JAX (Breaking the Declan Brothers #1) (8 page)

He closes his eyes, shutting me out as usual. “Then maybe, fuckers, you should’ve just let me sleep.”

I want to reach down, scoop his ass up from the floor, and beat the living shit out of him. He pisses me off so bad. He’s letting his life go to hell. “Fuck this shit.” I turn to Zeke. “He’s all yours.”

I leave and head for my bedroom. Slate’s killing me. I don’t know what to do with him. Along with countless visits to the ER from overdoses, we got him in rehab a few times.  He gets clean for a few days, once even for a few months, but then the dickhead’s back to using. I know he’s been through hell, but it’s as if he likes it there because he just keeps going back. The counselors keep telling me that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. But he’s my little brother. I’ve been saving him his entire life. Even if I wanted to, I can’t stop trying now.

I’m beat though, tired of being the big brother, the babysitter, and the parent. Hell, I’m thirty, and they’re both fucking adults now. I shouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore.

I sit down on my bed in the dark and hear a door slam followed by the little fucker’s yelling at each other. I take a few deep breaths, but it doesn’t help. The fighting escalates outside of my room. I give in to my anger. I jump up, grab the lamp on my nightstand, and slam it against the wall. But fuck, that shit doesn’t help either.

I stalk out of my room. They’re in the kitchen, fists clenched, standing face-to-face, and shouting at each other.

“Hey,” I yell, hard and loud. And damn, it still works. They both stop and look at me.

“Dickhead here thinks he’s leaving,” Zeke rushes out.

“Fuck you.” Slate jabs Zeke in the chest.

I walk over to Slate, grab his wet shirt and pull him close. “You ain’t fucking going nowhere. You’re stayin’ right here, and Zeke is stayin’ right by your side. That’s the only reason your ass isn’t at the hospital right now. Zeke saved you from that.”

“Fuck off.” He goes to push me, but I catch his arm and clamp down hard.

And I know how much he hates being touched so I’m ready for his other arm. It comes at me, and I catch that, too. He might be strong when he’s coming out of a high from a dose of freezing water, but I’ll still beat his ass down and he knows it. “What? You want next time for one of us to find you dead in that fucking bed. You want to put Zeke through that shit.” I release his arms. “Get it together, Slate.” I shove him away from me.

Slate glances at Zeke, and I know he doesn’t want to hurt him. “I took a fucking sleeping pill, that’s why you couldn’t wake me up.”

“Yeah, right,” I snort. Three years ago, I mighta believed him, but now. He’s full of nothin’ but shit.

“Fuck you.” Slate shoots me a look, knowing I’m not about to fall for any of his bullshit. He takes a step toward me. My hands ball into tight fists and my shoulders lift.

“Come on, Slate, let’s go hang in the den,” Zeke says, trying to level the battlefield before it has a chance to build. “We’ll watch TV, or if you’re feelin’ up to it, I’ll kick your ass in Grand Theft Auto.”

I wait, hands clenched. It wouldn’t be the first time Slate’s challenged me. The last time we went at it, I ended up with a black eye, and he couldn’t fight for a couple months due to a few cracked ribs. I know all his moves. Hell, I taught them to him.

“Kick my ass?” Slate turns to Zeke with a weak devious grin. “Shit, let me get out of these wet clothes, and we’ll see whose fucking ass gets a whoopin’,” he says and walks to his bedroom without giving me another glance.

My hands relax and shoulders drop. I blow out hard, glad it went down the way it did. I hate fighting with my brothers.

 “See, he’s all right, was just a sleepin’ pill,” Zeke says. “I’m gonna go change, too.”

“You keep an eye on him,” I call after Zeke as he capers off.

“Sure thing, pops.” He chuckles before disappearing down the hall.

I stand in the kitchen for a few seconds, exhausted and feeling like shit. I spot my keys on the counter. Fuck it.

I need her.

I grab my keys and head out the door.

