Joe (23 page)

“I was traumatized tonight and I do not know how to deal with . . .” A series of fast beeps caught Roy’s attention. “What was that?”

“Fuckin’ Killer Babies are doing something different. And now they’re jumping perimeters.”

“You must destroy them Frank. All of them if I cannot come up with a way to transform their DNA.”

“Can we not talk about destroying them until it’s no longer an option? They’re like my kids.”

“The Killer Babies are like you’re children?”

“Yes.”

“I can see that in a twisted way. You all run the same speed.”

“Exactly. So what’s up?” Frank asked.

“A baby was born tonight.”

“Cool.”

“And I expressed to Dean that I wanted to see. But, I was not thinking about technology. Most women do not give birth in the future. They do not go that route. I assumed it was artificial here. Then I walked into the birth room.”

“And you saw the baby coming out?”

“Oh, no, I never made it that far. The woman was barbarically strapped to a table with her legs spread open. Her private parts exposed.”

“You’ll have that.”

“Why?”

“How else is the baby going to get out?”

Roy blinked. “Certainly not that way.”

Frank laughed. “Yes, that way.”

“From where?”

“Roy, come on. You’re fucking brilliant. You don’t know where babies emerge from?”

“Uh, yes, Frank. Everyone does. From the Artificial Gestation Habitat hatch.”

“What about when the mother carries them.”

“They have to cut them out of their bodies. Women do not come equipped with an exit hatch.”

“Um, yeah, they come equipped with an exit and entrance hatch.” Frank held up a hand. “Hold on, let me show you.” He pulled forth a tablet and began to draw. “This is a woman.”

“That is very good Frank, that looks like what I saw. Only it was very furry.”

Frank winced. “Some woman went so natural again when the world ended.” He shuddered. “Anyhow. This here is . . . this is where the sperm goes in. The sperm goes up a little tunnel into a hub called the uterus. The hub has extra tunnels. Two and the sperm travels there, meeting the egg.”

“Got it.”

“The egg settles in the hub and when the baby is down the mother pushes it out the sperm entrance.”

“It sounds so messy and painful. No wonder women in the future stopped having babies that way. How do you program it?”

“Program what?”

‘The baby.”

“You can’t.”

“Yes. We do. We feed data to the child so it is instinctively knowledgeable of a trade. The Hoi Transfer it is called.”

“We don’t do that yet. We let the kids learn everything from scratch, that way they can determine what they want to be instead of us programming them.”

“Seems like a waste.”

Frank laughed.

“This is so interesting. I wish it would have been something I learned.”

“Didn’t you figure things out the first time you had sex. I know it took me till the fourth time.”

“I have never had sex. I have had erections. But not sex.”

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“I have an idea.” Frank picked up the phone and dialed. “Are you up for an anatomy lesson?”

“Yes, please.”

Frank nodded. “Jenny. Hey. Frank. Yeah. Listen I have Roy here. He’s like the bubble boy from the future. Book smart, not street smart. Seems Roy isn’t familiar with the female anatomy at all. They left that part out for him.” Frank paused. “Not that either. Anyone you can find someone to give him a lesson? Thanks.” He hung up.

“What did she say?”

“She said as long as El isn’t bothered, she’ll find someone for tomorrow or show you herself.” Frank produced an ornery smile.

“Thank you. I’ll leave you now. You’ve been helpful.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Frank called out.

Hal walked inside. “Hey Frank.”

“Hey, Hal, this is a surprise.”

“Are you busy? I can leave.”

“No, Roy was just leaving.”

“Leaving happy, too,” Roy said. “I was confused on female anatomy and Jenny has graciously offered to show me hers. Thank you Frank for asking.”

Frank gave a thumbs up.

Hal still had a look of disgust on his face when the door closed. “You’re not right.”

“What? It’ll be funny. I won’t be there. But I’ll ask for a report.”

“That’s just wrong.”

“What’s up?”

“I came to see if you wanted to go home. I would watch this for you.”

Frank shook his head. ‘Robbie already offered. He’ll be here soon.”

“Good. Cause you need to spend time at home.”

“I know.” Frank stared at Hal. “What’s up? You look like you have something on your mind.”

“I kind of do. Hating to do so . . . I need your advice.”

“Oh.” Frank sat up. “Fuckin sweet. Go on.”

“Hmm.” Hal took a second. “Say you have something that you love to do.”

Frank nodded.

“Say, you can’t do this anymore.”

Frank nodded.

