Just Above a Whisper (4 page)

“Maddie,” Jace called to her and was ignored. “Madalyn,” he tried, but she would have none of it.

She heard him move and knew that he would be beside her in a moment. She was on the sofa in the parlor, and he sat down, his arm sliding along the back until it brought him very close.

“Mrs. Randall,” he whispered coaxingly.

This time she smiled and let him pull her head to his shoulder.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Maddie replied, never tired of saying it or hearing it.

Jace held her close, truly glad she wasn’t sick but also debating the question in his mind about services in the morning. He forced himself to push it aside. He wanted to attend where Mr. Muldoon taught, but something stopped him from mentioning it to his wife. He held her as well as his tongue, hoping there would be an opportunity the following week.

Reese sat on the floor of her dark bedroom, her back against the door, and listened to Mr. Zantow bang around in the kitchen. It was late, and he’d just arrived back from the tavern. She knew the lock on her door worked, but when he was especially loud, she felt better blocking the door with her body as well.

She didn’t want Sunday to end this way. Mr. Zantow usually did most of his drinking on Saturday nights, but lately he’d added Sunday as well. Reese gave her head a little shake and remembered the nice time they’d had in the new meetinghouse that morning. Douglas had taught about faithfulness, and Reese had learned some surprising truths. She was glad no one made a big deal of the new building. It had been fun to see it done and to smell the freshly cut wood, but for the most part it was business as usual.

“Reese!” Mr. Zantow suddenly shouted, but Reese knew enough not to come out.

Mr. Zantow shouted one more time, but this time with less volume. Reese thought he might be wandering away, and she relaxed some. Debating whether she wanted to go to bed or sleep right where she was, Reese deliberately shifted her mind back to the sermon and what Douglas might tell them next week.

Maddie could hardly believe she was there, and with her husband beside her. She had watched this meetinghouse being built but had made herself not think about the pastor and the conversations they’d shared in the past. Now her own spouse had an interest that made hers look tame. He had questions and was determined to find answers.

Jace had asked Maddie midweek to think about going to the new meetinghouse with him and she’d agreed, but not until last night had she finally asked him why he was so urgent. His face and voice a mixture of humility and excitement, Jace had revealed everything.

“It’s the baby,” he had said softly. “I’ve never felt so excited and frightened at the same time. This is what I’ve dreamed. Almost from the moment I met you, I wanted this: a life with you, in our own home, and with children. Now that it’s happening, I find I don’t have all the answers. I can see this little person looking up to us and asking questions, and we can’t tell him a thing.”

“Do you remember when you asked me about what our children might believe?”

“I remember.”

“I said that they would believe what we believe.”

Maddie watched her husband grow speechless. She waited, but he was still quiet.

“Jace, what is it?”

“I don’t know what I believe, Maddie. I’m not sure of anything. I can hardly think of anything else, it has me so bothered.”

Maddie could have chosen to be angry, but she remembered how patient he’d been with her in the past. And in truth, she still had her own unanswered questions. They weren’t made more urgent by the baby’s arrival, but at night she was still inclined to fall asleep with her mind unsettled and confused. It wasn’t at all restful.

“Are you all right?” Jace suddenly took her hand and bent toward her.

Maddie nodded, glad they were in one of the back pews. She felt as though everyone had stared at them, and many people had looked when they came in, but the faces had been smiling, and Maddie remembered the one other time she’d met with this church family. Her sister-in-law had been with her, and everyone had been extremely kind and welcoming.

A moment later, Douglas Muldoon was up front, smiling and welcoming the congregation. Maddie’s apprehension melted away in the next few minutes. Indeed she might have been alone in the room. She hung on every word spoken and listened carefully to the verses read and songs sung.

She didn’t want to talk right now—she might miss something— but just as soon as the service was over, she would thank her husband for bringing her along.

“We’ve been invited to the Muldoons’ for dinner,” Jace told Maddie as they exited the meetinghouse.

“Who invited us?” Maddie asked quietly, her eyes huge.

“Mr. Muldoon.”

Maddie’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Jace watched her.

“We don’t have to go,” he started, but Maddie had taken his arm.

“Please, Jace, don’t go without me.”

He knew she wasn’t talking about dinner. Not caring if anyone noticed, Jace put his arms around her.

“Remember what I said about giving up?”

“Yes.”

“We won’t do that. Not on our questions, and not on each other.”

“What if he can’t answer our questions?”

“I don’t think that’s our problem, Maddie. I think we’re in greater danger of not wanting the answers.”

Maddie looked up at him, knowing how true it was.

“Maddie?” Jace asked quietly, calling her name and leaving it up to her.

“Let’s go to the Muldoons’,” Maddie answered, not sure if the fluttering under her ribs was about the decision she’d just made or the dinner to follow.

Two

“You mentioned a verse about creation,” Jace mentioned over dinner in the Muldoons’ parlor.

Douglas nodded, and Jace took that as permission to continue.

“If the gospel is the news that Jesus Christ died for the sins of man, I don’t understand how you tied that verse into the gospel.”

“Did you catch my use of the word ‘theocentricity’ this morning?” Douglas asked.

“I think so.”

“Are you familiar with that word?”

“No, but I know it’s talking about something being in the center.”

“That’s right.
Theo
is the Greek word for God.
God
-centered. God in the center.”

“The center of what?”

“Of everything: creation, Scripture, our lives. There is no better place to start to get a grip on that truth than Genesis, because it shows God’s authority over His creation. And that tells us that He’s to be the center of our lives.”

Jace nodded, taking it in, not aware of what was going on with his wife.

“Mother,” Hillary said quietly from the other end of the table.

Alison leaned toward her daughter.

“Is Maddie all right?”

Alison looked toward Maddie to see what her daughter was talking about and found their guest very pale. The men were still talking, and Maddie was listening, but Alison stretched her hand over and touched her arm.

“Are you feeling all right?” she asked quietly.

Maddie felt a little light-headed but didn’t want to interrupt the conversation. She gave Alison a smile and a nod, but the older woman was not convinced. She was still watching her when Jace looked Maddie’s way.

“Maddie?” he began.

“I’m all right,” she said, not sure what everyone was seeing but not feeling all that bad. “May I ask a question?”

“Certainly,” her husband agreed, his eyes still watchful.

“Is there a verse that talks about this theocentricity?”

“All of Scripture is theocentric,” Douglas explained. “But one of my favorite verses on that subject is John 1:3, which says, ‘All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made.’ And also the first chapter of Colossians, which says in part, ‘For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers—all things were created by him, and for him; and he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church; who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in him should all fullness dwell.’”

“Do you have the whole Bible memorized?” Maddie had to ask.

“I wish I did, Maddie. I can recite those verses for you because our church family has been studying that subject for a long time.”