Authors: Campbell Armstrong
âThen why don't you just pull the goddam trigger? There's nothing to it.' He stared into the eye of the gun, half-expecting the blast.
This is the last sound you'll ever hear, Frank
. âMake sure of one thing. Go for the heart. Don't waste your time with some pissant shot that goes into my stomach or hits me in the shoulder, because I want it to be quick. I don't want to lie here bleeding from tissue and nerve damage. So do it properly. Right here.' He raised a hand, indicated the centre of his chest. âHere. What they call â¦' and he paused, weighing the next word, âthe heart. You know where the heart's located, don't you?'
He saw it in her, the slightest flicker of hesitation. It wasn't much, just enough to let him see that she'd never done this kind of thing before. She was new to violence. She drew the gun back from his ribs a matter of a few inches.
âGood thinking,' he remarked. âOtherwise you'd get my blood all over yourself. And we don't want that, do we? We don't want a mess. Executioners don't stain themselves with their victims' blood.'
She looked into his eyes. âYou're through talking.'
He gazed at the gun: time was seeping away. He imagined he heard shutters being slammed across windows. He imagined total darkness. Move, he thought. Move yourself. She was still pulling back from him, but the gun never wavered, she held it steady, directed toward his chest. She was a foot away at best. Force yourself to move, Pagan, or this is the place where the train finally stops. The gun stayed firm in her hand. In her mind, he thought, I am already dead, she's already walking the corridors to the exit, gun securely tucked inside bag â¦
âMr Pagan?'
He hadn't heard the door open.
The Vietnamese nun stepped quietly inside the room. She held a tray with a glass of water. âTime for your medication,' she said, then noticed the girl, the gun, and she was suddenly very still.
The girl turned her face to the intruder and Pagan, in a flurry of sheets, forced himself up, lunged forward, seized her hand and twisted the gun to one side and a silenced shot went off with the sound of air rushing from a puncture. The shot struck the nun in the forehead. The tray clattered, the water-glass broke, the small woman â Pagan's angel of mercy â dropped to the floor, surrounded by the collapsed folds of the white habit she wore. Enraged, Pagan forced the girl's hand down, twisted it, making the gun slip from her fingers. She fought back with fierce determination, clawing at his face and neck. She tried to bring a knee up into his groin but he sidestepped her, slapped her across the lips, knocked her down on the bed, slapped her again. She rose quickly, rushed him, punching wildly, blows he parried for the most part against his arms. He backswiped her and she dropped on the bed and he picked up the fallen gun. He walked to where the nun lay. He looked at her wide eyes, the pleasant mouth slightly parted; blood ran over her forehead and along her eyebrows.
âAnother casualty for your side,' he said. âAnother accident â isn't that what you'd call it?'
âI didn't make it happen.' Breathless, she was sitting on the edge of the bed. âYou forced the shot.'
He walked back to the bed and shoved the gun directly under the girl's chin. He resisted the deranged impulse to shoot her where she sat. But that was what he wanted to do â eliminate her, snuff her out, just blow her away. He thought how frail she looked all at once, her features collapsed in dejection and uncertainty. Another man might possibly have found in himself reservoirs of forgiveness, might have made allowances for her background, her indoctrination, the way she'd been misled and manipulated, might have taken into account the way she'd lived under the mythic shadow of her famous brother: another man might. A saint maybe. But Pagan didn't have that expansive generosity of spirit when it came to Katherine Cairney; it had been killed inside him. It had been injured years ago in a foul-smelling morgue; and in the last thirty minutes it had been fatally wounded. His anger was like a vast field with no horizon. He pushed the gun into her soft flesh until her neck was distended. âTalk to me,' he said, and his voice was tight.
She closed her eyes. She said nothing.
â
Talk.
'
âI don't have anything to say.'
He forced her down on the bed, his knees pressed into her body, the full weight of him upon her, and he thrust the gun deeper into her skin. And he remembered the last time they'd been in a bed together and he thought how his tenderness and affection had been corrupted. Was that what angered him more than anything else? The dead woman on the floor, who'd walked into all this innocently, seemed like a tragic coda to his emotions.
