Just Above a Whisper (37 page)

Reese Thackery had brought out something inside of him that he didn’t know existed. She was hard-working and smart, easily the most capable woman of his acquaintance. There was also something altogether vulnerable about her, something that caused Conner to wish he could protect her forever.

“Now let’s look at a few verses in Psalm 25,” Conner finally heard Douglas say, and he realized he needed to listen.

“I’m going to read just four verses to you, but I don’t want you to miss a few elements. In these four verses, ‘thy,’ ‘thou,’ or ‘thee’ is used ten times. David, the author of these words, is speaking in complete humility, understanding that his salvation is all about God: God’s desire to save and God’s desire to keep us. David understands this. I’m going to start in verse four and just point out a few things as we go along.

“ ‘Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths.’ Now this is not a complicated verse. It seems pretty straightforward, but we tend to be blind to the seriousness of our sin. When we ask God to show and teach us, we’re not always ready for that prayer to be answered.

“Verse five says, ‘Lead me in thy truth, and teach me; for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.’ Just in case you’ve forgotten, we’ve already covered five of the thy-thou-thee references to God. There’s no missing them in these verses. God’s presence, His will, and His power will not be ignored.

“Okay, verses six and seven. ‘Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindness; for they have been ever of old. Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord.’

“Did you catch the ‘remembers’? First David asks that God remember, then he asks Him not to remember, and then he wants Him to remember again. How many of us have sins from the past that we never want to have to think about again? David is asking God to let those stay in the past.

“And all for God’s glory. David will certainly know the benefits of God’s goodness, but the ultimate glory will be God’s. Did you notice the phrase ‘they have been ever of old’? We don’t talk like that anymore, but I love those words. They remind me that God is the Creator. They tell us that even before creation, God was merciful and that his kindness was the most loving type.”

Sitting in the front row, his heart soaking in every word, Jace Randall found himself asking God to be His most loving that day. Jace had something to take care of, and he knew that nothing good could come of it without God’s kindness and mercy.

The Muldoons’ visit to the big house started with a tour. Reese felt a certain measure of pride that things looked nice, and as she had expected, Alison and Hillary fell in love with the house and furnishings as fast as she had.

Reminding herself to act like a guest—Troy had made a point of telling her that this morning—Reese followed along, happy to do that until it was time for the food to go on the table. She started out sitting with the others in the dining room, but male voices, all sounding confused and coming from the kitchen, caused her to excuse herself and head that way.

“What’s the matter?”

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” Troy started.

“Okay,” she agreed, and began to put rolls in a low bowl.

“Reese,” Troy tried again, only to have her agree and begin giving orders.

“Let’s put that fork with the meat. Good. Now those salads need spoons. Right there. Good.”

A few minutes later Reese looked things over, not speaking or looking at the men, and then went back to her seat. The Muldoon family was more than a little amused by all of this, and their smiles almost started Reese to laughing. Instead, she smiled at Joshua, who sat next to her, and looked up to see the men trooping in with all the platters and bowls.

The compliments were many, but the men were all careful to give credit to Reese. She was glad when Dalton prayed and everyone began to eat, taking the focus off of her.

Not for another five minutes did she see that the men had made no plans for drinks. Reese discreetly stood and went to Dalton.

“Shall I make some tea?”

His face was comical.

“I forgot we needed something to drink.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Reese assured him and slipped from the room.

If Dalton had looked at his brother just then, he would have found himself scowled at. Certainly it was Dalton’s idea to have Reese be a guest, but without someone to handle the details, it just didn’t work. Conner ate a little more of his meal, seeing that Reese had enjoyed little of hers, excused himself, and joined her in the kitchen.

“I knew this would happen,” he said, wasting no time displaying his feelings.

“What’s that?” Reese had gone right to whispering.

“You would have to work.”

“If I recall, you were the one who assured me that the three of you could handle it.”

“That lasted until I walked off Mrs. Greenlowe’s porch and realized what I’d said.”

Reese only smiled, checking the milk for freshness before putting it into a small pitcher.

“I don’t mind,” she countered.

“You’re doing it again,” Conner said.

“What am I doing?”

“Whispering.”

Reese looked at him. “Do I do that when I talk to you?”

“Often.”

“Why do you whisper?” Reese decided to ask.

“My throat was damaged when I was young.”

“So you can’t speak any louder?”

“No. In fact, some days my vocal cords wear out, and only rest brings my voice back.”

Reese nodded thoughtfully as she realized that he always wore his cravat quite high. She wondered if he was scarred but was careful not to drop her eyes away from his. Nevertheless, her curiosity about this man only increased.

A few seconds later Reese realized she was looking into his eyes. They were kind eyes, light blue, amid a handsome, almost boyish face, and right now those eyes were looking right back at her.

