Jessica's Breakdown [Journey of a Thousand Miles 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (12 page)

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Beau walked directly toward their hotel room. He knew that Jessica was a bit apprehensive about other people in the club seeing her. She had always been so strong and dominant, to be in his arms made her feel a bit weak and vulnerable. He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable, but he knew that they needed to make some serious changes in order to make a relationship between the three of them work.

When he had first met her, he could tell that she was submissive, but she fought it and them daily. It hadn’t bothered him one bit. The challenge and the chase was always more exciting than having an eager submissive willing to do anything. Her breakdown still haunted him, but he knew that if he and Chase worked together, they could help to free her and be what she needed, wanted, and craved.

Looking down at her now, her face tucked tight against his chest, he smiled. She was everything to him and he hoped that spending this week together away from Coltmann County would make a believer out of her. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted another woman in his entire life and he knew that Chase felt the same way. She was theirs, had been theirs since the first day she came into town.

When he stepped out of the club, he made his way to their hotel room and waited for Chase to open the door. Once inside, he sat her down on the bed, leaned down and kissed her lips. He wanted more than anything for her to be proud and strong and accept that she was their sub. Pushing himself away from the bed, he grabbed the phone and ordered a ton of food before heading into the bathroom to start the water for the tub.

Walking back to the room, he saw that Jessica was sitting in Chase’s lap. They looked so comfortable with each other and Beau wondered if his brother would be able to stop coddling her long enough to actually give her what she wanted. The fact that she needed pain to climax wasn’t so surprising. He had met lots of women that needed more than basic sex to come alive. He craved more as well, and he knew that Jessica could help complete him, too.

Chase looked up at him and Beau nodded, letting him know that the bath was almost ready. Standing up, Chase went into the bathroom and Beau watched as he set her down, letting her stand. Taking off her clothes, Chase helped her into the tub. Beau leaned against the door frame, and watched as his brother stripped down and climbed into the water with her. They sat there together, limbs tangled.

The sound of someone knocking on the door got his attention and Beau stepped back, letting Chase take care of Jessica. Opening the door, Beau took the cart, not wanting the waiter to see Jessica at all. With a nod and a smile, the man backed away and disappeared down the hall. Rolling the cart into the room, Beau put it next to the table and placed all the plates on it, hoping that Jessica would be hungry.

Going back to the bathroom, Beau watched as Chase cleaned Jessica, gently rubbing a washcloth down her arms, breasts, and stomach. He couldn’t move lower, since he was sitting behind her, so Beau went and kneeled next to the tub, taking the washcloth from his brother. Jessica watched him, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open as he finished washing her.

Taking his time, Beau soaped up the washcloth and glided it down, washing her pussy before moving down each shapely leg. She looked so innocent and petite next to Chase, and Beau knew that he would always want to pamper and take care of her. He needed her. It was such a scary realization, knowing that he could spend the rest of his life with her and never get tired. Did she want them both the same way? Would she accept them? The real question that yelled in his mind was would she be able to accept herself? It scared him, the thought that she might not be able to open up and be honest with herself about what she needed.

“Dinner arrived,” he said taking one foot into his hand and staring at the delicate little arch.

“I’m so hungry.” She giggled, trying to pull her foot free, and Beau let go, smiling. Stepping back, he grabbed a towel and helped Jessica out of the tub before wrapping it around her and drying her off.

“I like when you touch me,” she admitted quietly, and Beau had never felt more powerful than in that moment. He knew that it must’ve been hard for her to admit that, and he was grateful that she was being so honest. Maybe it would all work out after all.

“I love touching you.” Going down on one knee in front of her, Beau lifted her leg, drying her off. He went slowly, making sure to rub the thick white towel over every square inch of skin.

The sound of splashing water drew his attention and Beau watched Chase get out of the water. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked by, kissing Jessica’s shoulder as he went into the bedroom. One of the things that Beau loved about his brother was that they could easily read each other.

Once Jessica was completely dry, he held out his hand and they walked into the bedroom together. She seemed docile and Beau shook his head, hoping that this was just her being hungry and tired. He didn’t want her to become someone else. He loved the feisty, bossy Jessica. Walking further into the bedroom, she stopped and cringed.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have any of my clothes. I need my pajamas.”

“I like you naked. Let’s eat dinner and get some sleep. Tomorrow, I’ll have something for you to wear.”

Giving him a strange look, he could tell that his words upset her, but she bit her tongue and only nodded. He didn’t say anything, but he wanted to. He wanted to know what she was thinking. Why did she feel the need to be so agreeable? He didn’t want her going from one extreme, being completely dominant, to the other, being totally subservient. He needed to talk to Chase, but that would have to wait until Jessica was asleep.

Moving to the table, he pulled out one of the chairs and Jessica sat down, covering her pussy. He let it go. He knew how uncomfortable she probably was and he knew that they needed to formulate a plan. The last thing he wanted was to push her too fast too soon.

“I wasn’t sure what you might want, so I ordered quite a few different plates.” Lifting the lids, he watched her closely, trying to read which one she wanted without hearing the words.

The most important thing for him as a Dom was to be able to read his submissive and act before she asked for anything. Uncovering the last plate, he saw her eyes light up, and he grinned, picking it up and placing it in front of her. Looking up at him, she looked a little confused before she smiled brightly, grabbed the hamburger and took a huge bite. Her stomach growled loudly and Beau was disappointed in himself for making her wait to eat. He should’ve fed her first, before the bath.

“What plate do you want Chase?” he asked, watching as his brother sat down in the chair next to Jessica.

