Authors: Jessie Keane
Some evenings there was ‘free association’ for the lags, a real luxury. Lily and Mercy would wander around the wing, chat to people, shower, read papers. Lily became a bit of a gym bunny, worked off some of her frustration that way, but more often she’d just sit and watch some TV with Mercy.
‘You killed your old man,’ said Mercy while they slumped there, inert.
‘Yeah,’ said Lily.
She had long since stopped protesting her innocence. And she had learned that her reputation as a killer gave her a certain kudos inside; it made others keep their distance. She wasn’t about to let that small advantage go, not even in a private conversation with a friend.
‘And you got kids with the man,’ said Mercy.
‘Yeah. Two girls.’ Lily showed Mercy the photo of her and Oli and Saz; all together, grinning happily. Leo had been behind the camera. She’d shown Mercy the picture before. This was a little ritual of theirs; it comforted them both.
Mercy looked at it. ‘They’re so beautiful. I got kids too, you know.’
‘Yeah, you said.’
Lily glanced at Mercy. Tears were snaking down her cheeks, dripping off her chin.
Lily reached out and squeezed her hand.
There was nothing she could say that would make Mercy hurt less, nothing at all.
‘Jesus! Your lip’s cut, Oli. What happened?’ asked Lily the next morning.
She’d made some phone calls and had been sitting in the kitchen alone, enjoying—or trying to—a solitary cup of coffee, and wondering what the hell else was going to kick off today. She’d slept badly again; the dreams still plagued her and she wondered if they always would. Then Oli walked in, her hair wild and her eyes looking as if she hadn’t slept in a month. She was wearing dungarees and a flowery top—and her lip was cut.
Lily started off her stool, alarmed. Oli made
calm down
motions with her hands, and helped herself to a coffee.
‘I fell over on the driveway,’ she said with a half-smile. The smile quickly became a grimace as a spasm of pain lanced through her mouth.
‘It looks awful. Does it hurt?’ Lily was peering closely, wanting to do something to help. ‘Did you put anything on it?’
‘Yeah, some cream. Look, what can I tell you? I drank a
bit too much with Jase last night and after he dropped me off I stumbled and fell. It’s nothing.’
It didn’t look like nothing to Lily. And what was Oli talking about? She had heard Oli’s car coming up the drive last night, not Jase’s flashier, faster motor. Oli was lying to her. But the closed, obdurate expression on her daughter’s face made her drop it.
‘Did you know Saz is back?’ she asked instead.
‘God, yes. Saw her last night. She wasn’t meant to be coming back until today.’
Lily’s mouth twisted. ‘Your Uncle Si phoned her and gave her the glad news. So she cut the honeymoon short. Couldn’t get in of course because we’ve changed the security arrangements. She gave me a right earful.’
And came at me with a knife,
added Lily silently.
Would Saz really have done her damage? She wasn’t sure, and that hurt. She thought of all the grinding, horrible years inside, of how she’d dreamed one day of seeing her girls again. She’d known that Si and Maeve would taint them if they could, would try their hardest to turn them against her. She’d managed to get Oli onside. But Saz…Saz wasn’t Oli. Saz took up a position and defended it to the end. If Saz was your enemy, then she’d probably
stay
your enemy until her last breath.
But I’m not her enemy,
thought Lily with piercing sadness.
I’m her mother.
‘Saz…took it all very hard,’ said Oli, frowning. ‘You know how close she was to Dad.’
Yeah, Saz had been the daddy’s girl of the family. Always hanging on Leo’s coat-tails, sitting on his lap when he was at his desk in the study, shooting clays with him in the grounds, being twirled around by him as he threatened to dunk her in
the fish pond, both of them laughing and wrapped up in each other. Saz and Leo. Funny how things divvy up in families. Saz and Leo, Oli and Lily. Two different teams occupying the same camp.
Yeah, Oli was the easy part,
thought Lily.
Saz is something else.
But she could do this. She told herself that, over and over again. She could do this. Believing it was half the battle. Doing it was the other half. And she would.
‘So what’s on the schedule today?’ she asked Oli.
Oli shrugged and frowned. ‘Dunno.’
Something had really taken the wind out of Oli’s sails. Lily waited, but nothing else was forthcoming.
Oli sipped gingerly at her coffee and sighed. Then she glanced up at her mother. ‘Think I’d better hang around here in case Saz does any more kicking off.’
‘Okay. But that’s unlikely, ’cos I’m going out.’
‘She’ll want to change the codes back again,’ fretted Oli.
‘She can’t do that,’ said Lily. ‘Unless you agree to it.’ She neatly sidestepped the fact that
Oli
had already changed the security codes without Saz’s say-so.