“So, you put this one thing out of your mind, because you can’t have it.”

Frank nodded, listening.

“For years and years it stays subdued, the urge to have this.”

Frank nodded.

“Then suddenly, the littlest thing sets it off and you want to have it again. But you can’t. How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Subdue it again.”

“Subdue what?”

“The thing you want to do.”

“I’m lost.

“It figures.” Hal paused. “Ok, remember when you were an alcoholic.”

“I still am. You never stop being an alcoholic.”

“Ok, remember . . .”

“In fact, I’m probably still an active alcoholic cause I drink again.”

“Forget it.” Hal started to stand and Robbie came in.

“Hey, Hal.”

“Robert.”

“Hey,” Frank said. “Robbie, sit down. Hal has a problem.”

“Cool.” Robbie sat down. “What is it.”

“Never mind.” Hal said.

Frank explained. “He’s an alcoholic.”

“No I am not.”

“We all are,” Robbie said.

Hal grunted. “I was just saying, when you give something up and don’t have the urge for it for years, how do subdue it again.”

“That’s the word,” Frank said. “He threw me off with that word.”

“Simple,” Robbie nodded. “You don’t.”

Frank looked confused.

“Excuse me?” Hal asked.

“Don’t subdue it,” Robbie said. “Find another way around.”

Hal drummed up a thinking look.

“If you want to drink, and don’t want the alcohol, but the feeling.” Robbie shrugged. “Smoke weed. You want sex . . . jerk off. Want to gamble . . . go to the Killer Baby region.”

At that instant the odd beeps and blips occurred.

“Speaking of Killer Babies.” Frank said. “Or toddlers, or fetuses.”

The brothers turned to the screen.

Hal asked. “What’s going on up there?”

“I don’t know.” Frank said. “But suddenly, it’s getting weird there.”

Hal took a long blink. “It’s a Killer Baby region Frank, you don’t think that alone is weird.”

Frank shrugged “I guess. But this is odd. Even for them.”

“Wanna go check it out?” Robbie asked.

Frank thought about it. “Nah, I’m gonna head home. But . . .” He stood. “Watch it tonight, if it continues. In the morning. I’ll go up. I have a strange feeling about this. A gut instinct. Something’s happening.” Frank gave Robbie a pat on his back and walked to the door. “I know that region. They’re my kin.” He walked out.

The door closed.

Hal turned to Robbie. “Did he just say the Killer Babies were his kin?”

“I believe he did, Hal.”

“Hmm.” Hal said, then after a shrug, he and Robbie both faced the tracking screen.

Dean had cleared out of the hideaway house leaving the furnishings behind. His enthusiasm Joe guessed to get back to Beginnings. But after delivering a set of twins with complications, Joe wondered how happy Dean was to get back.

He and Jason entered the house. Chilled from no heat. Jason was the keeper of the HG Wells and that was only fitting. He and Joe contemplated using the house as a time machine base, but opted against it.

The sole purpose of using the HG Wells on this day was to double check that the séance prank didn’t backfire or cause any ripples.

It was going to be simple.

“Ok,” Jason reviewed with Joe in the lab. “Here’s what we got. The time machine will do an auto shut down, leaving the traveler stranded if a trip is made three times to the same time frame in a one month time.”

“But what constitutes a time frame?” Joe asked.

“Ah,” Jason lifted a finger. “A four day period in the same year and month.”

“So if Robbie traveled twice to January 20
th
, then we’d have to wait 32 days to go again to that date.”

“Exactly. We can’t touch four days before or after to be on the safe side.”

“When are we going then?”

“January 25
th
to be on the safe side. When your sons went . . .”

“Does that count?”

“I don’t know. See, we used my machine. But I don’t want to take a chance.”

“Me either.”

Jason continued. “When they went, it was bleak, white, cold. Snowy.”

“Obviously brought on by a nuclear cloud.”

“My estimates, we did a surface nuke to protect Beginnings. But when Robbie went, it was cold, yes, but sunny and the lab was still intact.”

“So we want to see sun.”

“Sun will tell us that there was no destruction. We also want to see my lab.”

“Ok,” Joe excitedly rubbed his hands together. “Let’s do this.”

“We’re going to go to January 25
th
. Same coordinates I sent Robbie. Ready.”

“Ready.”

Jason prepped the machine while Joe stood excitedly by.

The HG Wells went through its typical mode and with a ZAP. Then went from inside the lab to outdoors.

The sun was shining bright.

