Jenna's Cowboy Hero (5 page)

“Jenna?” He called out louder. She could see him clearly now, coming up her drive.

He wore shorts and a T-shirt. She was in cutoff sweats and a T-shirt. She stared down at her foot, waiting. When she looked up, he was in front of her. His gaze lifted from the lost leg to her face.

“You're pale.”

Not the first words she expected from him, but it gave her a minute to gather herself. “Because you scared the life out of me.”

“What are you doing out here?” He hadn't turned away. He was still looking at her.

“The same as you, taking an early-morning run.”

He looked like he didn't know if he should laugh or not. She smiled, wanting him to be the way he was yesterday, before he knew. But if she had a wish, she wished she could go back further in time than yesterday. A year, maybe more. She'd make wiser choices. She would be more careful.

But this was her reality and it couldn't be changed. Deal with it. And Adam needed to deal with it, too.

“Adam, that was a joke.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Please, don't do this. Don't get weird on me.”

He nodded.

“I mean it.” Anger put power behind her words. “Don't look at me like that.”

“I'm not. You can give a guy a minute or two to adjust, right?”

“Fine, but I'm heading for the house and I'm making coffee.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Not really.” She smiled up at him, glad that he was still talking, still being real. The tightness that had gripped her heart was letting go, releasing. “Yes, I guess it is.”

“What are you doing out here at this time of the morning?” He walked next to her as they neared the house. “Or is that question off-limits?”

“I couldn't sleep.” She stopped. “Some nights are worse than others.”

“Pain?”

He opened the back door and motioned her inside.

“Yes.” She flipped on the kitchen light and reached for the coffeepot. He leaned against the counter and watched. His shirt was stained dark with perspiration. She remembered jogging. Someday she'd be fitted with a limb that made it easier to run. Now, she wore one that worked for riding horses and living on a farm.

Her life hadn't ended on that summer day in Iraq. It had started over, with new obstacles, and new moments when God proved Himself. She had met Him there, in the desert, as far from church and Sunday-school lessons as a person could get.

She poured water into the coffeemaker and added fresh-ground beans, leaning on the crutches, but her hands free. She was good at this now, at balancing, at moving and continuing with everyday duties that had
always seemed like second nature. Before. Her life was cut into chapters. This chapter was about learning to be the person she really wanted to be. The last chapter was the “Jenna who was whole” chapter.

But she hadn't really been whole. She had been missing something vital. Faith.

The coffee started to brew. She turned and Adam was waiting, watching her.

“What happened?” Adam pushed out a chair for her and took the one next to it. He looked like a giant at her table. A big golden-tan giant with hair that glinted in the soft overhead light.

“We were in a convoy and we were attacked.” She closed her eyes as the memories came to life. “I remember being on the ground and the sand was hot and I could feel that I was bleeding. I knew the enemy was close and I didn't think I'd live to see my boys again.”

“Jenna, we don't have to do this.” Adam's big hand covered hers.

She looked up, and he was looking straight at her. His gaze held hers and he didn't look away. She didn't know how to feel about that, about him here in her kitchen, coffee brewing and the rooster crowing in the morning.

She smiled. “It's okay, I don't mind. I've told the story before. I have to tell people what God did for me that day.”

“Oh.”

Was that him discounting God, and disconnecting? “Oh?”

“I'm sorry, go ahead.”

“I managed to move a short distance from where I'd been hit, but then I couldn't move any farther. I had one of those moments. You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes? Well my life hit me between the eyes. Good memories and bad came at me. I remem
bered stories from Sunday school. I remembered being picked up by various neighbors or by church buses and hauled to nearly every church in the county. I remembered oatmeal cookies with butterscotch chips. And I remembered those stories of Jesus. I had never really thought that He loved me enough to die on a cross for me. No one ever loved me that much, except maybe Clint. At least that's what I thought when I was eight.” She looked across the room at the blurping coffeepot. “The coffee is ready.”

“I'll get it, you talk.” His chair scooted on the tile and she watched him pour coffee and then add sugar to hers.

“You really want to know all of this?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I'll keep talking.” Because maybe that was the reason for his early-morning jog and her early-morning walk. Maybe God had brought Adam all the way to Oklahoma for this moment. “I had all of those thoughts and I thought of my boys and I knew that I couldn't die. And I knew that I could no longer deny God. After that I passed out and I don't know when I woke up again.”

She took the coffee and added more sugar from the bowl on the table. His eyes widened as he watched her add the two spoons and creamer.

“Want coffee with your sugar?”

“Only a little.” She sipped and it was just right.

“What happened next?”