‘She’ll try.’ Oli looked uneasily at Lily. ‘This is really awkward for me, you know. I don’t want to upset Saz. But…I think she’s wrong about you.’
‘I’m pleased you think that.’
‘I do.’ Oli’s face pinkened. ‘I…I love having you back. I don’t believe you’re a bad person. I
can’t
believe that.’
Lily smiled softly. Those were the sweetest words she’d ever heard from Oli.
‘But,’ said Oli with a frown, ‘if I side with you against Saz…well, I can’t do that. We’re really close, Saz and me. We had to get that way, I suppose, after it all kicked off with
you and Dad. I’m…I’m really worried that I’ll lose her, over this.’
‘I don’t think you’ll lose her,’ said Lily, trying to reassure. ‘She loves you.’
Oli gazed at Lily. ‘She loved you once, too.’
Lily couldn’t answer that; she felt too choked up. Instead she swallowed and said: ‘Look, if Saz tries to alter anything, talk her out of it. You can do it. Convince her that all she’ll succeed in doing is making a prat of herself.’ Lily had already had a word with Sunstyle Securities, telling them that if anyone tried to alter things, they were to check the new password, the new secret address, security codes,
everything,
with Oli or her, no one else, at which point they would quickly discover that person had no authority to act.
So they had that covered. And now Lily was going to have a day out. First into town to get her hair and nails sorted, and then on to a lunch appointment to get something else sorted. Something that could maybe solve the mystery of who killed Leo.
He was waiting at the restaurant. As she came in and the maitre d’ showed her over to one of the best tables, by the window overlooking the river, he stood up and Lily thought:
Yeah, he’s just as hot as he ever was. Maybe even more so.
She was glad now that she’d made an effort today, dressed in her new sharply tailored and scoop-necked navy Gucci suit and high-heeled gladiator sandals, and carrying a quilted Chanel bag. Her naturally golden-blonde hair was freshly highlighted and fell in soft, shining waves onto her shoulders, her make-up was light but faultless, her gel nails gleamed; she felt good for the first time in…oh, twelve years. And she looked good too. The expression in Nick O’Rourke’s eyes confirmed it.
Lily was seated, and Nick sat back down too. They looked at each other.
‘Lily King, you look fucking wonderful,’ he said in that deep, gravelly voice of his.
‘You too,’ said Lily. It was true enough. He did look great. Black suit, sharp white Turnbull and Asser shirt, discreet tie.
Black hair trimmed and tamed into gleaming submission. Clean-shaven.
Strong
face. Dark and swarthy skin. Perfect teeth revealed in a smile. His eyes swept over her, settled on her lips—as if he was thinking of kissing her—and then they lifted to meet her eyes. Oh, he was more than handsome. Distinguished. The waiter came with the wine Nick had ordered, took their food order, and left. Silence fell between them.
‘So…why the summons?’ asked Nick, his eyes resting on her face. ‘I thought I was
persona non grata
to you at the moment. After all, you threw my safe flat back in my face. And when I told you that you were being stalked up and down Bond Street, you seemed more angry at me than at that little fucker Tiger Wu.’
‘What’s happened to Tiger Wu?’ she asked, curious.
‘Oh now come on. Do you
really
want to know the answer to that?’
No. She didn’t. Lily took a sip of wine. It was like nectar. She thought of the contraband hooch she and her mates had supped in prison, real gut-rot stuff. Everything was so fresh, so new. So
wonderful.
The fine restaurant, Nick sitting there looking so damned irritated and so
hot.
No, she didn’t give a stuff about what had happened to Tiger Wu.
She remembered that Leo used to bring her here, back in the day. Pop stars and celebrities came and went, table-hopping and being feted by the chef and the owners. The diners way back then had been affluent, civilized. They still were. But dark, brooding Nick was sitting opposite her now, not big, ebullient Leo. The background was the same, the situation completely different.
‘I had to talk to you about something,’ said Lily, wondering how best to broach the subject.
‘Well that makes a change. Usually you don’t want to talk to me at all.’
‘It’s serious.’
Nick opened his mouth to speak, but the waiter was back. They ordered and the man departed. Nick took a taste of the wine and sat back, watching her expectantly.
‘Okay then. Go on,’ he prompted.
‘Julia.’ Lily took another gulp of the wine. Suddenly, her mouth was dry. ‘Julia…and Leo.’
Nick’s gaze was very steady on her face, his eyes unblinking. He pursed his lips and nodded his head, very slowly. ‘I didn’t think you knew about that,’ he said at last.
