Jersey Girl (Sticks & Hearts #1) (9 page)

So, I remind myself to proceed with caution.

"Come on, I acted like a complete idiot." She buries her face in her hands and shakes her head. "First, I pretended to be mortified by your arousal, then I threw myself at you and proceeded to dry hump you for a good three minutes."

"Four minutes and twenty three seconds to be exact. But who's counting?" At this, she lowers her hands and cracks a welcome smile. "Listen, you don't have anything to be sorry or embarrassed about that morning. It was what it was. And if circumstances had been different, who knows what may have happened. I'm just glad I had the chance to kiss you before finding out you were off-limits."

She rolls her eyes and begins playing with the end of her long braid. My eyes rake over her body, taking in her short-sleeved V-neck shirt, leggings, and red Chucks. She looks every bit the part of the college student she is. Yet she looks nothing like the hundreds of girls I see every day on campus. Something about her makes her different. Maybe it's the way she carries herself, or the fact that her lashes are thick and lustrous without the help of makeup. In fact, she doesn't seem to wear any makeup. She doesn't need to. Her skin isn't flawless, and her hair is a little wild when not tamed like it is today, but it works on her.

"Yet another reason why I was nervous about telling you who I was. You know, I get that you have a code to follow," she says, making air quotes when she says the word code. "I don't agree with it, but I respect it. I know I'm Scott's little sister. I don't need you reminding me every time you see me. For what it's worth, I'm not a child. You don't have to go out of your way to make me feel like one."

Her eyes drift toward the window and she goes quiet for a few minutes, watching as people pass by outside. I use that time to study her profile and note that even though I know they're related, the resemblance between them ends with their hair and eye color.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to constantly live in someone else's shadow? To never be recognized as your own person? Everywhere I go I'm always going to be Scott Rivers' sister. Just once, I'd like someone to look at me and only see Cassie."

I can't say I relate to what she's going through, but I've heard my younger brother utter those same words enough to know what she's saying is real. Growing up, Chris wasn't blessed with the same athletic prowess that came naturally to me. He could skate, but not nearly as fast or as gracefully. He was better with computers and video games. After a few years of being compared to me, he eventually gave up and stayed behind a desk. Although I'd never invited all the attention, I'm not sure I did much to deter it either. Chris tried his best to convince me it didn't affect him, but I knew different. Whenever I go home, I can't go anywhere in our town without being recognized or asked for an autograph. Ever since my high school years of playing hockey, I've been told I was going places. I guess the people in our town believed one day I would make it to the NHL. Listening to Cassie right now reminds me that Chris had been one of the first to congratulate me when I'd signed with the Detroit team.

"Hey," I reach out to cover her hand with my own and the jolt of electricity I feel is hard to ignore. By the look on her face I can tell she felt it too. "I can't say I know how you're feeling, but please trust me when I tell you that people
do
see you. And not everyone here knows you're related to Scott."

"Thanks. But how do you know they see me when you don't even seem to notice?"

"Because you're hard to miss." I lean forward to grab a napkin and use it to dab over the moisture she's missed. "I promise you I've noticed, and when I look at you, I see a hell of a lot more than Rivers' sister. I see a confident, sexy woman, who just needs to take a step to the right to get out of her brother's shadow. Hell, I barely know you, but I can already tell you have a lot more to offer than you give yourself credit for."

The words barely leave my mouth and her lips begin to tremble. I glance nervously at the customers around us, noticing the way they are watching us. They must figure we're a couple having trouble, or some sort of scene like that, because when my gaze meets theirs they give me a hard look before turning away. Her sobs are stifled, but still noticeable enough that people won't stop staring. I hate nosey-ass people, and people knowing my business. Even though this isn't my issue, I'm once again feeling the need to protect her.

"Listen, why don't we get out of here. You obviously have a lot on your mind. We can go somewhere else and talk privately." She sniffs twice before wiping her nose on a napkin. She peers up through tear-soaked lashes, and for a moment it's as if my heart has stopped beating. Her vulnerability in this moment is what gets me. It catches me off guard, and despite all of my previous reservations, I find myself wanting to spend more time with her.