“What can I do to help?” Conner brought them back to the moment.

“I’ll load the tray,” Reese suggested, surprised at where her thoughts had gone. “And you can carry it.”

The job was accomplished a short time later, and water and tea were served at the table. Reese returned to her meal, ready to eat and glad to have tea with it. She was also thankful she had something to do with her hands and eyes; otherwise she would have gone right back to staring at Conner Kingsley, who occupied one end of the table.

“Hey, Doyle,” Jace said as soon as there was an opening. “Would you mind showing me a pair of boots in the store? I might not have time to come in this week.”

“Not at all,” Doyle agreed, leaving the women to their talk and slipping out the side door.

Jace felt terrible for the deceit; he didn’t need boots and planned to tell Doyle that. But the afternoon was wearing on, and he knew they wouldn’t be in town that much longer.

“I’m sorry I lied,” Jace confessed as soon as the door shut behind them.

“I’m not,” Doyle said bluntly, and Jace looked closely into his face, as he had been doing all day. Doyle appeared tired and older, and in only a few days’ time.

“You’ve got yourself all worked up. I can see it.”

“I’m not sleeping, and I’m having to hide that from Cathy.”

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Doyle. Explain it to me.”

“I’m not sick now, but as you know I was sick, and not that long ago. I didn’t fear death then, but I do now. I don’t know what to do about that.”

“Well, you’re asking at the right time,” Jace said. “If you think you can wait and argue your way into heaven at a later time, you’re in for a horrible surprise.”

Doyle looked at the man married to his niece and knew he would not play games with him.

“I’ve always seen myself as a good man,” Doyle confessed. “I don’t cheat my customers, and I’m generous when I can be. I love my wife, and I feel like I’ve done all right.”

“Then why all this fear now?”

Doyle’s heart sank. It was a powerful question, and one that he could not answer.

“If I drop dead right now, Jace, I don’t know what God will say to me. I don’t know if I’ll be in heaven.”

“But you can know. I learned that early this year. It took a long time, but the blinders are off my eyes. I can see exactly what the Bible was saying all along.”

“What has it said?”

“That I’m condemned unless God saves me, no matter how well I think I’m doing on this earth. My sin separates me from God, and without the shed blood of His Son, I’ll be lost for all of eternity.”

Doyle paled, but Jace’s expression was kind.

“I can tell you about what happened to me, Doyle. There’s a lot I don’t understand, but I can tell you my story.”

“Tell me,” the older man urged, and Jace began. He told Doyle how thankful he was that Maddie had had questions all those years and that she wasn’t able to let the subject rest. He explained to him how he’d not seen how serious his sin was, and then how frightened he’d been when he realized how great and powerful God was; that He could have taken his life at any time.

“That’s me, Jace.” Doyle was breathing hard. “It was Mr. Somer this time. It could have been me, and not just collapsing but dying. I’m not ready for that.”

“Would you like to be ready?” Jace asked, hoping he had the right words.

“More than anything, but I’m afraid. I’m so afraid that I can’t work or think straight.”

“This is what I said to God, Doyle. I told Him that I’m a sinner, and I believe that Jesus Christ is His Son. I told Him I believe that His blood alone can save me.”

“That’s all?” Doyle asked.

“No, Doyle, that’s not all. I didn’t come with my mind made up—I came in humility and desperation. The words weren’t complicated, but that doesn’t diminish the huge work Christ performed on my behalf when He died to save all men. I had to see my need, Doyle, and until I did, I couldn’t go to God with a repentant heart.”

“So I have to believe that my sin will condemn me?”

“Yes, and that God has the only answer through His Son.”

The word
answer
got Doyle’s attention as nothing else had. He was full of questions, and Jace had been answering those questions, but he didn’t like what he was hearing. Nothing Jace could tell him would work if he wasn’t willing to listen.

“Tell me one more time,” Doyle asked.

“Do you know you’re a sinner, Doyle, or do you think you’re all right?”

“I know I sin,” Doyle admitted, his heart paining him.

“There is no hope outside of the saving blood of Christ. He provided a path to God through belief in Him. When we confess our sin and need to God, and believe that His Son will save us, He does.”

“How will I know it’s true, Jace? How will I
know?
”

“You’ll be changed. On days when your heart doubts, you must go to Scripture and not rely on feelings or experience, but if your belief is true, you’ll be a changed man.”

“I have to do this,” Doyle whispered. “I have to take care of this now.”

“You can, Doyle,” Jace told him with a smile. “I found out that God doesn’t turn anyone away.”

And in the quiet store, with a sense of aloneness in the world, Doyle Shephard confessed his need to God and asked God to save him. Jace said little but listened as this man he cared for, his first friend in Tucker Mills, accepted the gift that only God could provide, and nearly cried himself when Doyle finished praying and wept like a child.