Joint Intentions (Book 9) (43 page)

Enin placed his hands on the massive tree trunk while Ryson backed away.

"I'm ready," the coreless wizard stated as he braced himself.

"I'm going to pierce you in the back of the shoulder. It won't be a large wound, but you'll feel the sting first, then the burn."

"Please don't make me wait," Enin pleaded through gritted teeth.

Ryson granted Enin's request, and without another word, pressed the tip of his enchanted blade into the coreless wizard's flesh at Enin's left shoulder. The sword's radiance grew brighter, and Ryson could feel the surge of energy flow out of the blade. He focused on the current of magic, placed his beliefs within the pulsing rush. He recalled the image of his own soul. It was a vision he would never forget. He allowed the insight of that experience to sink deep into the magic raging through his sword.

Enin did not need that much guidance from the delver, but he accepted it in hopes it would ease the pain. It did, but the blazing surge still pushed him to the brink of unconsciousness. He screamed as he gripped the tree with all his might, his fingernails digging into the bark. He forced his spirit to push through the suffering and reach deep into the essence within the trunk. He directed the flow of magic through broken links that once connected him to the elf guard.

When Enin still had his core, he and Holli could communicate, share thoughts and concepts, even magical energy. It allowed the elf guard to maintain watch over the wizard, and it helped Enin teach Holli certain concepts in magic which could not be easily communicated through simple words.

Those links had been shattered when Enin lost his core, but the echoes remained. Enin worked feverishly against the burning agony to rebuild the connections. He directed the enchanted energy into old broken threads, twisted the fragments together, and for one instant, renewed the connection.

The flaming anguish almost subsided completely in that single moment. Enin was reconnected with Holli's essence. He could not see her, for the magic from Ryson's sword did not allow him to project his full awareness into Holli's limited consciousness. He could only call to her.

"Holli?"

"Enin?" a voice called back.

It was Holli.

The coreless wizard knew he had to work fast. He could only afford limited explanations, just enough so that she would allow him to bring her home.

"You saved us. Neltus has been defeated, his core removed. You have to come back now. Don't fight me."

Holli said nothing. For the elf guard, life had become simple, condensed. It was as if she had been placed in a cocoon. She did not hear, see, or feel anything around her. She had not fought against the limitations, did not struggle to break free. She was content to rest in the calm midst of her inner magic.

Enin, however, began to pull at the energy within the tree which contained Holli's essence. He twisted and turned the magic as he fought for control. Without a core, it was difficult. He could not absorb it. He had to shape it as it rested within the confines of its current state.

Holli suddenly felt the turmoil. It alarmed her, made her feel vulnerable. It was like being caught in a windstorm. The magic which held her within its blanket of security began to tremble at the instability. The tumult of slight breezes grew stronger, turned into heavier gusts.

She felt she should resist, as if an invader was taking what was hers and putting her existence in jeopardy. She wanted to take hold of the magic, bring it close to her and wrest it away from the hands of the intruder. She despised indecisiveness, but her focus was split.

She had heard Enin's voice. She knew it was his. The rekindled links of her previous connection to the wizard were unmistakable. It was no imposter. Somehow, Enin had found a way to reach her, but she was confused.

Her circumstances had changed, but she could not fathom how. The cocoon of magic which surrounded her and kept her safe also limited her awareness. Not only did it serve as an envelope of security, it also dulled her perception.

The echo of Enin's voice, however, was clear in her mind, and she recalled her mentor's words. He advised her not to fight him. She knew Enin would neither hurt her nor lie to her. She trusted him with her life.

She was also an elf guard, and she remembered her duty was to protect Enin no matter what the cost. If it was necessary for him to utilize the magic within her, she would allow it, even if it meant her death.

Still, she could not comprehend what was happening to her. Ignorance was as bad as indecision. She could not help Enin if she could not grasp the reality of her circumstances. She struggled for greater understanding, but she could not break through the fog which swirled through her perception.