"Are you hungry? Cause I'm starving." I rise and hold out my hand to help her up.

"Okay. Yes. I think I would like that." She bends to gather her books, takes my offered hand, and follows me out to my car.

***

Breakfast okay?" I ask, pulling up to an all-night diner that serves breakfast all day. We love coming here after a game, but tonight it's fairly quiet and thankfully none of the guys are here. It's not that I feel like I'm doing anything wrong by being with Cassie, but I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea and running their mouth off to Rivers.

Once we're settled and have placed our order, I lean back against the booth and stretch my arms out wide behind me. She's no longer crying, but I can tell she's still fragile. I don't want to say the wrong thing by prying, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to know what had set her off. After a few seconds of staring, she saves me from having to ask.

"I'm sorry to be such a blubbering idiot around you. Normally, I'm not this sensitive. I've just had a lot come at me at once."

"You mentioned that before, in the bathroom at the party. So what is it that's weighing you down? Can you talk about it?"

"I'm lonely," she blurts out, and her thumb immediately goes in her mouth and she starts to chew nervously on the nail. "I know it sounds crazy. I'm surrounded by people, yet somehow it's not enough. It's just... coming here was a big change for me. I broke up with my boyfriend. And before you go thinking that's the cause for the tears, it's not. I'm the one who wanted to call it off, and I can assure you I'm over him. But it's still a big change. We'd been dating for a couple of years before I left."

"Wow, that's a long time. I've never had a relationship last that long. If you don't mind my asking, why did you end it?"

"It was time. He was moving back to Minnesota for school, and I wanted a fresh start. Catching him with his dick in someone else's mouth may have been another determining factor." I whistle under my breath and she tilts her head. "What was that for?"

"Nothing." She gives me a look that clearly says she isn't buying it. "It's just that guys are assholes, Cassie. Most of the time, we're only looking for a hook-up, or we're wondering if we'll ever find someone. But then there are times we have everything we've ever wanted right in front of us and we don't even realize how great we've got it. Bottom line, the guy sounds like a giant douchebag. You don't spend that kind of time with a girl only to whip your cock out for the next one willing to suck it."

I glance up to find her looking at me funny, like she's trying to determine where that rant came from. Honestly, I'm asking myself the exact same thing.

"Sorry, I'm not entirely sure why I just said all that. My point is, I think you made the right decision," I let out a long breath and wait for her to say something. Anything.

"I think you're absolutely right. It was the right decision, and I feel good about it. But even if it felt right, it wasn't necessarily easy. I'd grown comfortable with what we had."

"How so?"

She shrugs her shoulder and picks nervously at her napkin. "I don't know. He wasn't the only boy I'd ever kissed, but I've certainly kissed him the most. And I've known him since we were in grade school. Scotty knows him also; they used to skate together. And then there's the whole 'I lost my virginity to him' argument. I mean, at the time I took that shit very seriously. We'd dated for almost a year before I gave myself to him, and when we finally slept together, I foolishly believed I was his first. I later learned that wasn't the case."

"That must have been hard to accept. How'd you find out?" I don't know why I'm asking, but here she is, pouring out her heart in the middle of a diner, and suddenly I find myself caught up in what she's saying. I think briefly about the girl I lost my virginity to. Where is she today? Is she happy? Does she ever wonder about me? Probably not, because honestly, this is the first time in six years she's crossed my mind. Then I find myself wondering what it would have been like to share my first time with a girl like Cassie, and I know right away it wouldn't take six years for me to wonder about her.

"He admitted it after I caught Charlotte sucking him like a lollipop. Oh god," she slaps both of her hands on the table and rolls her eyes skyward. "I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this. It's just that I don't really have any friends to speak of. I mean, I love my roommate, and we talk, but she doesn't want to listen to me whining about shit like this. Hell, I'm sure you don't want to listen to it either. I'm so sorry." A look of panic crosses over her face and I reach out to her again, feeling the same spark as before.

