clown glued on.”
He peered at her in the darkened van. “Yeah, it's a little red.”
“A little? I could substitute as a traffic light.”
“You're going in for ice cream, not a photo shoot.”
“Look at me.” She gestured toward her rumpled white coat and bright red clogs. “I'm a freak.”
“You look fine.”
“I look like I should join the circus.”
“You want me to order take-out?”
“Yes.”
“Hot fudge sundae with vanilla ice cream?”
“Hot fudge with chocolate ice cream. I need reinforcements.”
“You're not going to drive off and leave me stranded, are you?”
“Don't worry.” Her smile was wry and weary. “Right now I'd stay here the rest of my life if I could, Rafferty.”
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Hayley waited until he disappeared into Friendly's then climbed into the driver's seat, turned the key, and roared out of the parking lot. The last thing she saw in her rearview mirror was the shocked look on his face as he burst through the front door in time to see her drive away without him.
It should have felt a lot better than it actually did.
By the time she had gone six blocks remorse overtook her and she retraced her steps back to the restaurant where she found him inside eating the biggest hot fudge sundae she had ever seen.
She grabbed a clean spoon from an empty table and sat down opposite him.
“I was going to leave you here,” she said as she scooped up some of the hot fudge.
“I probably would have done the same thing.” He pushed the bowl of ice cream, fudge, whipped cream, and nuts closer to her. “Except I wouldn't have come back.”
“I didn't want your death on my conscience,” she said, licking the spoon. “I had a vision of you walking along the side of the road and being abducted by a cross between Freddy Krueger and Jason.”
“Thanks for the thought,” he said. “I was going to call for a limo.”
“I keep forgetting you're rich,” she said. “Must be nice to be able to snap your fingers and summon up a stretch with a full bar.”
“You'll find out for yourself pretty soon.”
“Don't say that.” She scooped up more hot fudge, this time with a little ice cream on it. “Nothing's going to change.”
“It's changing right now.”
“What do you mean?”
He popped a huge spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. “Trust me on this: you're on the radar.”
“And here I thought my cakes were going to be what put me there.” Her laugh sounded just this side of bitter. “You should have warned me.”
“I wanted to.”
“So why didn't you?”
“Would you have believed me if I had?”
“Don't go all lawyer on me, Rafferty. I asked you a simple question: why didn't you tell me?”
“We had no proof. We still have no proof, for that matter, but if Lizzie hadn't called when she did on Sunday I might have told you then.”
“With Tommy's blessing.”
“Without it.”
She scooped up a spoonful of whipped cream. “Did you call my mother and tell her about this?”
“We didn't tell anyone.”
“So if she didn't know what was going on, why did she come home early?”
“That's something you'll have to ask your mother.”
She started to say something, then shook her head. “How much time do I have before it hits the gossip columns?”
He checked his watch and she laughed hollowly.
“That much?”
“Even less.”
“Oh God.” She rubbed her temples against the dull ache that was building. “I don't want Lizzie to hear about this on TV.”
“It's almost eleven,” he said. “It might have already hit the local news.”
She polished off the rest of his hot fudge sundae in three bites. “I have to get home.”
“Give me the keys.”
“I'm not crying anymore,” she pointed out. “I can drive.”
“Then I'll ride shotgun.”
“You don't have to do this. I'm fine.”
“I'm the one who was abandoned in an ice cream shop in South Jersey. You think I'm letting you leave without me a second time?”
“I'm not worried about you, Rafferty. You could always call for that limo you told me about.”
“Is that what you want me to do?”
Her life would be easier if she did, but she could see herself with this man. The glass seemed half full when he was around. The timing was wrong. The situation couldn't be more complicated, but if she pushed him away now they might not get a second chance.
“My track record isn't the greatest when it comes to men,” she said. “Sometimes I think Lizzie's judgment is better than mine.” She took a deep, steadying breath then plunged in. “So here's the thing: are you doing this for me or are you doing it for your boss? Because if you're doing it for your boss, then maybe you really should phone for that limo becauseâ” She stopped. “Okay. For once I'm going to stop talking before I say something I shouldn't.”
Something like
Kiss me hard and long until I can't think any more about Tommy Stiles or my mother or how I'm going to tell Lizzie.
He didn't say a word.
Neither did she.
It didn't seem to bother him, but it bothered her a lot.
“I don't think I can handle another one of our awkward silences tonight, Rafferty,” she said after the waitress dropped their check on the table and dashed off.
Their eyes locked. Neither one looked away. They were more naked in that moment than they had been the other afternoon in her bed. More naked than if they had stripped down to the skin right there in Friendly's.
She slid the keys across the table toward him. “You drive.”
“You're sure?”
She inhaled softly. “I'm sure.”
It wasn't much, but they both knew it just might be everything.
“I guess I'd better check for messages,” Hayley said when they settled back into the minivan.
“Seventeen voice mails,” Finn said, glancing at the display on his phone. “Six texts.”