In the end, she surrendered to the outside force. She allowed invisible hands to pull the magic away from her. She would let it go in whatever direction the external influence guided it. As Enin requested, she would not fight.

Enin felt the energy submit further to his will. It became easier for him to shape. He could feel the life in the emerald magic, and it was in that energy which he placed his hope.

He put forth a command of rebirth into Holli's magical core, a concept the tree would understand as renewal and rejuvenation, but he added his own guidance to the magic surging through his spirit. He guided the tree back to its original form, back to that of an elf guard.

For Holli, the turmoil increased. She felt as if she was about to be uprooted. She screamed. She wanted the mayhem to stop, but she refused to restrict her magic in any way. She felt like she was shrinking, as if her limbs were being pulled deep into her body. She tried to ignore the aches which she could not identify. It seemed as if she hurt in places she could not touch.

She almost altered her decision, almost pulled the magic back around her into a shield which would protect her, but before her resolve failed, she began to feel the warmth of the sun. She could sense the light, and rather than draw the magic back into her core, she reached for the warm glow to the east.

As the sun rose over the eastern hills of the badlands, Holli was restored.

"Holli came back completely," Ryson revealed, as he sat comfortably in Reader Rachael's office. "It was amazing. It was like she never transformed. She said she couldn't remember much after she turned into a tree, didn't even recall what it felt like to be rooted into the ground. She didn't seem to care. She just started demanding answers. I guess she wanted to make sure the danger had passed. That's exactly what I would have expected of her, but I think she's changed a bit."

"How so?" Reader Rachael asked, as she found the delver's recounting of the events both amazing and inspiring.

"For a brief moment, I reconnected her with Enin. I think they were both grateful about that, but this link was a bit different. I used the enchantment of my sword which reaches into the essence, so it wasn't just some magical link which connected them. It was a deeper connection. I think she's still trying to grasp what that means."

"Did she say anything about it?"

"No, she was only concerned about Neltus and Rul Saattan. When we told her what had happened, I think she was both angry and relieved."

"What do you think she was angry about?" Rachael wondered.

"I think she still blames herself for everything that happened. To some extent, I think she believes she caused more harm than good. I know she thinks she should have kept Enin out of the hands of the pit demon in the Lacobian, and I think she believes it was her fault we were caught by Neltus out in the badlands. I think that's why she was willing to sacrifice herself in the first place."

The reader considered what she knew of the elf guard. She knew Holli demanded perfection of herself. The reader also knew such a demand could never be met. But if Ryson was right about a possible change in the elf's outlook, Holli might find a new path, a discovery which would allow herself room for reflection on inescapable flaws.

The reader also wondered about Ryson's outlook.

"I know you don't blame her, but do you think anyone is at fault?" Rachael questioned.

Blame.

It was not a concept the delver wished to dwell upon, but he couldn't ignore it. Decisions had been made... and consequences followed. He couldn't escape making the connection between the two, and he couldn't avoid pondering the actions of certain individuals.

Rachael was right about his perceptions regarding the elf guard. He didn't blame Holli for anything. The pit demon surprised them all. If anyone should have detected the giant under the sand, it should have been him. But he didn't place overall blame on himself either. Ryson considered the chain of events, and he saw it beginning before they even reached the desert. The spark which ignited the flames of strife started before he met Neltus outside the church.

Thoughts of the rotund wizard offered Ryson a possible answer.

"Neltus certainly shares some of the blame," the delver finally revealed somewhat reluctantly, "as does Baannat. Reiculf gets a large portion of it as well."

"You don't sound too convincing. Is it because you don't want to place blame?"

"No, I have no problem finding fault with any of them for what happened. I'm just looking at things differently than Holli. She thinks Enin, as well as all of Burbon, should have never been placed in harm's way in the first place."

"You don't agree?"

