Jessica's Breakdown [Journey of a Thousand Miles 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (3 page)

Jessica looked around at the other guests. It was a small affair, with Reece Preston leading the ceremony. She made eye contact with Bella and saw the tears streaming down her face. Bella had the biggest heart, she believed in love and dreams. She wasn’t jaded and Jessica liked that most about her because she had lost that innocence a long time ago.

She looked back in time to see Alyssa kiss each of her men. Everyone stood up and clapped, and Jessica stood up, willing herself not to cry. She followed the newlyweds down the makeshift aisle, and Chase held open the door of Grant’s truck, helping Alyssa climb in. Alyssa hated parties, and lately she could barely keep her eyes open, so Jessica knew that they were probably heading home.

Alyssa handed her bouquet of wildflowers off to Chase and climbed in the truck, whispering something into his ear. He gave her a wink and Alyssa waved and smiled to everyone as the truck slowly pulled away. Jessica caught the small yawn she tried to hide. It was nice that her men were taking care of her so well. They seemed happy to take her home.

Chase and Beau walked toward her, and Jessica took a deep breath. She had a hard time keeping her distance from them. They were both so sexy, which meant they were lethal. Normally, she would’ve played with them, fucked them, and discarded them, but living in Small Town, USA, meant she couldn’t play by those rules any longer. She didn’t regret their one time together, but that was months ago and she tried to pretend she only wanted that one time.

“Hey, beautiful, Alyssa wanted me to give these to you.” Chase leaned into her, getting close to her neck but not touching her, and inhaled. He always did that. He moved into her little protective bubble and shook her up.

“That’s nice. Thanks.” Jessica took the flowers, unsure of what to do next. She really didn’t want to stay for the party that was planned. Instead, she wanted to get home and finish packing. Her vacation was supposed to be starting in a few days.

“I hope you’re hungry. There is a ton of food.” Beau came up next to her and held out his arm, an offering for her to take it, but she couldn’t. Both of these men were relentless, they never seemed to want to give up. They couldn’t take a hint. She didn’t want a relationship, but she did consider them friends. It was hard to keep them both at a distance. She had a lot of conflicting emotions. “I’m sorry. I need to go. I have a trip to pack for.” Jessica turned to leave. She wouldn’t have far to walk, and she actually enjoyed the warm sun and the cool breeze.

“Where are you going?” Chase asked her.

“Um…Dallas, I miss the big city.” That was a partial truth, but she didn’t need to answer to them.

“Oh. Are you planning on driving?” Beau asked, but she didn’t want to give them too much information.

“Yeah.” Her plan was to make the short drive to Amarillo and then fly into Dallas. She didn’t want to spend her vacation on the road.

“Drive safe. If you need anything, please call us.” Chase looked sad and she tried not to feel guilty. She nodded and leaned in, giving him a quick hug before doing the same to Beau.

She stepped back out from Beau’s hold and walked back toward the guesthouse. Alyssa wouldn’t be there anymore, she had the place to herself.

Jessica walked down the dirt road and was surprised by what she was starting to feel for Beau and Chase. The need inside her frightened her, becoming stronger than it had the night they were together. She was shaking, her body wanted them but her mind rejected the idea. She felt torn, she wanted to go back and kiss them and beg them to take her but she couldn’t. Maybe this vacation would help her, maybe she would be able to come back to Coltmann County and no longer want them.

* * * *

“I can’t believe she’s going to Dallas alone.” Beau pulled him from his thoughts and he turned, seeing the same concern mirrored on his face. They had only been together once and it had been the most amazing experience of his life. He wanted to have it again. Except this time, they wouldn’t let her walk away. Somehow over the last six months they had entered the
friend zone
and he wasn’t sure how to break free.

“She doesn’t need to be alone. We should find out her plan and make the trip to Dallas. It’s been a long time since we’ve gone on a vacation. We could stay with Tanner and Bradley.” They had lived in Dallas many years ago and were lucky enough to meet and work with both Tanner and Bradley. They were a bit older and took pity on them, showing them the ins and outs of being a mechanic. With their contacts, they might be able to find Jessica.

