Jailbird (4 page)

“Excuse me,” I hopped to my feet as tears
sprang to my eyes. I was angry with myself for marring such a
lovely day, but I also couldn’t stop the tumult of emotions.
Somehow I managed to find the bathroom. I splashed some water on my
face and took a few steadying breaths. When I was pretty sure I had
a better grip on myself, I wandered back to the porch. Dreams like
this one were very pretty, but they weren’t meant for me.

The other adults eyed me as I reclaimed my
seat but I waved their concern off and muttered something about too
much sweet tea. Charlie arched an eyebrow and his mouth seemed to
battle with a grin.

I barely paid attention to the conversation
floating around me. Instead, I watched the children play—wishing I
could be one of them.

“Come play tag with us,” Isabel seemed to
read my expression. It occurred to me that the only chains that
bound me now were those of convention.

“Honey, Miss Neena doesn’t want to play tag
with you,” Anjelita barely got the sentence out before I was down
the stairs and on the lawn with the girls.

“I don’t mind,” I quickly reassured her
before calling, “Not it.”

“Not it,” Charlie surprised me by tossing his
napkin on the table and standing. The amusement in his eyes told me
I hadn’t hidden my surprise well.

“Not it!” The girls cried at the same
instant.

“Uh-oh,” I pursed my lips and shrugged. “Now
how are we going to decide?”

“Thumb war,” Cara sighed as if it were
inevitable.

“Alright,” Charlie extended his hand. “Let’s
do this.”

After a few accusations of cheating and much
giggling, the first round of thumb wars was over and I found myself
face to face with Charlie, our hands locked and ready for battle. I
tried not to think about the incredible warmth spreading from his
touch.

“One, two, three, four; I declare a thumb
war,” we dutifully recited and the battle began. The girls’ cheers
were soon joined by Anjelita’s and Manny’s. It started slowly at
first, then next thing I knew I was jumping and dodging my entire
body trying to stay in the war. He was as bad as I, twisting and
maneuvering to get the edge on me.

“Stand still you little cheat,” he
laughed.

“You stand still, big cheat.”

My thumb was actually getting tired. It was
ridiculous. It was fun. I was determined to win.

“Neena,” Manny called my name. I looked up
and realized I’d been duped the second I felt Charlie’s thumb clamp
down on mine.

“That’s low, Torres. Real low,” I shook my
head disapprovingly.

“Don’t worry, Neena. He’ll pay for that one,”
Anjelita assured me.

“Thanks, man,” Charlie half-saluted him then
smiled wickedly at me. “Neena’s it.”

“Fine. If you can look yourself in the mirror
after this… fine,” I reached out and touched his arm before darting
off. “Tag, you’re it.”

“No fair!” He called after me before turning
on the two girls, who squealed with delight before tearing through
the yard.

I ran and played until my lungs screamed in
protest and I collapsed in the lawn to watch the clouds roll by
while I waited for my breath to even. Charlie dropped to his knees
beside me, grinning like a man who’d just learned how.

“You’re insane. You know that, don’t you?” he
laid back, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Yes, but life is more amusing that way,” I
smiled a little and closed my eyes. The sun on my face felt
delicious. I took a deep breath. Someone had cut their grass
recently, the sweet heavy scent hung in the air. “You know, I
thought I’d be bored to tears today. This has been fun.”

“Why did you think you’d be bored?”

“The whole day of rest thing.”

“So, you don’t normally take a day off?”

“Not normally, no.” I took another deep
breath. It all felt so good. Even the sweat on my brow felt good.
The almost palpable tug from the man next to me felt really
good.

It would be so easy to curl up at his side. I
bet I’d fit perfectly. I peeked over at him out of the corner of my
eye. He’d taken his Sunday shirt off; his white t-shirt clung to
him now. He had muscles that weren’t all that noticeable in the
button-up. In a white t-shirt, they begged to be traced with my
fingertip. Or my tongue. Either would do.

My breathing had evened out. That thought
made it pick back up again. I turned my head before he saw the
direction my brain was headed. Oh dear Lord, please let him not
know the direction my thoughts had headed.

