Jaded Tides (The Razor's Adventures Pirate Tales) (2 page)

I fell to my knees in front of him and shouted, “Yes!” again and again as he kissed my face from cheek to cheek, then my forehead to my chin, and then he swept me on top of him on the blanket. His hands pulled me so tightly against him that I began to fear what our first time together might be like. I was afraid the passion he’d suppressed for so long would leave me as no more than a sail battered by a hurricane. I panicked when I felt his hands sliding inside the back of my breeches and gathering my shirt between his fingers. I gasped and jumped off of him.

“What are you doing?”

He leaned upon one elbow and smiled at me. “I believed we’d crossed a threshold tonight, lass. I suppose I should have asked for your permission before I tried to remove your clothes.” He laughed.

“I don’t want to ruin this perfect evening, but I’m not ready yet. I thought I was, but I’m not. I promise, when I am, you’ll be the first to know.”

I knew immediately by the time I was back at the Chandler’s estate and tucked away in my bed, I’d regret this decision. In the end, waiting until I knew the time was right far outweighed a momentary leap over a line in the sand that I could never cross back over. Making love had now become a decision I wanted to make with the greatest of care. Having thrown myself at him before, only to be rejected, I didn’t want to ever rush things with him again.

Rasmus, the ever-patient, ever-strong and constant, wouldn’t be shaken by this rejection. I’d seen him at his best and at his worst and every way in between, and never once did I see any mood or emotion concealed. He’d have never tried to manipulate me through false sentiment or behavior to make me feel I’d disappointed him. I’d thought for a moment I had when he sat up and fell silent, staring at the lagoon but almost instantly, I knew the guilt was mine to bear. He carried on as usual, snuffing out the fire and gathering our things to head for home. I turned and looked back at this beautiful setting and imagined our little cottage. It didn’t take long before I could walk through the door.

Within a week, our quaint home near the beach was well under construction. All of the repairs to the Demon were complete, and she was like a shiny piece of gold. Rasmus had made some modifications, but for the most part, after having been careened, cleaned, and all signs of battle now nothing more than a memory, she was the finest lady in the harbor and looking for a capable crew.

After the battle with the
Thunder Cay
, some of the younger hands moved on to find work on land. They weren’t pirates as we knew pirates to be, and they certainly weren’t looking for a fight. Rasmus was a captain, not a jailer, and he still to this day refused to name himself as such. Piracy wasn’t in his blood; it came by him through an injection of betrayal and fate, and a man this mighty and absolute wasn’t going to be defined by his circumstances forever.

Unfortunately, I believed he loved me too much to deny me anything I wanted…I wanted the sea. I wanted to explore every aspect of discovering where it would take me, and most of all, I wanted to bring down every name in Barclay’s secret catalog of shame, and I wanted to do it with the man I loved.

Rasmus held tightly to the book and kept it hidden away. I believed he was afraid I’d go running off alone after them, but that wasn’t going to happen. I struggled each day aboard the Demon not to seek it out and memorize every last ship and captain, as well as the young women. Nearly three months had passed since we took down
Thunder Cay
, and I was aching to sail and get on with our mission. Rasmus wanted us married as soon as possible and refused to set sail with me again until I agreed to the doctoring and keeping what was now my short, scruffy blond head and every other part of me concealed. He also reminded me that I was never to enter his cabin alone. Having not yet felt the man’s love upon my body, I easily agreed.

Two

FALLING STARS

On the morning of the twelfth week, everything that had been incomplete in all of our lives finally came to fruition. The girls were thrilled with my decision to marry Rasmus, and plans were quickly made for our wedding. We hadn’t yet set a date, but the understanding that we couldn’t bear to withhold our desires for each other much longer pushed us forward, and we agreed we’d marry within the week. Pastor Chandler was delighted and invited Rasmus and I to take an empty room in his boarding house. Rasmus politely declined, stating he had other plans for us, as well as for our refitted home on the sea.

In what I believed to be his pride and honor at what we’d all accomplished, Rasmus invited us all down to the ship for a gathering on what was now his new magnificent vessel. The crew was almost complete, and for this joyous occasion even Pastor Chandler and his wife, Mae, came aboard to bless the ship. I’d even allowed the girls to choose my clothes, and I went aboard for the first time disguised as a young woman.

I wore a fresh white cotton peasant blouse and a black leather bodice. Miranda was relentless in tying it tightly and even pawed at my breasts to plump them up as best she could through my twists and swats. I’d been eating very well now for three months, and that new garment accentuated the places that had filled out and now gave me curves where there were straight lines before. As a result, I had taken to wearing the baggiest slops I could find aboard the ship, as well as my binding.

The girls had chosen a long, wavy dark wig for me to wear as a disguise. I’d never seen myself with dark hair before and it was a quite uncomfortable yet necessary accessory. I even wore the skirt my cousins picked out, but I insisted on wearing my favorite cavalier, now adorned with a soft plume in my favorite color, green.

“Oh, Ivory, isn’t this all so exciting?” Miranda asked, twirling in her own new dress.

“Miranda, my goodness, you’re making me dizzy,” Keara chided, pushing her out of the mirror.