“An elderly lady saw the attack and she sent her nephew out to rescue me before the insurgents found me. He dragged me back to their shack and they hid me. The lady had once been a nurse and she knew enough to keep me alive.”

“Not enough…”

“To save my leg.” Jenna sipped her coffee. Out the
window the sun peeked over the eastern horizon where the sky was streaked with pink against blue. It promised another beautiful June day with clear skies.

She couldn't look at Adam Mackenzie.

“It had to be hard for you.”

“It wasn't easy,” she whispered, holding the hot cup of coffee between her hands.

“Is it easy now?”

“It's getting easier all the time. I have faith, my life and my boys. I have a career training reigning quarter horses.”

She didn't stop to think of the things she didn't have, and wouldn't have. Willow had told her those were self-imposed “can't haves.” If that was the case, so be it. She wouldn't have a man in her life. Especially when he looked at her with pity. She wouldn't have a man in her life when she knew she couldn't let him look at her. And what man would want to look at her?

“It's that easy?” He shook his head and she smiled, because she could hear that he didn't believe it.

And she had to be honest with him. “It isn't always that easy. I get angry. I get down. I give up. And then…”

“You pick yourself up again. You would have made a great football player.”

“Thank you.” And she no longer wanted to talk about her. “Now do me a favor, let's talk about you. How does it feel to be home?”

“This hasn't been my home for a long time.”

“Of course not. I understand that because I left as soon as I could get away. I went into the military so I could live anywhere but here. But family and roots have a way of bringing us home.”

“Family and roots didn't bring me home. Unless, I guess, you consider Billy dying.”

“Why haven't you gone home to see your family?”

“Because I…” He laughed. “You almost got me. All of this emotion, and you almost pulled me in.”

“You're right, it was a trap. I shared my sad, pathetic little story just to get you to engage with your inner child. But there is no child in there. The tough guy squashed him.”

“Exactly. And I have been home, just not in a few years.”

“I hear the boys.” Jenna stood, wobbling a little before she got her balance.

“That's my cue to go?”

“It is. They wouldn't understand that it's morning and…”

“I get it.” He stood in front of her, towering over her. He smiled, but then the smile faded and he leaned.

Jenna choked a little and leaned back. “I don't think so, cowboy. I'm not a woman who plays games.”

Adam looked startled, his head tilted to the side a little like the dog when she smacked his nose for messing with her garden or chasing the cat.

“You're right. I'm sorry.” He reached for his ball cap and walked out the back door. On the step he paused. “Will you still be over later?”

“An almost kiss doesn't mean that I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to give you an excuse for backing out of helping those kids.”

He nodded, and she watched as he jogged away, her dog running alongside him. She listened as the boys scuffled around upstairs, the sound of a normal day starting. But she knew that today was anything but normal.

Today Adam Mackenzie was her neighbor and she stood at the screen door, looking out at the morning, wondering what that meant to her life. Or if it meant anything at all.

T
he Dawson Farm and Home Store was pretty close to empty at mid-morning, two hours after Adam nearly made a big mistake. Kissing Jenna would have been that, and more. He could think of a dozen reasons why.

But he didn't have time for thinking. He walked down the aisle that held horse tack and livestock vitamins, looking for what he thought he might need in the coming weeks. He hadn't bought farm supplies in a few years.

Instead of shopping for farm supplies, he should have been at home in Atlanta, preparing for a new career. Billy should be here, buying supplies, talking to locals and getting the camp ready to go. Not Adam, a guy who had spent less time with children than almost anyone he knew.

“You might want to grab mineral blocks.” A familiar voice.

Adam turned from the shelf of vitamins and insect repellants. Clint Cameron stood next to him, comfortable with his life of cowboy and local hero. Adam's boots were still too new to be comfortable.

“Yeah, there's a lot to get done, a lot to buy.” Includ
ing the mineral blocks, Adam realized. And if he needed them, that meant Clint had come through for him.

“I have ten horses.” Clint's hat was tipped low. “I'm still looking for two more.”

“That's good. Can you deliver?”

“Yeah, this afternoon if that works for you. I bought tack for them. I'll bring the bill.”

“I'm sure you will.”

Clint picked up a few cans of fly spray. Adam wondered if he should do the same. But if he did, he'd look like he didn't know what he was doing, like he was taking cues from Clint. And he didn't want to look like a novice. He had grown up on a farm. He knew what he needed and what he didn't.

Clint tossed him a can of the fly spray. “You'll probably need this.”

“I know that.” His collar felt really tight on his neck.

“Adam, we're not enemies, just guys who used to know each other and we had a few run-ins. That was a long time ago. Now we're two guys doing business, and I'm part of the community that wants to help you get this camp off the ground. Maybe you could give us all and yourself a break in the process.”