A field of yellow stretched before me. In an
instant, my mind switched gears.

“Hey Charlie,” I began slowly.

“Hmmm?” he practically oozed contentment.

“Is that your field?”

“You mean the dandelion garden?” he laughed a
little ruefully. “Yeah, it’s mine.”

“Do you have any plans for it?”

“Eventually I’d like to rotate the horses to
it. I just haven’t had the time to do much with it lately.”

“If I sow some grass seed for you, can I have
the dandelions?”

“You want the dandelions?” He propped himself
up on one arm to stare down at me.

“Yes, please,” I turned and met his eyes so
he’d see I was serious. I hadn’t really counted on getting caught
in them again. His face seemed so close to mine. Everything in me
was screaming for him to move closer.

He licked his lips nervously and cleared his
throat. It seemed as if he was unsure of whether his voice would
quite work. “Take all the dandelions you want.”

“Thank you,” excitement welled up within me.
“Do you know where I could get some canning jars?”

“Sure. I have some in my attic.” He seemed to
have inched a little closer to me. Or was that just wishful
thinking?

“Do you need them? I mean, I could pay you
for them eventually.”

“I’m curious enough to know what you have in
mind that you can have them for free,” his voice had taken on a
low, silky tone. It seemed to stroke me right down the middle. I
swear my body ached to arch into that sweet, sweet voice.

“No, really, I can pay you. We’ll be
partners…. I’ll need to borrow a stove…” I struggled to form a
thought other than the one that screamed in my brain… kiss me.
Please kiss me. For the love of all things holy, kiss me.

My throat was dry. My chest hurt. He really
was leaning closer; it wasn’t just my imagination. His breath
seemed to catch. His eyes told me he was as confused and fascinated
as I.

“You can have anything you want,” his mouth
moved so close to mine I could feel it.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Cara’s voice startled us both
so much we jumped. I guess I jumped a little higher than he did,
because we cracked skulls and both fell back to the ground
clutching our heads.

“Son of a…” I stopped short of the expletive
I’d been about to let loose. It was good to know Dixon Correctional
taught me something useful in my time there… I’d picked up a few
extra words in my vocabulary over the years.

“Daddy,” Cara threw herself at her father,
her joy evident on her face.

“What, baby girl?” he couldn’t help smiling
back.

“Grandma and Grandpa are here.”

“Wow, that’s great.”

I could tell from his expression that it
wasn’t great. Nowhere near it.

“Go get your things rounded up, I’ll be there
in a minute,” he kissed her on the forehead and sent her along. As
he stood, he seemed much older suddenly.

“Don’t you get along with your parents?” I
tried to understand.

“I get along with my parents fine. Things are
still a little awkward with Julie’s folks, though.”

“Oh,” I frowned. “You still… see them?”

“They’re Cara’s grandparents. No matter what
their daughter did to us, I couldn’t take her away from them.”

“That’s very kind of you,” I was still trying
to process it. I didn’t like being reminded that he had once been
married. It was better to think the stork dropped Cara in his lap.
Why was I suddenly so possessive of him?

“I’m just trying to do the right thing by
everybody,” he seemed embarrassed by the compliment. “It’s no big
deal.”

He held a hand out to help me up.

“I’ll wait here,” I shook my head, not even
trying to cover the stark terror on my face.

“Don’t be silly, come on.”

“But what will they think if we go out front
together?”

“Maybe they’ll think that after five years of
divorce, Charlie finally found a beautiful woman who’s fascinating
enough to wake him up again.”

His honesty left me totally speechless. I
opened my mouth to tell him he had no clue just how interesting I
was but closed it again. I probably looked like a fish, sitting
there opening and closing my mouth.

“Please? For me? Don’t make me go face them
alone.”

Ugh. Those stupid eyes did it to me every
time.

“Fine. But if I find out later I have grass
stains on my back, I swear I’ll die of mortification and it’ll be
on your head, Charlie Russell.”

“Fair enough,” he laced his fingers through
mine. I started to bolt at the gesture of familiarity. He tightened
his grip and tugged me along.

