Just a Kiss (13 page)

R
iley accelerated through the green light. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly they were starting to hurt. He shifted his leg. It was so fatigued, his stub aching. He probably shouldn't have insisted on driving tonight.

Paige sat in the passenger seat, practically glued to the door. A terrible awkwardness had climbed into the car with them and seemed intent on thickening with each moment that passed.

After they'd come in off the deck, it had been easy enough to get lost in the crowd. He somehow made conversation with friends and neighbors as the evening wore on. Until, at last, Beau and Eden made their exit in a flurry of flying birdseed and confetti. They were off to Key West for a week.

And he was stuck here dealing with a real mess. A mess he'd made all by himself. He had no one else to blame. Paige had been upset and emotional, and he'd taken advantage of her, just like that night when she'd been drinking. Tonight he'd taken one look at those vulnerable blue eyes and he was a goner.

He clenched his jaw.
Idiot.
He had to fix this somehow. But he had no idea how.

His mind went back to the kiss. To the feel of her lips on his. The taste of her. Everything had been good in his world for those few seconds. So right. He allowed himself to relive every brush of her lips. Every touch of her hands. Every whisper of her breath. He wanted to cement each detail into his mind. They'd have to keep him for the rest of his life.

Because as right as it had felt, he'd only caught Paige at a weak moment. He didn't dare entertain the idea that she actually wanted the kiss. It would be purely wishful thinking. She deserved so much better than he had to offer. Surely she knew that.

He remembered the sight of her dancing with Dylan. Her joy as he spun her around and around. That memory was seared in his mind also. It was the one he should hold the closest. Dylan made her happy. Riley only made her sad.

“So . . . ,” Paige said, finally breaking the heavy silence. “Are we just going to pretend that didn't happen?”

Her voice sounded small in the confines of the car. He felt a pinch of guilt. He'd confused her, but good. And no wonder.

He squeezed the steering wheel. “Look, Paige . . . that shouldn't have happened. I don't know what . . .” He sighed. “It was just the wedding. Weak moment.”

Her words from earlier came tumbling out of his mouth. They seemed to fit. It was as good an excuse as any. Besides, there was no need to make a mountain out of a molehill.

“Let's not make a big deal of it. It was just a kiss.” It about killed him to say it. To make light of the best thing that had happened to him in forever.

“Just a kiss.”

He couldn't tell much from her tone of voice. And he sure wasn't going to look at her.

“So I think you're right,” he said. “We should just pretend it never happened.”

The long silence clawed at him until it was all he could do to keep from looking at her. He forced his eyes to stay on the spot where his headlights converged on the road ahead.

“Sure,” she said, a hint of something—relief?—in her voice.

A few minutes later he turned into Paige's drive and shut off the car. By the time he made it to the front door, she was already upstairs. He loosened his tie as he limped into his bedroom and shut the door.

He had to get out of town. He would call Noah this week and set a date to move down to Georgia. He had to get out of here before he wrecked things even worse than he already had.

Lucy tugged on Paige's arm, pulling her from Miss Trudy's newly renovated kitchen and into the hallway. The savory smells of pot roast and baker's yeast lingered in the air, and the oven dinged as the dinner rolls reached completion.

Miss Trudy was busy in the kitchen, and Zac and Riley were outside, hovering around Riley's motorcycle, which they'd pulled from the barn. He was planning to ride it home. Aunt Trudy had hated the thought of him riding it even before he'd lost his leg.

“I have to get the food on the table,” Paige said when they reached the end of the hallway.

“I can't believe you haven't called me,” Lucy whispered.

“Um, I just saw you last night.”

“Exactly. Or more importantly, I saw you . . .” She raised her finely arched brows. “
And
Riley . . . So, now that we've got a minute,
go ahead. Tell me everything.” She crossed her arms, waiting expectantly.

Paige lifted her shoulders. “There's nothing to tell, really.”

Lucy gave her a look. “Uh, I beg to differ. His lips were all over yours, sweetie pie.”

The memory of Riley's kiss hit her like a rogue wave, and a random shiver passed through her. She tried for an air of nonchalance. “It didn't mean anything. He said it was ‘just a kiss.' That it was the wedding, the romance and everything. You know how that can work on the mind.”

“Just a kiss. The wedding.”

Okay, maybe it was more than that. Remembering the moments leading up to the kiss, she winced. “He wants to forget it ever happened.”

Lucy's face fell.

“I think he just felt sorry for me. And . . . I think I might've actually kissed
him
. So it was, you know, all me.”

“Um, I'm not sure what kiss you're talking about, but the one I walked in on looked pretty darn mutual.”

“I was upset right beforehand. I was crying. He only kissed me back because . . . It was probably his way of . . . of comforting me or something.”

Lucy laughed. “Comforting you.”