“Yeah, of course.” He grabbed another can of the fly spray. “I guess I'll see you this afternoon.”

“Sure, at about two.”

The front door chimed. Clint waved and Adam's collar felt a little tighter. Jenna, her blond-streaked brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She smiled at her brother and then at him. Her smile for Adam was different, it was strained. He knew how she felt.

This morning he had wanted to kiss her. Good thing she'd reminded him of the boys and her desire not to get sidelined with someone like him. Good thing, because
Clint Cameron was two feet from him, giving him a look that nailed him into the floor.

She adjusted easier than he had, shifting her attention away from him, sweeping that look from her eyes that said she remembered.

“Are you two up to no good?” She had a cheeky expression and a Southern drawl.

“I'm up to good. I can't speak for your brother.” Adam smiled back. How did a smile change everything?

“He's always up to good.” She slipped an arm around her brother. “He's just that way. I'm the bad one in the family.”

“I don't buy that.”

“It's true. I'm the rebel. But I'm a rebel with a cause. We're making a schedule for when people will start showing up to work at the camp.”

“I appreciate that.”

She laughed. “No, you don't. You're thinking it's going to cost you.”

He was, but he shook his head to deny her accusation. “Not at all.”

“It's going to cost you big-time. Church, this Sunday. You need to be there and thank people, maybe tell them your plans for the camp.”

“I don't really have plans.” He had plans, but the plans were about his life, his future, not a camp in Dawson, Oklahoma.

“You have to have plans. Oh, and I have a catalog where you can order what you need for the dorms. Do you want me to do that?”

“This afternoon. If you want to come over, we can use my phone and get that wrapped up.” How did he tell her no? She was a pint-sized dynamo, intent on her mission. He nearly smiled.

She hugged Clint and winked at Adam before turning to walk away. He watched her go, but turned when Clint Cameron cleared his throat to get his attention.

“She's my sister, Adam.”

“I know she is. Don't worry, I'm just looking to get this camp taken care of so I can leave.”

“This is a real inconvenience for you, isn't it?”

“It definitely isn't convenient, Clint. Look, I didn't set out to run this camp. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not unfeeling. I gave money to my cousin because he wanted to help kids who couldn't afford camp. He wanted to do something good with his new Christian life. What he did was swindle me and then he had a heart attack.”

Clint smiled. “Adam, sometimes God has a plan that we can't even begin to imagine. Maybe you coming here was His plan all along.”

“Right, thanks for the sermon.” He walked off, leaving Clint standing in the aisle with fly sprays and vitamins. He couldn't wait to get out of a store that smelled like chemicals, dusty grain and molasses.

As he stood at the counter paying, he watched Jenna Cameron walk across the parking lot that the farm store shared with The Mad Cow.

 

Jenna could have imagined a thousand scenarios as she pulled up the drive to the half-finished summer camp that afternoon. She never would have imagined Adam Mackenzie on the back of the big bay that Clint had decided to sell. She eased off the gas and let her truck coast to a stop. The boys jumped up from the backseat to lean into the front and watch the man on the back of the big red horse, black tail flagging proudly as it trotted around the yard.

He looked good on a horse. A tall giant of a man, his
white cowboy hat pulled low, his jaw set as he held the reins and controlled the barely broke gelding.

The horse sidestepped, prancing and then bunny hopping as he tried to convince the man in the saddle that he might actually buck. Adam kept the reins tight and his legs visibly tightened around the animal's middle.

“Let's get out, Mom. I want to see if that mean old horse starts to buck.” Timmy climbed over the seat and fell into the spot next to Jenna. David remained in the back. She glanced back at him. His eyes were wide and his mouth a firm line of seriousness.

“We're not going to get out. We don't want to spook Ready.” The horse had been named
Ready, Set, Go
as a foal, because Willow thought he always looked like he was about to race.

“It might be fun to see him spooked,” Timmy mumbled.

“That isn't nice.”

“I don't want Adam to get hurt. I wanna see if he can stay on.”

Jenna didn't laugh. Instead she hugged her son and motioned for David to climb over the seat and join them. She loved them so much. And her heart still ached when she thought about how close she came to not coming home to them. She didn't want to close her eyes, because when she did, it came back—the fear, the darkness, the thoughts of not being there to watch them grow up.

Adam reined the horse in and slid off. Jenna opened her door to get out. “Come on, guys, let's go see what we need to do around here today.”

“We need to find our turtle.” David slid out of the truck, already searching the grassy area around them. “We might want to feed him some bugs.”

