JAX (The Beckett Boys, Book Two) (4 page)

“No one can see you.” Jax leans toward me, and his mouth sucks on my collarbone. I groan from the gentle suction. “In fact, no one’s even paying attention to us. We’re half behind one of the drapes. Trust me, nobody gives a fuck.” His voice gets lower, and I hear him swallow. “I just…I need to taste you. I want to taste that sweet pussy on my fingertips. Please.”

My hips buck of their own volition at the thought of him touching me down there, my skirt hiked up, his fingers thrusting in me, panties shoved to the side. “Yes,” I find myself saying before I can think about it more.

His mouth locks on mine again, hard and insistent, and I grip his shoulders and bring him close. When his fingers dance along my hem again, he tugs the fabric up this time, skimming my shaking thighs.

“My God, you’re so fucking sexy it’s ridiculous,” he says against my mouth.

No one has ever spoken to me like that before. No one’s made me feel this way. My body feels languid and burning up at the same time.

His fingers glide above my panties and he flicks my clit, and I cry out against his mouth.

“Yes,” he says on a deep groan. “Oh fuck, you’re so ready. Open up for me, baby. Let me touch that beautiful pussy.”

I spread my thighs a little wider and he shoves aside my panties, and then his fingers are stroking my lower lips and I’m pressing against his firm hand. Heat boils in my belly, spreads through my limbs, makes me tremble with need. I feel wild, alive, dirty, wanton. This is so absolutely wrong, and I want it so badly I can’t breathe.

When one digit presses into my soaking slit, I stiffen a moment, then try to relax and let him in.

“Oh God, oh God, you’re so unbelievably tight,” he murmurs in awe as he pulls away and looks down at me. His eyes are so hot and hard on mine that I feel almost like he’s actually inside me. His finger pushes into my channel, and I swallow. “So tight and wet. God, you’re gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.” He does some kind of flick with his finger that hits my G-spot, and my body aches. “I want to pull your dress down and take your nipple in my mouth. Taste more of your skin.”

I want that too, even though it would expose too much. The music pounding in the background, the voices not too far away, the clattering of silverware and glasses around me, it all vibrates beneath my skin and reminds me I’m in public, being fingered by the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, possibly the dirtiest man in existence.

His thumb moves to rub my clit, and my orgasm starts roaring to the surface. My body tightens.

“Yes,” he pants. “I fucking want it. You come for me right fucking now, Brooklyn. Soak my fingers and let me taste your sweet come.”

He continues thrusting that finger in me, his thumb rubbing more insistently on my clit. I’m so close… My head drops back against the wall, and I gasp.

His mouth clamps on my throat and he bites down—with the small surge of pain on my flesh, that does it for me. I explode on his fingers, gushing all over his expert hands, my body shaking so hard I can hardly stand. He continues, relentless, making my orgasm stretch on and on for what feels like forever.

“Such a good girl,” Jax breathes as he rains small kisses along my jaw. I reach my hands up to wind my arms around his neck, and he adjusts my panties and tugs down my skirt. “Fuck.” He closes his eyes, and I almost want to come again just seeing the pleasure on his face.

Pleasure for me.

Pleasure for making me have an orgasm with only his hands.

If he’s like this with fingering, how the hell is he in bed, with sex?

I take a few moments and drag air into my constricted lungs. Jax keeps his hands possessively on me, stroking my hair, my hips, murmuring words I can’t quite hear against my hair. I can’t fight my body’s pull to him—I don’t want to leave this small corner, this little bubble we’ve created in this one perfect moment.

I’ve never experienced anything like this in my entire life. And I just did with the guy who’s quite possibly the worst for me. Della would be so disappointed.

The thought of my sister dampens my spirits a bit.

Jax leans back and looks at my face. His grin grows crooked as he eyes me. “You’re looking a little flushed there, Brooklyn. Maybe you need something to drink?”

“Very funny,” I say, straightening my spine. My body is aching for more of whatever he can give me, but I can’t let it happen. I’m going to be proud of myself for stopping now instead of doing what I want.

And that’s letting Jax guide me up to his bed and show me what sex is like.