“Well it is. Even you have to admit we’ve never been to two celebrations in one week. Oh, and Ivory, please thank your betrothed for these lovely gowns,” Miranda swooned, squeezing back into the mirror to straighten her skirt and admire her tiny waist again.

“Your wedding gown is beautiful, Ivory. You’ll be a lovely bride. You chose well,” Cassandra said, and she ran her hand over the silky fabric of my gown as it lay untouched in the box it was delivered in. “Have you decided on the flowers?”

“You pick them, Cass. I’m not very good at such things. By the way, you picked the gown remember?” I smiled with a wink and asked, “Well, how do I look?” while at last taking my place in the mirror.

“No one will suspect. They’ll simply believe you’re one of Ivan Razor’s sisters; perhaps a twin,” Cassandra said, reaching around and tying a simple green ribbon close around my exposed neck. “Will anyone know you are Rasmus’s bride-to-be?” she whispered in my ear, to which I shook my head slightly and lowered my eyes.

“Shall we then, ladies? I believe our carriage is waiting,” Keara said in a horribly-done hoity English accent.  

Once we were all aboard, we raised our cups and Rasmus gave a toast that both surprised and awed me as I stood next to him on the main deck and listened. He appeared in awe of me as well when he first laid eyes upon me dressed as a woman. The dark wig appeared to startle him, although he winked in approval before speaking. “I’d like to welcome ye all aboard this mighty, and dare I say lovely, lady and thank you as well for your hard work, faith and patience. I dedicate this ship to those who’ve fallen in her service.  Since, in my eyes, she’s no longer a demon of the seas but a fine lady, I hereby christen her…with the pastor’s blessing of course…” Rasmus said and nodded to Pastor Chandler, “The
Lady Jade
.”

With a rousing cheer and the clanging of tankards and cups, she was so named and so dedicated. Rasmus encouraged his guests to take a tour and Master Green led the way. I watched and smiled when I spied Green speaking to Cass about the repairs they’d made. She took his arm and was led off and about the ship, followed by the rest of the guests. The crew all moved to their stations, and Rasmus and I walked to the quarterdeck where I stood facing him, leaning back against the gunnel as the sunset rested on my bare shoulders.

His eyes bore into me, and I could feel them burning through my new clothes. He took a swig from his tankard before setting it down on the deck and smiled before stepping forward to relieve me of mine. He leaned over me and placed his big hands on the gunnel on either side of me and rested his weight on them as he bent forward at the waist to kiss me.

He looked so incredibly handsome this evening. His hair was tied back tightly into a ponytail, and it had grown quite a bit since I’d first laid eyes on him. His cheeks were now closely shaven and his beard neatly trimmed. He appeared to be wearing new clothes as well, and he smelled like bergamot essence with a hint of vanilla. Having never smelled anything but sweat and sea water on him, my head was swimming in it. His black shirt was open to his chest and clung to him in the breeze coming off the water, from his shoulders down to where his belt sat low on his hips.  

“Are ye happy, little Razor?” he whispered as he brushed his soft red whiskers against my cheek and his sweet, warm breath caused gooseflesh to rise on every inch of my skin.

“Yes, yes, I’m very happy,” I answered over a sigh, to release the swoon his very presence had induced.

“All I want is for you to be happy.”

“Razz, what is it that throws two people against each other like this?”

“Why, it’s love, of course.” He continued leaving soft, whiskered kisses up and down the sides of my neck and shoulders, alternating as his hands stroked the length of my arms.

“But, what makes a person love another?” I asked.

He suddenly stopped and pulled back, still holding me by the arms, but now his eyes explored my face and then rested upon mine.  “Explaining why I love ye would be like counting all of the stars in the sky, lass. Your voice, your spirit, the way ye look at me like you’re about to take my head off, and even the way ye smell after a hard day’s work.” He chuckled at my crinkled nose at his last comment and continued, “Most of all, the way ye protect those girls a’ yours. I’ve never seen anything like it and most likely won’t ever see it again in this Godforsaken world. Not that ye need it, but I want to wrap myself around ye and protect you like ye do them. Oh, and then there’s this.” As he spoke, he drew his finger from behind my ear, down over my shoulder and across my collar bone, sending shivers of desire and fear over every inch of my skin; even the parts he hadn’t touched yet.

“I believe there was a place carved out in this world just for us. People like you and me were bound to find each other.” He breathed on my cheek and kissed it.

“What do you mean, people like us?” I asked, sliding my hands over his chest, feeling his heated body through his shirt.

“We share all of the same secret places in our hearts, love.”

He leaned in until his face was next to mine and his breath at my ear, when he again brushed his beard across my cheek until his mouth found mine and pressed against it. His kisses were tender and short at first.  Then, gradually, I kissed him back, meeting his pace and depth, and he pushed onward until his hands slid from the gunnel inward and pressed flat against the back of my leather bodice. The warm evening air mixed with the rum, and his moist, full lips turned my thoughts to dreams and my body to jelly. The ache and want for him came upon me so fast now that it was as if my poor body was saying, “What are you waiting for?”

