Jack Templar Monster Hunter (4 page)

“Yeah, you thanks,” I said back.

You thanks?
Ugh, I was an idiot. A couple of her friends snickered and rolled their eyes, but Cindy smiled. I left the room feeling like I was walking on air. But there’s nothing more effective at bringing you back down to Earth than remembering you’re on the way to meet the principal.

I walked into the front office and the school secretary, Ms. Hester, looked up from her desk. All us kids liked Ms. Hester. She was younger than most of the teachers, somewhere in her early twenties, and drove a totally sweet, red classic Ford Mustang convertible. Every once in a while, she would entertain us by peeling out of the parking lot in a cloud of burning rubber.

And she wasn’t a stickler for the rules. Who am I kidding? She thought all rules were ridiculous. As long as Ms. Hester liked you and no one else was looking, we all knew that a tardy slip sent to the office was just as likely to end up in the trash can as it was to get put into our record. You could chew gum around her. Run in the hallways. Throw food in the lunchroom. Anything you wanted.

With Ms. Hester, there was always a little rebellion just under the surface. Even in school assemblies where the teachers got on their soap boxes about the importance of wearing helmets, or eating right, or respecting school property, we would catch her rolling her eyes as if she thought the whole thing was stupid. Kind of like we did.

The only hot-button issue she had was if boys were rude to girls. If she saw that kind of behavior, all bets were off. She’d haul you into the office as if you had just tried to set fire to the place. I heard about one boy who was calling a girl names until she cried. Suddenly, he started to get detention slips from the front office for being late. Only, he wasn’t ever late. When he complained, the detention slips came twice as fast. Each and every week for two months, he had detention. It was only after he apologized to the girl that the detention slips stopped.

“Hey Jack,” Ms. Hester said when I walked in. “Heard about what happened.” She lowered her voice and winked at me. “Wish I could have been there to see it.”

I smiled, but not for long. From the back office came the shrill voice of the principal, Mrs. Fitcher.

“Is that the Smith boy? Send him in. Now.”

I’m sure everyone feels like the principal at their school is the scariest, most intense person they’ve ever met. I can pretty much guarantee that none of them even comes close to Mrs. Fitcher.

An ancient woman, Mrs. Fitcher was one of the most wrinkly people I’d ever seen. She reminded me of one of those squishy-faced dogs with too much skin for the tininess of their little faces, so the skin just kind of rolls up on itself. She was skinny, so skinny that it was easy to make the mistake of thinking that she was frail. In fact, Ms. Fitcher was not only strong, she was weirdly strong. We once saw her drag Mr. Deek across campus by his ear for some wrong that he had committed.

But the scariest thing about Ms. Fitcher was her eyes. Those cold, steel-grey eyes that didn’t seem to really look at you, so much as cut into your body and suck out your soul.

OK, so maybe that’s a little much. Still, she was pretty creepy.

“What’s this I hear about a fight, Mr. Smith?” Mrs. Fitcher asked.

I was sitting in a wooden chair in front of the principal’s desk. She leaned forward, her elbows on the table, giving me the full staring treatment with those eyes.

“Uh, yeah,” I mumbled. “Just a little misunderstanding.”

“This is quite a serious issue, young man. I expect that you will—“

Mrs. Fitcher lost her train of thought, looked behind me and gave a short wave. I turned and saw Dirk Riggle walk past with his mother, still holding a bloody napkin to his nose. He must have seen me out of the corner of his eye, because he turned his head just enough so that he looked in my direction.

I just couldn’t help myself. I broke out into a huge smile and wiggled my nose at him. Dirk quickly turned away and let his mother walk him out of the building.

I turned back and saw the most remarkable thing. Mrs. Fitcher’s overly wrinkly face was pulled back in what could only be described as a smile. It was fleeting, gone the second I turned around, but I saw it. For the first time since I had gotten the call to the principal’s office, I thought things might actually work out OK.

“You have left me no choice but to issue you a one-day suspension.”

My heart sank. Aunt Sophie would be beside herself when she found out. And it meant that I would be suspended from school on my birthday. I wasn’t sure what that would mean as far as birthday presents went, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t good.

