Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy (2 page)

I stood back to give her room.

“Okay. Go,” I said.

Then I waited and waited. But Grandma didn’t do anything.

“Okay! Go!” I said louder.

Only just then, I saw something that made me even happier!

And it’s called
my grandma was wearing her fishing hat!

My eyes popped out at that thing.

“Grandma! Hey, Grandma! You’re wearing your fishing hat! And so that must mean you’re going to the lake today!”

I quick ran to the front door.

“Is Grampa Miller going to the lake with you? Is he out there in the truck?”

I looked outside.

“HEY! HE IS, GRANDMA! HE
IS
OUT THERE IN THE TRUCK!”

I opened the door.

“GRAMPA MILLER! HEY, GRAMPA FRANK MILLER! GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE! ’CAUSE THERE’S LOTS OF
RACCOONS TO CATCH UP THERE! EVEN MORE THAN AT YOUR HOUSE, PROBABLY!”

I zoomed back to the kitchen.

“Here, Grandma! Hold my raccoon net! I will put on my clothes and be back in a jiffy.”

Jiffy is the nickname for speedy quick.

Grandma Miller grabbed me by my p.j.’s.

“No, honey. Wait,” she said. “I’m afraid you can’t come with us today. We’re meeting some friends, and we’re already late. We just stopped by to borrow your daddy’s ice chest.”

Just then, I felt very crumbling inside.

“Yeah, only I
have
to come, Grandma. I have to,” I said. “Or else how will I catch a raccoon today?”

Grandma Miller bended down next to me.

“Yes, well, you see…that’s another thing, sweetie,” she said. “About the raccoon…I was just
kidding
when I said that, Junie B.
I never dreamed you would take me seriously.”

Just then, my nose started to sniffle.

“Yeah, well, you dreamed wrong, Helen,” I said.

Grandma Miller hugged me real tight.

“Oh, come on now. Don’t cry,” she said. “There are lots of other animals you can catch for Pet Day. Animals that are
much
nicer than raccoons.”

I shook my head real fast.

“No, there are not, either, Grandma Miller. You are just saying that to trick me,” I said.

Then I stood there and stood there a real long time.

’Cause what if she
wasn’t
tricking? What if there really
was
lots of other animals?

Finally, I did a big breath. “Okay. Tell me
the other animals. But this better be good.”

Grandma Miller did a smile.

“Wait right here,” she said.

Then she ran out to her truck and back again.

She was hiding something behind her back.

“Junie B., I’ve got someone who would love to meet you,” she said. “Close your eyes. And I’ll put him in your hand.”

My tummy got butterflies in it.

“What is it, Grandma? Will it tickle me? Will I like it? It won’t bite me, will it, Grandma Miller? Huh? It won’t, right?”

Then I closed my eyes real tight.

And my grandma opened up my fingers.

And she put the surprise right in my hand.

“EEEW! YUCK! IT’S A WORM! IT’S A WORM! GET IT OFF ME, GRANDMA! GET IT OFF RIGHT NOW!” I yelled.

Grandma Miller quick took back the worm.

“For heaven’s sake, Junie B. What in the world is the matter with you? It’s just a baby earthworm. Look how teeny he is. This little fellow would make a
wonderful
pet.”

I did a huffy breath at her.

“Yeah, only worms cannot be pets,
Grandma. ’Cause pets have fur so you can
pet
them. And worms just have ooey gooey skin.”

Grandma Miller looked surprised at me.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Not all pets have fur. My bird Twitter doesn’t have fur, and he’s a pet. And goldfish don’t have fur. And hermit crabs don’t have fur. And lizards don’t have fur. And—”

I covered my ears with my hands.

“Okay, okay. Enough with the fur,” I said. “But worms don’t have eyes or ears, either. And they don’t have legs or tails or feet or necks. And they don’t chirp or bark or cluck or meow. And so what kind of stupid pet do you call that?”

Grandma Miller thought and thought.

Then she smiled real big.

“I’d call that the kind of pet that won’t
wake up the neighbors or sniff the company or scratch himself silly,” she said back.

After that, she stood up. And she gave the baby earthworm to Mother.

“I’ll leave this little guy with your mother for now,” she said. “You can think it over and see if you want to keep him. I’ll check back with you later.”

Then she kissed me on my head.

And she grabbed the ice chest.

And she hurried out the door.

Mother looked at the baby worm in her hand. “My goodness. You
are
a little one, aren’t you?” she said.

She got an empty mayonnaise jar out of the cabinet.

Then she poked holes in the lid for air. And she put the baby worm inside.

Mother looked at him in there.

“You don’t even know where you are, do you, little fella?” she said. “I bet it’s kind of scary in there all by yourself.”

I turned my back on her. ’Cause I knew what she was up to, that’s why.

“You can’t make me like him, Mother,” I said. “Nobody can make me like him.”

“Of course not,” said Mother. “But just because
you
don’t like him doesn’t mean
I
can’t like him.”