“Everything looks amazing. I’ll take the ribs.” Reaching over, Chase grabbed the plate and dug in, getting barbeque sauce all over his face.

“Thanks, I was really craving the fried chicken.” Pulling out his chair, Beau sat down and took a bite.

“Um, Chase, do you need a napkin?” Jessica laughed, shaking her head.

“He’s a total pig when he eats.” Beau threw a stack of napkins at Chase.

Putting her hamburger down, Jessica looked from Beau to his brother, and he wondered what she wanted to say. He took a few bites, watching her in his peripheral vision as she sat there in her chair.

“How did you both get into the club? I’ve been thinking about that. It was obvious that you know Mark, but how did you even know I was here?” She shrugged.

“We lived in Dallas for quite a few years. In fact, we had a shop here. That’s how we met Mark initially.” Chase wiped his face, answering her question.

“I didn’t know that.”

“There are probably quite a few things that we don’t know about each other,” Beau said, hoping that having the rest of the week together would be a learning experience for them all.

“What else don’t I know?”

“We became members here after meeting Mark and learned a lot about what we wanted. Before coming here, we were dominant, always had been, but we finally were able to learn how to do things.” He shrugged, hoping that she wouldn’t think anything bad of them. “Mark and Sean teach a group of classes, Dom boot camp.”

“Have the two of you always shared women? I don’t want details”—she giggled uncomfortably—“but I am curious.”

“Not always. We knew that this was the type of relationship we wanted, though. Being with one woman means that she will never be alone and that all her needs will always be fulfilled. Our parents lived in Coltmann County until a few years ago. They retired to Florida. We’ve always been surrounded by ménage relationships. I’m not sure if you know this, but we have two dads,” Chase said.

“Wow, no I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. I’m not sure how many small towns exist where ménage relationships are accepted. I know that mainstream society wouldn’t necessarily understand, and that’s one thing I like about being hidden from the world in Coltmann County,” Beau told her.

“I want to ask you a question.” When she nodded, Beau continued. “You’ve seen Bella with the Colton brothers, Hannah with Reece and Logan, and Alyssa with Grant and Justin. What do you think? Do you think you can be with two men?” He hoped that she would be honest with him. Could she really accept them both and did she think that her friends’ relationships would last?

“I know that Bella, Hannah, and Alyssa are all extremely happy. It’s obvious that their men love and adore them. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for my friends. I’ve been watching them all and it seems to be working. I never thought it could work for me. I’ve always been a little too bossy for my own good.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite touch her eyes, which looked a little sad to him.

“Is that why you considered yourself to be a Domme?” He had been wondering how she had switched from being submissive to dominant and now he just hoped that she would trust them with the truth.

* * * *

Jessica held her breath for a minute, looking from Beau to Chase and realized at that moment that they hadn’t heard her very private conversation with Mark in his office. Exhaling slowly, she wondered if she should open up and tell them about her past.

“You already know a little bit from the playroom incident.” She didn’t want to talk about that. It still embarrassed her that they had both seen her so broken, but she knew that they cared about her. It was in the way they looked at her and touched her, like she was special and fragile.

“I was in, an, uh…BDSM relationship quite a long time ago. I thought he was being loving and protective, but I realized after it ended that he was actually cruel and overbearing. I changed when I was with him because I wanted to make him happy, and in the process, I completely lost myself, the real me.”

Taking another bite of her burger, she pushed her plate back, her stomach full. It had been a really long day and she was tired, but she knew that she also needed to talk to both Beau and Chase. There was still that fear inside of her that she might lose herself. It almost felt like she didn’t know who that person was anymore. She had gone from innocent sub to depressed, to being dominant, and now she was sitting naked in a chair wanting to submit once again. It was all so confusing for her.

“I’m sorry that happened. Was the entire experience horrible?” Beau asked, pushing back his chair. She watched him stand then and move toward her. He held out his arms and Jessica went to him, letting him hold her close to his chest. Having him completely clothed and her naked made her feel very feminine and sexy.

“No. It wasn’t all bad. I really liked being submissive. I just chose the wrong man. When it ended, I didn’t want to be weak or vulnerable any longer, so I–I hid that part of myself.” Beau’s arms tightened around her and Jessica relaxed against him, letting him hold her weight.

“You don’t have to hide anymore. I’m hoping that this week you’ll give Beau and me the chance to prove that we can accept your submission without taking advantage or trying to change you. We really do care about you, Jessica. Will you let us take some of the decisions off your shoulders while we’re here? Will you explore the submissive side of yourself?” Chase asked her, rubbing her back, and Jessica nodded.

She really did want to give up control to them. In her everyday life, she was the boss and still planned to run Love Song with her friends. She never thought it would be possible to have it all. Now she realized that it might just happen.

Chase looked at Beau and he knew the exact moment his brother was happy. The fear of being rejected, of Jessica saying no, literally left his body. Beau’s face lit up and he smiled broadly. Chase could only nod while he rubbed Jessica’s back. She was so beautiful, standing between them and he knew, like he knew months ago that she was the woman for them. She always would be. They fit together like missing puzzle pieces looking for the right match.

“Let’s put you in bed sweetie. It’s been a really long day and you’ve already yawned a few times. Come on.” Taking her hand in his, he led her to the bed and helped her to climb under the covers.

Once her head hit the pillow, she yawned once more, fighting to keep her eyes open. It was so amazing to watch her struggling to stay awake as she looked from him to Beau. Sliding into bed, he pulled her into his arms and held her, wanting her to fall asleep. Beau climbed into the bed on her other side, and she moaned, yawning once more. Looking down at her, he saw her eyelids flutter close, and he kissed her forehead, waiting for her to pass out.