"No, don't be sorry." I shrug, showing her my best smile. "I honestly don't mind. I often find I need someone to talk to, other than the guys, you know. There're just some things they wouldn't understand."

She cocks her head again and offers me a small smile. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Personal things. Family things. Most of the time, all we talk about is hockey, video games, how much so and so drank, and who banged whom. You know, guy talk."

"Yeah. I know all about guy talk, being a girl and all." Her lip quirks up, teasing me with the faintest glimpse of her pink tongue. Our eyes meet, and for the briefest of moments, I see a flicker of sadness cross over her face. "You want to know something?"

Just as I'm about to answer, the waitress comes over and places our food before us. Two steaming plates, heaped with food, and smelling delicious. We sit back and pick up our silverware. I watch as she rearranges the food on her plate, moving the bacon to one side, and pushing the sausage patty to the far right corner. She ordered the French toast, and it has already been doused with powdered sugar, but she liberally applies a bunch more. When she catches me staring she only smiles and takes a huge bite.

"So, you started to tell me something earlier," I prompt, eager to hear what it is she was about to share. I've never had this kind of conversation with someone I barely know. I find talking with her to be easy, and effortless. I don't know why, but I like it and want to keep her talking.

She swirls a bite of bread around in the syrup before popping it in her dainty mouth. I watch, captivated as she wraps her lips around the tines and pulls the syrupy goodness inside. Her eyes close as she savors the moment, and the moan that follows doesn't go unnoticed. I swear to god, it's hot as hell.

"One of the reasons I moved here was to be closer to Scotty." She finishes chewing and pushes her plate away. I find myself hoping she isn't through eating. I'm enjoying watching her eat more than I'm enjoying my own food. "I thought by us being at the same school we would rekindle our relationship. Sadly, that hasn't happened. We used to be so close before he left for school. Now the only things he has time for are hockey, Ashley, and school. I've tried reaching out. I even drop by the house. But he usually isn't there, or says he doesn't have time to hang out."

I can see by the pain on her face this is probably the reason for her emotional breakdown. And I know what she's talking about, so I can sympathize with her. Rivers has Ashley crammed so far up his ass he hasn't had time for anything else. But I'm just his friend. I can handle it. Cassie is his sister, and she shouldn't have to try and win his affection. My anger toward him only increases when I see her eyes start to water again, and if he were here right now I'd probably punch him in the throat.

CASSIE

"You know what? I think right now we could both use a good friend. So, what do you say to you and me being that for each other?"

I'll be honest, his offer catches me off-guard. I mean, a few weeks ago he went from looking at me as if he wanted to devour me to looking at me as if I had suddenly sprouted two heads. Studying him now, the attention he's giving me registers somewhere between the two. He's smiling, so that leaves me feeling fairly hopeful this could go well. I'd like nothing more than to be his friend. He's easy to talk to. He has this way about him that leaves me feeling warm and peaceful. And it doesn't hurt he's easy on the eyes. I could stare at him all day and never grow tired of the view.

"You think you can handle being friends with Scott's little sister?" I tease him. "I wouldn't want you to jeopardize your vows of brotherhood or anything tragic like that."

"Ha ha, very funny." He reaches his fork over and steals the uneaten sausage patty off my plate. He takes a bite, chews for a few moments, then smacks his lips. "As long as you can keep your hands off me, I think I can handle it." He flashes me a flirty wink, and I stick out my tongue at him. "Now, now, none of that Miss Rivers. If we're going to be hanging out together, there will have to be some rules."

"Oh, do tell," I fold my arms across my chest.

"Okay, let's see. I think the most obvious rule is no sex."

"Well, duh. That's a no brainer. Next."

He chews on his lip for a moment, pretending to be deep in thought. While he thinks, I stare at his mouth and remember what it felt like to kiss him.

Stop it!
I scold myself, very aware this may be harder than I'd originally bargained for. Clearly, I hadn't thought this out very well.