CHAPTER TEN

I roll over in bed hearing
Private Eyes
. It’s playing in my dreams. I love that song. But I like the remake by
Sleeping At Last
better. I wrap my arms around the pillow. The music stops, then it starts all over again. Shit! I jump up searching through the darkness for my phone. It’s somewhere in bed with me. Yeah, I’ve been keeping it close waiting for Jax’s call. I made
Private Eyes
the ring tone for people not in my contacts. I spot the light through the sheet. I scatter to get it. I hope it’s him. I squint to read the time. God, if it is, why’s he calling me now?

I swipe the screen. “Do you know what time it is,” I say. Regardless of who is calling me, it’s the middle of the night.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Jax’s husky voice says through the line as if he’s right here with me in my bed. It goes silent, but that’s okay. I’m still trying to wake up, still trying to grasp that this isn’t a dream. He finally called.

“So,” I fall back on the bed, “what’s up with the late-night call?”

The silence runs on for another moment then the only sound I hear is his deep voice. “I want to sleep with you.”

“What?” My heart stops mid-beat, and I sit straight up again. “Now? It’s four-thirty in the morning!”

“Yes, I know.”

“But, ah,” I bite my lip.

“Yes or no, Em. It’s an easy enough question to answer,” he says. Damn him and his pretentious tone.

I pick at the sheet. Shit, what to do? Stay strong. Don’t give in. Make him wait just as he made you wait. “I’m in bed.”

“I assumed as much, but I want you in mine. Yes or no, Em,” he says, and again, I feel him beside me, tempting me with those near black eyes.

“Yes.” I’m hopeless when it comes to Jax Declan. Just fucking hopeless. He can have me anytime he wants. He knows it. But, I didn’t think he’d abuse it by getting my ass out of bed in the middle of the night for a booty call. “Give me a few, and I’ll head on over.”

“I’m outside in my truck. Come out when you’re ready.”

“You’re here.” I jump out of bed, tread to the window, and pull the curtain back. Sure as shit, he’s out there.

“Now what kind of gentleman would I be to wake you in the middle of the night, tell you I want to sleep with you, and then expect you to come to me?”

“Oh.” I close the curtain, walk over to my dresser, and pull out a pair of sweat shorts. “I’m learning real fast that you’re no gentleman, Jax Declan.”

“And I’m learning real fast that you like me better that way, princess. Now get your ass out here,” he says, and the line goes dead.

Dammit. Why, when he says things like that, does it make me want to fuck the shit out of him? I yank on my shorts, head to the bathroom to wash up, brush my teeth, and I’m out the door in five minutes flat. I would’ve liked to make him wait longer, but I’m anxious to see him.

I pull the truck door open, and his masculine scent rushes into me. He doesn’t have a shirt on. The street lights dance tauntingly upon his tatts and muscles. Muscles that are going to be under my hands very shortly. My heart skips a beat, and that strong beat ends right between my legs, exactly where I want his mouth. His hair is damp, and his black eyes glisten like the night, dark and dangerous. He watches me climb in and waits for me to shut the door.

“Buckle up.” He turns to the road and puts the truck in drive.

He doesn’t say anything. Not a single word for the whole five minutes it takes to get to his place. He parks, gets out of the truck, and I follow him inside the apartment.

Like him, it’s dark and quiet.

He takes my hand, and this handholding thing really does some crazy shit to me. Our skin clinging together, the connection feels absolute.  I can only image what’s going to happen when we get into his bedroom. When we’re naked and joined as one. My heart flutters and shit, my palms start to sweat. Oh God! Can he feel it?

He guides me down a hall until we reach what I can only assume is his bedroom. He releases my hand, waits for me to enter, and then closes the door. He flicks the light on. There’s a dresser with nightstands on either side of a huge unmade king-size bed. The room is neat and clean, all except for a broken lamp on the floor. His eyes flash to the lamp then back to me, and that’s when I see the stress etched into his beautiful face.

“What happened?” I take a step toward him, but he turns away from me and walks over to the dresser.

He pulls his phone from the pocket of his jeans and sets it on the dresser. “Take your clothes off and get in the bed,” he says with his back to me, voice deep and demanding, like when we were in that dark room at the bar.