He takes my hand in his—a gesture that’s becoming alarmingly familiar—and leads me toward the bar. When the bartender isn’t looking, he grabs one of the opened bottles of wine and takes it, thrusts it in my hands, then grabs a glass and guides me away from the bar.

“This is stealing!” I say in a mock gasp.

“Smith’s paid for all this shit anyway,” he replies. “We might as well enjoy it. Let’s drink out by the gazebo where it’s quiet. We can look at the stars.”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” I’m actually quite touched he thought of it.

As I follow Jax out the hotel door and into the garden, I keep chanting to myself that it’s just one night, nothing more. I can enjoy his company without my heart being in danger. We’ll sit out there and talk and drink, and it’ll be fine.

No one will even need to know. It can be my secret.

“
J
ax
, get me two shots of vodka,” Smith hollers from the other side of the bar, where he’s taking a drink order at a table. “Plus four Irish car bombs.”

The crowd in Outlaws is boisterous tonight. I’m riding high from the atmosphere. For the first time in weeks, it feels back to normal again, with a crazy crowd ready for anything. Since Aubrey and Smith started slowly making the bar over, introducing limited food to the menu and changing the advertising, things have been…different.

And not in a good way.

The wedding was a week ago, but Smith is still wearing that smug shit-eating grin that I kinda wanna punch.
Okay, I get it, buddy. You’re happy and in love. Good for you. Now fucking get your shit back together.

I admit, it doesn’t help that I’m still irritated over him inviting our cousins to his wedding. Those guys are fucking dicks—and Asher said that at one point, a few of them were surrounding him and he thought he was going to have to fight his way out.

Smith told me he invited them because they’re family.

We don’t need fucking family like that around us.

Shaking off my sullen thoughts, I fetch shots and pour beer and fetch and pour and flirt with the ladies to rack up the tips.

I still haven’t found those damn wedding rings. So all of my extra money will go toward paying the vault back. Thankfully it wasn’t a thousand bucks, like I’d feared, but several hundred for the set of two rings is still a lot.

Luckily, Smith and Aubrey didn’t notice the old switcheroo.

“Jax! Jax!” a black-haired woman in a tight shirt shouts at me from the middle of a cluster of women. I think her name is Veronica. She’s not one of my regular hookups, but we did make out in the backseat of my car once. She’s waving dollars in my direction. “Hey, what’s a girl gotta do to get some attention around here?”

Something about her pushiness grates at me. I don’t know why, but rather than finding her forwardness sexy, it’s…too much.

My heart gives an uncomfortable lurch, and I force myself to keep the smile plastered on my face. I’m just in a funk, is all. Since my brother’s wedding, shit’s been off for me. Probably because he’s now in blissful la-la land.

I’m sure my emotions have nothing to do with Brooklyn, whom I haven’t seen or talked to since that night. Brooklyn, with her big green eyes and sexy mouth and tight pussy and breathtaking smile. And the way she’s so proper and yet has that wildness right beneath the surface, begging to be released.

God, she let me finger her at the reception. That has to be one of the hottest fucking moments in my entire life. I get a raging hard-on every time I think about that night. I’ve jacked off God only knows how many times remembering the look on her face as she came all over my fingers.

And then afterward, we just sat in the gazebo and…talked. Not really about anything important, and not for long. But I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a non-sexual encounter with a woman.

On that day, I had more than one encounter with her, including us going to get the rings.

What the fuck. That’s not my usual style at all.

Veronica comes over to me and flops the money on the bar, interrupting my thoughts.

My smile grows dangerously thin. “Do you want something, hon?” I say in what I hope sounds like a patient tone.

She eyes me. “I thought we were gonna go out. You haven’t even called me.”

Ah, so that’s what this is about. Not drinks. She wants to talk. “Been busy. You know how it goes.”

“I heard your brother got married,” she says. Her eyes narrow. “Didn’t think any woman was able to tame the wild Beckett boys.”

“Evidently one could.” A little flare of unease slivers down my spine at the thought of marriage. Being hemmed in with someone, day in and day out. Never knowing if there was someone better out there for you.

