Jenna's Cowboy (16 page)

“Well, you had to use your imagination.”

“So what did you do to protest?”

“I bought an old ranch wagon and plopped it in a prominent place in the front yard, in view of the grumpy society lady across the street. Then I added a hitching post and draped some reins and coiled rope over it. They were acre lots, so it only took up a little of the yard. I had some other ideas, but Jimmy Don came home from a trip to Green Bay before I could do them.”

“He didn’t like your creativity?”

“By that point, he didn’t like much of anything that I did. He was furious and smashed everything. I couldn’t even save that beautiful old wagon.” She sighed. “At first I thought it would be all right. We settled in a new, lovely house, and I made friends with some of the team wives, as well as a few women from church. It was the city, but I was determined to make a go of it. But Jimmy didn’t like the same people I did.”

Nate studied her face in the fading light. How could Jimmy Don have been so cruel to such a sweet woman? “He liked the fast life?”

She nodded and watched her family pile into her dad’s pickup. Chance stood beside the open door. “You comin’ with us, sis?”

She glanced up at Nate. “Will you drop me off at the house?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll go with Nate,” she called to her brother. He grinned and climbed in the truck.

When Jenna started to walk around the front of the pickup to the passenger side, Nate followed her. She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. “I can open my own door, cowboy.”

“My mama taught me to be polite.” Besides, helping her into the truck would give him an excuse to touch her. “You don’t want me to get into trouble with Mom, do you?”

“Like she’d know.” Jenna smiled and shook her head, continuing on her way with him right behind her.

He opened the door, and she put one foot on the running board, reaching up for the handhold at the top of the doorframe. Resting his hand on her back to steady her— even though they both knew she didn’t need it—he stood protectively behind her as she hauled herself up into the high vehicle.

She settled in the seat, and her gaze met his. He figured she knew exactly why he’d insisted on being polite, but he didn’t think she minded a bit. He went back to the driver’s side and got in, starting up the engine without looking at her. If she wanted to continue with her story, he’d let her do it when she was ready.

“There were some good Christian men on the team who managed to have a pretty normal family life,” she said quietly. “Even some of the non-Christian guys did. They weren’t interested in the parties and late nights. But Jimmy Don thrived on it.”

“He always was a party animal.”

“He liked the fun and drinking, though he rarely got very drunk. It was the attention that he craved, from the regular fans, the fanatics, and especially the groupies.”

“I suppose there were groupies everywhere they played.”

“Yes, but some of the women followed them from town to town. Eva wasn’t his first affair, but that’s how they met. He said she kept chasing him, but I don’t think he resisted temptation for very long. If at all.”

Nate heard bitterness in her voice. “I can’t understand how he could choose another woman over you.”

She shrugged and tried to act as if it didn’t bother her. “It was easy. Eva liked the party life and fit into his new world. I didn’t. She made him feel more important than anyone or anything else, and evidently I didn’t.”

“You had a baby to take care of.”

“He met her before I got pregnant. Their affair began long before I had Zach. I was so excited about having a baby that I didn’t really see how much it bothered him. I wanted him to be as happy as I was. I thought having a child would draw us closer, but instead it drove us further apart. My psychiatrist said I projected my excitement onto him and couldn’t see his true feelings.”

“You went to a shrink?”

“I saw one in Dallas for a few months before Jimmy left us. After I moved back home, I decided that focusing on God, my family, and the ranch would do me more good than a doctor. I know there are good psychiatrists, but he wasn’t one of them.”

“So this guy said you caused Jimmy to be an idiot?” He clenched his fingers around the steering wheel, itching to punch out Jimmy and the psycho-doc.

“Not totally, but that I greatly contributed to his problems because of my attitude.”

“That’s garbage.” Nate scowled at her. “I hope you don’t believe him. Jimmy Don was always a self-centered jerk with an ego as big as Texas and Alaska combined.”

Jenna laughed. “You got that right. No, I don’t believe that. Not anymore. Talking with Pastor Brad helped me more than all the visits to the psychiatrist.”

“So Grace Community has a new minister?” Had his mom mentioned that? He vaguely remembered her saying something about it, but obviously he hadn’t been paying much attention.