It was hard to tell who they loathed
more—Charlie, or me. Introductions were made and everyone pretended
to be pleasant enough. But the animosity roiled in their eyes. Part
of me wanted to recoil from their anger. The better part of me was
filled with a righteous indignation of my own. My grip on Charlie’s
hand tightened and I straightened my shoulders.

They didn’t need to know I was a convicted
murderer who’d known their former son-in-law for two days. Let them
think I was a normal person madly in love with the man their
daughter had tossed aside. With a little luck, it would get back to
the one who’d let him go and she’d feel just a fraction of the pain
she’d caused.

My display might have been meant for Julie’s
parents, but it certainly hadn’t been missed by the Torres family.
Anjelita and Manny exchanged approving glances. There’d be no
living with them after this.

Chapter Five

“Don’t read too much into things,” I sighed
for what felt like the one hundredth time that evening.

“I’m just so happy,” Anjelita squeezed my
shoulders again.

“Don’t forget that less than a week ago, I
was just a vagrant you showed kindness to,” I snapped the last pea
and stood to stretch my aching back before moving to rinse the
bowl.

“Don’t keep hiding behind your past,” she
admonished, taking the bowl from my hands. “If you want to talk
about it, fine. But don’t hide behind it.”

Oh to be as sure as Anjelita. Maybe I could
be, if my life were as steady as hers.

“I have a past, too,” Anjelita frowned a
little, her eyes never leaving the potatoes she scrubbed.

Had she read my mind?

“Your expressions speak volumes.”

Dang, she did it again.

“Don’t think because this is the life you see
now, this is the life I’ve always had.”

“I’m sorry,” I felt a little ashamed to be
caught in my assumption.

“No, it’s okay. I want you to hear this. I
grew up in a little border town in Texas. My parents died when I
was young. My aunt took me in, but I hated her. She was such a
bitter, miserable woman. So, I ran away the first chance I got. I
did whatever I had to just to survive. And I do mean whatever.”

“Anjelita…,” I stilled when she placed her
hand on mine.

“Manny wasn’t much better off. Sure, he had
Mamá Torres, but his papá took off when he was young. He’s always
worked to support his family; when there wasn’t legitimate work to
be had, he found more creative ways to take care of them. And if he
wasn’t working, he was in a bar. He got into a lot of fights. Goofy
man spent more time in jail than out of it.

“Somehow we found each other in a sleazy
little bar in Oklahoma. At first, it was all about the sex. It was
really good sex.”

I’d never considered myself uptight. But if
there had been a hole nearby, I would have crawled in it at that
moment.

“But then Manny nearly got himself beat to
death when he picked a fight with the wrong person. Suddenly I had
something other than my own survival to fight for. I nursed him
back to health and we left that life... left and never looked back.
Now we have a family and a good church and this amazing life that’s
better than we ever could have imagined.”

“I’m glad it worked out for you.”

“We’d still be in that life if we hadn’t been
shown grace,” Anjelita smiled and went back to scrubbing
potatoes.

“So now you are showing me grace,” I
connected the dots in my mind. She was helping me because someone
had helped her once upon a time.

“Could be,” she handed me a potholder and
motioned for me to grab the chicken out of the oven. “Just remember
we all have a past and none of us are as pristine as we seem.”

“Do I even want to know what you are telling
her?” Manny appeared, his tall frame filling the doorway as he
leaned against it.

“Probably not,” I quickly sat the baking dish
down. It didn’t take long for heat to find its way through
threadbare potholders.

“No one’s ever going to think of us as
respectable if you keep telling them our sordid past, querida.”

“Lord help us if we ever start worrying about
being respectable.”

“Lord help us indeed,” he shook his head and
chuckled.

“So have you decided what you want to do
tomorrow?” Anjelita swatted away Manny’s hands and shoved the bowl
of potatoes at him with the instruction to make himself useful.

“I have,” I brightened at the thought.
“Charlie and I are going to be partners in a new venture.”

“Really?” Anjelita’s curiosity was piqued.
She called Isabel in for dinner then quickly turned her attention
back to the conversation.

“Charlie mentioned something about
dandelions,” Manny nodded. “It’s driving him nuts trying to figure
out what you’re up to.”