Just as I was rolling the repercussions of my suspension around in my head, things got really strange.

Mrs. Fitcher leaned across her desk and urged me closer with a motion of her crooked finger. I leaned in and she whispered, “Enjoy the day off, Jack. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.” She reached out and grabbed my wrist, squeezing it painfully. “Nice to see your change coming on. It’ll make it more fun.”

My wrist burned from her touch. Literally. I’m talking a little trail of black smoke rose up from her hands. I pulled back but her grip was too tight.

I looked into her eyes; usually cold and lifeless, they now blazed with anger. Her lips pulled back and revealed a double row of black, rotting teeth and a long, black tongue that flicked the air like a snake’s . Her chin jutted forward, her wrinkled skin stretching as her face became longer and longer. I watched in horror as her face contorted into that of a hideous monster.

“That’s all we want, Jack,” she hissed. “Just a little fun.”

I heard a scraping sound as dark, leathery wings unfolded from behind Mrs. Fitcher and fanned out to either side of her. They were ribbed, scabby, with holes ripped through them, the edges tipped with wicked-looking hooks.

I yanked my arm back and finally broke free of her grip. I lost my balance and fell over the chair onto the floor. Just then, Ms. Hester opened the door and walked in. She looked down and saw me sprawled on the floor.

“Are you OK?” Ms. Hester asked.

I scrambled to my feet and spun around to face Mrs. Fitcher…who sat calmly behind her desk as if nothing had happened.

She smiled at me. The black teeth were gone. Her face was back to normal.

“Well, Mr. Smith, are you?” Mrs. Fitcher asked.

I looked down at my wrist. There was a red mark where her touch had burned my skin. “Yes,” I said, watching Mrs. Fitcher closely. “Just fine.”

“Good. You can start your suspension immediately. You are allowed to walk home. Bring back a signed letter from your guardian. Ms. Hester will see to it. Dismissed.”

I turned to follow Ms. Hester out of the office, ready to get the heck out of there.

“Oh, Jack,” Mrs. Fitcher called when Ms. Hester was out of eyeshot. “Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow. A lot of people are looking forward to it. I know I am.”

I walked out and shut the door behind me. I’m not embarrassed to admit that my hands shook as I did it. I jumped when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I spun around. It was only Ms. Hester. She looked at me curiously.

“Are you all right? You’re not going to let the old bat get to you, are you?” she said.

I rocked back. That was exactly what Mrs. Fitcher had looked like, a giant bat.

“How did you…so you know…” I stammered.

“Know what? Why are you acting so strange?” She handed me a slip of paper with the word “SUSPENSION” written across the top.

I shook my head. Her choice of words had been an accident. By her expression, I could tell that she didn’t really know what I was talking about. I took the suspension note from her and stuffed it into my backpack.

“Sure you’re OK, kid?” Ms. Hester asked. “’Cause you don’t look so good.”

“No, I’m fine. Really,” I said, trying to think things through. Surely the whole thing with Mrs. Fitcher had to be some kind of hallucination. Maybe I was coming down with the flu or something. That was it! That would explain all the weirdness going on. I had the flu and I was just seeing things.

I admit that it seemed unlikely, but it was better than having to accept that any of these bizarre things were actually really happening.

I held up the suspension note in front of me. Regardless of why or how I was imagining these things, the piece of paper in my hand was uncomfortably real. I must have looked pretty pathetic because Ms. Hester took me by the arm as if to steady me.

“I’m supposed to make you call your aunt, but why don’t we just skip that part?” Ms. Hester said kindly.

I nodded my head. Aunt Sophie was going to kill me. No, it was worse than that. If she would just yell at me, I could take it. She was going to be disappointed in me and that just bummed me out.

Ms. Hester nudged me. ”Tell ya what, just bring that paper back signed the day after tomorrow.” She leaned in. “I’m not going to look at it too closely to see who signed it, if you know what I mean.”

I smiled, feeling a surge of hope. “Really?” I asked.