"In that regard, I agree with her completely. I wish no one had to face any danger, but that's just not possible, especially in a world filled with monsters. I'm sure Holli realizes that too, but deep down, she's an elf guard. She wants to protect everyone."

"And you're a delver, so you wish to understand everything."

"At least as much as possible. I can't say I understand everything that happened here, but I learned quite a bit. For me, I'm starting to believe that maybe all of this wasn't as bad as it first seemed."

"You think this was all a good idea?"

"No, I can't say that. Everything which happened occurred because someone was selfish, or angry, or just plain evil. Reiculf wasn't looking to help anyone other than himself when he merged with Baannat and Ansas. And all Neltus cared about was getting his core back. Neither one of them cared about who got hurt or what got destroyed. For a while, I thought I had lost Holli, and I wondered what else could go wrong... but I can't help feeling that things might have turned out for the best."

Reader Rachael did not want to dispute the delver's claim. She heard hopefulness in Ryson's words. It was an optimism that she shared, but she wanted to ensure she understood the delver's perspective. She also had to point out the clear danger which all of Uton faced, a peril which was undeniably a result of the events surrounding Rul Saattan's formation.

"From what you told me, demons can now enter our land almost at will. That may not be the best thing that's happened to us."

"That's true, but that's not the only barrier that was broken. An entire army of angels came to our aid, and I think they would do so again."

"So you think there's a force which opposes Rul Saattan?"

"Don't you?"

"Yes, but I thought we were talking about you."

Ryson didn't want to make the entire conversation about his own beliefs, but his newfound outlook was one of the reason's he had returned to the Church of Godson.

"I do think there's a power greater than Rul Saattan," Ryson admitted, "but that's not new for me."

"What is
new
for you?"

While the delver realized he had made several discoveries which led to a greater perception of life, Ryson immediately offered the change which was the most obvious.

"I was able to hear Sy's voice in my head."

"Do you know why?" Rachael asked.

"Not for certain. And I wasn't able to talk to him for long. I only heard him say a few words, but Captain Klusac confirmed them. If I had more time, I would have asked Sy about a thousand questions, but he disappeared, so I couldn't ask him what changed."

"But you have an idea, don't you?"

"Yes," Ryson confessed. "I think it has to do with what I learned. In a way, it's all tied together. Rul Saattan's coming into existence, the lifting of the barriers, the enchantment of my sword; all those things opened a new path for me. Because of that, I was able to reach through Rul and call all those angels. I knew they were out there. There wasn't any doubt, not any more."

"And the removal of doubt was the key?"

"Actually, seeing the guards attack the pit demon was the real key, that and some of the things you told me, and what Vraya said to me."

"Tell me about the guards first."

"I saw their courage... not like I saw my soul in Demonspawn, but I couldn't deny what was right there before me. They came charging out from behind the wall with only spears and swords to face a pit demon."

"That was certainly courageous."

"Some would argue that it might have been stupidity," Ryson offered as an argument to his own theory.

"But that's not what you believed."

"No, because I knew what they were fighting for. Stupidity doesn't need a reason, but I think courage comes from something more."

"And you saw something more?"

"I did. I knew there was something inside of each of those soldiers, something which spurred them to do what was impossible, only it wasn't impossible. And it made me realize the mistake I had made."

"What mistake was that?"

"I thought the people of Burbon weren't really appreciating what the return of Sy's spirit should mean. I expected them to make the connection to their own spirits, but I was failing to make a connection of my own. It's difficult to explain."

"Please try" Rachael requested. "I think it's important... for both of us."

"When I saw my own soul, I knew it was bigger than just me. I didn't think I was unique in that regard, but I never really understood the absolute significance. Think about it; every individual currently living, every individual who has ever walked the land, each of them with a soul. Imagine the sheer magnitude of that one notion."

"It is almost overwhelming, isn't it?" Rachael agreed with a smile.

Ryson nodded and tried to put it in perspective, but he knew he couldn't.

