Jane's Gift (4 page)

“See, that’s the thing. Our mothers came from the era of independent women going out into the workforce. For the most part, they looked down on those who stayed at home. But nowadays, women actually want to stay home with their kids, take care of their home and family. At least, most of the women in my old neighborhood did.”

The majority of her friends back in San Jose had been stay-at-home moms, perfectly satisfied with taking care of their families. Thankful they didn’t have to be out in the rat race with everyone else. She’d been so grateful at first, able to be with the kids while Stephen worked. But she’d lost herself a little bit. No identity beyond being a mom and wife, with no larger purpose in life.

“And so you made aprons for them?”

“I did.” She laughed and shook her head. “It sounds silly, but I found these vintage fabrics and embellishments and made the cutest aprons. Fashionable, not the ugly types you find in department stores or Walmart or wherever. And now I’ll stop talking because I’m just rambling.”

“No, you’re not.” He smiled, a sexy curve of lips that revealed straight, white teeth. Well, maybe not so straight. One top front tooth slightly overlapped the other, and she felt almost relieved to see that small flaw. Maybe he wasn’t as perfect as she thought. “Sounds like you were pretty passionate about it.”

She was quiet, absorbing what he said. She wouldn’t normally choose
passionate
as a word to describe herself. She didn’t actually think anyone she knew would use that word in association with her.

“I mean, you’re passionate about your kids. I saw that immediately.” He settled his hand next to hers and she watched, breathless, as he reached over and grabbed her hand. Her scarred left hand, the one she always hid. “But it’s nice to see you view yourself as not just a mother.”

“What do you mean? I
am
a mother.” She could barely get the words out, what with the way he held her hand so very gently in his.

“There’s more to you than just your children, though. You know?” He held their hands up in front of him, splaying his palm and fingers wide, which gave her no choice but to do the same. “All I see is a woman. Right now. With me.”

His hand dwarfed hers, his fingers nearly twice as long, and the heat from his palm burned right through her, down to her toes. He rubbed their palms together, once, twice, before entwining her fingers with his own. Her body trembled at the intimate touch.

Their gazes met, held. Electricity filled the air, arching between them. “Should you—”

“Yeah. I need to get back to work. Can I sit with you when I’m finished? Will you wait for me?”

“O-of course,” she stammered.

“Let me go refill this pitcher and I’ll be back, make sure you all have some water to drink. I can send the iced tea guy over, too, if you want.”

“I’m sure Mindy would like that.” How she could talk, let alone think, with him still clutching her hand, she didn’t know. But it felt so good. The simple gesture, the way his fingers curled around hers, the brush of his thumb on the inside of her wrist…

That rather intimate touch sent goose bumps skittering up her arm and she thought it might’ve been by accident. But no, then he did it again. A slow, subtle sweep of his thumb against the pulse point at her wrist.

She wanted to melt right there in her chair.

Who knew having her wrist touched would feel so blessedly wonderful?

Mindy chose that moment to show up at the table, standing across from them with a big grin on her face. She held three plates full of food, diner-waitress-style, with two of them stacked up her arm. She set them carefully on the table.

Jane removed her hand from Chris’s and he stood, nodding toward Mindy. “I’ll be back in a few with water and iced tea.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful. I’m thirsty.” Mindy sat, Sophia right next to her. “I just told the kids to get their little behinds over here. Once they settle down, I’ll get more plates of food.”

“Mindy…”

“Stop it right there. You know you never get a break. In fact, I was thinking while I stood in line—why don’t I take the kids tomorrow night so you and Chris can do something, just the two of you? Maybe you could drive into Oakwood and see a movie.”

The serene, innocent expression on her big sister’s face didn’t fool Jane for one minute. She was purposely trying to throw them together, and Jane was more than a little embarrassed. Especially since Chris lingered, seeing every bit of that interaction.

“I’m off tomorrow. That sounds like a good idea.” Chris turned to Jane, the expression on his face daring her to say no. “What do you think?”

How could she turn him down? How could she even
want
to turn him down? “As long as you don’t mind, Mindy.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Marty’s out of town and my kids would love the company.”

“Then it’s a date.” Chris touched Jane briefly on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, but when she gazed up at him, there was nothing friendly about the look in his eyes. They were hot, hungry, as they roamed over her. “A real one.”

“Yes. A date,” she said weakly, wondering what she’d just set herself up for. Make that what her
sister
had set her up for.

“A
date
?”

Jane turned to see Lexi standing before her, Logan at her side. Her expression was one of shock, a little bit of disgust, and a whole lot of confusion.

“Lex.” Jane said her name slowly, a gentle smile on her face. She needed to approach her daughter carefully. “What are you up to, sweetie?”

“You’re going on a date with him? Captain Nelson?” Lexi waved a hand in his direction. “What about Daddy?”