Joe grinned. “Looks good. There’s your lab.”

Jason peered over his shoulder.

“Still standing,” Joe said, then noticed Jason kept looking about. “What’s wrong?”

“Something.”

“Excuse me.”

“Something is wrong. I would have left a note for us.”

“Maybe you forgot.”

“No, no. I would have...” Jason’s head cocked. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear …” Joe’s words slowed. A rustling, fast and furious carried their way. Slowly he turned his head to the left. In the distance, like a wave, there was movement in the high grass.

“That looks like . . .”

“Shit!” Joe’s eyes widened. “Zap us back. Zap us back now.”

Jason reached for the button and Joe reached for his revolver. Just as he pulled it from his holster, out from the pack shot something. It was a blur and moved like a bullet. Closer. Closer.

Zap.

They were back in the lab.

Thump!

It sailed by them and into the far wall of the cryo lab. With speed, Joe pivoted, gun out. It moved and stood.

“That won’t work,” Jason said rushed, reached for his desk and handed Joe a hand held device that looked like a tazer. “Get it. It’s on high.”

Joe held it out as it flailed itself top speed at him, just as the jaws snapped an inch from his face, Joe zapped it. It squealed, flew back and landed hard to the ground. It’s body jolted, releasing blue sparks.

“Hit it again, and we’ll bag it.”

“Good thing you have this.” Joe said, catching his breath.

“It’s for when Frank comes up. Just in case.”

Joe looked at Jason and snickered.

“Get it before it wakes up.”

After a nod, Joe bent down, zapping it one more time and bringing it to a calm still.

“Is it dead?” Joe asked.

Jason reached down. “No. Out. My guess an hour. I have some thorozine.”

“Better to double up.” He handed Jason the Tazer, and finally replaced his revolver. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Apparently so. Frank’s Killer Toddlers.”

“Toddler my ass, Looks like an adolescent.”

Jason brought a syringe over. “I have these big needles for Frank as well.”

“Jesus Christ Jason, if all those things were in Beginnings.” Joe ran his hand down his face. “Oh my god. Frank’s Killer Babies got in.”

“No. No, Frank’s Killer Babies are content where they are.”

“So how? How did the séance let them in?”

“The séance didn’t.” Jason injected the LEP that was the size of a ten year old. “We were fortunate with Elvis. Beam one. I think one of the Beams bought in the next generation of LEP.”

“Smarter?” Joe asked.

“I don’t think smarter,” Jason said. “Just not Frank trained.” Jason stood up straight. “Ok, so we have a problem in the future we have to fix.”

“A big one. Let’s get this thing restrained.” Joe exhaled. “And you call Frank.”

****

There were a couple reasons Frank found himself up at the Killer Baby region. First of which was business, second was to clear his mind.

He played the Journey music loudly, and a soft hum from the babies carried in the wind.

That gave Frank a sense of comfort.

Before embarking past the gate, he enjoyed his coffee, and thought about his brother Jimmy.

Jimmy had just returned to Beginnings and now was en route back to the Society to work on the Great War prevention.

Thankfully, Jimmy had the skills they needed.

The second chorus of Faithfully, had just finished and Frank looked forward to the ‘Ooh, oooh, oooh’s’ of the song’s bridge, after all, that was the portion where the Killer Babies seemingly found their harmonies.

There, almost there. Frank finished his coffee, leaning against the hood of the jeep.

He smiled when he heard the voices, set down his cup and took a step.

Pausing, Frank drummed up an odd look.

Was it his imagination? Did he hear something weird? Was one of the Killer Babies sick?

He shook his head and reached for the gate.

His phone rang.

He peered down, grabbed it and answered it. “Yeah.”

“Frank this is Jason. Where are you?”

“At the Killer Baby region. Why?”

“You’re not in the Killer Baby region, are you?”

“Not in. Almost in.”

“Good. Don’t go in there. I have a problem at my lab that only you can handle.”

“Do you need me there now?” Frank asked.

“Yes, right now, before it wakes up.”

“Ok. On my way.” Frank hung up the phone and forewent his baby region trip. He had to get to Jason’s lab before ‘it’ woke up. Of course, Frank had no idea what ‘it’ entailed.

****

Hal wasn’t all that surprised that he slept in as late as he did. He was at tracking with Robbie until the sun rose and then he headed back to Bowman. What he was surprised was to see a thick envelope on his desk, with Owens telling him that President Slagel sent it to Hal.

Why in the world Hal would even think it was official was beyond him. After all, it was Frank they were talking about it.

