Jake's Women (Wizards) (3 page)

4.
          
Frustrations

“There must be a way out.” It was the fourth or fifth time I had said it and Fluffy never agreed with me.

“Representatives have to stay here until the Conference is finished.”

“What conference?” I waved my hands at the whiteness surrounding us. It was hardly hyper-active out there.

“Meetings like yours and Alisandra are taking place by the tens of thousands. They will go on for weeks as various get-togethers, formal and informal, are organized by the Representatives.”

“I don’t see any gold-embossed invitations.”

“You are not particularly popular. Twenty seven invitations have come my way. Dragons are highly regarded,” he gave me one of his special grins.

“It’s the fire breathing isn’t it? That or your shiny iridescent scales.”

Fluffy laughed and I stepped back, expecting dragonfire to bounce across the floor. It was slightly disappointing when it didn’t.

“Old alliances are renewed and new ones are forged at the Conference. However, not many would trust to an alliance made with the Valhallans.”

It was my turn to laugh. “I can’t blame them for that. Look at the mess signing a simple contract with them got me into. Besides, I’m not their representative in the contract signing sense. They only wanted me here so they could locate all the worlds”

“You are being shunned because you represent the Valhallans, but many negotiations are taking place beyond our sight.”

I sighed and sat in the big comfy armchair I imagined beneath me. This place took some getting used to, but I was beginning to get the hang of it. Expect something to happen and it would. The problem was avoiding thinking about naked women. Because, well, once you get that sort of thought in your head, it can be difficult to get it out again.

“If I can’t leave before it ends, can we speed it up? Get everybody in agreement and move on?”

“Pigs flying are much more likely in this place.”

An enormous sow flew over us on angel wings, followed by a flock of piglets. I
stared as they vanished into the white. Fluffy waited until the last one was gone.
“You see what I mean?”

“There has to be a way. We just have to think of it.”

Staring into bright white nothingness for ages ought to have made my eyes go funny, but my eyes weren’t really there and it had no effect. I slapped the sides of the armchair and stood up, resolving to do something, no matter how stupid.

“I’m going to see Farolan and see if he has any ideas.”

“He was our enemy a few days ago.”

“I won’t hold it against him if he can get us out of here. Besides he was acting more than a bit guilty at my trial. I’m going to see if I can stir up that guilt enough to get him to help me escape.”

Fluffy looked dubious about the idea. Before he could speak there was an interruption.

“Wizard Morrissey of the Valhallans?”

I turned to find a vision of feminine loveliness approaching. She looked vaguely familiar and when she got close enough for me to see her eyes, I recognized her. Her name was Issus and I had seen her image in the Temple of Representatives some time ago.

“Issus of Zelphi,” I whispered in her native tongue. Those images had come with much more than simply a name tag.

A thoughtful stare into my eyes and a hint of a smile touched her lips. “You chose me at the temple, how prescient of you.”

From what I had learned at the temple, this woman was over a hundred thousand years old. Yet she looked more like twenty, except when I looked into her eyes. I realized I was staring; our eyes were locked onto each other.

Fluffy coughed.

Issus smiled and turned to him. “Greetings and salutations, Retnor, Representative of the Dragons. You have barely lived a heartbeat by the measures of your kind and yet your fame has spread across the multiverse. It is good to make your acquaintance.”

Fluffy bowed. “Issus of Zelphi stands in high regard with my people. Galator sends his greetings and apologizes for his absence.”

Issus gave Fluffy a salacious wink. “Galator and I have done much together in the cause of interspecies relations. Perhaps we might meet later to explore such opportunities in more intimate detail?”

Fluffy looked embarrassed. “Perhaps. However, I must leave as there is a party I must attend.”

The lying lizard
. He was running out on me again. He vanished without waiting for a reply.

Issus turned to me. “Young dragons are so easy to tease.” She slid her fingers down the top of her dress, drawing my eyes towards her full, firm and very attractive breasts. I wrenched my gaze from them using all my self-control.

“And human wizards?” I croaked. It could have been worse. Sometimes my voice comes out girlishly high when in the presence of attractive women.

“Not quite so easy, it would seem.” She laughed and her words sounded like water tinkling down the rocky side of a mountain. She was captivating. This was my first time in the presence of a full-fledged goddess and I felt unworthy.