“Eleven voice and fourteen texts,” Hayley countered, “but then I have a teenage daughter with a keyboard fixation.”
“They're keeping CeCe and Willow in the hospital overnight,” he said, reciting a message from Anton. “Nothing serious. Just to be safe.”
“They're keeping my mother too,” Hayley said, listening to one of Fee's messages. “Sounds like jet lag caught up with her. She had a dizzy spell in front of an EMT.”
“So where do you want to go?”
“Hawaii,” she said, “but I'll settle for the hospital.”
While Finn placed some call backs, Hayley phoned home.
“You're famous,” Fee said in lieu of hello. “You're on all the local stations.”
“Oh God,” Hayley groaned. “How bad was it?”
“Pretty bad,” Fee said. “I wish you'd warned me. I would have brought my nitroglycerin with me. The thought of Jane and that rocker gave me angina.”
“So you didn't know either.”
“Not a clue. I never quite bought the sperm donor story but since there wasn't anyone on the horizon I let it go.”
“Who's the guy she brought with her?”
“Happy Father's Day times two,” Fee said with a dry laugh. “He's her fiancé.”
“How's Lizzie taking all of this?”
“She was running a fever so she took her meds early. So far she's slept through everything but your mother's arrival and abrupt departure.”
“I'm on my way to the hospital but I'll come right home after. If she wakes up, just stall her until I get there.”
“I'd think twice if I were you. The street in front of the bakery is crawling with news crews. One of them banged on the door but I called Joe at the station house and he sent a car over to keep an eye out. Like it or not, you're famous, honey.”
So far she didn't like it at all.
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At the best of times, emergency rooms were chaos central. When you dropped a rock star, a supermodel, and their respective entourages into the mix, you were asking for trouble.
“Where the hell have you been?” Tommy barked when he first caught sight of Finn near the nurses' station. “You had your cell off.”
“I was with Hayley,” he said.
Tommy looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. He gestured instead toward the curtained cubicle behind him. “Willow won't talk to me. She says its over and she's going back to the city without me.”
“She's upset,” Finn said, stating the obvious. “Give her time to digest all the new information. She'll calm down.”
Tommy glanced around. “Where is she?”
“Talking to her mother's friend.”
“How is she taking it?”
“Pretty well, all things considered. She's mostly worried about Lizzie.”
“You were right,” Tommy said, looking suddenly very old and very tired. “This was one shitty idea. I should have listened to you from the jump.”
“Who knew her mother would show up?”
“Or CeCe,” Tommy said, dragging his hand through his hair. “What a fucking disaster.”
“How is she?”
“She screams for Valium every time she realizes she has a thirty-eight-year-old granddaughter.”
“She'll adjust.”
“Don't bet on it. This is a major blow to her self-esteem.”
Anton, nursing a cup of coffee, joined them. “Zach and Winston found a game room on the third floor. I think a career in medicine is starting to look good to them.”
The entire extended Stiles clan had taken over the place. They were in the ER, the self-serve cafeteria, talking on cell phones in the hallways, the game room, playing cards in the lobby.
“What happened to our friends from the press?”
“Hospital security kicked their asses out,” Anton said. “They screamed like bloody hell about their First Amendment rights, but the hospital hung tough. I was impressed.”
“Speaking of security,” Finn said, “how did Hayley's mother get into the suite without a pass?”
“I asked the old guy,” Anton said. “Apparently, we need to hire on new staff.” Jane and John had followed the minidressed models into the venue unnoticed.
“Hayley phoned home,” Finn told his friends. “Her aunt said the street was lousy with news crews.”
“She doesn't have a clue what she's up against,” Tommy said, drumming his fingers against his thigh. “They'll eat her alive.”
“She shouldn't go back there,” Anton agreed. “Not until this blows over.”
“She can't afford to check into a hotel,” Finn reminded them. “Besides, she has a kid and a business. She's going back.”
“She could close until this blows over,” Tommy said. “We have plenty of room at the house.”
“You've been rich too long, Tommy. She can't afford to shut the place down.”
“She has help. Why can't they run the place for a couple of days?”
“Hayley isn't great at delegating.”
“What does that mean?”
“When you get to know your daughter, you'll understand,” Finn said.
“Talk to her,” Tommy said. “She'll listen to you.”
Maybe before this happened, Finn thought, but now he wasn't so sure.
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“I think it's a wonderful idea,” Jane said from her hospital bed. “Tom told us about his home. There would be plenty of room for all of us.”
“You'd actually stay there?” Hayley asked, amazed. “You don't even know the man.”
“We had a child together.”
“A child you never told him about.”
“A bad decision on my part,” Jane said. “One I was hoping to correct.”
“You wouldn't feel strange being there with him and his family?”
“Not at all,” Jane said. “He's a lovely young man. He always was. I think it would be a good thing for us to bond as a family.”
Hayley made a show of searching the room. “Where's the Kool-Aid?” she muttered. “It has to be here somewhere.”
“John is in total agreement,” Jane went on, ignoring Hayley's best theatrics. “He and Tom were talking about playing a round of golf together.”