Lily let out a breath. ‘I didn’t. Until yesterday. What—you mean you
did
?’
Nick was silent for a beat. Then he said: ‘I divorced her as soon as I found out about it.’
Lily stared at him. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘For what? Leo was the first, but I’m sure there would have been others.’ He was twirling the stem of his glass around on the table.
Lily looked at his left hand.
No wedding band,
thought Lily.
Should have noticed that earlier.
‘Julia was in love with herself,’ he went on. ‘One man—or even two—was never going to be enough for her. She had to have constant admiration and attention. It gets wearing, let me tell you. Very wearing indeed. And at least,’ he added with a tight smile, ‘I did the civilized thing. I didn’t just blow her bloody brains out.’
Lily looked at him steadily. ‘You really think I did that? Blew Leo’s brains out?’
‘Only under extreme provocation. And Lily, if you didn’t, who did?’
‘Now let’s have a think.’ Lily paused and made a great play of looking deep in thought. ‘Oh yeah. You?’
Nick threw back his head and laughed. ‘God in heaven, what an imagination you’ve got there.’
‘You’ve got to admit, him boffing your wife’s a pretty good motive,’ said Lily.
‘I suppose it would have been, had I given a toss either way by then.’ Nick poured them both a little more wine. ‘Which, by the way, I didn’t. Julia might have been wonderful to look at, but I’m telling you, the woman was boring as tits.’
‘You must have loved her once.’
‘Yeah. I suppose I must have.’ And he looked at her so intently that Lily started to feel awkward, as though she had missed something important.
‘And there was no jealousy about it?’ she asked. ‘None at all?’
‘Not on my part,’ said Nick, his dark eyes boring into hers. ‘How about yours? You sure you didn’t know about Julia and Leo at that stage?’
‘No, I was pretty much in the dark,’ said Lily with a tight smile, ‘about Julia, and about all the others. You did
know
there were others, didn’t you?’
Nick nodded slowly. ‘Leo was a player. Everyone knew about Adrienne. And there were others, a
lot
of others. Leo liked variety. I thought you understood that when you married him.’
‘No,’ said Lily, ‘I didn’t. Stupid, uh? I thought it was going to be just me and him. No fireworks, no big deal, just him and me and the girls—a team. How barmy was that?’
‘I think he really loved you,’ said Nick.
Lily gave him a sceptical look. ‘He really loved me, but he had to screw a whole collection of tarts?’
Their starters came. Smoked salmon for Nick; grilled halloumi cheese for Lily. She suddenly felt as though eating would choke her.
Lily picked up her fork, looked at the food, then up at Nick and said: ‘You know how I felt when I realized he was boffing Adrienne? Do you remember Princess Diana, getting out of that carriage and floating up the steps of St Paul’s in that fabulous Emmanuel dress? Well, you don’t know or care about dresses, but I do, and I just remember her emerging from that carriage like a chrysalis turning into a butterfly, all the creases coming out of the silk, her veil lifting in the breeze. I couldn’t get over how stunning she was, how happy, how she thought she was marrying a one-woman man and everything was going to be fine. And then of course she realized she hadn’t married that at all. That’s how I felt. That the life I had with Leo – and okay, it was never hearts and flowers, never the big romance, but that was okay – was all a lie from start to finish. That it happened to some other woman, some other poor, dumb, gormless bitch who had all these ridiculous happy-ever-after dreams in her
stupid
head.’ She threw her fork down with a clatter. ‘He made a fool out of me. Everyone laughing behind my back. Poor old Lily, she don’t know her arse from a hole in the ground.’
Nick leaned forward, eyeing her intently. ‘Nevertheless,’ he said flatly, ‘Leo loved you. Prized you beyond all those others. Some men…look, some men just can’t hack monogamy. Leo was one of them. Oh, he wanted the little woman at home, the comforts, the kids…but he wanted more, too.’
Just boys letting off steam.
That was what Reba Stuart had said. Now Nick was telling her the same thing. Only she wasn’t buying it.
‘I can’t believe you’re sticking up for the bastard,’ she snapped, pushing her plate away. ‘Not when he shafted your own
wife.
’
There was bleak humour in Nick’s eyes now. ‘Do you know how long I knew Leo King?’
Lily nodded. ‘You met in primary school.’ Leo had told her that, many times.
‘That’s right. We did. We were friends ever since then. Whereas Julia…oh, I knew her for about two years. I met her properly at your wedding to Leo, in eighty-seven, actually, although I’d seen her around before that. And yes, she was stunning. But, sadly, she knew it. I was soon disillusioned with her. And when she started playing away, well, that was it.’