"Overwhelming? It's indescribable. It's also extremely comforting. I know there's a spark in each of us, something that can't be snuffed out, as long as we recognize it's there."

"And how did that ultimately help you against the pit demon?"

"I knew a pit demon couldn't stand up to that kind of strength once it was revealed to it. I made sure it was. I forced it to perceive what was within those soldiers."

"And what about Rul Saattan? In Demonsheol, You said you reached through him to call the spirits. Was he surprised when they appeared?"

"Absolutely, though I think it was different for him."

"How so?"

"I think he understood the concept of the spirit from the beginning. Reiculf did, and Reiculf is a part of Rul. His mistake was he didn't think such a power could be called against him, certainly not in Demonsheol. But he was wrong. All those spirits appeared willingly, and they could have decimated his demons."

"I have to admit," Rachael revealed, "I'm a bit confused by this. You seem to be saying that the realization that everyone has a soul allowed you to defeat Rul Saattan. But you seemed to believe that well before this latest encounter. That wasn't really a revelation for you, was it?"

"No, but even though I knew there was something inside of each of us, I never put it in complete perspective. Vraya told me I was distracted. She was right, and I had to really open my own eyes. I started looking further out. It's not just about what's inside of me, or even what's inside all of us together. Even that's too limited. It's a much bigger picture. It's like seeing a cornstalk and maybe even the cornfield, but not the whole farm... or the farmer."

Rachael appreciated the metaphor.

"So you were thinking about the passage I shared with you."

"Yes, I was. I still am. But looking back, I think I was ignoring what was all around me, right in front of me. I was trying too hard to figure out what to do for myself."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing," Rachael offered. "Discovering your own faith is an important step. It becomes a concern when you lose sight of others.  You can't be consumed with your own needs."

"I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I wouldn't have made it this far without the help of my friends, and certainly my wife, but I was looking at myself as if I was isolated. I think that's why some people think I'm a contradiction."

"You are a rather interesting individual. You have brought many people together, entire races for that matter, but there is that part of you that requires you to go off on your own."

"Vraya basically said the same thing about me."

"It's the truth," Rachael confirmed, "and it's hard to dismiss."

"Maybe, but I realized there was a lot more I needed to acknowledge."

"Very good."

"You know what I'm saying?" Ryson questioned with a clear expression of hopefulness.

"I believe so. You continue to grow."

Ryson was hoping for something more. Despite everything he had been through, he still found it difficult to place his insight into words. He knew more than when he started, but he wasn't sure how to completely define his experiences.

"I don't know what that means," the delver admitted.

Rachael decided to map it out from the beginning.

"When Sy first came back to protect Burbon, you saw him as a spirit protector, just as others in your town did, but you didn't stop there. Maybe it was because you're a delver or maybe because you were looking for something more in your own life, but you wanted to connect Sy's spirit to your own existence. In doing so, you saw your own soul when you fought Reiculf in Demonspawn. Even after that, you weren't satisfied, you kept moving forward. You wanted to build on what you had seen."

"That's really not surprising, is it?"

"It could be. Others see things and ignore them. They probably don't see their own souls of course, but there are other moments of enlightenment that go unnoticed or disregarded as unimportant. You didn't ignore what was revealed to you."

"How could anyone ignore seeing his or her own soul?"

"You've already told me that there are people visiting Burbon just to see the spirit of Sy Fenden. Don't you think that many of them fail to make any connection to their own souls... that they're just hoping to see a ghost?"

"That's probably true," Ryson conceded.

"And imagine if everyone got a chance to see what was inside of them... just for one brief instant. Do you really believe that they would all come away with the same appreciation? No, some would definitely ignore it, or insist it never happened, pretend it was an illusion. Others would forget it over time, lose the knowledge in cares born of this land. They would refuse to let it open their eyes... their hearts... lift their spirits."

"But not everyone," Ryson insisted.