“How are we going to follow her without being obvious?” Beau asked.

“I’m sure she told Bella or Alyssa where she’s staying and what she’s doing. We can talk to them and find out.” Chase told him. They wouldn’t give up, and he hoped that Jessica would realize that soon. She needed them as much as they needed her.

“Come on, let’s go eat. We can talk to Bella right now,” Beau said, and they walked back toward the house, ready to find out what Jessica was doing. Why was she going to Dallas? Did she need a vacation, time away from them? She wouldn’t get it. She wouldn’t get that time to get over them.

Chase walked up the stairs and into the house, tables and chairs were laid out through the large family room, and he made his way to the food line. His stomach growled and he was glad to finally be eating something. The ceremony had been perfect, and he dreamed of having that, of being able to share it with Beau and Jessica. He loaded his plate with fried chicken, beans, potato salad, and chips.

He turned and rose up on his toes, trying to locate Bella. Once he spotted her, he walked to the table where she was sitting, surrounded by her men, Clint, Clay, and Cody. He cleared his throat as he sat down, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation. “Beautiful wedding today,” he said, and Bella smiled, although she looked ready to cry. Poor thing, she cried through the whole wedding and he was beginning to wonder if maybe she might be pregnant.

He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering and picturing Jessica, sitting in between him and Beau, pregnant with their child and smiling. Did she want to be a mom? Did she ever dream about getting married? She acted as though she could do without love, but he saw her watching them and knew that she was lonely. They had tried to get her attention, give her affection, but she still managed to push them away.

“Chase…are you okay?” Bella stared at him, her forehead crinkled, and he realized that he had zoned out for a minute thinking about Jessica.

He tried to smile but it was forced. “Yeah. Um, Bella, I was just wondering if you might be willing to tell me where Jessica is going?” He talked quietly hoping that the people around them wouldn’t hear their conversation.

“Um…” She bit her lip and looked around. He wondered if she would tell him, and Chase held his breath, waiting patiently.

“Jessica’s leaving town?” Clint broke in, and Chase nodded, staring at Bella, trying to read her facial expressions. She was looking everywhere but at him, and he instantly knew that she had all the information he needed.

“Yeah,” she whispered and he waited.

“Where? Tell Chase, baby. Put him out of his misery,” Cody added with a smile, and Chase was grateful that his friends were helping him convince Bella. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Beau pull out a chair and sit down.

“I promised I wouldn’t say anything.” She groaned and still he stared at her, hoping that she might break under the pressure. He saw a mixture of emotions float across her face and he knew the moment she caved. “Fine.” He sighed loudly, completely relieved. “She’s going to Dallas. There’s a club there that she’s a member of and she teaches seminars and stuff.” Chase racked his brain, thinking of every club he knew of, but nothing came to mind. Where could she teach a seminar?

“What club?” Beau asked, and Chase arched his brow. He wanted to know the answer to that as well. She mumbled something, but he couldn’t understand her, so he leaned closer.

“Iron Gate,” she whispered, and Chase sat back in his chair, shocked. His heart pounded loudly and he wondered if everyone could hear it. He had been to Iron Gate a few times when they lived in Dallas. It was a serious BDSM club. People didn’t go there to just play. They went there because they were heavily into the lifestyle. He knew a little bit about Jessica, knew that she acted tough and in charge, but he didn’t think she was the Dom she pretended to be. Instead, he considered her a scared sub. Yeah, she acted tough enough, but deep down he knew what she craved. They had only just barely scratched the surface six months ago in the back room of her store.

“Clint, do you think you could watch the shop while we’re gone?” he asked. His voice sounded strained to his own ears. She was a member, and that meant she had been there multiple times. The owner didn’t let just anybody in the door. Background checks were required along with three letters of recommendation. He knew the process since he had been there years ago. He was looking forward to going back though, especially since he was going to be able to watch Jessica and keep her safe.

