Jenna's Cowboy (30 page)

Then they all three snuggled together on the couch, and Nate read the Christmas story from Zach’s rhyming Bible using only the tree for light. Jenna thought she might explode with happiness and contentment.

Nate seemed touched too. The dear man choked up and had to clear his throat twice during the story.

Christmas Day was fairly low key, as much as it could be with a two-year-old spoiled rotten by six loving adults. Since Zach told everybody that he wanted a horsey, he got six of them. A small stuffed one to sleep with, a big stuffed one to sit on, a stick horse, two to gallop across the coffee table, and a big rocking horse from Will. There were at least a dozen other toys, including a John Deere riding tractor from Nate and a bulldozer he could ride from Chance.

Her little guy was overwhelmed by so many new things at once.

Jenna opened her presents, delighted with the lovely peach sweater and peach and turquoise flowered skirt from her parents. The supple leather riding gloves from Chance fit perfectly. And the hand-tooled leather Western belt from Will would be great with her nicer jeans. She saved the gift from Nate for last. He did the same with hers.

Smiling, they scooted closer together on the sofa and ignored the chatter around them. Chance was showing Zach how to ride the bulldozer, so he was in good hands.

Nate carefully removed the gold ribbon and bow, then ripped off the shiny red and gold wrapping paper from the box.

Jenna teased him. “You ruined the paper.”

“It’s not a big enough sheet to recycle next year. And I saved the bow.” He leaned close to her ear. “I’m in a hurry to see if it’s what I think it is.”

It was, but she didn’t say so. Camouflaging a box containing a watch wasn’t easy.

He opened it carefully, and his face lit up when he saw the gold wristwatch, with a yellow and white gold link band. “Oh, wow. Honey, this is great.” He grinned at her. “And it’s not one of those five-dollar ones from Walmart.”

Not even close. But then he knew that. “I thought you might enjoy something nice to wear when you dress up.”

“Yes, ma’am. My old one is fine for everyday, but it’s lookin’ a little ratty for church. Thank you.” The promise in his eyes told her he’d thank her with an extra kiss later. He took the watch out of the box and slipped it on. “It fits perfectly. Great guess on the size of the band. I really like the yellow and white gold combination.”

“Good. I was hoping it wouldn’t be too small.”

Anticipation spiraled through her as she very carefully removed the sparkling, lacy silver bow and dark blue shiny paper from her gift. Judging by the long, narrow box, it was a necklace or bracelet. Or a pen and pencil set.

She eased open the lid to find a beautiful gold bracelet, each link heart-shaped. “Nate, it’s beautiful.”

“I thought it was appropriate, since you have my heart.”

Her eyes stung, but she blinked hard, keeping her emotions under control. Smiling up at him, she said softly, “Thank you for both.” Then she stretched up and kissed him lightly.

“You’re welcome.”

“Okay, you two, quit smoochin’ and show us what you gave each other.” Chance tossed a wad of green and gold wrapping paper at them, hitting Nate in the chest.

Nate threw it back with a grin. “Take care of your own trash.” He held out his arm so everyone could see his present. “My sweet woman gave me a great watch.”

While her family commented on the watch, Jenna removed the bracelet from the box and fastened it around her wrist. “And my sweet man gave me this beautiful bracelet.”

Her mother’s eyes widened, then glistened with a hint of moisture. “Nate, that’s exquisite.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Chance grinned at his sister and winked at Nate. “Good job.”

Will came over for a closer inspection, nodding in approval. “Looks like I don’t have to give you any lessons in the jewelry department. You’re doing fine on your own.”

Jenna glanced at her dad, expecting to see him smiling his approval. Instead he appeared sad. Was that regret clouding his eyes as he watched them?

He stood suddenly and went into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a big plastic trash bag. “Y’all cram all that paper in here, and I’ll haul it outside.”

As everyone gathered up the trash and crammed it into the bag, Jenna caught her mother’s eye. She nodded toward her dad and lifted her eyebrow in question. Her mom shrugged and mouthed, “I don’t know.”