They had both been cheated on. Nick had been cheated on by both his friend
and
his wife. That was hard to take, surely? But Nick hadn’t been fitted up –
she
had.
‘I can’t eat this,’ said Lily, feeling sick inside because it was all such a mess. She had never truly loved Leo, and now she was thinking that he must have sensed that, and taken comfort in the arms of – possibly dangerous – strangers. And if that was the case, then Leo’s death really was down to her; she hadn’t shot him, but her lack of real warmth for him had maybe put him in harm’s way.
‘Yes you can,’ said Nick, starting in on the smoked salmon. ‘Leo’s dead, but we’re alive. And that’s bloody good food going to waste there, by the way.’
Lily managed a slight smile. Then she thought of Saz waiting at home, Saz who was so mad at her, and how she had been tipped off by that reptile Si. Her smile died.
‘What now?’ asked Nick, buttering brown bread.
‘Saz came back early. Si told her Oli was letting me stay.’
‘Jesus God.’ Nick sat back. ‘Well, even more reason to keep your strength up. To face the battles ahead.’
‘Oh thanks,’ said Lily sourly, ‘for nothing.’
‘What about Oli? Is she really onside now?’
He was eating again, as if neither of them had a care in the world. Lily wished that was true.
So
much.
‘I think so. Although it’s tearing her in half to have to take sides with me against Saz. She hates it. Oli was always going to be the easy one,’ said Lily with a sigh, drinking more of the wine.
‘And Saz was always a little madam,’ he said. ‘Like Leo in that. Always has to be centre-stage. Just like him.’
‘She detests me,’ said Lily quietly.
Nick put down his knife and fork. ‘She does. For now. That’s what I mean about the battles, girl. You’ve got a fight on your hands, and you don’t start a fight from a position of weakness. So eat up.’
‘Oh Jesus, what is it with men and their sodding stomachs?’ groaned Lily, but she pulled the plate back towards her and, slowly, she began to eat.
They were leaving the restaurant when it happened. Anticipating a liquid lunch, Lily had caught a cab there, and Nick had a minder with a Bentley. They were just beside the car when
another
car screeched through the car park at speed, and there were noises; it was several seconds before Lily realized that someone was firing a gun. Everyone scattered. The heavy pushed Nick, Nick grabbed Lily, and they all ended up in a tangle of arms and legs on the tarmac as the car sped away and was gone.
It happened so quickly and was finished so fast that Lily wondered if it had really happened at all.
The minder was back on his feet, staring after the car. Lily was flat on her back on the tarmac, and Nick was on top of her.
‘You all right?’ he said against her mouth.
Lily looked up at him in a daze. His first instinct had been to protect her, covering her body with his own. Yet, she reflected again, if he thought, if he truly
believed
she’d killed Leo, he should hate her guts.
‘I’m fine. You can let me up now,’ she suggested shakily.
‘Yeah.’ Nick gave her one last searching look, then took his weight off her and got back to his feet, pulling her up after him.
‘Fucking
hell,
’ he said as he saw what had happened to his car.
The heavy was looking at the Bentley too. All down one side, it was pockmarked with holes. Lily sagged against the car bonnet and wondered if she was going to pass out.
Drive-by shooting.
You read about these things happening. You just never thought in a million years that they were going to happen to
you.
‘You sure you’re okay?’ Nick was asking her, still holding her, rubbing his hands slowly, soothingly over her upper arms.
She nodded dumbly.
‘Sure?’ He was very close, gazing at her with intense concern.
Suddenly, Lily felt choked up. The last person to show her such consideration had been Jack, but that had been so different; an offer of friendship and support, nothing more. This was something else. As Nick held her close she felt a shudder of molten desire rip right through her, as fierce as a spring tide. She sagged against him, allowed herself the
luxury of being held and reassured, enfolded in his strength. It was not what she was used to. It was…
wonderful.
‘Did you catch the plate?’ he was asking the heavy.
‘Yeah, but it won’t be no use,’ said the man-mountain glumly, still eyeing up the damage to the car. ‘Thing’ll be false, and the car was an old shit-heap, you know what that’s for.’
Nick knew. ‘Didn’t see who…?’
The heavy shook his head.
‘No. Me neither,’ said Nick grimly. ‘Call up the boys, get another motor here and get the car towed soonest. Come on, Lily,’ he said to her, very gently. ‘Let’s move away.’
‘Were they after you?’ she asked him unsteadily, her mouth dry and her voice cracked with the tangled aftermath of fear and arousal.
Nick stared at her for a beat. ‘Probably,’ he said.
Liar,
she thought.