Someone who wouldn’t just up and leave your family without a word, the way my mom did when I was only three. That’s fucked up.

No, I’ll never let myself be that vulnerable emotionally with someone.

“So…” Veronica winds a lock of hair around her fingers. “About going out…when are you free? I know you don’t work
all
the time.”

“Don’t know. We’ll see, I guess.” I take the money and get her regular drink, a rum and Coke.

Truth be told, none of the women I’ve seen around town since the reception have interested me. And more to the point, I want to find Brooklyn and see if she’ll go out with me. See if I can open that wild side up again. Because tasting her mouth was like getting the first hit of heroine. I’ve been craving it ever since.

I finish out my work shift, and when we close the bar down at the end of the night, Aubrey strolls in wearing nursing scrubs. She looks tired, but her eyes still light up when she sees Smith sweeping the floor.

Smith, her husband.

I still can’t wrap my brain around that. Guess Mom’s abandonment didn’t fuck him up like it did me. And Aubrey’s a tough cookie. She had to go through a lot to get to where she is, and it’s impossible not to respect her for that.

I might not like the changes to the bar that she’s implementing with my brother, but it’s hard to not like her personally.

“Hey, good to see you,” I tell her as I inch near to her side.

Aubrey slides a glance at Smith then walks up to me and gives me a big hug. “Hey, you. Thanks again for all your help with the wedding. You made our day special.”

Aubrey and Smith decided to wait for their honeymoon trip until late July, when they’re going to take a weeklong cruise to Cozumel. That way, Asher is home from school and able to help me manage the bar for a week during their absence.

My oldest brother, on vacation—something he never did before Aubrey came around. Surely this ushers in the start of the apocalypse.

I hear Smith’s low growl behind me as I wrap my arms around her playfully. “You’re looking good for an old married woman,” I tease her. “When are you gonna get yourself knocked up with a Beckett boy? We’re depending on you to continue our dynasty.”

She laughs. “You’re an ass, Jax.” With a quick kiss on my cheek, Aubrey steps back, her eyes dancing. “But I love you anyway. Now I’d better go say hi to my husband before he starts a fight with you. He’s the jealous type.”

I hear them sucking face behind me for a long moment and avoid staring in their direction, giving them a bit of privacy as I finish wiping things down around and behind the bar. Their soft words to each other are unintelligible, but I can hear the affection in their voices.

Christ. It’s almost enough to make me put some earplugs in.

Even so, a small part of me wonders what that would feel like. To be so in love with someone that you want to spend your life with that person. The risk is far too great though. And besides, I love my life the way it is.

This bar, my freedom, they mean everything to me. I’m not accountable to anyone else for my actions. I come and go as I please.

“So, Jax,” Aubrey says when she detaches her mouth from Smith. “I saw you dancing with Brooklyn at the reception.” There’s more than a little interest in her voice as she starts flipping chairs on top of the table surfaces to help us out.

My heart gives this funny little skip, hearing her name spoken aloud. It reignites that hunger I’ve been feeling all week. I give Aubrey a carefree grin and say, “She’s a delightful dancer.”

Aubrey rolls her eyes. “Laugh it off, but I saw sparks between you two. I’ve never seen her like that, to be honest.”

“Oh?” I don’t want to give away how much that makes my heart skip again. But knowing she’s possibly feeling whatever the fuck it is I am, it does impact me.

She flips the last chair over. “She’s a very responsible person. Finishing her bachelor’s degree in a few weeks, if you didn’t know. She has big plans for her life and she’s focused on achieving her goals.”

I feel a low burn of anger brewing in my gut. Aubrey couldn’t be clearer if she hit me square in the face. I’m not good enough for her cousin. Like I don’t already know that.

Still, the fact is,
she
married one of us Beckett boys. And Smith isn’t that different than me. We’re both working the same job. We grew up the same way. Yet she’s insulting me for being who I am.

“Hey.” Aubrey comes up behind me. “You okay?”

I turn and give her a blasé smile, wiping down the glass I was washing. “Just fine, hon. I hear ya loud and clear—stay away from your cousin.”