He settled into his desk and slid the contents out. There had to be at least seventy pages.

‘Frank’s Day out?’

Hal sat back, how in the word did Frank manage to turn a ten page children’s book into a seventy page movie adaptation?

He lifted the note of thanks from Frank. Telling Hal his appreciation for reading the script. But baffling him more was the fact that the note ended with the question, “They are thinking of Having Ben from Fabrics play Frank. What do you think?”

Ben from Fabrics playing Frank in a movie?

To Hal that was completely absurd.

A knock at the door and Hal lifted his head.

Elliott stepped in.

“Elliot,” Hal set down the script. “They’re making a movie called Frank’s Day Out and thinking of making Ben from Fabrics the lead.”

“You’re joking.”

“No.”

“Danny talked to me about that.”

“This is absurd.” Hal pushed the script aside. “Although I can’t wait to read it. What’s up?”

“Before I went over, I wanted to see if you would join me.”

“In?”

“The moment of truth,” Elliott smiled. “The stranger is awake.”

****

At that point it was awake, and when it snapped its jaws with a growl, Frank responded with a typical ‘Fuck’.

Not really fazed, Frank stood in Jason’s lab, hands on hips head tilted. “Good job chaining him.”

“Well, I had those up here in case of you getting out of control.”

“What is it?” Frank asked.

“What do you think, Frank? It’s an adolescent version of the Killer Babies.”

Frank gave a clueless look.

“A twelve year old version,” Jason corrected.

“Man, they grew fast. Just yesterday they were toddlers.”

“I don’t think this is one of yours. Look at the way he’s reacting to you.”

“Nah, he’s fine.”

“No, Frank, he’d bite your head off.”

“Nah, he’s fuckin fine. They love me.”

Jason chuckled with a usual smirk, crossing his arms, and rubbing his chin. “If you don’t believe me, try. Go to him.”

Frank shrugged. Walked to the killer adolescent who was about four feet tall. As he neared him, the beastly child snapped and went nuts, trying with all his might to attack Frank.

“See?” Jason asked.

Frank stared, then Frank blasted at the killer boy. ‘Hey! Fuckin knock it off!”

With what seemed like a ‘huh?’, the child cocked back with a whimper.

“Good. Here.” Frank reached into his back pocket and pulled out the music player with headphones.

“Frank,” Jason said. “Watch your . . .”

Flick. “Hey!” Frank flicked the killer child. Again, it whimpered and he placed the headphones on him. “No biting.”

Immediately, the adolescent tilted his head.

“Good huh?” Frank asked.

Head swaying, eyes wide, the thing began to mock some sort of singing.

“Fuckin love that shit.” Frank turned around.

“Journey?” Jason asked.

“Best of.” Frank replied. “Ok, so, how did he get here?”

“Chased me. Knocked himself out when he slammed into the wall, then I hit him with the tazer, thorozine and knocked him out.”

“Chased you from where?” Frank questioned.

“The future.”

“That’s a long fuckin way.”

“No, no, Frank.” Jason waved his hand. “He came from the future. I went to the future and he was there.”

“Makes sense. He grew.”

“Eight months in the future.”

“He grew fast.”

“Frank!”

“What? And where is Bob?”

“Bob?”

“The dummy that my dad possesses.”

“Why are you asking where the dummy is?” Jason asked.

“Because I sense my dad.”

“That’s because his ghost hangs out here,” Jason said nonchalantly.

“Oh.”

“Frank do you get what I’m saying?”

“Yeah. My Dad’s ghost hangs out here.”

“No,” Jason said. “I went to the future to make sure there were no repercussions of the séance last night. To make sure there was no change in the Great War and the nuclear explosion in Beginnings.”

“Was there.”

“No. Clear day. Sunny. No Nuke.”

“Ok, so how did the séance . . . fuck?”

“What?”

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“We not only brought my dad’s ghost through we brought through Killer Pubes.”

“Killer . . . Killer Pubes?”

“Pre-pubescent.”

Jason closed his eyes.

Frank’s head cocked. “There it is again.”

“What?”

“My dad’s spirit.”

“Ignore it.”

“Ok.”

“Frank. The séance didn’t bring the Killer … Pubes. The beam did.”

“What beam?”

‘The one that went wayward. Three beams shot out of the time machine when Dean and Roy fought. Two went to the future. One to the past. The one beam brought back the Pubes.”

“We snatched the Pubes from the future and put them in the future.”