“Well, I hope you and John have a lovely visit.” She had already heard their tale of love among the ruins. It would take her two or three lifetimes to adjust to Jane as part of a couple. It might take eternity to adjust to her as a married woman. In some ways it was a tougher adjustment than accepting Tommy Stiles as her biological father.
“We want you and Lizzie to join us.”
“Not going to happen.”
“I spoke with Fiona. She told me about the news vans out front. They won't be able to harass you at Tom's home.”
“Thanks, but I can handle myself.”
“And what about Lizzie? She's a child. Can you imagine the pressure they'll bring to bear against her just to get a morsel of news?”
“Lizzie has the flu. She'll be staying in the next few days anyway.”
“You're an exceedingly stubborn woman,” Jane observed with almost clinical detachment. “It's not your best character trait.”
“Hiding the identity of your daughter's father for thirty-eight years isn't one of your better traits either, Mom.”
“I explained my chain of logic. At that time, in that world, I believed it made perfect sense.” The Women's Movement was just getting started when Jane found out she was pregnant with Hayley. Pregnancy without marriage didn't carry the same stigma it once had. It was a new world and she was a strong and independent woman blazing a trail into uncharted territory.
And then there was Tommy himself.
“You should have told him you were pregnant.”
“I considered it,” Jane said, “but ultimately I decided against doing so.” Which explained why his name was on the original version of Hayley's birth certificate.
“Because he was twenty?”
“Yes,” Jane said, “partly because he was so young and had his entire life ahead of him. Even I could see he was heading toward something wonderful. He needed the freedom to follow his path.”
Hayley rolled her eyes. “How noble of you.”
Jane bristled. “I meant it as an act of generosity.”
“You meant it as a way to keep control for yourself.”
“That's a very perceptive observation.”
“You should hang out with us right-brainers more often, Mom. We might surprise you.”
“You've never been anything but a surprise,” Jane said. “And a delight.”
“And a bit of a disappointment.”
“A puzzlement, but never a disappointment.”
“At least now I know why I'm the way I am. I have rock and roll in my veins, not academia.”
Jane didn't laugh often but when she did, her daughter took it as a personal triumph. Hayley was one of the few people on the planet who could reduce her serious mother to helpless laughter and she enjoyed every second of it.
John popped his head around the curtain.
“Ladies, is everything allâ”
Hayley watched as his lined and serious face split into a smile as wide as the Atlantic beyond the hospital windows. He locked gazes with Jane and the look of love in their eyes was so real, so intimate, Hayley had to look away.
“Clearly all is well,” he said with a smile for Hayley. “I'll leave you to your conversation.”
“I like him,” Hayley said after he left. “I can see why you decided to come home early and show him off.”
Jane's smile faded then reformed itself into a weaker facsimile of the original.
“What did I say?” Hayley prodded. “That is why you came back to the States early, isn't it?”
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Given a choice, Jane would have kept her secret to the grave. But her daughter had asked her a direct question and in light of all that had happened and was still happening, only the truth would serve.
“No, it isn't,” she said. “I came home because my cancer is back.”
Her daughter flinched but said nothing. She had taught her well.
“I found out a few weeks after I met John. It was, as you would imagine, a bitter discovery.”
Hayley nodded but still said nothing. Her blue-green eyes were swimming with tears.
“I'm a scientist. I understand the importance of family histories, DNA testing, genetic counseling. I know all of that but I still willfully kept you from learning about half of your DNA.”
“That's it?” Hayley sounded amazed. “All of this just so I can blame my cellulite on the Stiles side of the family.”
“The implications extend far beyond cellulite.”
She forced a smile. “I guess the humor gene comes from the Stiles side too.”
“You're deliberately missing the point.”
“I wish I could, Mom,” Hayley admitted with the bluntness characteristic of all Maitland women. She took a deep, shuddery breath. “What's your prognosis?”
Jane's candor failed her and she looked down at her hands. “I'm almost eighty. This is all icing on a very wonderful, very old cake.”
“A cake metaphor,” Hayley said, clearly struggling with her emotions. “I like it.”
She met her daughter's eyes and saw the beginning of forgiveness in them.
“I like it too,” Jane said. “Very much.”
Hayley hesitated for only a second before she fell into Jane's open arms and cried like her heart would break.
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“You surprised me,” Finn said as he rode back to Lakeside with Hayley in her borrowed minivan. “I didn't think you'd take Tommy up on his offer.”
“I surprised myself,” she admitted. “The last few hours everything has been a surprise to me.”
“You made the right decision. A couple of days in the news cycle and then something else will come along to take its place.”
“That sounds cynical.”
“It's a cynical business. You have to learn how to protect what's important and let the rest go.”
She checked her mirrors, then changed lanes. “I've never been very good at the letting-go part. Worriers never are.”
“How are you holding up?”
She was silent for a moment. “It still seems pretty surreal to me. With all the drama around my mother, I haven't really had a chance to think much about Tommy.”