“No, no, I’m not trying to insult you or anything. I think that came out wrong.” She sighs. “Look, Brooklyn…she’s very innocent and I—”

“Don’t want a bad boy like me to corrupt her,” I finish flatly. I put the glass down and pick up another.

“
No
, I don’t want her to get hurt.” She sighs. “I walked into this with your brother knowing what I was getting into. But the fact is, in order for he and I to work, we both had to make some changes. Compromise.” Aubrey gives me a small smile of empathy. “You’re not the settling-down kind, the kind willing to change for a relationship, and she is. That’s all. Just…if you do see her again, please don’t hurt her, okay? Be upfront with her about everything so she can make an informed decision.” I can see the warmth in her face as she eyes me.

My anger fades. What right do I have to be upset about this, anyway? She’s just telling it like it is. Brooklyn and I have different goals, different aspirations. We’re nothing alike—she’s book smart, and I’m street smart. And yet…I can’t deny that I want to know her better. I want to smell her skin again. Taste her mouth. Taste more than that. Hear that desperate gasp again as she’s about to come. “I get what you’re saying,” I tell Aubrey plainly.

Aubrey digs into her pocket and hands me a piece of paper. “Here’s her number.”

I blink. Okay, after the speech she just laid on me, I wasn’t expecting that. “Did Brooklyn ask you to give this to me?”

“She didn’t have to.” She shoots me a wide grin and puts the paper in my hand. “When I talked to her the other day, she spent the entire conversation not mentioning you at all. It was so obvious she wanted to talk about you but wouldn’t let herself do so. She didn’t want to give anything away, but her face said it all.” She shakes her head and laughs. “I love Brooklyn, I really do, but she’s far too uptight to be only twenty-one. I think you could help her with that a little. Get her to loosen up and have some fun. Life’s about more than just school.”

I cram the paper in my jeans pocket. Try to pretend it isn’t burning a hole through the fabric. I give Aubrey a dashing grin to mask my emotions. “Thanks, hon. Now, you’d better get back over to your husband before he pounds my face in for taking up more of your time.”

Moments later, she and Smith exit the bar through the door leading to their upstairs apartment.

I flick the lights off and lock the door behind me, hopping in my car. Mulling over the things Aubrey said about Brooklyn. She thinks I could actually be good for her—at least, in the short-term.

I’m tempted to send Brooklyn a text right now, but it’s almost three in the morning. No doubt she’s asleep.

Still, it is a Saturday night, and she knows I work bar hours.

This indecision isn’t like me. Hell, I usually never have to chase after a girl. They come to me. They know who I am and they want me as-is. Yeah, Brooklyn might be able to handle my wild side, but in the end, she would want more than that. And I just can’t give her more.

I keep the paper in my pocket and drive to my apartment.

* * *

S
unday morning
, I head to the gym and do my morning workout. I sweat hard and push myself as much as I can. Tell myself with every rep that I should leave her alone. Tell myself that she’s better off without me. That some other guy can help her loosen up, a guy who wants a more serious relationship. A guy who’s more compatible with her.

A guy who actually deserves her.

I fucking hate that guy, whoever he is.

Because
I
want to be her first, as selfish as that might be. I want to watch her awaken sexually to her full potential. I’m greedy and foolish and as I hop in the shower at the gym and clean up, I already know I’m going to text her.

Still, I make myself wait until I get back home. I straighten up around my apartment, throwing away the trash that’s built up on the counters, do the dishes, pop in a load of laundry, all that shit I’ve been putting off.

Only then do I grab my phone and put her number in and text her.

Bought any more wedding rings lately, darling?

I make myself put my phone on the coffee table and grab a beer. Crack it open and dig into a slice of cold leftover pepperoni pizza. Turn on the TV to watch the baseball game.

My phone buzzes.

I feel my heart give that funny little tug again it does whenever I think about her.
Stay fucking cool,
I order myself. Reach over and grab my phone to read the incoming text.

Sadly, this wk I haven’t been around anyone else irresponsible enough to lose something important.

I chuckle. Just as sass-mouthed as I remember.
Well, if u want adventure, all u have to do is ask.