âWho briefed you? Who gave you your instructions?'
âWhy the hell should I tell you?'
There was, Pagan thought, a limit to all things. And he'd reached his. He was prepared for the descent into brutality. He was ready to do real violence. It was strange how the heart could turn like this. It was weird and disturbing, the dark reactions you found in yourself. He raised the gun and held it in the air the way you might hold a knife before you plunged it downward. He thought of the butt smacking against bone, hard metal slicing open this lovely deceitful face. He knew what he must look like through her eyes â demented, beyond the reaches of reason, infinitely dangerous. And he knew she'd never encountered anyone in his condition before.
She stared up into the gun, as if she were already seeing its descent and feeling it come down on her face with shattering impact. Now she was afraid â he could see it in her eyes, smell it on her; all the bravado was falling away. On one level she seemed to understand that he wasn't going to kill her just yet. But she also understood there was going to be pain instead, and pain wasn't what she wanted to encounter.
âAnswer me,' he said. He moved his arm higher, more threateningly. He was outside of himself, a spectator, fascinated by what he saw and at the same time repelled by his own behaviour. The beast set free, the cage broken. Pagan unhinged.
âThe name wouldn't mean anything to you.'
âTry me.'
âGoddam you, let me up, I can't breathe.'
âToo bad.'
Blood was rushing to her face. She was struggling. She spoke in a gasp. âTobias Barron.'
âBarron,' he said.
The name was one he'd seen in gossip columns, columns he never read because they were no more than fluff, idiocy, documenting the comings and goings of that class of people for some reason deemed celebrities. But somehow these columns infiltrated your head even if you never actually read them; pictures came at you as you skipped newspaper and magazine pages, and the brain, that insomniac limpet in the skull, stored all manner of needless trivia, including the names of flimsy celebrities.
âThe well-known philanthropist. The walking charity. Mister Goodheart. Friend to the famous. And he gave you your instructions. He told you what to do.'
She tried to push him away, then gave up. He enjoyed listening to her fight for air even if he didn't like himself for it.
âWhat did he tell you exactly?'
âYou were an enemy of the Cause ⦠you needed to be kept under surveillance ⦠Please. Let me get up.'
But he wasn't ready yet to release her, he wanted her under him, to keep up the pain of pressure.
âI can't ⦠breathe,' she said.
âYou already told me that.'
He looked down into her eyes, remembering something else about Barron now, something that floated up to him from a submerged place in the mind: the photograph taken of Carlotta in Rio, the teasingly familiar face of the man walking alongside her.
Barron
.
Barron and Carlotta â¦
⦠his mind was back into the tunnel, he saw the wreckage, the body-bags aligned on the platform, he imagined Carlotta threading her way slyly through rush-hour crowds on her murderous mission. That was no IRA brutality, no sectarian savagery carried out in the name of the struggle against British occupation; the Cause wouldn't have employed Carlotta, they'd have used their own killers, people close to the heart of command, because strangers couldn't enter the inner sanctum. Carlotta's instructions hadn't come out of Dublin or Belfast. They'd been issued elsewhere.
âYou've never heard of Bryce Harcourt or Jake Streik, have you? You've never heard of an outfit called The Undertakers.'
âI don't know what you're talking about â¦'
He released the pressure on her. He stepped back from the bed, reached quickly for his clothes. She watched him with a look of frightened uncertainty. She'd seen something savage in him and she had no way of knowing if the animal had been incarcerated or if it was still loose. He tossed aside the hospital gown, pulled on his shirt, strapped his holster in place and put the girl's weapon in the pocket of his coat, everything done quickly.
âYou've been used, love,' he said. âUsed and abused. Welcome to the club.'