“Yes. Pastor Higgins retired a couple of years ago. Pastor Brad is a good guy. He’s in his early forties, married, and has a couple of teenagers. I think you’ll like him. He served in Iraq as an army chaplain before he moved here.”

“Then he’s bound to be a good man. Those guys are a special breed. I look forward to meeting him.” He stopped the truck and trailer in front of the ranch house.

“Ramona will be disappointed that you aren’t eating with us.”

Was Jenna disappointed? He couldn’t tell. “She’ll have plenty of opportunities to feed me supper, but it wouldn’t be fair to make Winston wait for his chow and a good brushing.” “I do like a man who takes care of his horse.”

“Just like your daddy taught me.”

“It’s good to see you took it to heart.” She reached for the door handle. When he started to open his door, she rested her other hand on his arm. “Stay put, Nate,” she said gently. “I know your leg is hurting.” She got out of the truck and paused before she shut the door. “You go home and take advantage of that recliner. Do you have an ice thingy to put on your leg?”

“Several of them. Sounds like a good plan. You should kick back for the evening too.”

“I will if I can persuade Zach to watch a video or something.” “Good luck with that. I’ll see you bright and early in the morning.”

“Take care.” She shut the door and walked toward the house, her feet dragging a little.

He waited until she was safely inside, then headed home. It was nice having a woman besides his mom care about him.

Selfishly, he was glad that Jimmy Don hadn’t seen what a good woman he had.

14

On Sunday, Jenna sat at an angle in the pew in Grace Community Church, chatting with Lindsey, who sat behind her. She was excited that her friend had been commissioned to paint a mural on the outside of Maisie’s antiques store and wanted to hear all about it. Watching the door of the sanctuary without being completely obvious was an added bonus. The service would start soon, and Nate still hadn’t arrived.

She was worried about him. He’d done fine on the roundup, but he’d looked exhausted Friday night. Maybe it was nothing more than him getting used to the work. After all, everybody was tired by Friday. But his fatigue seemed deeper than normal, as much a weariness of heart and mind, perhaps even soul, as it was physical.

“Where will you put a mural?” Jenna pictured the old building, which had been built around 1900 if not before. Her eyes widened as she focused on her grinning friend. “The only wall with enough room is the false front. You’re going to paint it up there?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Lindsey was practically bursting with excitement.

“But that’s like working on the second story.”

“Dad’s going to set up a scaffold for me. He has several for his house-painting business and can spare one. I’ve worked on them before when I helped him, so it won’t bother me.”

“Do Maisie and the historical society have something particular in mind or are they letting you be creative?”

“Both. They want an 1880s–1890s laundry day theme. I’m thinking outdoors with a fire and an old wash pot, rinse tubs, a cow or two in the distance. The housewife, a couple of kids, and a dog running around, maybe grabbing some long johns hanging on the line. I’ll do up a sketch and see what they think.” Lindsey shifted her gaze toward the aisle, and her face lit up in a smile.

Jenna turned slightly as Dalton Renfro smiled back at Lindsey and nodded a greeting. But the deputy sheriff didn’t take advantage of the empty space beside her friend. He spoke to someone at the front of the church, then retreated to the back pew by himself.

“You’re going to have to plant yourself in the last row if you want that man to sit by you.”

Lindsey sighed. “He sits back there in case he gets a call. He doesn’t want to disturb everyone else. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. But with the five rows in front of him usually empty, it would be all too clear what I was up to. It probably wouldn’t work anyway. He barely knows I’m alive.”

“Don’t be silly. I didn’t see him smiling like that at anybody else. Don’t give up.”

Sadness filled Lindsey’s eyes, and the corners of her mouth dipped in disappointment. “I’m ready to.” She leaned forward, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been in love with him since I was a junior in high school. Eleven years, and he’s never shown any interest. I’m such a goof. It’s stupid for me to think anything good is going to happen between us.”

“He keeps pretty busy with his job.” Though Jenna wasn’t quite sure doing what. There wasn’t a large criminal element in the county. Probably because Dalton and the rest of the sheriff’s department kept a close watch on things.