“Not a problem,” Clint said, and he nodded. The people in Coltmann County always helped each other out. He and Beau had done their fair share.

Bella reached over the table and grabbed his hand. “You can’t go there. This is her vacation. God, she’ll never trust me again. Please.” She pleaded with him, and for a minute, Chase felt guilty, but then he realized that he couldn’t stay away from Jessica. She was a part of their future and maybe someday she would agree to be their wife. He didn’t want her to be in a place like the Iron Gate without him, without them.

“I’m sorry, Bella. My—our intention isn’t to upset Jessica. We want to be with her. We’re hoping that she’ll give us a chance to prove that a relationship between us can work. This might be our only opportunity to win her.”

Chase pushed his chair out and stood up, leaving his food untouched. He wanted to get back to their house and pack. They had a lot of planning to do before they could leave town. If everything worked out, they would only be a day or so behind Jessica. He didn’t want to miss anything. First, he had to make some phone calls and get their names on the private list.

He didn’t say another word as he left the house and headed toward his truck. He could hear Beau running up behind him. They both got into the truck and headed home. It was time to put a plan together. Project Win Jessica was just beginning.

Two Days Later

Jessica loaded her bags into her car and took a deep breath. She felt as if she was leaving something behind but she couldn’t figure it out. Walking back into the house, she looked around, making sure she had grabbed everything she might need. This vacation couldn’t have come at a better time. Love Song was getting busy, Alyssa was getting crankier with each passing day, Bella cried constantly, and Beau and Chase seemed to be following her.

She was only planning on being gone for a week, but she wondered if she was doing the right thing by going on vacation. Poor Hannah was the only one acting normal, and she hated leaving her alone at the store. She needed to get away and sort out her feelings. If she didn’t get out of town now, she might not get another chance for a while. Walking out the front door, Jessica locked it and headed to her car. She started the engine and pulled away, driving down the dirt road and into town. The drive to the airport would only take an hour according to her map so she gave herself plenty of time. She hated being late, and just in case she ran into traffic, she left the house hours before her flight.

The town seemed quieter than normal. Looking down at the clock, she realized that it was only six in the morning. Most of the people were probably still in bed. She drove slowly down Main Street, heading out of town. She kept driving past Love Song, past the pub, and finally out of town past Austin Brothers Auto Shop.

She remembered the day she arrived here in Coltmann County, it had been so hot out and they had to walk into town. Actually, that wasn’t totally true. They had dragged themselves into town dripping in sweat and on the verge of tears. Her feet had been swollen and she had been ready to scream. She walked into Austin Brothers and the cool air helped her to relax. Meeting Chase Austin had changed her attitude completely. He still affected her, just the way he had all those months ago.

* * * *

She reached Amarillo in record time, pulling off the freeway. Compared to driving in downtown San Diego or Los Angeles, the traffic was light and she maneuvered the car easily to the airport. She parked and checked the clock. She had plenty of time to reach the terminal.

Jessica grabbed her bags and walked toward the terminal, feeling lighter. She felt relaxed. Her vacation had officially started and she walked across the street and into the airport. Her first stop was the coffee shop right inside the terminal. She stood in line and waited to order her favorite coffee.

“Hi. How can I help you?” the girl behind the counter asked, and Jessica smiled.

“Hi. Can I please have a large iced caramel macchiato,” she said.

“Okay. That will be four dollars and seventy-five cents.” Jessica handed her a five dollar bill, told the cashier her name, and went to wait for her drink. She had been craving the delicious treat for a long time, ever since landing in Coltmann County.

“Jessica. Large iced caramel macchiato,” someone called out and she went to the small bar area and grabbed her drink. Taking a long, slow sip, she savored the cool beverage as the flavors exploded in her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned. Perfection. Having this drink was exactly what she needed to start her vacation.