“Why did you choose me at the temple?” she asked.

She sat on a padded bench and slid her body sideways until her head rested on her arm and her feet were tucked up on the bench.

“Accident. Fluffy told me to look at a Representative and you were closest.”

A glass of wine appeared in her hand. I sat down onto a cold marble bench. It was not the slightest bit like the chair I had imagined. She was playing with my perceptions. It was proving difficult not to smile.

“There are no accidents. All Representatives are equally close in the temple. What do you have to say to that, Wizard Morrissey?”

She sipped at her wine, which I imagined to be prune juice. For a second her lips puckered and then she took a longer, appreciative, sip.

“Did you guide my choice?” I asked.

A sprinkling of laughter. “I was not aware of your existence until the Conference started. I cannot remember a Conference where a Representative was hated so much before he had uttered a single word. You make history, Wizard Morrissey.”

“The Valhallans tricked me.”

“I doubt it was as simple as that.”

She rested on cushions that materialized so stealthily that for a second I thought they had always been there. This woman was a show worthy of applause. She leaned back and closed her eyes as if falling asleep. Her lips parted and I struggled with the sudden urge to kiss them.
Two wives and a mistress
I reminded myself. And me a good boy from the valleys; or so I told myself.

“What can I do for you?” I leaned back to increase the distance between us.

“You are not the fool you seem to be,” she muttered. Rolling over, she looked into my eyes and this time it seemed that she examined my soul. “It appeared unlikely until this moment, but it may well be true.”

She did something and I was a dog in heat. Juicy red spots appeared across my vision and I stood up in every sense. A step forward and her dress slid apart as a hidden seam parted. I fought against myself. It took every ounce of my willpower, but I succeeded. With considerable effort I managed to get out a few words.

“No, I am not a toy.”

As I turned away the feelings ebbed, leaving me feeling lost and disappointed.

Moments later, gentle fingers rested on my shoulder. Her perfume was waves breaking on the shore. A waft of her breath caressed my ear, sunlight through leaves.

“Forgive me, Wizard Morrissey. It was necessary to test you. What you seek lies within your grasp. You must conjure reality from illusion. We shall meet again when prophesy requires.”

It took me a few seconds to realize that her fingers were no longer touching me and I was alone.

The bench she sat on was still there and I dropped wearily onto it. I found her perfumed lingered. It reminded me of happy childhood days on Welsh beaches, looking for crabs in rock pools. I picked up her glass and tasted its contents. Prune juice, just as I had ordered.

When I first viewed Issus in the temple I knew she was something special, but the reality of her turned out to be so much more than I expected. I have to admit that lust is my Achilles heel. She used my weakness to test my strength. Why was I so disappointed I had passed?

5.
          
Attacked

A sound made me lift my head. Had Issus returned?

Someone strode out of the white and I recognized the bearded representative from the Diamond Worlds. He was dressed in armor and carried a broadsword. It was so incongruous that I laughed out loud. This place was just imagination, what harm could an imaginary sword do?

He stopped a few feet from where I sat with the glass of prune juice still in my hand.

“I am Jorda dan Bowe. One of the Knights of Justice you slew was my nephew and I demand satisfaction.”

I waved the glass at him, spilling juice over my fingers. “He attacked me. You had your chance with the Progenitors and you failed. I’m sorry he’s dead, but I had no choice in the matter.”

He stepped forward and slashed the sword at me. I dived from the chair in an instinctive response and rolled away. His blade cut into the chair and stuck. It took him a few moments to free it.

“I will kill you, Wizard.”

He waved his sword dramatically, but I couldn’t see what he hoped to achieve. This wasn’t real, it was just a dream and you couldn’t get killed in a dream.

I imagined a carpet over his head and let it fall. It was bulky enough to force him to fight his way out of it.

“You mock me, Wizard?”

I giggled. His tones of righteous anger reminded me of an old British comedy film. It was proving difficult to take him seriously.

“This is just a dream. We can’t be killed unless the Progenitors attack our real bodies. Can’t we just sit down and discuss this like gentlemen?”

I held out a hand in appeal. A malicious grin covered his face and he kicked the last of the carpet from his legs.