She talked to the worm some more.

“Hmm. Maybe you’d be happier if you had some dirt to crawl around in,” she said. “Let’s go outside and see what we can do.”

After that, Mother put on her jacket. And she went outside. And she digged in the dirt from her garden.

She came inside and showed me the jar.

It looked kind of cute in there.

There was a rock and a stick and a dandelion and some clovers.

I peeked at the baby worm.

He peeked back, I think.

“Yeah, only I still don’t like him,” I said kind of softer.

I rocked back and forth on my feet.

“And anyway…even if I
did
like him, I don’t know what worms eat. And so what would I even feed that guy?”

Mother ruffled my hair.

“Are you kidding? That’s the best part about worms,” she said. “They get all of their food right from the soil. You don’t have to feed them anything at all.”

Just then, my baby brother started to cry.

“Uh-oh. The baby’s crying,” she said. “Here. Take this.”

Then she quick handed me the jar.

And she runned right out of the room.

I watched the little worm very careful.

He wiggled himself into the dirt.

I tapped on the glass.

“Yeah, only here’s the problem. Now I can’t see you anymore. And so what fun is that?” I asked.

I took off the lid and put my lips in the jar.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” I said real loud.

Then I waited very patient. But the worm did not come out.

“Hey, in there! Don’t you even know I’m talking to you?”

Then—all of a sudden—my brain thought of something very important!

Of
course
he didn’t know I was talking to him!

How could he know I was talking to him if he didn’t even have a name!

I quick closed my eyes real tight. And I tried to think of a worm name.

Pretty soon, my eyes springed wide open.

“NOODLE!” I said real thrilled. “I will name you Noodle! ’Cause noodles and worms are twins, practically!”

I yelled in the jar again.

“HERE, NOODLE! HERE, NOODLEY LITTLE NOODLE!”

Just then, Mother peeked her head in the kitchen door.

“What’s all the shouting about in here?” she asked. “Who’s Noodle?”

I pointed to my dirt jar.

“Noodle is my worm,” I said. “Only he crawled way into the dirt. And now he won’t come out. Not even when I call his name.”

Mother looked in the jar.

“Hmm…maybe he’s taking a nap,” she said. “Or maybe he’s just exploring his new home.”

I tapped on my chin.

“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe he might be looking for some friends to play with.”

Just then, I did a gasp.

“Mother! Mother! I bet that’s it! I bet little Noodle is lonely in there!
I bet he’s looking for friends!”

I zoomed to the closet speedy fast. And I put on my sweater.

“HOLD ON, LITTLE NOODLE! HOLD ON! HOLD ON! ’CAUSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH THIS PROBLEM, I THINK!”

After that, I grabbed Noodle’s jar.

And me and him zoomed outside to the garden again.

Friends do not come easy.

First, I tried to catch a butterfly. But it quick flied away.

Then I tried to catch a grasshopper. But it wouldn’t stand still.

Also I tried to catch a cricket and a gnat and a lizard. But those guys would not cooperate, either.

Finally, I sat down in the grass real glum.

“I am a flop at this job,” I said.

Only just then, I saw something very wonderful!

And it’s called
three ants were walking in the grass! And they were carrying a cheese puff on their heads!

My heart got very thumping.

“NOODLE! HEY, NOODLE! I FOUND FRIENDS! AND THEY’VE BROUGHT A DELICIOUS CHEESE SNACK!”

After that, I picked up the ants and the cheese puff. And I dropped them right inside the jar.

And that is not the only good news!

Because just then, a big, buzzy fly landed right on my sweater sleeve! And I swatted him with the jar lid! And he did not even die that much!

I put him in the jar, too.

Then I danced and danced all over my yard.

Because now Noodle had friends!

And I had pets for Pet Day!

And that is called
happily ever after!

I runned into the house very thrilled.

“Mother! Mother! I found friends for Noodle! I found Buzzy the Swatted Fly! Plus also I found three ants and a cheese puff!”

Mother looked at the friends.

“Oh my,” she said kind of soft.

“I know it, Mother! I know it is
oh my!
Noodle will
love
these guys! I know he will!”

After that, I quick took the jar to my
room. And I put it on my bed. And I waited for Noodle to meet his new friends.

I waited the whole entire afternoon.

Only Noodle never came out.

At dinnertime, I walked to the kitchen very slumping.

“Noodle is still hiding,” I said. “Plus the ants are the cheese puff. And Buzzy the Swatted Fly bit the dust.”

Mother lifted me into my chair. She put stew on my plate.

“Yeah, only how can I even eat stew? ’Cause I am depressed, I tell you,” I said.

Just then, someone opened the front door.

It was my Grandma Helen Miller.

She was bringing the ice chest back.

And guess what?

There was a giant fish in that thing!

My eyes popped out of my head!

“Grandma Miller! Grandma Miller! That fish is almost as big as me!” I said real thrilled.