Jane cleared her throat, embarrassed that Chris was witnessing all of this. Guilt hung over her like a dark, threatening cloud. Lexi was right—this was happening way too soon after Stephen’s death. The entire room was probably listening and watching their argument. “Your daddy is—”

“Dead!” Lexi screeched. “He’s dead and gone and now it’s just us.
Just us
. That’s what you keep saying.”

“Honey, I know that’s what I said but—”

“No! You can’t forget Daddy. Ever!” Lexi ran off, her little feet pounding on the linoleum floor, and Jane turned to see both Mindy and Chris staring at her, eyes wide.

“I don’t think she’s as ready to move on as you are.” Mindy shook her head. “And I can’t believe you let her talk to you like that.”

“Please, you’re not helping.” Jane propped her arms on the edge of the table and rested her forehead in her hands. She hadn’t expected Lexi to hear her and Chris making plans.

She hadn’t expected such a negative reaction, either.

“Hey. We can put this off if you want—” Chris started.

“No.” Mindy spoke up, her voice firm, reminding Jane so much of their mother it was downright spooky. “You two should definitely go tomorrow. Lex will get over it eventually.”

“Are you sure, Jane?” Chris spoke low, his gaze locked on her face, and she gave a quick nod.

“I am.” But she
wasn’t
sure. She was scared out of her mind Chris might back out, freaked over her daughter’s temper tantrum.

Not that she would blame him. She was plenty freaked by it herself.

One part of her wanted to tell Lexi to buck up. The other part wanted to haul her daughter into her arms and cry right along with her. Guilt was such a terrible burden, but she was so tired of carrying it.

Tomorrow’s date might be a mistake. But she wanted to spend more time with the handsome fire captain. The way he looked at her, talked to her, touched her, it brought something forth that had been long dormant.

Desire. Need. And heaven help her, she wanted to explore it further. At least for one evening.

Chapter Four

Next time Chris saw Mindy Fenton, big sister of Jane Clark, he was going to give her a big hug and a bouquet of flowers. She deserved it for allowing him the opportunity to take Jane out on a bona fide Saturday night date sans kids.

Not that he minded the kids—okay, maybe they did make him sorta uncomfortable, especially after the outburst—but he wanted to get Jane alone so he could get to know her better. The Lexi episode had thrown him a major curveball, had made him waver. Was this something he wanted to pursue? A relationship with a woman recently widowed, a mother with children who still missed their daddy and were most likely working through issues he couldn’t begin to comprehend?

But then he remembered, the second he saw Jane last night at the recreation hall. Remembered how he’d turned into a fumbling fool. Almost spilling the pitcher of water in someone’s lap, tripping over the leg of a chair—he’d earned more than a few stares and inquiries of whether he’d had a few to drink.

Embarrassing, but also revealing.

He’d never reacted to a woman like that before, not even when he’d been a walking, talking hormone in high school. When he’d sat next to her, caught a whiff of her scent, saw a flash of her sweet smile, he’d grown dizzy. The urge to touch her had been overwhelming. And so he’d gone for it.

At first it looked like he’d made her uncomfortable, but she’d eventually relaxed. And he hadn’t wanted to let go of her hand, had only done so reluctantly because he needed to get back to work.

And then there’d been that big blowup with Lexi. She’d been so upset, almost inconsolable. He watched from a distance as Jane had talked to her, hugged her, held the little girl in her lap, and he wondered if he could ever be that good with children. If he even wanted to take on that sort of responsibility—caring for another man’s kids.

He had never considered it before. Could he handle a readymade family? And what the hell was he doing, thinking about families and kids and that sort of thing? He hadn’t even gone on a real date with her yet.

Clearly his attraction for Jane had messed with his brain.

After he finished his shift, he’d been almost afraid to join Jane, her sister, and their children. But Mindy had waved at him. The look on her face brooked no argument, so he’d moseyed on over.

He enjoyed every minute with them, too. Mindy had a terrific sense of humor and with enough encouragement, she’d gotten Jane to joke with her, got her to laugh. Mindy had even made Lexi laugh, too—no small feat. He’d smiled at the girl a couple of times himself, but she refused to budge.

It had been nice to see Jane relax and have a good time, especially since the last few times he’d been with her, she’d seemed so nervous and unsure of herself. He had assumed she would behave the same way that night, at least at first. He hoped he’d be able to calm her fears. Well, he wanted to do a lot more than that, but he knew that with this woman, he’d have to take it slow.

And he was surprisingly okay with that. He didn’t normally move slowly, but his gut told him to proceed with caution.

Now he had her in his car, sitting so close he could reach out and touch her. But he didn’t, instead keeping his hands firmly planted on the steering wheel as they headed down to Oakwood, the closest city to Lone Pine Lake. Though still small, it did have a movie theater, which Lone Pine didn’t.