“You are new to this place, are you not?”

“First and last time. If I have anything to say about it.”

“Would you endure a strike from my sword as a gesture of goodwill?” His grin changed to an unhealthy smirk and I felt a twinge of doubt wrench my gut. I was pretty sure I couldn’t be hurt, but pretty sure is very different from being certain.

“Why would you want to waste your time?” Prevarication has long been my friend and I needed time to think. Unfortunately, Jorda had other ideas.

Stepping forward, he swung his sword at me in a roundhouse swing. I turned away, but not in time to get my arm out of the way. The shock of impact ran through me and for a second I exalted in being right. There was no pain. Then I screamed as agony arrived a few seconds late.

I stared at my arm in horror as I stumbled back. His smirk became an amiable smile and he made no immediate move to follow me. Cut by the blade, blood ran from parted flesh. I stared at shards of white bone and nearly fainted. I imagined it healed, but nothing happened

There could be no doubt, this fight was real and I was acutely aware that I was standing in a robe with a smashed arm and not a weapon in sight.

Holding my hand over the cut slowed the blood flow, but not by much. Already light headed, I couldn’t think well enough to formulate a plan.

“Do you still believe you cannot be killed here?” Jorda asked mockingly. “There is no magic in this place and a wizard without magic is nothing more than a little girl.”

I imagined his legs encased in concrete. He looked down and smiled.

“At last, a show of spirit from you. But I have already struck the fatal blow and somewhere your body is bleeding to death. As for this…”

The concrete shattered as he increased in size. He towered over me and I almost expected his next words to be
‘fee fi fo fum.’
He might well be able to smell my blood, but the Welsh are not the slightest bit English, so the next line would be denied him.

“What now, little wizard? Your face is white. Are you going to faint?”

I had to make him angry again, if I could. He was right about the blood loss and no amount of imagining the wound healed was making it the slightest bit better.

I bowed my head, closed my eyes and imagined him naked. Just for effect I added a long stemmed rose stuffed up a place where the sun doesn’t shine. When I opened my eyes and looked up at him, I discovered I had achieved my objective. Now if only I could survive the consequences.

He reached back and ripped the rose out of its soil and screamed in genuine agony. I hadn’t imagined a thorn-less rose. Angry bees buzzed around his nether regions and they stung when he waved them away. My imagination isn’t pretty, but it can be effective. As Jorda battled the bees I struggled to think.

The sound of buzzing stopped before I thought of anything else. Looking up, I found Jorda had regained his clothes and sword.

He struck down and hit the giant birdcage I imagined around me. His sword clattered against iron bars and flew from his hand to vanish into the white. Eyes red with rage he shook the cage and roared in frustration, but it was too strong for him to break in. I slumped to the floor, noticing for the first time that my blood disappeared as it hit the floor. This wound existed wherever my body was and I only had seconds to find a way to save myself. Magic didn’t work here, but it would where my body was, if I could get my consciousness back to it, I could save myself.

Ignoring Jorda, who fortunately was too filled with rage to imagine a spear to stab me with, I tried increasingly desperately to think. Issus’s words came back to me. She said I had to conjure reality from illusion. That must be the key. A ringing crash brought me out of my thoughts long enough to see that Jorda had created a massive battle-axe and was hitting the bars with it. Maybe they didn’t have spears in the Diamond Worlds? I was fortunate they didn’t appear to have machine guns.

Okay, I would try recreating the place I’d seen when being suffocated. Lying down, I created what little I remembered. A tank filled with clear fluid appeared around me and a mask grew over my face. My blood oozed and dispersed in the gunk. I tasted plastic.

Above me, Jorda held an enormous anvil. It must weigh at least a ton.

“Goodbye Wizard,” he said, though I heard his words the way you hear things underwater. Then he heaved the anvil up into the air and let go.

The bird cage was gone and I was somewhere else. Jorda’s words had been the tipping point and my mind had fled back to my body. He was gone and the only sound in my ears was low electric humming. Touching the magic in the space around me sent a sigh of relief through me. I was back in reality and only just in time. Before consciousness fled I healed my arm with the magic I’d learnt from Urda. Then I let the darkness take me.