When Dub left the room with the filled bag, Jenna excused herself and followed him outside. He stood at the end of the porch, his hands resting on the railing, his head bowed. She waited, uncertain if she should intrude. After a few minutes, he raised his head, took a deep breath, and straightened.

Jenna walked over to him. “Daddy, are you all right?”

He turned slightly and shook his head. When she joined him, he put his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. “Forgive me, sugar.”

She slipped her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. Apologizing didn’t come easy for her dad, though he had done it on occasion. She didn’t think, however, that she had ever heard him put it in those terms. “For what?”

“For tellin’ Nate years ago that he wasn’t good enough for you. For basically running him off.”

Jenna pulled away and turned so she could see his face. A shiver rippled through her. “What are you talking about? What did you say to him?”

Dub looked her directly in the eye. “When you were in high school, I could see how much you liked Nate. It was understandable. He was a good-lookin’ kid and a nice guy. I figured he was sweet on you too. Who wouldn’t be sweet on my darlin’ girl? But if he was, he kept it well hidden. I don’t know if he was shy or thought you were out of his league or scared of me. Maybe some of all three. I expect he figured I wouldn’t approve, and he was right.

“I was too caught up in my own self-importance. I was Dub Callahan. Powerful and particular. My only daughter was going to marry someone important, someone who would make a name for himself, go places in this world.”

“That’s why you encouraged me to date Jimmy Don.” At the time she’d wondered why her dad kept talking him up, practically pushing her to go out with him.

Dub nodded, then looked away, staring across the wide open vistas of his land. “Half the colleges in the country were trying to recruit him in high school. Unless he got hurt, he was a cinch to play pro ball. If something happened to keep him off the ball field, he was a straight-A student. I figured he’d still do well.”

Jimmy might have actually done better if he hadn’t played pro ball, she thought.
We might have too.
But it didn’t matter now. “Back to Nate.”

“One day, a month or two before he graduated, I noticed him watching you walk to the house. There was no denying that boy was in love. Hat over boots in love. By then, you were going with Jimmy Don, but I didn’t think you were in love with him yet. Nate was a threat to my plans. So I flat told him that he wasn’t good enough for you. He wouldn’t do anything remarkable or make a name for himself.”

“You were wrong about that.” Jenna didn’t try to hide her resentment. If her father hadn’t been so intimidating or interfered, Nate might have been more open with his feelings. If she’d known how much he cared for her, she never would have gone out with Jimmy Don. She certainly wouldn’t have married him and gone through so much pain and heartache.

“Yes, I was.” Her father sighed heavily and smoothed back her hair. “I was wrong on a lot of things. Because of my pride, I caused you to suffer. And I’ll regret that the rest of my days.”

“Don’t let it eat at you, Daddy. I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t resent you interfering back then. If I’d had any idea how Nate felt, I would have jumped at the chance to have a life with him. Still, though you encouraged me to go with Jimmy Don, you didn’t make me marry him. That was my own choice. I thought I loved him.”

“But now you know differently. You’ve loved Nate all along.”

“Yes, sir. I have. But I’m not going to dwell on the past, on what anybody did or didn’t do. I did too much of that for too long. Nate and I have a beautiful future ahead of us. That’s what is important now.” She hugged him tightly. “You’re forgiven, Daddy. Let it go.”

He held her close. “Thank you, Jenna.” He released her and lightly tapped her under the chin with his knuckle. “You’ll be the best wife Nate could ever ask for.”

“I’m certainly going to try.”

“Send him out here. Since I’m eatin’ crow, I might as well finish the whole bird.”

25

In January, life went back to the normal routine. Feeding the cattle and horses was an everyday chore except on Sunday. For once, it seemed as if they had all the fences squared away. Probably because the whole crew had spent the first two weeks of the month building a fence strong enough to contain Wandering Boy, the nickname they had given the Callahans’ prized bull.

Nate spent some time teaching Ebony the intricacies of cutting cattle from a herd. She was a quick learner, with inborn cow sense. The mare would prove her full worth during roundup in the spring.

Saturday night became date night for him and Jenna, with supper out. One week, they went to the Boot Stop, and the next to the Hacienda, a new Mexican restaurant in town. Then they drove to Abilene for seafood.