“He had time to date Alyson Ford, Miss I-Can-Do-Everything-Perfect County Extension agent.” Lindsey made a face. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. She was nice enough and very good at her job. And everything else.”

“She chose a job promotion and move to Dallas over him. I don’t know how much he cared for her, but that had to be disappointing.”

“So now he’s gun-shy, which gives him another reason to have nothing to do with me.”

Nate walked through the door, and Jenna’s heart did a little flutter.

“Nate must be here.”

Jenna’s gaze slid back to Lindsey. “I’m that bad, huh?”

“You are.” She rested her hand on the back of the pew. “And I think it’s great. I’ll stay up here and prattle about how bored I get at the bank until he looks at you.”

Nate’s parents came in after him, and Jenna’s joy took a nosedive. She’d saved a seat for him, but with all the Callahans filling the rest of the row, there wasn’t room for his folks. What loving son would abandon his mom and dad on his first day back in the church he had grown up in? Especially when they hadn’t been in church for a while, either?

He looked at her and smiled, then glanced at the almost full pew and shrugged. She smiled back and nodded in understanding. He shook hands with several men.

As he passed them, Lindsey slid back, picking up the bulletin. Nate followed his parents into seats two rows up, right where Jenna had a good view of him. She’d noticed dark circles under his eyes, but his back was straight and his shoulders squared with the military bearing that seemed second nature these days. He still looked good in a navy blue Western shirt and new blue Wranglers.

As the worship team began to play guitars, piano, and drums and led out in a joyful wake-up, everyone-hurry-inside chorus, Jenna automatically sang the words. But her heart wasn’t in it. She was busy watching two young women check out Nate and try to catch his eye. Where had they been, Mars? Surely the gossip mill had alerted every eligible female in the county that he was dating her.
Isn’t he?

He didn’t appear to notice them, or at least he wasn’t paying them any attention. Good. She missed the next verse and sang the wrong words for a full line, earning a glance and raised eyebrow from her mother.
Oh, bad.
Being jealous was wrong anytime, but on Sunday morning during church? And being so transparent?
Very, very bad.

What business did she have being jealous anyway? They’d only gone on one date. Yes, they cared for each other. They always had. But there was no special, hands-off-to-anybody-else commitment between them. She didn’t even want one.

Silly woman. Of course she did. Jenna noticed the rest of the congregation beginning to sit down, so she quickly did the same. She’d been so lost in thought that she hadn’t realized the song had ended. Good thing she’d quit singing somewhere along the way.

Will leaned closer, whispering in her ear. “You okay?”

“Fine, but my mind keeps wandering.”

“Thinking about little britches’ party?”

She nodded, then inwardly grimaced. Add lying to her morning’s list of sins.
Father, forgive me.

“With you in command, it’ll be great.” He patted her hand, then turned his attention to the song leader as the worship team began another song.

That’s the problem
, she thought.
I’m not in command of
anything. Not my life. Not my emotions or feelings. Not
even the party.
Her mom had done most of the organizing and preparation. She apparently hadn’t considered that her daughter might like to plan the party or decide on the theme. Cowboys or race cars? Mom picked race cars—which was fine, but Jenna thought Zach would have liked Elmo more. Lately, he was big into the happy red muppet.

She hadn’t said anything about it. When Sue debated between burgers or tacos, she should have suggested pizza, one of Zach’s favorites. But she hadn’t. Throwing parties was her mom’s thing. She loved it and took great delight in putting together the celebration for her precious only grandchild.

So while Jenna had been miffed and inwardly pouted, she’d kept her silence, not wanting to diminish her mother’s joy. Nor was that the only reason for not wanting to stir things up. She owed her parents. Though she didn’t think they realized it, certain things were expected of her because she lived with them. At times she felt as if she was under their control and authority as much as she’d been in high school.

Yet they were wonderful to her and Zach in so many ways. After Jimmy left, her deep depression and despair had made it impossible to be on her own. She had needed her parents and her brothers to ramrod her life. It had taken all her effort to tend to Zach, leaving no energy or motivation to take care of herself. Her family and the Lord had saved her. She thanked God every day for their love, support, and protection. But now they were stifling her.