“Anything in particular you’d like to see?”

“Um, I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I went to the movies.” She nibbled on her lower lip as they drove beneath a street light and he thought again how beautiful she looked. She wore a black turtleneck, a narrow denim skirt that hit her just above the knees, and black tights with black leather knee-high boots. Simple, yet the breath had been knocked from his lungs the second she’d swung open the front door.

He never thought turtlenecks were sexy before, but the way the clingy shirt hugged her breasts made him think otherwise. And the black tights and boots only emphasized her long, slender legs. Legs he could imagine wrapped tight around his hips while he…

Yeah, he needed to stop. Wouldn’t do him any good to imagine at the beginning of their date all the wickedly sinful things they could do at the end. He’d find himself in a state of semi-arousal for the rest of the night…and it would probably freak her out if she knew.

Not that she’d ever know.

“What do you like? Comedy, drama, action?”
Think about movies, not about taking Jane to your bed for the rest of the night.

“I wouldn’t mind a comedy. I’m in the mood to laugh,” she answered.

“Then a comedy it is. There’s one that just opened, saw the commercial for it. Looked kind of funny.”

“Sounds good.”

Pausing for a moment, he decided to go for it. “So how’s Lexi doing?” He glanced at Jane and caught the smile disappearing from her face. She glanced down at her lap, pursed her lips before she finally answered.

“She’s mad at me.”

Ah, damn. He didn’t want to come between this woman and her daughter. Had no clue if he was prepared to deal with something like this—let alone if he
wanted
to deal with it.

Hah. You have a clue. You
don’t
want to deal with something like this. It’s why you don’t usually get involved.

“If you feel better going back home, then maybe…” He had to make the offer, wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t.

“No.” She shook her head, smoothed her hair over her face. “I had a long talk with her today. I had a long talk with all three of my children, actually.”

“Is she angry at me?” He shouldn’t care. Really, he shouldn’t.

But he kinda did.

“No, not really. Her anger is all geared toward me.” Jane sighed, the soft sound wafting toward him, and it was full of so much weariness. And guilt. “She thinks I’m forgetting all about their father.”

“Jane—”

“No, it’s okay.” She shot him a tremulous smile. “She has to understand that I need some time on my own or with a friend like you. Going to the movies hardly compares to replacing her father.”

His ego deflated like a popped balloon. So she didn’t think of him in that way. They were just friends in her eyes.

Chris had looked forward to this evening, had felt like a kid about to take a girl out to the prom. Anticipation sizzled through his veins all day, and he’d been unable to focus. Unable to do anything but sit around and watch TV—and even then he couldn’t concentrate.

This sweet, shy woman had turned him into a bumbling, idiotic fool. Yet she didn’t feel the same way. He should be glad—she came with a ton of baggage. So why the fascination with her? The anticipation to see her?

He didn’t get it.

He parked near the theater and they got out of the car, walking across the vast lot at a brisk pace, since it was bitterly cold. Clouds hung low, clung to the mountains that surrounded them. A storm was predicted to start late in the night and linger throughout the next day.

Chris hung back, couldn’t help but admire Jane’s sashaying walk as she hurried ahead of him. Her hips swayed the slightest bit, her legs long and sexy in those lust-inducing boots. Her backside was nice, too, though she was still a little too thin for his taste. A couple more pounds and she’d be perfect.

Shaking his head, he hurried his strides, frustrated at his straying thoughts. She’d already declared her feelings. Chris wasn’t even sure why he’d agreed to this. Setting himself up to fail wasn’t his normal MO.

He rushed to catch the door for her before she got to it and she shot him an appreciative smile. The way it lit her eyes melted his hardened heart a little, even though he knew it shouldn’t.

The movie theater was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night before eight o’clock, and he figured the impending terrible weather had something to do with that. He approached the woman who sat behind glass selling admission tickets.

“You want popcorn?” Chris asked once he’d bought the tickets. They went to the snack bar together and he heard her soft gasp as she studied the menu on the wall.

“I can’t believe what they charge for a bucket of popcorn and a medium soda. No wonder I never go to the movies.”

“My treat, remember? So load up on all the popcorn, candy, and soda you want.”

“I ate dinner with the kids,” she admitted, but he caught her admiring the glass-encased popcorn machine. He saw the longing in her eyes.

“You know you want some popcorn. I’m craving Milk Duds myself.” He approached the counter and placed his order. A box of Milk Duds, a large Coke, and a large bucket of popcorn—extra butter.

Jane’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “You’re going to eat all that?”

“No, you’ll be helping me.” He grinned and handed her the large cup of soda, which she clutched with both hands. He stashed the Milk Duds in the front pocket of his jacket and grabbed the bucket of popcorn. “Let’s go. We’re in theater number four.”