On warm days, they took horseback rides when the work was done and they could get away. But the times he enjoyed the most were the evenings she cooked for him. Afterward, they played with Zach until his bedtime, then talked, stole kisses, and dreamed for an hour or two until Nate dragged himself away.

Pastor Brad cut his sessions to once a week, which was fine with Nate. They were seeing progress. The prayers, counseling, and maybe the medication had gone a long way to improving his state of mind. He didn’t like taking the meds, but the psychiatrist thought he should stay on them for at least a year. Doctor Silverman anticipated that he might always need to take something for the anxiety and depression due to the likely chemical changes in his brain. Nate agreed to the one year test, then he’d see how things were.

He hadn’t had a nightmare in over a month and was sleeping well almost every night. Thoughts of the war still skittered through his mind several times a day. Intermittently, he fought battles all over again, not exactly in a flashback but in his memories.

Cars beside the road still bothered him. He tried to head off a flashback or panic attack when he first spotted the vehicle by reminding himself, often out loud, that he was in Texas. Usually, it was a rancher checking a stock tank across the fence, or an oil company rep inspecting some equipment. Folks stopped for other reasons were far and few between. If he saw someone who might need assistance, he’d pray for guidance and control and pull in behind them. Once a radiator had overheated. Another time, a very pregnant lady had a flat tire.

Then there were the tourists who barely spoke English. They were looking for the “cows with twenty foot wide horns” that some guy in Dallas had told them about. They wanted to take a picture standing beside one. He tried to explain that twenty feet was an exaggeration even for longhorns, but he wasn’t sure they understood. Finally, he sent them about thirty miles down the road to a ranch with a Texas longhorn herd. Then he called the rancher—the same one who’d ridden the longhorn in the Christmas parade—and warned him that he was about to have company.

Buster came up behind him one day to ask a question and startled him. When Nate spun around and almost punched him, word got around town to approach him from the front or make a lot of noise if coming from behind. To his relief, nobody seemed to think he was weird because of it. Or if they did, they didn’t spout off where he could hear it.

He was better, but not good enough yet to be a husband and father.

Since the week after Christmas, the temperature had been unusually warm, with fairly low humidity, moderate winds, and not a drop of rain. The stock tanks without windmills were barely more than mud. The creeks were empty, and Buster declared that the catfish were wearing flea collars.

The Callahans, along with the rest of the volunteer fire department, were called out to fight three grass fires in one week. Due to their quick response and a drop in the wind, those fires had remained fairly small, only burning a total of 150 acres. One shed was lost, but they saved the farmhouse nearby.

Folks were nervous, watchful, and extra careful.

On the last Tuesday in January, the National Weather Service issued a Red Flag Warning for a large part of West Texas, advising of critical fire weather conditions. The temperature was expected to reach the high seventies by the afternoon with humidity below 15 percent. They predicted winds twenty-five to thirty miles per hour with gusts up to forty-five. As far as the eye could see, the land was a tinderbox.

Chance went to his job site but was prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. Dub and Will stayed close to the house in case they were called out. They checked the water level in the two large portable spray tanks kept on the ranch and made sure the tires on the trailers had the right amount of air. If the Callahans were gone, Ollie and Ace would be in charge of keeping fire watch on the ranch. If anything happened, Buster would man one spray rig with Ace driving the pickup. Ollie and Ethel would handle the other one.

The fire departments in thirty counties readied their equipment and put their fire crews on notice.

Though he felt bad about it, Nate knew he couldn’t help fight a fire. He and Buster went to feed the cattle. They distributed a load of hay and one of cottonseed cake, counted the cattle in the pasture, and made a quick drive-by of the fence line.

Jenna was meeting Lindsey in town for lunch and had a hair appointment at 2:00. Without her at the ranch house for the meal, Nate planned to fix himself a sandwich and pay his bills. He dropped Buster off at the barn for his truck and went home to eat. The older cowboy always took a short rest after lunch, so Nate also spent a few minutes in his recliner before going back to meet him.

Dub’s and Will’s pickups were still at the house when they drove by to get another load of feed. Hopefully, they’d still be there at quitting time.