“Seriously. I was feeling lonely last night. I was upset about my feelings for Riley, but he thought I was sad about having no family, and I let him believe it because I sure couldn't tell him the truth. And then I went and kissed him. What was he supposed to do? Push me away? You know Riley. He's got a tough front, but he's a softie inside. He'd never reject me like that.”

Lucy arched a brow. “So it was a pity kiss.”

“It wasn't even that, because
I
initiated it. It was a pity response.” She closed her eyes as if she could block out the thought. “And it was so awkward afterward. Terrible.”

Lucy touched her arm. “That was my fault. I barged in on you.”

“I don't mean then. I mean afterward. At the reception and all the way home. By the time I got home I just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. Actually, that's what I did.”

She pressed her fingers into her eye sockets. This morning had been just as bad. There'd been enough space between them in the pew to seat a family of five. And he'd hardly said two words to her. She didn't hear a thing Pastor Daniels said during the sermon.

“I don't know . . . ,” Lucy said. “I caught him staring at you after church today when you were talking to Sheriff Colton.”

“Of course he was. He was trying to figure out what planet I'm from.”

“You're perfectly human, Paige.”

“Well, no more kissing for me. And no more fussy hair or fancy dresses either, so just keep your womanly wiles to yourself.” She started to walk away.

Lucy caught her arm. “But you didn't say . . . the actual kiss . . . How was it?”

Paige couldn't help the warm feelings that rushed over her at the thought of the moment their lips had met. Any more than she could help the forlorn smile that followed. Maybe it hadn't meant anything to him. But one kiss was all it had taken for her.

“It was amazing.”

R
iley ran water in the sink for the supper dishes. He and Paige had gotten back to some semblance of normality over the past two days. Their relationship still seemed a little stilted, but what did he expect? He'd kissed his best friend.

They went through the motions at home and at work. He'd only been relieved tonight when she said she was going to the grocery after supper. It was past time to make that phone call.

He turned off the water and grabbed his cell, taking care with his leg as he shifted back to the front of the sink. Noah should be off work by now, though he and his wife, Josie, might be in the middle of supper. He dialed the number, then held the phone at his shoulder while he picked up the first plate and began scrubbing.

Dasher wove between his legs, her gray tail flicking high. She looked up at him, then slinked away as quietly as she'd come.

“Oo-rah!” Noah said.

Riley grinned at the familiar greeting. “Oo-rah!”

“Long time, no hear, Tank! How you doing, man?”

“It's all good. My brother just got married over the weekend. Lucky guy's in Key West right now.”

“Good for him. She the one who was married before?”

“Yeah, she really went through it with that guy. But she's a great match for Beau.”

“Have you heard from any of the guys?” Noah had just been finishing his tour when Riley started his. They'd bonded quickly though.

“Eddie and Fin called me a while back to see how I was doing,” he said, referring to a couple guys in their platoon who'd finished their tours. “Seems like they're adjusting all right.”

“Fin still moony-eyed over that Suzy he was missing?”

“Oh yeah. I expect he'll be putting a ring on her finger soon as he can buy one he thinks is worthy of her.”

“It'd help if money didn't burn a hole in his pocket so fast.”

They caught up on other details, careful to skim over the parts of the sandpit neither of them wanted to rehash. Noah seemed to be happy in his marriage, and his home improvement business was doing well.

“How's your recovery going?” Noah asked. “You getting mobile yet?”

“Oh yeah. Got my temporary prosthesis, and I'm staying busy. Still helping Paige out at the shelter.” He'd never revealed his real feelings for Paige, though Noah had once come across the picture of her that he'd carried.

“Well, when you get tired of working with the puppies, we could sure use you here.”

Noah's family owned the home improvement company. He'd been begging Riley to come work for him.

“Dad's itching to make his retirement official, but the work keeps coming in. I'm still at the office now, and I gotta say, paperwork is the pits.”

Riley ran water over the plate he'd washed. “That's why I called.
I'm about ready to move down there. My replacement at the shelter comes in a few weeks, so I should be able to get out of here then. That apartment over your garage still available?”

“Yeah, man. Absolutely. It'll be great to have you around. You sound pretty good.”

“I'm doing great. The prosthesis is working out. I'm walking and everything.” He didn't mention the soreness or the blisters or the hours of therapy and exercises he'd endured. Or the cramps and nightmares that plagued him. Oh, and the broken heart. He didn't mention that either.

“Tank . . . you sure you want to do this? Leave your family and everything? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm gung ho to have you down here. But you got a life there, and from everything you've said, it sounds like a pretty good one.”

Riley thought about Paige. About Paige and Dylan dancing together. Maybe it wouldn't be Dylan. Maybe it'd be some other guy. But eventually she'd find someone she couldn't live without, and he didn't want a front row seat.

“I'm ready to move on, you know? I need a change, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Georgia has to offer.”

“Warmer winters, for starters.”

“I could use some of that.” He tried not to think about winter at the family farm. About the miles of rolling hills covered with evergreens, or the big red barn, all of it layered with a fresh blanket of snow.