She was coughing into her hand, a series of quick spasms. When she stopped, she raised her sleeve to her lips. âI'm not following youâ'
âUsed, abused and sold down the river,' he said. âHere's the way it is. Barron sends you out on what he
says
is IRA business because he knows you'll go along with it. He plays on your sympathies for all they're worth. Maybe he's associated in some way with your so-called Cause. Fine. But it's more than that. It goes way beyond the IRA. It goes into areas you couldn't even start to guess. You've been taken. Swindled. Call it what you like. What it comes down to is this: you're a stupid little bitch who's way out of her depth.'
She coughed again and shook her head rapidly. âYou don't know anythingâ'
âThis is what I know. Listen and digest. The Undertakers work secretively out of the US Embassy. They handle vast amounts of money, apparently with the knowledge of the Ambassador. Where this cash goes, I don't know yet. Maybe a fraction finds its way into the treasury of the IRA, I'm not sure. But the rest â¦' He shrugged. âThe money was handled mainly by two men. One called Streik, the other Harcourt. Streik's dead. Harcourt was killed in the Underground bombing, courtesy of a certain Carlotta. Presumably you've heard of her.'
âI know her reputation, sure. What the hell are you getting at?'
âI don't suppose Barron ever informed you of a plan to kill a hundred people on a subway carriage, did he?'
âWe had nothing to do with that,' she said. âYou can't possibly believe that.'
We, he thought.
We
. She belonged. She was up to her neck. Only she didn't know the true nature of what she belonged to.
âCarlotta planted that bomb. And right now I'm starting to think she was working under instructions from your master â Tobias Barron.'
She shook her head. âNo way. Absolutely no goddam way. You're really going downhill fast, Pagan.'
âWhy? If he's capable of giving you the order to kill me, why wouldn't he be just as capable of giving Carlotta a mandate to blow up an Underground carriage? You think he'd be deterred by the numbers of casualties involved? Is that what you think? One murder is fine. One murder is acceptable. A hundred â unthinkable. Oh dear, such delicate sensibilities. Christ's sake. Open your eyes.'
âYou don't know Barron. He wouldn't sanction death on that scale. You're out of your mind.'
âMaybe I'm mad as a fucking hatter,' Pagan said. âI must say I find your belief in him touching. In the circumstances, I'm naturally a little more sceptical.' He paused, assessing the look on her face, the same fretful apprehension. âDid he ever tell you why the simple order to keep me under surveillance was upgraded to an execution command?'
âHe said you knew too much.'
âToo much about what?'
âI didn't ask. I assumed he had good reasons.'
âI'll tell you what his good reasons are. I'm getting too close to him, I'm beginning to trespass in forbidden areas. I'm gatecrashing his private party, and he's uncomfortable. I know about Carlotta, for one thing. Which isn't conducive to his peace of mind â or he wouldn't have sent you here. He knew the
first
attempt to kill me in Lyon had been botched. So he sends you out in the hope you have what it takes to finish the job.'
Pagan stared at her. The desire to hurt her had gone out of him; the outburst of rage was diminishing. Anger of such intensity was hard to sustain. It damaged your system, devoured all your energies. He was calmer now, but troubled by the uncharacteristic way he'd yielded to the notion of brutality, the way he'd snapped.
âDo you know where Barron is?' he asked, and his voice was quiet, but it took an effort.
She shook her head.
âI'm expected to believe that?' he asked.
âBelieve what you like,' she answered.
He moved toward her, looked down at her. âI don't want to hurt you,' he said. âBut I will. You know I will.'
She said nothing. He wondered if he could find the energy to strike her again and what it would cost him. He decided to try another tactic. âYou think I'm lying about Barron. Maybe I am. But you're not sure. You don't know. You think I'm wrong when I tell you how he manipulated you. Maybe so. But if I was you, I'd want to find out. I'd want to know if I'd been manipulated. I'd want the truth. Of course, you wouldn't be interested in the truth, would you? It wouldn't fit into your scheme of things. It might interfere with your nice little black-and-white picture of the world.'
âOf course I'm interested in the truthâ'
âWell then?'
âIs this the civilized approach, Pagan?'
âWould you prefer the other way?' he asked. âI'm capable of it. You know that.'
She raised her face. âI know that now,' she said.