“As long as
you
don't eat bugs, that's fine,” Jenna
teased, ruffling her fingers through David's blond hair as he stood next to her.

The boys looked up at her, eyes wide and twin looks of serious contemplation. Timmy held her gaze for a moment and then looked down, kicking at a clump of grass.

“Boys, we don't eat bugs.” Because they really looked like they might have already tried. “Do we?”

“Not anymore.” And then they ran off. She laughed and watched them go.

No more distractions. Nothing else to keep her from joining the men.

Adam was standing next to the horse, tall, making the sixteen-hand horse look small, and talking to her brother with a hint of a smile on his face. She likened him to Goliath. And she really felt as if he had come to devour her kingdom.

Of course he hadn't, though. That was just her imagination. He couldn't hurt her. He couldn't hurt the people she loved. She didn't know why she had put him in that category to begin with.

He smiled at her and pushed his hat back. “Nice horse, isn't he? Clint brought ten, and this one.”

“I thought he might like something for himself,” Clint explained.

“You're just looking for someone to take that grain-eating beast off your hands.” Jenna rubbed the massive head of the bay gelding. “He's a pain.”

“He's not. I just don't have the time to ride him the way he needs to be ridden,” Clint explained, and she wanted to tell him he could have brought the horse to her. But he wouldn't do that, she knew. He didn't want her to get hurt.

“Come into the office and I'll write you a check.” Adam motioned them all to the trailer that had become his residence. Jenna followed the men, their longer strides
eating up the ground. She wasn't in a hurry. A summer breeze swirled through the overgrown lawn, rustling last year's leaves, and the smell of a freshly cut hayfield carried on the wind. Days like this were for enjoying, not rushing through.

Inside would be stuffy. And crowded.

The boys were playing at the corner of the trailer. They were looking for the turtle, searching the grassy area as if they'd lost a treasure. Of course it was a treasure; it was a turtle. And what boy didn't consider those a treasure?

Girls liked them, too. Jenna had had her share of box turtles as a kid. She stopped to watch the boys for a second. They talked in whispers about the turtle and Adam falling off Ready. And then they looked up and smiled, a little guilty, too cute.

Adam cleared his throat. “Are you coming inside with us?”

“Oh, sorry, I was watching the boys. They're still looking for that turtle.”

“I saw him the other day. He's still around.”

“I hope they find him, not another snake.”

Clint laughed. “It wouldn't be the first snake they found.”

She nodded and reached for the rail to climb the stairs. “Did they eat bugs when they stayed with you?”

“No, but I did feed them hot dogs. Come on, Jen, you know I wouldn't feed your kids bugs.”

“I didn't mean that you fed them bugs. I wondered if you
caught them
eating bugs.”

“Never. Why?”

“Oh, something they said.” She smiled, letting it go. “Never mind.”

“I ate part of a worm once,” Adam said as he opened the front door for them. “I turned out okay.”

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better. I want them to grow up to be…” She wouldn't say driven and detached.

“Strong?” He supplied a word that she hadn't planned to say, and she nodded.

“Sure, strong.”

The trailer was dark and the furniture was dark. Jenna closed her eyes to give them a second to adjust from bright afternoon sunshine to the shadowy interior of the trailer. When she opened her eyes she could see clearly that it was a mess. Paper plates littered the coffee table and cans of soda sat on the end tables.

“What in the world have you done to this place?” She started gathering trash.

“It's my mess. I can clean it up.” He took the paper plates from her hands. “I'm sure not asking you to be my maid.”

“You need one.”

“Check, please.” Clint tapped the paper in his hand and held it out to Adam, who handed the plates back to Jenna.

She grumbled and walked into the kitchen, where the trash was overflowing. Had the man ever picked up after himself? She doubted it. He'd probably always been a superstar, even when he was in diapers.

“Jenna, I'll clean it up later,” he called out as he scribbled his signature on a check.

“I don't mind. If we're going to get any work done, I need a clean space to sit down.”

“It's clean.”

“Give it up, Adam, she's going to win.” Words of wisdom from Clint. He smiled at her, winking before he turned his attention back to Adam. “I've lived with her, and she's not going to put up with clutter, trash or dirty dishes. Have you seen her place?”

“I'm right here, stop talking about me.” Jenna bumped her fist against her brother's arm. “Don't you have a wife that needs you for something?”

“Yeah, she wants me to do the dishes,” Clint admitted with a wry grin.

“I know, when I picked up the boys, she asked me to come down here and make sure you didn't hang out too long.” Jenna sat down on the sofa, spreading the catalog she'd brought on the table in front of her. “Time to get busy, Mr. Mackenzie.”