His hands moved from my back to my hips as his kisses increased in intensity and his tongue swirled against mine. I leaned back and clamped my hands down on the rail to keep from collapsing under his weight, as well as from my own weakening legs. His breathing was deep, and the sounds of his wanting were soft like a wolf stalking its prey. His hands slid down my hips and then around behind me, taking a firm hold of my ass.

I didn’t fight him. I couldn’t fight him anymore. I pushed every thought of denying this wonderful man who loved me out and away, as the darkness fell in stars all around us on the bay, shrouding us from view. I let go of the gunnel at last, and my fingers climbed his massive arms like talons, digging, kneading, and grasping them tightly as I pulled him onto me against the rail.

Ever so slowly, those hands which held me firm against him slid beneath my skirt and under my thighs, gripping them firmly. Suddenly, he picked me up and sat me on that rail and slid himself between my legs. I gasped as he held me tightly against the rising heat of his desire and then pulled my legs up and over his hips as he worked himself hard against me through his clothes. I locked my ankles at his waist and joined his rhythm, as his hold on me grew rougher and tighter. He was breathing so fast and pressing himself so hard against me that I was afraid he’d knock me off the gunnel and into the harbor.

“I love ye so much I can hardly catch my breath,” he whispered.

“Razz,” I panted, barely catching my own. “We have to stop. It’s too dangerous out here,” I whispered, and he quieted me fast with his lips again, sliding that eager tongue back into my mouth. Between being completely consumed by his kisses and the relentless grinding, I began to feel something alien and marvelous building inside of me, which caused me to greet his every move and push harder and faster against him. He suddenly stopped and picked me up and carried me, still wrapped around him, down the gangway to the main deck.

“What are you doing?” I laughed, as I watched to see if anyone was looking.

“Oh, I think you know well enough what I’m doing, lass. I’m keeping my promise,” he whispered as I hung from his neck, and he opened the door of his cabin and carried me inside. I laughed again as he struggled to close the door without dropping me, and we fell hard against it, shutting it with a slam. My back was pressed against the smooth wood, and he held me there, pulling my arms up by the wrists and pinning me straddling him. Again he rhythmically ground himself hard against me, far below the waist, restarting that foreign and powerful burn that spread slowly outward and down into my thighs.

“Give me this foolish thing,” he said, whipping the hat and wig from my head and tossing them over his shoulder.

Once I was free of that dark mop of hair, his commanding mouth consumed mine as I panted and tried to breathe, and then he slowly travelled down the length of my neck until he reached the arc of my breasts. I strained against his grip and pulled and tugged my wrists free at last. My hands flew to his hair, tearing it free of the thin strip of cloth holding it back.  I clawed two fists full and held on.

“Jesus Christ, woman,” he moaned as he wildly drew mouthfuls of my breasts between his widened lips and then leaned back and began wrenching at the hooks of my bodice, tearing me free and ripping it away from my body.

About the time I thought the trembling in my thighs that travelled to and fro from where our searing heat collided would burst me open, he pulled me into his arms and turned, heading for his bunk. He’d had his cabin completely done over in rich red and royal blue fabrics, and his bed was no exception. His stark white sheets were brand new and the pillars of his bunk were adorned with sheer gold fabric and thick blue velvet drapes with golden fringe, tied back with twisted golden rope to match. The solitary lantern that was the only light in the cabin brought back the memory of that night he’d denied me, and it made me want him even more.

The blood that once gave me life as it ran through my body now seemed unable to reach my head. As he placed me on my feet, I tilted and struggled to stand. I supported myself against one of the bedposts and watched as he pulled at his shirt and tore it up and over his head with one hand and tossed it aside. The air was warm, and I began to feel perspiration pooling beneath my throat, which I swiped with the cuff of my sleeve. Our eyes were locked onto each other’s as he moved towards me and swept my hand away. Regardless of the temperature in the room, I was still trembling from the neck down when he wrapped his arms around me and slid his big hands into the back of my skirt and pulled my shirt up, an inch at a time, until I felt those sandy palms of his slide beneath it and over my back.

His mouth found mine again as I closed my eyes and listened to the deep, humming sound coming from his soul.  Those hands massaged my skin beneath my shirt from my waist to my shoulders and back again. I couldn’t believe he was mine. I wanted to bury myself inside of his chest and feel everything he felt, and know what he wanted, and how he wanted me to please him. I was afraid to ask him, and yet he said nothing to guide me. As his mouth again explored my breasts and my shoulders, I wondered if it was simply better to just relax and let him lead me the rest of the way. That was until I felt his right hand sliding from my back and taking my left into his.

He slid his thick fingers between mine and closed them, pressing our palms tightly together.  Then, he pulled my hand down between us and gently pressed it against his swollen desire. My hand was shaking, but he kissed me again so passionately, tightly tugging on my tongue with his teeth, that I instinctively clutched him down below and began stroking my fingers up and down against him.

“My sweet lady,” he moaned into my mouth, and as I continued, his left hand slid from beneath my blouse where it rested on my back, around my waist, and upwards until it covered my breast. What seemed like only moments later, there we stood before each other, with nothing between us but the flickering glow of the lantern. We’d seen each other completely naked before but this time, our exploration went far beyond what our eyes could see.