So it’s gonna go down like this. He’s obviously in that dominant, do as I say mode. I can deal. It’s hot. It never turned me on before when a guy tried to order me around, but when Jax does it, all I want to do is comply. With shaky hands, I strip my clothes off and get on the bed. It’s like jumping into a cloud of Jax, soft, resilient, and it smells of Heaven.

“Get under the sheet,” he says as he walks over toward the light switch.

Watching his strong form move across the room, jeans low on his hips, smooth muscles rippling upon his broad back, a savage animal ready to attack, I eagerly obey and cover myself. The light flicks off, and his massive shadowy figure moves toward the bed. I hear his zipper break apart. My body ignites with anticipation. The metal button of his jeans hits the hardwood floor. My pussy cries a little knowing his pants are off, knowing he’s finally coming for me. The bed sinks from the weight of his body as he comes in for the kill. My kill, and I hold my breath preparing for the attack. I’m ready. Hell, I’ve been ready and waiting for years.

“Roll on your side, away from me,” he says not as demandingly.

Okay… not the kind of attack I was expecting, but I’ll submit. I turn from him. His arm comes around my waist and he pulls my naked body against him. He’s hard in the right places, soft in others, and warm all over. So warm. His lips brush up my nape, and my flesh undulates with heat. He presses a light kiss upon my skin before his head settles between my shoulder and neck. He holds me, just lays there and holds me. My nipples harden. I’m so wet. My body aches for him, but he doesn’t make a move. His hands don’t wander, he just holds me.

“Ah, Jax,” I run my fingers along his muscular arm, “do you…are we going to…”

“No, we’re not. I told you before, your body is meant for other things, and one of those things is to comfort a man when he needs it.”

Comfort? Jax is full of wonders, considering I’m naked and in his arms for the first time. Whatever’s going on with him, it must have something to do with the broken lamp on the floor. “Jax, are you okay?”

“I am now, Em.” He kisses me on the neck and settles back in.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“So, when you said you wanted to sleep with me, you meant just that?”

“Yeah, I had a shitty night. And I know it was selfish to wake you up because of it, but I needed to see you.” His arm tightens around my body. “But I’m fucking tired, and all I want right now is to have you like this.”

“I think you know you can have me any way you want, Jax,” I say the absolute truth. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m right where I want to be in the arms of the only man I ever wanted.

“And I plan to take you in all the ways I desire, princess. Just not tonight,” he whispers into my ear and then nuzzles his soft whiskers back into the nook of my shoulder. “Now,” he kisses my exposed flesh again, “go to sleep.”

I clutch the blanket of security of his warm skin and close my eyes. It takes a while for the questions running through my head—what could have happened, what made Jax need my comfort—to settle down. His soft, shallow breaths feathering my skin and his relaxed, heavy body resting on mine tell me that he’s fallen asleep. So, I give into his comfort. I finally relax. And I too drift off to sleep.

I wake to the sun in my eyes, the smell of Jax under my nose, and a heavy arm around my waist. I’m facing him, and he’s still in that deep sleep. Other than complete tranquility, his face is absent of any expression. I lay gazing at his perfection. His strong jaw, full lips, thick neck, and tanned skin that covers layers of muscles.

He’s a breath stealer, a thought hog, and a pussy nagger. He consumes my ability to think, and with every look, every damn word he teases my raging womanly desires.

My hand burns to reach out and touch him, but I don’t want to wake him. I went to bed at eleven and, up until he woke me, I was sound asleep. Whatever went down last night obviously exhausted him, and he needs his rest. And sure, it’s driving me crazy not knowing what happened, what caused him to come seeking my comfort, but if he wanted me to know then he would’ve told me.

He’s full of secrets. Ones I get the feeling he’s been keeping for years. Ones he’s kept hidden from me. And I want to know them all. I want him to trust me. I want him to…Oh, shit. I think I’m surpassing the teasing stage of this relationship. I just might be falling for Jax Declan. I mean, I’ve always wanted him to notice me, but now that he’s looking, there’s more to it. There’s more to him. He’s not a challenge. He’s not the hot Declan brother I want to break. He’s a man that, given some time, I could find myself falling for.