As they walked together in companionable silence, Chris vowed then and there to keep this evening light, friendly. That’s what she wanted and there was no need for him to get his insides twisted. Simply enjoy her company and leave it at that.

Settling themselves a couple rows from the top in the recently converted theater, Chris checked out his surroundings. The complex had been switched to the popular stadium seating only a year ago. The seats were wide and cushiony, and the arm rests in between each seat actually lifted. If he allowed his thoughts to go in the direction he wanted, those lifting arm rests would’ve given him all sorts of ideas. They would’ve definitely made it easier to get closer to Jane.

But he wouldn’t go there. They were just friends, or whatever. He didn’t know what to call them.

Chris stashed the giant soda in the arm rest between them so they could share it. He hadn’t even asked if she minded sharing, which was presumptuous of him, but she didn’t complain so he didn’t bring it up. He offered her the popcorn and she took it, an embarrassed smile on her face.

Pulling the candy box out of his pocket, he set it on his lap, then shrugged out of the jacket, laying it on the folded chair next to him. When he caught Jane watching him, her eyes went wide, the expression on her face guilty. She looked away.

“What’s wrong?” He tore open the box of candy and popped a couple of Milk Duds. The chocolaty sweetness exploded in his mouth and caramel stuck to his teeth when he chewed—not the best date night candy, he realized.

Man. Why was he thinking like that? It wasn’t a date; she said so herself. It was a simple night of friends going to the movies. No biggie.

“I’m not used to seeing you in anything but your uniform,” she finally admitted, her voice small.

“Oh.” He glanced down. He wore jeans and a navy blue thermal Henley shirt; nothing too impressive but he didn’t look like a slob, either. “Do I measure up?”

She blinked once, twice, a little smile curving those luscious lips. “Do I have to answer that?”

“If you don’t want my ego destroyed, then yes, absolutely.” They were most definitely flirting, which surprised him.

Her smile grew and she nodded, the waves that framed her face bouncing a little with the movement. “Oh, you measure up.”

“Do I now? Hmm.” He scratched his chin, pretended to contemplate her, which wasn’t far off the mark, because he was most definitely checking her out.

And he liked what he saw.

Leaning in closer, he positioned his mouth right at her ear, caught sight of her earring. It was round, carved like a flower, and was a bright, ruby red. Sexy. He’d never thought earrings were sexy before. She mystified him. There was a fleeting sadness in her eyes that made him yearn—yearn to make her happy, make her smile and forget all her troubles.

“Well, I think you look amazing,” he finally murmured, breathing deep. The smell of her shampoo and whatever other hair products she used filled his senses. A heady scent that made him close his eyes and savor it.

She didn’t answer, didn’t even look at him as the lights dimmed, giving her the perfect excuse to focus on something else. The previews started and Chris figured they were in for a long haul so he focused his attention on her instead.

He didn’t stare, just watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her eyes widened as she stared up at the screen, taking it all in. She brought her hand to her mouth, dropped a few pieces of popcorn in. He caught the subtle swipe of her tongue across her lips once she’d finished chewing and he held in the groan that wanted to spill.

Sexy—and she didn’t even know it. The way she subconsciously tucked her dark hair behind her ear, how she smoothed her fingers over that little red earring, then slid them down to mess with the neck of her sweater… Damn but he wanted to get his hands beneath that sweater. Was it wrong of him to think like that? Especially since he knew he had no chance?

“You want some popcorn?” She offered him the bucket, her mouth in a tempting little pout.

The popcorn didn’t tempt him whatsoever.

“All right.” He reached over and scooped out a small handful, shoved it into his mouth. Chewed thoughtfully as she resumed her position, popcorn bucket in her lap, eyes locked on the giant screen.

Reaching over again, he grabbed another handful, his arm brushing hers, invading her space. She invaded his head, his thoughts, and he found it only natural to return the favor as much as possible.

Chris had always been about returning favors. He liked to give as much as he received.

…

“You’re staring,” Jane finally whispered to Chris, after enduring almost an hour of one of the worst movies she’d ever seen.

It didn’t help that the man sitting next to her distracted her so much she could hardly breathe, let alone think. His close proximity, the warmth from his body seeping into hers was almost too much to bear. He smelled so good, like spicy pine and clean, strong man.

“Sorry.” He offered an apologetic smile but didn’t look away, which made her nervous. She had a feeling he wasn’t sorry at all. That he enjoyed setting her on edge.

Every time he reached into that bucket of popcorn, she couldn’t help but notice his arms, his hands. He’d pushed up the sleeves of his dark blue thermal, revealing strong forearms. His skin was tanned, smooth, with a faint covering of black hair and the occasional vein that stood out in stark relief against his flesh.