“Sure,” Ms. Hester said. “Consider it an early birthday present. You should always get something nice on your birthday.” She nodded out the window, “See that?”

I looked out the window and into the school parking lot. Right in the front row nearest the office was her cherry red Mustang convertible with the top down. It was one of the old ones, made in 1966. I knew that because every single boy in Sunnyvale Middle School, myself included, had spent time studying that machine’s chromed curves and perfect lines. It just screamed speed and super-coolness.

“Sweet ride,” I said.

“Yeah, it is,” Ms. Hester said. “The best

birthday present I ever got.”

“Someone gave you that car?” I said.

“Yeah…me. I tell ya, kid. If you wait around for someone to give you what you want, there’s a good chance you’ll never get it. Sometimes you have to go out get it yourself.”

“Ms. Hester!” Ms. Fitcher’s voice screamed from behind the door. “Where are the agenda books I asked for? It’s been hours.”

Ms. Hester gave me a wink, “Some people are slow to grasp the concept. Now get out of here. Enjoy your day off tomorrow.”

I watched as she grabbed a stack of agenda books and hustled into Mrs. Fitcher’s office. I didn’t wait around to see if Mrs. Fitcher was still in human form or if she has transformed into something worse than before. I turned tail and got out of there.

You’d think that having your school principal turn into a bat-creature in front of your eyes would be about the weirdest thing that could happen to you in a day. But what happened next blew that completely out of the water.

O
K, so we need to take a break in the story to take care of a little business. Like I mentioned when we started, since you made the decision to read this book, you’ve opened yourself up to attack by any monsters who might be in your area. As you’ve seen so far, monsters can lurk in the unlikeliest of places. They can be teachers, gardeners, cashiers, or strangers walking down the street. (I have since discovered that most, but not all, school principals are monsters.)

Sometimes they are not disguised as humans at all. Sometimes they just stay in their monster form and slink in the shadows, coming out only at night to prey on their victims. And by victim, I mean you. 

Hey, I warned you not to read this book, but noooooo…you wouldn’t listen. The good news is that by reading this book, you’ll be able to properly identify different types of monsters (even if they are in their human disguises.) I wish that I had time to train you on how to take them out like the butt-kicking monster hunter I know you are, but we’re not going to be able to do that until later.

So, until then, there are some things you need to know and some precautions you should take:

1. Reading this book attracts monsters. You emit an energy that monsters can sense and use to track you down. So, you’re most likely to have monsters find you while you are reading this book.

2. Read this book in a secure place. In your house when it’s all locked up is best. (If you’re in your house right now, put the book down and check to make sure all the doors and windows are locked. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

3. If you can’t find a secure place to read and you just can’t wait, at least read on the move. Change locations every ten minutes or so; that way, the monsters will have a harder time zeroing in on your location. The car is perfect for this, since you’re constantly on the move. (You might want to close the book in a traffic jam when the car stops .)

4. Don’t ever read out in the open for long periods of time. Sitting under a tree in an open field with no one else around? Not so good. You would be a prime target for harpies, giant earthworms, wood trolls, ogres, faeries (not the cute kind), leprechauns, werewolves, various undead entities…the list goes on.

5. Don’t tell your friends about this book unless you’re prepared to share it with them.

That last one is seriously important. If you tell them about this book and what’s in it, that might be enough to drag them into this world along with you. Without knowing why, your buddies will be chased by monsters without the benefit of being told how to protect themselves.

Trust me, you don’t want to wake up one day and find out your best friend got snatched up and eaten by a coven of vampire zombies, all because you were yapping to him at lunch about this super cool book you’re reading.

So, what if you’re the kind of person who just can’t keep your big mouth shut? (You know who you are.)

Here’s the rule:

You can tell your friends about the book, but only if you have them read through the warnings first and make their own decision, just like you did. Then, after being properly warned, if they still want to make the same bone-headed decision you did and read the book, then you can go ahead and let them.

Just make sure they lock their doors too, because the monsters will find them. Just like they are on their way to find you, even as you read this page. I’m not kidding. Go lock those doors. Right now.