“Well, I'm looking forward to it,” Noah said. “Man, you gotta save me from all these numbers.”

“So I'll see you in a few weeks or so. I'll text you when I have a day and time. I don't have a whole lot of stuff to move in, but an extra hand would be nice.”

He wrapped up the call, turned off the phone, and shut off the water. A sound behind him made him turn around. Paige stood on the threshold of the kitchen, a dozen emotions fluttering over her pretty features.

Paige rewound the conversation she'd just walked in on, trying to make it work any other way than the way it sounded.

Ready to move on . . . need a change . . . see what Georgia has to offer.

The terrible dread that had begun blooming inside her spread like a toxic gas. An awful and familiar feeling washed over her, making her sway a little.

“Hey.” Riley turned back to the dishes. “Thought you were going to the store.”

And that he'd sneak in his phone call while she was gone? His casual tone wasn't fooling her for one minute.

“I forgot my list.” She snatched it off the table. “What was that about, Riley?”

He finished wiping the dish, ran it under the faucet, then turned the water off. Just when she thought he was going to ignore her, he dried his hands and turned around, meeting her eyes.

He gave her a strained smile. “I was meaning to talk to you.”

“Were you?” She crossed her arms. Her mind charged back to the day she found out he'd enlisted. After the fact, and not even from him.

“Look, Paige. I appreciate everything you've done for me. This has been a big adjustment, and you've been there for me every step of the way. I'm grateful.”

His words, his tone, were heavy with the weight of good-bye.

“I don't want your gratitude.” She wanted his love. But she couldn't say that. Hadn't she done enough? It was probably the kiss that was driving him away. Had to be. The thought sent warmth flooding into her cheeks.

“I just feel like . . . I need a fresh start, you know? Everything has changed so much. It's too hard to be here in Summer Harbor with all the memories when I can't do what I love.”

“I don't see why you can't. You're getting around really well.”

“Walking and lobstering are two different things. It's hard work—tough enough for an able-bodied person.”

“So you're just leaving. Again.” Leaving his family. Leaving her. She should be used to it by now. But she supposed being abandoned never became old hat. Her eyes burned.

“Don't take it personally.”

“How can I not take it personally? You're leaving me again, just like before.”

“Paige—”

“You didn't even talk to me about enlisting! You just did it. And you know how I found out, Riley? Beau told me. You didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself.”

He blinked. “You're mad at me for enlisting?”

“You left me! And you're leaving again. Everybody leaves me, so why should you be any different?”

“Come on, Paige . . .”

“You come on! You already left once, and by some miracle of God you survived that awful explosion. Do you have any idea what we went through, waiting to hear?”

“I'm sorry. It's not like I got wounded on purpose.”

“No, but you're choosing to leave again. Now, when you need
us more than ever.” When she needed
him
more than ever. “Maybe your body's healing, but you can't tell me your mind is keeping pace. I hear you at night. I've seen the nightmares. Watched you jump every time something falls.”

His jaw muscles twitched, and his eyes snapped with fire. “Stop it.”

“It's the truth. You need more counseling. You'll have to start over with a new counselor if you move, have you thought of that?”

“I'll be fine.”

“You'll be back to square one.”

“I'm not even seeing the flipping counselor!”

Paige's response died on her tongue.
Not seeing . . .
She searched his face.

He averted his eyes. The muscles of his jaw ticked.

“I take you every Tuesday.”

He tossed the towel on the countertop. “Yeah, well, I haven't been going.”

She waited until he made eye contact and saw the truth in those stubborn green eyes. He'd just been pretending? All those times she'd asked him how it had gone, he'd been lying to her?

She pressed her teeth together. “How long?”

His eyes shifted away again. “I went the first time.”

“The first—That's it? One time?” She stared at him. No wonder the nightmares hadn't gotten any better. No wonder he was irritable and moody and distant. How could she help him if he wasn't willing to help himself?

“It didn't go well.”

“Life isn't going well. And it's not going to until you get yourself some help. You think running away is going to make everything better?”

He glared at her. “I'm not running away.”

“Oh yeah? Since when did you want to live in Georgia? All you've ever talked about was settling here in Summer Harbor.”

“You don't understand.”

“Then explain it!”

“I need a fresh start, different scenery, different people.”

The thoughtless words prickled under her skin, and she winced.

Something like regret flickered in his eyes.

But it was too late. His words had already scorched her. Different people, huh? Maybe she should've been satisfied with best friend status. It sounded like even that was in jeopardy.

“Well. Thanks for the clarification.” She stuffed the grocery list into her front pocket and hitched her purse higher on her shoulder as she turned to leave. “I'll be at the store.”

“Paige . . . come on. I didn't mean it like that.”

She kept going until she reached her car. Then she pulled from the drive as she tried to swallow back the painful lump in her throat. But it was lodged as firmly as the pain in her heart.